› Forums › General Melanoma Community › My husband lost his battle
- This topic has 48 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by
KRob.
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- May 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I haven't posted in a while, but wanted to thank everyone that has responded to my posts over the years and for the support I received here.
This was the first websie and bulletin board I found when researching melanoma for my husband almost 10 years ago. It has been very helpful to me.
He lost his battle on Saturday, 5/19 after a courageous journey. He was a true fighter and never gave up hope. I know he's in a better place now — free of pain of this terrible disease.
I pray for all of you battling the disease. Stay strong!
I haven't posted in a while, but wanted to thank everyone that has responded to my posts over the years and for the support I received here.
This was the first websie and bulletin board I found when researching melanoma for my husband almost 10 years ago. It has been very helpful to me.
He lost his battle on Saturday, 5/19 after a courageous journey. He was a true fighter and never gave up hope. I know he's in a better place now — free of pain of this terrible disease.
I pray for all of you battling the disease. Stay strong!
God Bless
Rea Hix
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- May 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I have to post this anonymously, as my husband too lost his battle 21 days ago and could not bring myself to write. I honestly do not know how to handle the recurring thoughts of the suffering that my gentle, sweet, compassionate and strong husband endured. I cannot help but ponder the "what ifs," the lost chances, and blame myself self-destructively every day. for not having been able to keep him alive beyond the nine years that he had this disease, which had penetrated his lymphatic system immediately upon diagnosis due to failure to diagnose immediately. I had spent 24 hours seven days a week with him for the past six months, going to doctor's offices, trying new treatments, and now I have to ask myself who I am because I lost myself in this process. I walk around in such intense pain that nothing – no medications – can alleviate. There has been an eery stillness to the earth since he has departed in physical form, and the quiet — without his beautiful voice – hurts beyond belief. Melanoma is so much more violent than any other cancer yet people think it's just a superficial skin disease. Please tell me caregivers of melanoma loved ones – how do you do it? How do you continue to live? I have children and love them, but I am in such pain that I selfishly look forward to the end.
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- May 24, 2012 at 6:42 pm
First, Rea, my sympathy for your loss and my thanks for your good wishes and encouragement. Second, Anonymous, I am struggling to find the words I want to say to you. I am two years past my diagnosis and on my fifth form of treatment. It has been a fairly easy if unsuccessful journey for me so far, but probably not for my wife of 37+years. If I lose this battle, I don't want her worrying about "what ifs" or feeling like she is lost. I want her to live out a long and happy life. I want her to be strong for my son and I want her to tell my unborn grandchildren about me. Take a message from Rea: Be strong. I hope my inadequate words can be a bit of a hug for you. Dan
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- May 24, 2012 at 6:42 pm
First, Rea, my sympathy for your loss and my thanks for your good wishes and encouragement. Second, Anonymous, I am struggling to find the words I want to say to you. I am two years past my diagnosis and on my fifth form of treatment. It has been a fairly easy if unsuccessful journey for me so far, but probably not for my wife of 37+years. If I lose this battle, I don't want her worrying about "what ifs" or feeling like she is lost. I want her to live out a long and happy life. I want her to be strong for my son and I want her to tell my unborn grandchildren about me. Take a message from Rea: Be strong. I hope my inadequate words can be a bit of a hug for you. Dan
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- May 24, 2012 at 6:42 pm
First, Rea, my sympathy for your loss and my thanks for your good wishes and encouragement. Second, Anonymous, I am struggling to find the words I want to say to you. I am two years past my diagnosis and on my fifth form of treatment. It has been a fairly easy if unsuccessful journey for me so far, but probably not for my wife of 37+years. If I lose this battle, I don't want her worrying about "what ifs" or feeling like she is lost. I want her to live out a long and happy life. I want her to be strong for my son and I want her to tell my unborn grandchildren about me. Take a message from Rea: Be strong. I hope my inadequate words can be a bit of a hug for you. Dan
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- May 24, 2012 at 7:23 pm
I am so sorry to hear the pain from those being left behind. I have been fighting this disease for four years now. My biggest fear was trying to explain to my family how serious this disease is, I actually sent tme to websites like this one to get the best from the best. Having lost my 9 year old sister to am leukemia when I was only 15 myself I remember how hard it was on the care givers side. I actually cried more for what my poor children and husband was going to be exposed to than anything I myself must endure. One of the first things I said to my family wa
Please don,t be afraid of me because you don ,t know what to say I am sure your husband would be so sadden to how you suffer I doubt there is anything you did while you loved and took care of him he wishes you had not I feel for you but others in his life, you mentioned children are also hurting. Try and support one and other as you work through this time of grief. I am praying for you all.
