› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Eric is now an angel in heaven.
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Swanee.
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm
At 12:12 a.m. Eric is now an angel in heaven. My heart is broken. Now that Eric is finally at peace, my battle is just beginning. Please pray for God to give me strength. Eric is my hero, my soulmate and now my angel. I love you forever, Eric.
JillNEric in OH
At 12:12 a.m. Eric is now an angel in heaven. My heart is broken. Now that Eric is finally at peace, my battle is just beginning. Please pray for God to give me strength. Eric is my hero, my soulmate and now my angel. I love you forever, Eric.
JillNEric in OH
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:24 pm
I am sorry to read this, but I am glad he is finally free.
You have both fought this battle for a long time now, so you take a well deserved rest and take care of yourself before going back into the battle against melanoma.
One day the beast will be beaten.
My condolences toy you and your family,
Michael
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:24 pm
I am sorry to read this, but I am glad he is finally free.
You have both fought this battle for a long time now, so you take a well deserved rest and take care of yourself before going back into the battle against melanoma.
One day the beast will be beaten.
My condolences toy you and your family,
Michael
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Jill, please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of Eric. May the comfort of God help you and your family during this difficult time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Frank from Australia
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Jill, please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of Eric. May the comfort of God help you and your family during this difficult time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Frank from Australia
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- August 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I have been following your posts since my husband was diagnosed with stage 3c last summer… He also lost his life on May 27th. This part of the journey please take take of yourself as your family needs you now more than ever. Although your heart is breaking know that the love that lives there and the memories will forever be with you.Peace to you.
Deb
lovingwife to Bob (the Gambler)
redesign08.blogspot.com -
- August 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I have been following your posts since my husband was diagnosed with stage 3c last summer… He also lost his life on May 27th. This part of the journey please take take of yourself as your family needs you now more than ever. Although your heart is breaking know that the love that lives there and the memories will forever be with you.Peace to you.
Deb
lovingwife to Bob (the Gambler)
redesign08.blogspot.com -
- August 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Jill. I am so very sorry for your loss. Eric was a true inspiration to many who fight this disease, and you have handled this whole situation with grace and dignity. One of my favorite bible passages is Timothy, You have fought the good fight. You have kept the faith. You have won the race. Please, take comfort that Eric is in a better place and he no longer suffers. You were with him every step of the way and the immense love you shared will bring you comfort in the months ahead. Take good care of yourself, I will be praying for you! God bless! Valerie (Phil’s wife) -
- August 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Jill. I am so very sorry for your loss. Eric was a true inspiration to many who fight this disease, and you have handled this whole situation with grace and dignity. One of my favorite bible passages is Timothy, You have fought the good fight. You have kept the faith. You have won the race. Please, take comfort that Eric is in a better place and he no longer suffers. You were with him every step of the way and the immense love you shared will bring you comfort in the months ahead. Take good care of yourself, I will be praying for you! God bless! Valerie (Phil’s wife) -
- August 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Dearest Jill,
Words cannot express my heartfelt sympathy. You and Eric have touched my life so deeply. Thank you so much for sharing your journey – it was not just about melanoma, it was a true love story. Although Eric is soaring with the angels of heaven now, his courage and inspiration will live on in our hearts.
May God give you strength to endure his loss and peace to live on.
A melanoma warrior is not just the one diagnosed Jill. Eric fought his battle and now yours is beginning.
My prayers are with you always.
Laurie
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- August 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Dearest Jill,
Words cannot express my heartfelt sympathy. You and Eric have touched my life so deeply. Thank you so much for sharing your journey – it was not just about melanoma, it was a true love story. Although Eric is soaring with the angels of heaven now, his courage and inspiration will live on in our hearts.
May God give you strength to endure his loss and peace to live on.
A melanoma warrior is not just the one diagnosed Jill. Eric fought his battle and now yours is beginning.
My prayers are with you always.
Laurie
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- August 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Jill, I am so very sorry for your loss. It's been a long hard journey for you and Eric, and I hope he is at peace now, and that you can begin to heal soon.
