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I have lost Will

Forums General Melanoma Community I have lost Will

  • Post
    Lori C
    Participant

    William Thanet French, my beloeved Will, left me early Wednesday morning.   I was alone with him at the end.

    I don't know if there was more I could do.  I tried – I am so sorry I could not give him what I so desperately wanted for him.  Right now all I can feel is a tearing pain.  The only comfort I have in any of this is that the pain, for Will, is over. 

    William Thanet French, my beloeved Will, left me early Wednesday morning.   I was alone with him at the end.

    I don't know if there was more I could do.  I tried – I am so sorry I could not give him what I so desperately wanted for him.  Right now all I can feel is a tearing pain.  The only comfort I have in any of this is that the pain, for Will, is over. 

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  • Replies
      King
      Participant

      Lori,

       

      I'm so sorry to read of Will's passing.  And I'll answer your statement…no, there was nothing more that you could do.  You did all that you could and I'm sure Will knew that.  You were an awesome caregiver and support.

       

      Stay Strong
      King

      Stage IV 7/05 Liver mets

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      King
      Participant

      Lori,

       

      I'm so sorry to read of Will's passing.  And I'll answer your statement…no, there was nothing more that you could do.  You did all that you could and I'm sure Will knew that.  You were an awesome caregiver and support.

       

      Stay Strong
      King

      Stage IV 7/05 Liver mets

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      James from Sydney
      Participant

      Lori you have done so much and Will could have sought no better advocate and friend than you. I am so sorry for your loss. 

      James

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      James from Sydney
      Participant

      Lori you have done so much and Will could have sought no better advocate and friend than you. I am so sorry for your loss. 

      James

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      jackiewin
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss.  You were there for Will every step of the way and you did everything in your power to help him.

      Melanoma is a formidable enemy and, unfortunately, too many times it wins the war against it.

      Jackie W

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      jackiewin
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss.  You were there for Will every step of the way and you did everything in your power to help him.

      Melanoma is a formidable enemy and, unfortunately, too many times it wins the war against it.

      Jackie W

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      Phil S
      Participant

      Lori     I have read all your postings along the way, and was constantly amazed at what a caring advocate you were for Will.  I can only hope that I have your inner strength and stamina, as I care for my husband during his battle with this disease.  You gave Will hope,companionship, and love and what wonderful gifts those are.  Stay strong and God Bless!   I firmly believe Will is in a better place.        Valerie (Phil's wife)

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      Phil S
      Participant

      Lori     I have read all your postings along the way, and was constantly amazed at what a caring advocate you were for Will.  I can only hope that I have your inner strength and stamina, as I care for my husband during his battle with this disease.  You gave Will hope,companionship, and love and what wonderful gifts those are.  Stay strong and God Bless!   I firmly believe Will is in a better place.        Valerie (Phil's wife)

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      molly
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss. Will was so blessed to have you but I'm sure you would say you were blessed to have him! You have been such an inspiration to me from the very first time I remember you coming on the board…you were always seeking more information to learn about melanoma treatments and ways to help Will. May the Lord be with you and all of Will's family and friends in the coming days.

      molly

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      molly
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss. Will was so blessed to have you but I'm sure you would say you were blessed to have him! You have been such an inspiration to me from the very first time I remember you coming on the board…you were always seeking more information to learn about melanoma treatments and ways to help Will. May the Lord be with you and all of Will's family and friends in the coming days.

      molly

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      lhaley
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry that Will lost the battle. You were the best advocate, caregiver and friend that anyone could want. Never for a minute doubt anything that you did. Along with that Will was a true fighter, never giving up.

      Will is at peace, Shalom

      Linda

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      lhaley
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry that Will lost the battle. You were the best advocate, caregiver and friend that anyone could want. Never for a minute doubt anything that you did. Along with that Will was a true fighter, never giving up.

      Will is at peace, Shalom

      Linda

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      jag
      Participant

      I am very sorry Lori, he was lucky to have you.

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      jag
      Participant

      I am very sorry Lori, he was lucky to have you.

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      kristin
      Participant

      Lori – I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you both did everything you could. Know that it doesn't have to make sense. Peace and strength be with you. ~ k

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      kristin
      Participant

      Lori – I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you both did everything you could. Know that it doesn't have to make sense. Peace and strength be with you. ~ k

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      KellieSue
      Participant

      Lori, I am so saddened to hear of the loss of Will.