Kathy -
- May 24, 2012 at 7:23 pm
I am so sorry to hear the pain from those being left behind. I have been fighting this disease for four years now. My biggest fear was trying to explain to my family how serious this disease is, I actually sent tme to websites like this one to get the best from the best. Having lost my 9 year old sister to am leukemia when I was only 15 myself I remember how hard it was on the care givers side. I actually cried more for what my poor children and husband was going to be exposed to than anything I myself must endure. One of the first things I said to my family wa
Please don,t be afraid of me because you don ,t know what to say I am sure your husband would be so sadden to how you suffer I doubt there is anything you did while you loved and took care of him he wishes you had not I feel for you but others in his life, you mentioned children are also hurting. Try and support one and other as you work through this time of grief. I am praying for you all.
Kathy -
- May 24, 2012 at 7:23 pm
I am so sorry to hear the pain from those being left behind. I have been fighting this disease for four years now. My biggest fear was trying to explain to my family how serious this disease is, I actually sent tme to websites like this one to get the best from the best. Having lost my 9 year old sister to am leukemia when I was only 15 myself I remember how hard it was on the care givers side. I actually cried more for what my poor children and husband was going to be exposed to than anything I myself must endure. One of the first things I said to my family wa
Please don,t be afraid of me because you don ,t know what to say I am sure your husband would be so sadden to how you suffer I doubt there is anything you did while you loved and took care of him he wishes you had not I feel for you but others in his life, you mentioned children are also hurting. Try and support one and other as you work through this time of grief. I am praying for you all.
Kathy -
- May 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm
record his voice off of his phone and then hae someone or you may can do it….I listen to my husbands voice daily, and touch the screen and I hear him speak, and all the beautiful colors and designs and his voice help me. I usually cry, but still gives me pleasure just hearing his strong voice.
So sorry for your loss….It will be 18 months for me on the 30th that my Jim passed.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- May 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm
record his voice off of his phone and then hae someone or you may can do it….I listen to my husbands voice daily, and touch the screen and I hear him speak, and all the beautiful colors and designs and his voice help me. I usually cry, but still gives me pleasure just hearing his strong voice.
So sorry for your loss….It will be 18 months for me on the 30th that my Jim passed.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- May 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm
record his voice off of his phone and then hae someone or you may can do it….I listen to my husbands voice daily, and touch the screen and I hear him speak, and all the beautiful colors and designs and his voice help me. I usually cry, but still gives me pleasure just hearing his strong voice.
So sorry for your loss….It will be 18 months for me on the 30th that my Jim passed.
Take Care,
Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER
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- May 29, 2012 at 12:10 am
I know it's hard, but your husband would have wanted you to go on and live and be there for your children. I had been with my husband for 31 years. I lost my best friend. The person I spent everyday with and I know how you feel, but he would have wanted me to continue to live. I'ts not easy but I've got to do it. I'm going to join a grief counseling class this week. I think it will help me to talk with others that have experienced a loss. You should look into something similar. I'll pray for you. We need to just take one day at time.
God Bless.
Rea
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- May 29, 2012 at 12:10 am
I know it's hard, but your husband would have wanted you to go on and live and be there for your children. I had been with my husband for 31 years. I lost my best friend. The person I spent everyday with and I know how you feel, but he would have wanted me to continue to live. I'ts not easy but I've got to do it. I'm going to join a grief counseling class this week. I think it will help me to talk with others that have experienced a loss. You should look into something similar. I'll pray for you. We need to just take one day at time.
God Bless.
Rea
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- May 29, 2012 at 12:10 am
I know it's hard, but your husband would have wanted you to go on and live and be there for your children. I had been with my husband for 31 years. I lost my best friend. The person I spent everyday with and I know how you feel, but he would have wanted me to continue to live. I'ts not easy but I've got to do it. I'm going to join a grief counseling class this week. I think it will help me to talk with others that have experienced a loss. You should look into something similar. I'll pray for you. We need to just take one day at time.
God Bless.