My deepest condolences.
dian in spokane
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- August 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Jill, I am so very sorry for your loss. It's been a long hard journey for you and Eric, and I hope he is at peace now, and that you can begin to heal soon.
My deepest condolences.
dian in spokane
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Jill, so sorry to hear this. Take comfort in John 14:1-4
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.
God Bless you for all you've done and all you will do!
David
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Jill, so sorry to hear this. Take comfort in John 14:1-4
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.
God Bless you for all you've done and all you will do!
David
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Jill, as both Eric and you have served as angels on earth, so Eric will continue with God by his side. Your courage and faith have been been an inspiration to, obviously, so many others. The word "heroes" keeps coming to mind. I pray that you continue your path in peace. A lot of love surrounds you, Jill.
With love,
Hope
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Jill, as both Eric and you have served as angels on earth, so Eric will continue with God by his side. Your courage and faith have been been an inspiration to, obviously, so many others. The word "heroes" keeps coming to mind. I pray that you continue your path in peace. A lot of love surrounds you, Jill.
With love,
Hope
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Jill,
I lost my wife last April 19 after she had battled melanoma for eight years. I got to know and follow many postings during her illness and found I had to keep coming back to see how people were managing their own battles. I am so sorry you had to experience the loss that I and many others on this forum have had. I, too, lost my best and closest friend after 35 years together. We raised 2 boys during our marriage. We laughed and cried together many times and shared our deepest hopes and fears. I take comfort that my wife is no longer suffering, and I hope to be with her again in the next life. My deepest and best wishes to you and your family.
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Jill,
I lost my wife last April 19 after she had battled melanoma for eight years. I got to know and follow many postings during her illness and found I had to keep coming back to see how people were managing their own battles. I am so sorry you had to experience the loss that I and many others on this forum have had. I, too, lost my best and closest friend after 35 years together. We raised 2 boys during our marriage. We laughed and cried together many times and shared our deepest hopes and fears. I take comfort that my wife is no longer suffering, and I hope to be with her again in the next life. My deepest and best wishes to you and your family.
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Jill,
You are in my prayers. I, too, lost my husband 4 weeks ago. He was my best friend – my life! I followed your posts since he had tumors similar to Eric's, but they were on his face and neck. We always seemed a step behind you. I found your journaling and outreach an inspiration, and although we were private in our battle, I plan to work hard to raise awareness in his memory. I also wanted to say that we prayed for strength. We don't know God's will, but He does answer prayers… sometimes with a yes, sometimes a no, and sometimes a "later". While our prayers to remain together on this earth were answered with a no, our prayers for strength for both of us and our children was answered with a YES! We are comforted with knowing that we will be together with Daddy again, and that it is our jobs to continue and enjoy life, while keeping the love he gave to us in our hearts and our daily lives. Our Loves will never be forgotten and our lives are better for having known them. Eric is indeed at Peace, and I pray that you will feel that peace as well.
JenC
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Jill,
You are in my prayers. I, too, lost my husband 4 weeks ago. He was my best friend – my life! I followed your posts since he had tumors similar to Eric's, but they were on his face and neck. We always seemed a step behind you. I found your journaling and outreach an inspiration, and although we were private in our battle, I plan to work hard to raise awareness in his memory. I also wanted to say that we prayed for strength. We don't know God's will, but He does answer prayers… sometimes with a yes, sometimes a no, and sometimes a "later". While our prayers to remain together on this earth were answered with a no, our prayers for strength for both of us and our children was answered with a YES! We are comforted with knowing that we will be together with Daddy again, and that it is our jobs to continue and enjoy life, while keeping the love he gave to us in our hearts and our daily lives. Our Loves will never be forgotten and our lives are better for having known them. Eric is indeed at Peace, and I pray that you will feel that peace as well.
JenC
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Jill,
I am so sorry. Eric was a fighter until the end. You are a great Caregiver and Eric is now at peace and no pain. He is surely watching from above. Thanks for sharing his journey with us.