      You were a wonderful caregiver and fought for him when no one else would. I looked forward to your posting about Will.

      There is nothing more you could have done for him because you did it all! You fought to get medicine for him and they gave it to him. You were by his side through his battle with the beast every step of the way. He was blessed to have you.

      Kellie(from Iowa) Stage IV

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      KellieSue
      Participant

      Lori, I am so saddened to hear of the loss of Will.

      You were a wonderful caregiver and fought for him when no one else would. I looked forward to your posting about Will.

      There is nothing more you could have done for him because you did it all! You fought to get medicine for him and they gave it to him. You were by his side through his battle with the beast every step of the way. He was blessed to have you.

      Kellie(from Iowa) Stage IV

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      bill58
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry to hear the news about Will.  You both put up a courageous fight, right up until the end.  You were the best friend and caregiver that Will could have had with him this entire time.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you, your Family and Will's Family at this difficult time.

      You worked tirelessly to get treatment for Will and you helped him considerably during the past year.  Will's pain is now gone and he is in a better place.  We can find comfort in knowing that he is happy and looking down on all of us in our journey with Mel.

      God Bless.

      Bill

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      bill58
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry to hear the news about Will.  You both put up a courageous fight, right up until the end.  You were the best friend and caregiver that Will could have had with him this entire time.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you, your Family and Will's Family at this difficult time.

      You worked tirelessly to get treatment for Will and you helped him considerably during the past year.  Will's pain is now gone and he is in a better place.  We can find comfort in knowing that he is happy and looking down on all of us in our journey with Mel.

      God Bless.

      Bill

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      Jerry from Cape Cod
      Participant

      Lori,

      You gave Will a strong advocate, a ferocious fighter on his behalf, a guide to stand by his side.  I truely believe that Will fought this long and hard because of you.  You are an inspiration to all here and have set an example for each and every one of us.

      As you wrote Will is without pain and overtime your pain will ease and be replaced by warm memories of the better times.

      Love,

      Jerry from Cape Cod

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      Jerry from Cape Cod
      Participant

      Lori,

      You gave Will a strong advocate, a ferocious fighter on his behalf, a guide to stand by his side.  I truely believe that Will fought this long and hard because of you.  You are an inspiration to all here and have set an example for each and every one of us.

      As you wrote Will is without pain and overtime your pain will ease and be replaced by warm memories of the better times.

      Love,

      Jerry from Cape Cod

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      Yawn
      Participant

       

      I understand your pain and loss. All around you you'll see and feel your connection and love with him, and as the pain lifts, you'll find peace.  Peace be with you and with Will. You'll be together again.

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      Yawn
      Participant

       

      I understand your pain and loss. All around you you'll see and feel your connection and love with him, and as the pain lifts, you'll find peace.  Peace be with you and with Will. You'll be together again.

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      Sherron
      Participant

      Lori – I am so sorry for your loss.  I know Will was a dear friend.  You did so much for him, were such a good advocate for him.  You were a terrific friend to him, and Will will always be your heart.  I am glad he is no longer in pain.  May God bless you during this difficult time.

      Take Care,

      Sherron, wife to Jim

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      Sherron
      Participant

      Lori – I am so sorry for your loss.  I know Will was a dear friend.  You did so much for him, were such a good advocate for him.  You were a terrific friend to him, and Will will always be your heart.  I am glad he is no longer in pain.  May God bless you during this difficult time.

      Take Care,

      Sherron, wife to Jim

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      Bonnie Lea
      Participant

      Lori I am so sorry to hear about Will.  Know that you and he shared much.  His memory will continue in your heart and those that knew and loved him.

      Peace to you and yours.

      Bonnie Lea

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      Bonnie Lea
      Participant

      Lori I am so sorry to hear about Will.  Know that you and he shared much.  His memory will continue in your heart and those that knew and loved him.

      Peace to you and yours.

      Bonnie Lea

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      ValinMtl
      Participant

      Oh no, I am so sorry Lori. It was a blessing that you were there to comfort him in the end. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus and at peace. God bless you for all that you did.  Val xx

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      ValinMtl
      Participant

      Oh no, I am so sorry Lori. It was a blessing that you were there to comfort him in the end. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus and at peace. God bless you for all that you did.  Val xx

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      Another Julie
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am very sorry for your loss of your dear friend Will. Reading your posts, it is clear that you did everything you could to help Will find effective treatments for this disease. Having been where you are now with a friend, I can tell you that as hard as we try, it is not always possible to beat it but that diminishes neither your efforts nor Will's. In spite of the odds, and the naysayers you encountered, you maintained hope to be able to do all you could for Will and support him through difficult treatments. Thank you for looking out for Will. You were both fortunate to have shared this friendship. May his memory be a blessing.