Jimmy b
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Jill,
I am so sorry. Eric was a fighter until the end. You are a great Caregiver and Eric is now at peace and no pain. He is surely watching from above. Thanks for sharing his journey with us.
Jimmy b
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Jill and Family,
I weep as I read your post. I have been following your journey since mine began in Feb 2009. My "spot" was in almost the exact location as Eric's, in fact our skin grafts look eerily similar. Although I am a firm believer in faith and that God doesn't want to see his children sick, I grapple at times like this to fully comprehend his plan. I know you will find strength as your next journey begins and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Caringly,
Mary
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- August 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Jill and Family,
I weep as I read your post. I have been following your journey since mine began in Feb 2009. My "spot" was in almost the exact location as Eric's, in fact our skin grafts look eerily similar. Although I am a firm believer in faith and that God doesn't want to see his children sick, I grapple at times like this to fully comprehend his plan. I know you will find strength as your next journey begins and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Caringly,
Mary
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Jill, I have been keeping you and your family in my prayers and will continue to do so. You and Eric are such an inspiration and so strong and faithful. You have touched the lives of so many of us that have been affected by Melanoma. Please accept my deepest sympathy at this time.
Warm regards,
Kris
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Jill, I have been keeping you and your family in my prayers and will continue to do so. You and Eric are such an inspiration and so strong and faithful. You have touched the lives of so many of us that have been affected by Melanoma. Please accept my deepest sympathy at this time.
Warm regards,
Kris
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Been following you and Eric silently and I am in awe of your courage and love. Now he is free and running and jumping for joy. We mourn the loss of a warrior but we celebrate his new life. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you begin your own journey through the pain of loss.
Becca in Florida (Stage 3b)
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Been following you and Eric silently and I am in awe of your courage and love. Now he is free and running and jumping for joy. We mourn the loss of a warrior but we celebrate his new life. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you begin your own journey through the pain of loss.
Becca in Florida (Stage 3b)
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Jill, my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband Eric. I've been following your posts these past few months. Thank you for sharing your journey, educating the rest of us, and for being a true inspiration to all of us. My prayers are with you & family. The love you shared with Eric will forever live in your heart.
Cathy
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Jill, my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband Eric. I've been following your posts these past few months. Thank you for sharing your journey, educating the rest of us, and for being a true inspiration to all of us. My prayers are with you & family. The love you shared with Eric will forever live in your heart.
Cathy
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- August 3, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Jill,
You were an amazing caregiver. You are in my prayers. I'm so sorry.
Stay Strong
King-
- August 3, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Dear Jill
your strength throughout this matches none. Eric went (and you) so far in educating people, and I have a feeling you will go on to do this to a great degree.
But leave your self time for you to grieve, to remember, to continue to love him. You both were such an inspiration to me and through me to my family.
Love Bonnie Lea
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- August 3, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Dear Jill
your strength throughout this matches none. Eric went (and you) so far in educating people, and I have a feeling you will go on to do this to a great degree.
But leave your self time for you to grieve, to remember, to continue to love him. You both were such an inspiration to me and through me to my family.
Love Bonnie Lea
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- August 3, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I'm so very sorry to hear this. I did a blog post today dedicated to Eric (and you) and your video awareness campaign. A new version of "Beds Are Burning" by Midnight Oil. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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- August 3, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I'm so very sorry to hear this. I did a blog post today dedicated to Eric (and you) and your video awareness campaign. A new version of "Beds Are Burning" by Midnight Oil. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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- August 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm
May his memory be eternal – yes, sending you strength to endure this time of sorrow and pain – let me know if there is anything I can do to help you – Leni, widow of Donald , June 7, 2004
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- August 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm
May his memory be eternal – yes, sending you strength to endure this time of sorrow and pain – let me know if there is anything I can do to help you – Leni, widow of Donald , June 7, 2004
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- August 3, 2011 at 9:13 pm
My heart goes out to you and your family. Know that you and Eric were an inspiration to many. Too many good people lost to this horrible disease, I pray we someday find a cure, and that you find strength in family and friends in the days to come.
Maria
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- August 3, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Jill,
I am so sorry. I hope you have family and friends with you now at this hard time. You both battled so hard, he was a true warrior.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
laurie from maine
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- August 3, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Jill,
I am so sorry. I hope you have family and friends with you now at this hard time. You both battled so hard, he was a true warrior.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
laurie from maine
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- August 3, 2011 at 9:13 pm
My heart goes out to you and your family. Know that you and Eric were an inspiration to many. Too many good people lost to this horrible disease, I pray we someday find a cure, and that you find strength in family and friends in the days to come.
Maria
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- August 3, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Oh Jill, I am so sorry for you and your family. Eric will be truly missed, he was such a brave warrior. But the Lord saw how much he has been suffering and said it was time to come home. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus, complete without pain. You will meet again. Val xx
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- August 3, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Oh Jill, I am so sorry for you and your family. Eric will be truly missed, he was such a brave warrior. But the Lord saw how much he has been suffering and said it was time to come home. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus, complete without pain. You will meet again. Val xx
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:29 am
Jill,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. There are really no words to say to you that will heal your pain right now. Just know that many people love you and admire both your's and Eric's courage and strength. Try to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Find your good friend and lean on her/him for strength. I would be lost without my dear friend.
Peace and prayers for you and your family.
Kim
Mother to Erik who set aside his battle with melanoma 5/22/2011 age 26
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:29 am
Jill,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. There are really no words to say to you that will heal your pain right now. Just know that many people love you and admire both your's and Eric's courage and strength. Try to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Find your good friend and lean on her/him for strength. I would be lost without my dear friend.
Peace and prayers for you and your family.
Kim
Mother to Erik who set aside his battle with melanoma 5/22/2011 age 26
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:44 am
Jill,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your and Eric's journey thru melanoma has been an inspiration to us all and Eric's videos will serve as a true educational testament. Thank you, and God bless Eric, you, and your families.
Chris
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:44 am
Jill,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your and Eric's journey thru melanoma has been an inspiration to us all and Eric's videos will serve as a true educational testament. Thank you, and God bless Eric, you, and your families.
Chris
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:52 am
Jill,
I am so sorry to read of Eric's passing and of your family's great loss. I have followed your updates since you first began posting and hoped and prayed at each step for a cure and then a miracle for Eric. Words just aren't available to describe the hell that you've gone through and the hellish days ahead as you are forced to deal with such a horrible tragedy.
May peace and gentleness find you each day, in small moments, and hopefully, in time, in longer stretches. There is little rest in grief, little comfort in anything at all….
Wendy
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:52 am
Jill,
I am so sorry to read of Eric's passing and of your family's great loss. I have followed your updates since you first began posting and hoped and prayed at each step for a cure and then a miracle for Eric. Words just aren't available to describe the hell that you've gone through and the hellish days ahead as you are forced to deal with such a horrible tragedy.
May peace and gentleness find you each day, in small moments, and hopefully, in time, in longer stretches. There is little rest in grief, little comfort in anything at all….
Wendy
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- August 4, 2011 at 1:33 am
My deepest condolences to you in your loss of Eric. You have both given strength to all of us. I have followed your journey, celebrated victories and cried with your stresses. He was a very lucky man to have you beside him. All of us should be so lucky. As he graduated into heaven, may you find comfort in the love surrounding you. Beth 3/B
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- August 4, 2011 at 1:33 am
My deepest condolences to you in your loss of Eric. You have both given strength to all of us. I have followed your journey, celebrated victories and cried with your stresses. He was a very lucky man to have you beside him. All of us should be so lucky. As he graduated into heaven, may you find comfort in the love surrounding you. Beth 3/B
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- August 4, 2011 at 1:36 am
Jill (and Eric),
As a fellow caregiver I can not imagine the sense of loss you are having.