      Julie

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      Another Julie
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am very sorry for your loss of your dear friend Will. Reading your posts, it is clear that you did everything you could to help Will find effective treatments for this disease. Having been where you are now with a friend, I can tell you that as hard as we try, it is not always possible to beat it but that diminishes neither your efforts nor Will's. In spite of the odds, and the naysayers you encountered, you maintained hope to be able to do all you could for Will and support him through difficult treatments. Thank you for looking out for Will. You were both fortunate to have shared this friendship. May his memory be a blessing.

      Julie

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      Sharyn
      Participant

      Dear Lori,

      This is indeed a sad day, and my heart is breaking for you. You were such a warrior, fighting on Will's behalf, researching one option after another, fighting for trials and treatment. There is nothing more you could have done. You were both up against a formidible disease, and a slow health system shrouded in rules and time limits. I know you now feel pain and emptiness, but remember you have your memories to treasure, and I hope they will comfort you in your darker moments. You were a wonderful caregiver; Will was so blessed to have you. Please try to stay strong. I wish you nothing but peace and comfort.

      Warm hugs

      Sharyn

      Stage IV 

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      Sharyn
      Participant

      Dear Lori,

      This is indeed a sad day, and my heart is breaking for you. You were such a warrior, fighting on Will's behalf, researching one option after another, fighting for trials and treatment. There is nothing more you could have done. You were both up against a formidible disease, and a slow health system shrouded in rules and time limits. I know you now feel pain and emptiness, but remember you have your memories to treasure, and I hope they will comfort you in your darker moments. You were a wonderful caregiver; Will was so blessed to have you. Please try to stay strong. I wish you nothing but peace and comfort.

      Warm hugs

      Sharyn

      Stage IV 

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      dian in spokane
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry for your loss. Will was so lucky to have someone so very caring and loving in his life. We all know how hard you fought for him.

      I hope you pass through this period of grief without much more pain of your own, and can rejoice in the sweet memories you have of Will during a happier time.

      dian

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        Vermont_Donna
        Participant

        Dear Lori,

           I am SO Sorry to hear that Will has died. You worked so very hard and were a tireless advocate and friend!!!! He had so much care he wouldnt have had if it werent for you! You're an angel. Take time now to grieve….cry, scream, write, but eat, sleep,  and talk…..and take care of your self. YOU have been through much, for months.

        Hugs,

        Vermont_Donna stage 3a

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        Vermont_Donna
        Participant

        Dear Lori,

           I am SO Sorry to hear that Will has died. You worked so very hard and were a tireless advocate and friend!!!! He had so much care he wouldnt have had if it werent for you! You're an angel. Take time now to grieve….cry, scream, write, but eat, sleep,  and talk…..and take care of your self. YOU have been through much, for months.

        Hugs,

        Vermont_Donna stage 3a

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      dian in spokane
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry for your loss. Will was so lucky to have someone so very caring and loving in his life. We all know how hard you fought for him.

      I hope you pass through this period of grief without much more pain of your own, and can rejoice in the sweet memories you have of Will during a happier time.

      dian

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      MichaelFL
      Participant

      I am deeply sorry for Will's passing, and I am glad you were with him, but Lori, don't let the melanoma win against you too. It does not deserve anything more.

      To echo King-you most certaintely did all you could, so don't let the melanoma win with you too because of Will's passing. I have followed your posts, and I know you did all you could as both a friend and caregiver. In my opinion, you even went above and beyond what his own family did for him, and you quite possibly gave him additional time he would not have had otherwise.

      My condolences to you, and his family.

      Michael

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      MichaelFL
      Participant

      I am deeply sorry for Will's passing, and I am glad you were with him, but Lori, don't let the melanoma win against you too. It does not deserve anything more.

      To echo King-you most certaintely did all you could, so don't let the melanoma win with you too because of Will's passing. I have followed your posts, and I know you did all you could as both a friend and caregiver. In my opinion, you even went above and beyond what his own family did for him, and you quite possibly gave him additional time he would not have had otherwise.

      My condolences to you, and his family.

      Michael

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      KatyWI
      Participant

      Oh Lori, crap.  Just crap.  I am crushed to hear this after all the fighting you have done. 

      We should all be as fortunate as Will was to have a friend and advocate like you.

      Be gentle with yourself.

      KatyWI

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      KatyWI
      Participant

      Oh Lori, crap.  Just crap.  I am crushed to hear this after all the fighting you have done. 

      We should all be as fortunate as Will was to have a friend and advocate like you.

      Be gentle with yourself.

      KatyWI

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      EricNJill
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so very sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.  I wish that I could give you a hug. 

      Please know that you did everything you could do.  You were fighting for him.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

      Jill N Eric in OH

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      EricNJill
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so very sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.  I wish that I could give you a hug. 

      Please know that you did everything you could do.  You were fighting for him.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

      Jill N Eric in OH

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      Fen
      Participant

      Oh Lori, I'm so sorry.  You were a wonderful caregiver and made a big difference in Will's life.

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      Fen
      Participant

      Oh Lori, I'm so sorry.  You were a wonderful caregiver and made a big difference in Will's life.

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      Jill and Eric in Fl
      Participant

      I am so sorry, there are no words. Peace and comfort to you and Will's family. Prayers and tears for you in Florida tonight.

      Jill and Eric in Fl

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      Jill and Eric in Fl
      Participant

      I am so sorry, there are no words. Peace and comfort to you and Will's family. Prayers and tears for you in Florida tonight.

      Jill and Eric in Fl

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      Jim M.
      Participant

      Lori,

       I am so sorry for Will's passing. It is completely normal to feel some guilt at this time. When my first wife died in a car crash all I thought about for awhile was what could I have done to prevent it(she was the passenger and my father-in-law drove-it was his fault). I felt I didn't do enough and I surely should have recognized his symptoms of alzheimers. I took me awhile to get over it. I couldn't do anything more to prevent her death and neither could you for Will. You did all you could.

      My point is give yourself permission to grieve the way you need to. I felt like part of me was ripped away and I was left with a gaping hole. It's normal to feel the way you're feeling. I pray that you allow yourself the time you need to grieve. God will be with you every step of the way and guide you.

      In the peace of Christ,

       Jim M.

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      Jim M.
      Participant

      Lori,

       I am so sorry for Will's passing. It is completely normal to feel some guilt at this time. When my first wife died in a car crash all I thought about for awhile was what could I have done to prevent it(she was the passenger and my father-in-law drove-it was his fault). I felt I didn't do enough and I surely should have recognized his symptoms of alzheimers. I took me awhile to get over it. I couldn't do anything more to prevent her death and neither could you for Will. You did all you could.

      My point is give yourself permission to grieve the way you need to. I felt like part of me was ripped away and I was left with a gaping hole. It's normal to feel the way you're feeling. I pray that you allow yourself the time you need to grieve. God will be with you every step of the way and guide you.

      In the peace of Christ,

       Jim M.

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      amybusby
      Participant

      Oh Lori I am so so sorry.  I hope that you know that you did all that you could for him and there is no way he could have hoped to have had a better advocate.  You went far beyond the call of friendship.  I am sorry you lost your friend.  Love, Amy

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      amybusby
      Participant

      Oh Lori I am so so sorry.  I hope that you know that you did all that you could for him and there is no way he could have hoped to have had a better advocate.  You went far beyond the call of friendship.  I am sorry you lost your friend.  Love, Amy

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      Kell
      Participant

      I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom just passed on Saturday from Melanoma. I too wish there was more I could have done. But I guess we just have to know that we did everything we could and it was just their time to go. I won't tell you the pain you are feeling will get better because people tell me that and I'm not so sure at this point. All I can say is I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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      Kell
      Participant

      I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom just passed on Saturday from Melanoma. I too wish there was more I could have done. But I guess we just have to know that we did everything we could and it was just their time to go. I won't tell you the pain you are feeling will get better because people tell me that and I'm not so sure at this point. All I can say is I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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      Lori C
      Participant

      I want to thank you all.  I cannot tell you what your words mean to me, because I know you all understand what Will – and I – have gone through in a way no one else can. 