However, know that Eric is smiling down as He reads all the comments from everyone that has followed THE journey. I for one have been following since day one.
If and when you do something formal in rememberance of Eric, please post the details and I'll be the first to pitch in.
Tom
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- August 4, 2011 at 1:36 am
Jill (and Eric),
As a fellow caregiver I can not imagine the sense of loss you are having.
However, know that Eric is smiling down as He reads all the comments from everyone that has followed THE journey. I for one have been following since day one.
If and when you do something formal in rememberance of Eric, please post the details and I'll be the first to pitch in.
Tom
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- August 4, 2011 at 3:16 am
jill i was sadden to read tonight that eric lost his brave fight with malanoma I have been a member since january of 2011 I have never posted on the board but followed it twice a week until my husband lost his nine month battle with stage 1V malanoma june 5th 2011 at 54 he too was my hero, best friend ,soul mate and love of my life. I still came back to follow you and eric to see how he was doing our stories are so similar second marriage found my true love soul mate best friend I take it one day at a time I want to keep fighting in Tims honor. I found great support and information on this board and from you and eric inspiration and the will to keep fighting ,the board is a great big family who are fighting together for the same cure .I Will be thinking about you as you begin a new journey and take all the memories and love he gave to you and talk about them everyday I find this helps me, take care.
kim
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- August 4, 2011 at 3:16 am
jill i was sadden to read tonight that eric lost his brave fight with malanoma I have been a member since january of 2011 I have never posted on the board but followed it twice a week until my husband lost his nine month battle with stage 1V malanoma june 5th 2011 at 54 he too was my hero, best friend ,soul mate and love of my life. I still came back to follow you and eric to see how he was doing our stories are so similar second marriage found my true love soul mate best friend I take it one day at a time I want to keep fighting in Tims honor. I found great support and information on this board and from you and eric inspiration and the will to keep fighting ,the board is a great big family who are fighting together for the same cure .I Will be thinking about you as you begin a new journey and take all the memories and love he gave to you and talk about them everyday I find this helps me, take care.
kim
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- August 4, 2011 at 3:38 am
Jill,
Nothing can ease the pain of your loss right now but I hope the deep love you and Eric shared will guide you now and always.
You provided such devoted support to Eric and he is now alive and well with the angels – and at peace. Sending prayers to you and your family during this very difficult time.
Mary
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- August 4, 2011 at 3:38 am
Jill,
Nothing can ease the pain of your loss right now but I hope the deep love you and Eric shared will guide you now and always.
You provided such devoted support to Eric and he is now alive and well with the angels – and at peace. Sending prayers to you and your family during this very difficult time.
Mary
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- August 4, 2011 at 4:19 am
Jill,
I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't been here very long and did not get to know you two the way some others have, but I have found strength in the strength and perseverance you both showed to the very end.
Praying that Eric has found peace, and that, in time, you will be able to as well.
Wish I knew what else to say, Jill. You have been an inspiration.
Michelle, wife of Don
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- August 4, 2011 at 4:19 am
Jill,
I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't been here very long and did not get to know you two the way some others have, but I have found strength in the strength and perseverance you both showed to the very end.
Praying that Eric has found peace, and that, in time, you will be able to as well.
Wish I knew what else to say, Jill. You have been an inspiration.
Michelle, wife of Don
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Jill my heartfelt condolences, Eric was a real warrior and you one of the best carers you did everything you could. We will pray for you both.
James
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- August 4, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Jill my heartfelt condolences, Eric was a real warrior and you one of the best carers you did everything you could. We will pray for you both.
James
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- August 5, 2011 at 1:07 am
Jill,
Words can't adequately describe what you're going through. My wife and I watched some of your videos. We cried and prayed for both of you. Eric's grace, fighting spirit and love for Jesus left an endelible mark on us(as well as your example).
Lord Jesus, I do pray and trust that you will grant Jill the strength she needs. Surround her with friends and family who wil help carry her. You tell us in Your Word that You raise us up on eagles' wings. Provide Jill with whatever she needs to heal from her brokenness. There will be many difficult days but You are beside her every step of the way. Most of all I ask that Your will be done in Jill's life. Amen.