      He is having a service here in Chicago on Saturday.  I had to write something to say there, and this is what I am going to say:

        

      People are like  letters in the alphabet.  To form words, they need to combine with each other.   When unlikely circumstances brought Will and I together, we formed an intensely close and very profound friendship.  People sometimes commented on what I brought to this friendship but I wanted to make sure everyone who loves him knew what he gave to me.
       
      Will believed that improvement is far more important than perfection, and even when he was so terribly sick and so very tired, he continued to try hard to learn new things and improve his skills.  During his last days in the hospital, he was still working on his vocabulary, still asking what unfamiliar words meant.   He thanked me often;  made sure  I knew he appreciated things I'd done for him, and also let me know about those things I'd done he did not appreciate!  The words, "I love you" and "I'm sorry" came easily to him when he felt them.  The Talmud says "One who endeavors to perfect oneself succeeds"  and despite circumstances that most of us cannot imagine, Willie never stopped trying to make himself and life better.
       
      Up until April of this year, he told me daily that he was thankful that he woke up every morning feeling good.  This was something he told God and his friends he was grateful for.  After April, he was no longer able to say this, and  the quality of  his life had begun slipping away.   So every day, we worked together to find other things he could enjoy and be thankful for, to find a way to  love life despite pain, fear, and uncertainty.    I used to like to quote poetry to him and then we'd talk about what we thought they  meant and these lines were ones that resonated particularly powerfully for both of us, up until the very end of this journey of his:

      "Ring the bells that still can ring

      Forget your perfect offering
      There is a crack in everything
      That's how the light gets in."
       
       Rabbi Luria taught that God created the world by forming vessels to hold the Divine Light. But as God poured the Light into the vessels, they shattered, tumbling down toward the earth, and there they hardened like clay, trapping this light. Humanity’s great task is free the divine light from these shards, restoring the broken light of the divine in the world.  This is the heart of Jewish law, tikkun olam, to repair the world.
       
      William French brought this light into my life every single day I shared with him.  Nothing I could ever do or give to him could come close to repaying the debt I owe him for that.
       
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        KatyWI
        Participant

        Lori, your eulogy is profound and beautiful.  I'm in tears, again.

        KatyWI

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        KatyWI
        Participant

        Lori, your eulogy is profound and beautiful.  I'm in tears, again.

        KatyWI

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      Lori C
      Participant

      I want to thank you all.  I cannot tell you what your words mean to me, because I know you all understand what Will – and I – have gone through in a way no one else can. 

      He is having a service here in Chicago on Saturday.  I had to write something to say there, and this is what I am going to say:

        

      People are like  letters in the alphabet.  To form words, they need to combine with each other.   When unlikely circumstances brought Will and I together, we formed an intensely close and very profound friendship.  People sometimes commented on what I brought to this friendship but I wanted to make sure everyone who loves him knew what he gave to me.
       
      Will believed that improvement is far more important than perfection, and even when he was so terribly sick and so very tired, he continued to try hard to learn new things and improve his skills.  During his last days in the hospital, he was still working on his vocabulary, still asking what unfamiliar words meant.   He thanked me often;  made sure  I knew he appreciated things I'd done for him, and also let me know about those things I'd done he did not appreciate!  The words, "I love you" and "I'm sorry" came easily to him when he felt them.  The Talmud says "One who endeavors to perfect oneself succeeds"  and despite circumstances that most of us cannot imagine, Willie never stopped trying to make himself and life better.
       
      Up until April of this year, he told me daily that he was thankful that he woke up every morning feeling good.  This was something he told God and his friends he was grateful for.  After April, he was no longer able to say this, and  the quality of  his life had begun slipping away.   So every day, we worked together to find other things he could enjoy and be thankful for, to find a way to  love life despite pain, fear, and uncertainty.    I used to like to quote poetry to him and then we'd talk about what we thought they  meant and these lines were ones that resonated particularly powerfully for both of us, up until the very end of this journey of his:

      "Ring the bells that still can ring

      Forget your perfect offering
      There is a crack in everything
      That's how the light gets in."
       
       Rabbi Luria taught that God created the world by forming vessels to hold the Divine Light. But as God poured the Light into the vessels, they shattered, tumbling down toward the earth, and there they hardened like clay, trapping this light. Humanity’s great task is free the divine light from these shards, restoring the broken light of the divine in the world.  This is the heart of Jewish law, tikkun olam, to repair the world.
       
      William French brought this light into my life every single day I shared with him.  Nothing I could ever do or give to him could come close to repaying the debt I owe him for that.
       
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      JuleFL
      Participant

      Oh Lori, I am so very sorry for your loss.  Your posts about you and Will touched me deeply as I went through the melanoma battle with my husband, Cal.  As I have lost him recently I can understand some of your pain.  You were (as I have said before) absolutely amazing as a caregiver and I believe that it is a supreme privelege to be able to assist a person through this most  important  passage.  If you wish, please email me if you would like to talk/vent/cry/whatever.

      God Bless,

      Jule (Cal's wife)

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      JuleFL
      Participant

      Oh Lori, I am so very sorry for your loss.  Your posts about you and Will touched me deeply as I went through the melanoma battle with my husband, Cal.  As I have lost him recently I can understand some of your pain.  You were (as I have said before) absolutely amazing as a caregiver and I believe that it is a supreme privelege to be able to assist a person through this most  important  passage.  If you wish, please email me if you would like to talk/vent/cry/whatever.

      God Bless,

      Jule (Cal's wife)

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      PSD
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry for your loss. You have been an amazing friend for Will supporting him during each struggle. I will keep you and Will in my thoughts and prayers.

      Pamela

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      PSD
      Participant

      Lori,

      I am so sorry for your loss. You have been an amazing friend for Will supporting him during each struggle. I will keep you and Will in my thoughts and prayers.

      Pamela

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      Lori C
      Participant

      I am finding myself wholly bereft in a way that I could not anticipate.  Because Will and I had a rather unique relationship – he was mildly developmentally disabled  and though fiercely independent, did require, especially in the past six months, help that was more typical of that one would give a child, he became, in a very real way, my own child.  Because I was his primary emotional support, best friend, as well as caregiver, I found that every bit of my waking energy and focus was directed towards him; even when I was with other people or doing other things, all my love was going to him all the time.  All my energy and thoughts were on how I could help him better.

      As a result, obviously, large areas of my "previous" life got neglected, and some evaporated.  Whether what I did was right or wrong seems irrelevant – I believed and still do that it was what needed done.  But now I feel like I have been literally ripped in half.  This will take an awful lot of time….

      Here is a link to Will's obituary – I cannot remember if I posted it here or not.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyherald/obituary.aspx?n=william-thanet-french-willie&pid=145823531

      I have no words to thank you all for everything.  If I was able to offer Will hope, it was because of what I found here.

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        yensidw
        Participant

        Dear Lori,

        I am so very sorry to hear of Will's passing.  I recently lost my husband to melanoma and know what you are feeling.  We were not able to have children and so Ron was my life.  And I feel as you do, ripped in half. 

        I will keep you in my prayers, and if you ever want to talk please feel free to email me.

         

        Janis

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        Lori C
        Participant

        Janis and those who said it was okay to email – I'd like to – how do I find the email addresses on this new board?  I am a little foggy brained right now.

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        EricNJill
        Participant

        Lori- Click on the person's name beside the forum topic reply and that should bring you up their profile and if they have an email address you can click the tab that says contact and it should email them.

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        EricNJill
        Participant

        Lori- Click on the person's name beside the forum topic reply and that should bring you up their profile and if they have an email address you can click the tab that says contact and it should email them.

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        JuleFL
        Participant

        Hi Lori, I couldn't find my email in my profile either so here it is [email protected]

        Jule (Cal's wife)

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        JuleFL
        Participant

        Hi Lori, I couldn't find my email in my profile either so here it is [email protected]

        Jule (Cal's wife)

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        Lori C
        Participant

        Janis and those who said it was okay to email – I'd like to – how do I find the email addresses on this new board?  I am a little foggy brained right now.

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        yensidw
        Participant

        Dear Lori,

        I am so very sorry to hear of Will's passing.  I recently lost my husband to melanoma and know what you are feeling.  We were not able to have children and so Ron was my life.  And I feel as you do, ripped in half. 

        I will keep you in my prayers, and if you ever want to talk please feel free to email me.

         

        Janis

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      Lori C
      Participant

      I am finding myself wholly bereft in a way that I could not anticipate.  Because Will and I had a rather unique relationship – he was mildly developmentally disabled  and though fiercely independent, did require, especially in the past six months, help that was more typical of that one would give a child, he became, in a very real way, my own child.  Because I was his primary emotional support, best friend, as well as caregiver, I found that every bit of my waking energy and focus was directed towards him; even when I was with other people or doing other things, all my love was going to him all the time.  All my energy and thoughts were on how I could help him better.