God Bless you always Jill,
Jim M.
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- August 5, 2011 at 1:07 am
Jill,
Words can't adequately describe what you're going through. My wife and I watched some of your videos. We cried and prayed for both of you. Eric's grace, fighting spirit and love for Jesus left an endelible mark on us(as well as your example).
Lord Jesus, I do pray and trust that you will grant Jill the strength she needs. Surround her with friends and family who wil help carry her. You tell us in Your Word that You raise us up on eagles' wings. Provide Jill with whatever she needs to heal from her brokenness. There will be many difficult days but You are beside her every step of the way. Most of all I ask that Your will be done in Jill's life. Amen.
God Bless you always Jill,
Jim M.
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- August 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Jill, my heart is heavy. Eric went thru many battles, but won the war and is now at peace. I pray for peace, comfort and strength for you, and your and Eric's family and friends during this difficult time. Hold tight to all the wonderful memories. *hugz*
~Lisa~
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- August 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Jill, my heart is heavy. Eric went thru many battles, but won the war and is now at peace. I pray for peace, comfort and strength for you, and your and Eric's family and friends during this difficult time. Hold tight to all the wonderful memories. *hugz*
~Lisa~
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- August 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Dear Jill,
I am very sorry for your loss. I have followed your story and video's and admire you for helping Eric tell us his journey. I don't think I could have taken those video's with the strength you have showed on this path but I really appreciate all you have helped to teach the rest of us who may have to venture down this road.
My husband, Gene_S and I want to express our deepest sympathy to you and the family. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you. You both were truly blessed to have had one another.
I also pray that you will find comfort and healing from all your work, love and support that you gave to this melanoma warrior.
Judy and Gene (stage IV head, neck, liver and lungs)
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- August 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Dear Jill,
I am very sorry for your loss. I have followed your story and video's and admire you for helping Eric tell us his journey. I don't think I could have taken those video's with the strength you have showed on this path but I really appreciate all you have helped to teach the rest of us who may have to venture down this road.
My husband, Gene_S and I want to express our deepest sympathy to you and the family. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you. You both were truly blessed to have had one another.
I also pray that you will find comfort and healing from all your work, love and support that you gave to this melanoma warrior.
Judy and Gene (stage IV head, neck, liver and lungs)
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- August 29, 2011 at 5:24 am
Jill,
I know exactly how you feel. I was my husband/best friend/soul mate's caregiver during his 21/2 year fight against this awful disease & lost him to it at 4:10 am on June 19th. Take comfort in the knowledge of how very much he loved you & how hard he fought to stay here with you & in the fact that you were able to say everything you wanted to say to each other. This is a totally different, and at times very lonely, battle. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is that I promised Tony I would, & because there are so many things I want to do to honor his memory.
So, if this is of any help, here's what I've learned so far:
Find a grief support group for people your age-group who've lost their spouses because, no matter how well-meaning people are, only those in this same boat truly understand what you're going through.
Never leave the house without tissues — as you probably already know, the grief will suddenly overwhelm you without warning.
Trust your gut-instinct & do whatever you need to do to get through each day — your subconcious mind will protect you from a lot if you let it — although it does get a bit overworked in doing so & leave you rather forgetful — I've had to start writing lists & always leaving keys in exactly the same place.
Get a lot of rest: it's hard to sleep properly, and everyday things can suddenly become exhausting. You did everything you could to take care of Eric, now it's time to let the people who love you take care of you. Don't be afraid to ask for help from them, and, just as importantly, to tell them if what they're saying/doing isn't what you need.