      As a result, obviously, large areas of my "previous" life got neglected, and some evaporated.  Whether what I did was right or wrong seems irrelevant – I believed and still do that it was what needed done.  But now I feel like I have been literally ripped in half.  This will take an awful lot of time….

      Here is a link to Will's obituary – I cannot remember if I posted it here or not.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyherald/obituary.aspx?n=william-thanet-french-willie&pid=145823531

      I have no words to thank you all for everything.  If I was able to offer Will hope, it was because of what I found here.

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      ktkee
      Participant

      Oh, Lori, we all wish we could have a fighter like you in our lives! Will must have had the best, most loving care of anyone I know. You were his hero, through and through. Now it is time for him to rest. Best, AZKate

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      ktkee
      Participant

      Oh, Lori, we all wish we could have a fighter like you in our lives! Will must have had the best, most loving care of anyone I know. You were his hero, through and through. Now it is time for him to rest. Best, AZKate

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      Janet2
      Participant

      Lori,

      I'm sorry to hear about Will — he certainly was a fighter and I'm glad that he had you as such a good carer and for support. I'm sure he appreciated it. I should like to send my condolences to you, Will's family and friends and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

      Janet 

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      Janet2
      Participant

      Lori,

      I'm sorry to hear about Will — he certainly was a fighter and I'm glad that he had you as such a good carer and for support. I'm sure he appreciated it. I should like to send my condolences to you, Will's family and friends and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

      Janet 

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      BarbieGirl
      Participant

      I'm so sorry, Lori.  Praying for you, family and friends during this difficult time.

      ~Lisa~

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      BarbieGirl
      Participant

      I'm so sorry, Lori.  Praying for you, family and friends during this difficult time.

      ~Lisa~

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      acyr
      Participant

      Dear Lori,

      Like so many others I have followed your heart wrenching journey with Will and I cam to admire your persistance and compassion through this agonizing journey.  You were the best for him – one couldn't ask for more caring and support that you provided to him, and I am sure he felt lucky for that.  My sympathy to you and Will,

       

      Annette IIIB – Toronto

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      acyr
      Participant

      Dear Lori,

      Like so many others I have followed your heart wrenching journey with Will and I cam to admire your persistance and compassion through this agonizing journey.  You were the best for him – one couldn't ask for more caring and support that you provided to him, and I am sure he felt lucky for that.  My sympathy to you and Will,

       

      Annette IIIB – Toronto

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      Brandi
      Participant

      I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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      Brandi
      Participant

      I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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      BethA in VA
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss.  Will was very lucky to have you with him throughout his journey.  You did a great job of supporting him and always being there for him.  I hope you have a great deal of support to help you with this loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.   With sympathy, Beth 

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      BethA in VA
      Participant

      Lori, I am so sorry for your loss.  Will was very lucky to have you with him throughout his journey.  You did a great job of supporting him and always being there for him.  I hope you have a great deal of support to help you with this loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.   With sympathy, Beth 

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      JerryfromFauq
      Participant

      My dearest Lori;

           I cannot imagine anyone working harder nor more deligently on behalf of someone.  If many of us had someone with 1/100th of your drive and willingness to push for us we would be very fortunate indeed.  I know that these words do not ease your pain at the loss of Will, but over time the knowledge that you did all that anyone could imagine will be soome solace to you.  My hat has been off to you throughout this long and ardous stuggle.

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      JerryfromFauq
      Participant

      My dearest Lori;

           I cannot imagine anyone working harder nor more deligently on behalf of someone.  If many of us had someone with 1/100th of your drive and willingness to push for us we would be very fortunate indeed.  I know that these words do not ease your pain at the loss of Will, but over time the knowledge that you did all that anyone could imagine will be soome solace to you.  My hat has been off to you throughout this long and ardous stuggle.

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      MaryD
      Participant

      I'm so sorry Lori but Will could not have had a more devoted friend and advocate for you.  Though this is a very painful time for your, Will is at peace, out of pain, and of course, in your heart.

      Sincere condolences,

      Mary

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      MaryD
      Participant

      I'm so sorry Lori but Will could not have had a more devoted friend and advocate for you.  Though this is a very painful time for your, Will is at peace, out of pain, and of course, in your heart.

      Sincere condolences,

      Mary

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The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

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