I envision it as reaching a fork in the road on our journey where he had to go one way & I had to go the other, but eventually we'll meet up again. It's just a real slog to make this part of the journey without your travelling companion so I wish you all the best in taking these first steps along this new path…
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- August 29, 2011 at 5:24 am
Jill,
I know exactly how you feel. I was my husband/best friend/soul mate's caregiver during his 21/2 year fight against this awful disease & lost him to it at 4:10 am on June 19th. Take comfort in the knowledge of how very much he loved you & how hard he fought to stay here with you & in the fact that you were able to say everything you wanted to say to each other. This is a totally different, and at times very lonely, battle. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is that I promised Tony I would, & because there are so many things I want to do to honor his memory.
So, if this is of any help, here's what I've learned so far:
Find a grief support group for people your age-group who've lost their spouses because, no matter how well-meaning people are, only those in this same boat truly understand what you're going through.
Never leave the house without tissues — as you probably already know, the grief will suddenly overwhelm you without warning.
Trust your gut-instinct & do whatever you need to do to get through each day — your subconcious mind will protect you from a lot if you let it — although it does get a bit overworked in doing so & leave you rather forgetful — I've had to start writing lists & always leaving keys in exactly the same place.
Get a lot of rest: it's hard to sleep properly, and everyday things can suddenly become exhausting. You did everything you could to take care of Eric, now it's time to let the people who love you take care of you. Don't be afraid to ask for help from them, and, just as importantly, to tell them if what they're saying/doing isn't what you need.
I envision it as reaching a fork in the road on our journey where he had to go one way & I had to go the other, but eventually we'll meet up again. It's just a real slog to make this part of the journey without your travelling companion so I wish you all the best in taking these first steps along this new path…
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- August 29, 2011 at 10:43 am
K,
Thank you so much. Your post was so encouraging and helpful. It's almost a month now since Eric passed. I've already experienced much of which you said. I actually had a pretty bad panic attack in the attorney's office the day of executing the will. It came on suddenly so I can relate to the carrying tissues.
Thank you again. Jill Sizemore
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- August 29, 2011 at 10:43 am
K,
Thank you so much. Your post was so encouraging and helpful. It's almost a month now since Eric passed. I've already experienced much of which you said. I actually had a pretty bad panic attack in the attorney's office the day of executing the will. It came on suddenly so I can relate to the carrying tissues.
Thank you again. Jill Sizemore
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- August 29, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I would just like to chime in here and say that I understand how you might be feeling at the moment.
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of Tony. Although we cope with grief differently, I think that it is always advisable to talk with others who have experienced a similar situation. As you have mentioned, joining a grief support group is a good idea.
I encourage you to continue to post in our forum, as there are people here who can really understand what you have been through. Perhaps you would like to start a new topic on any concerns that you may have?
Hope this helps.
Frank from Australia
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- August 29, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I would just like to chime in here and say that I understand how you might be feeling at the moment.
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of Tony. Although we cope with grief differently, I think that it is always advisable to talk with others who have experienced a similar situation. As you have mentioned, joining a grief support group is a good idea.
I encourage you to continue to post in our forum, as there are people here who can really understand what you have been through. Perhaps you would like to start a new topic on any concerns that you may have?
Hope this helps.
Frank from Australia
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- September 1, 2011 at 2:06 am
Jill……You and Eric have been such an inspiration to this melanoma community and I give thanks for all that you have contributed to this melanoma battle. Both of you fought very hard against this beast and gave others strength and encouragement to fight back every day to win their own battle against this disease. I am deeply saddened to hear this news and my thoughts and prayers go out to you today. I know you will find peace and comfort in the memory of your constant love and devotion to Eric, a truly beautiful love story! I pray for comfort and strength as you forge ahead. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless!
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- September 1, 2011 at 2:06 am
Jill……You and Eric have been such an inspiration to this melanoma community and I give thanks for all that you have contributed to this melanoma battle. Both of you fought very hard against this beast and gave others strength and encouragement to fight back every day to win their own battle against this disease. I am deeply saddened to hear this news and my thoughts and prayers go out to you today. I know you will find peace and comfort in the memory of your constant love and devotion to Eric, a truly beautiful love story! I pray for comfort and strength as you forge ahead. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless!
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