Rea
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- May 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I have to post this anonymously, as my husband too lost his battle 21 days ago and could not bring myself to write. I honestly do not know how to handle the recurring thoughts of the suffering that my gentle, sweet, compassionate and strong husband endured. I cannot help but ponder the "what ifs," the lost chances, and blame myself self-destructively every day. for not having been able to keep him alive beyond the nine years that he had this disease, which had penetrated his lymphatic system immediately upon diagnosis due to failure to diagnose immediately. I had spent 24 hours seven days a week with him for the past six months, going to doctor's offices, trying new treatments, and now I have to ask myself who I am because I lost myself in this process. I walk around in such intense pain that nothing – no medications – can alleviate. There has been an eery stillness to the earth since he has departed in physical form, and the quiet — without his beautiful voice – hurts beyond belief. Melanoma is so much more violent than any other cancer yet people think it's just a superficial skin disease. Please tell me caregivers of melanoma loved ones – how do you do it? How do you continue to live? I have children and love them, but I am in such pain that I selfishly look forward to the end.
-
- May 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I have to post this anonymously, as my husband too lost his battle 21 days ago and could not bring myself to write. I honestly do not know how to handle the recurring thoughts of the suffering that my gentle, sweet, compassionate and strong husband endured. I cannot help but ponder the "what ifs," the lost chances, and blame myself self-destructively every day. for not having been able to keep him alive beyond the nine years that he had this disease, which had penetrated his lymphatic system immediately upon diagnosis due to failure to diagnose immediately. I had spent 24 hours seven days a week with him for the past six months, going to doctor's offices, trying new treatments, and now I have to ask myself who I am because I lost myself in this process. I walk around in such intense pain that nothing – no medications – can alleviate. There has been an eery stillness to the earth since he has departed in physical form, and the quiet — without his beautiful voice – hurts beyond belief. Melanoma is so much more violent than any other cancer yet people think it's just a superficial skin disease. Please tell me caregivers of melanoma loved ones – how do you do it? How do you continue to live? I have children and love them, but I am in such pain that I selfishly look forward to the end.
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- May 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I am so sorry for your loss.
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- May 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I am so sorry for your loss.
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- May 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I am so sorry for your loss.
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- May 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Rea, I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for sharing part of his journey with us, I always go back and read people’s profiles, your husband sure gave it a good fight! Now, you need to take care of yourself, and allow the good memories to flood your mind! May your husband rest in peace, and may you feel his presence in your life forever. God bless, Valerie (Phil’s wife) -
- May 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Rea, I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for sharing part of his journey with us, I always go back and read people’s profiles, your husband sure gave it a good fight! Now, you need to take care of yourself, and allow the good memories to flood your mind! May your husband rest in peace, and may you feel his presence in your life forever. God bless, Valerie (Phil’s wife) -
- May 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Rea, I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for sharing part of his journey with us, I always go back and read people’s profiles, your husband sure gave it a good fight! Now, you need to take care of yourself, and allow the good memories to flood your mind! May your husband rest in peace, and may you feel his presence in your life forever. God bless, Valerie (Phil’s wife) -
- May 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm
I am deeply sorry for your loss!
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- May 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm
I am deeply sorry for your loss!
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- May 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm
I am deeply sorry for your loss!
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- May 25, 2012 at 12:01 am
So sorry for your loss.No one can feel the pain you have.Know that he had the best most loving partner in his fight with "C". My prayers go out to you and family.Cherish all the good memories. Al
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- May 25, 2012 at 12:01 am
So sorry for your loss.No one can feel the pain you have.Know that he had the best most loving partner in his fight with "C". My prayers go out to you and family.Cherish all the good memories. Al
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:28 am
I am thinking of you at the very difficult time. I cannot even imagine what you and others are going through when it comes to loosing the love of your life. Without hope I don't think I would cope knowing that I'm going to loose my dad in the near future.
My sincere condolences
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:28 am
I am thinking of you at the very difficult time. I cannot even imagine what you and others are going through when it comes to loosing the love of your life. Without hope I don't think I would cope knowing that I'm going to loose my dad in the near future.
My sincere condolences
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:28 am
I am thinking of you at the very difficult time. I cannot even imagine what you and others are going through when it comes to loosing the love of your life. Without hope I don't think I would cope knowing that I'm going to loose my dad in the near future.
My sincere condolences
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- May 25, 2012 at 12:01 am
So sorry for your loss.No one can feel the pain you have.Know that he had the best most loving partner in his fight with "C". My prayers go out to you and family.Cherish all the good memories. Al
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- May 25, 2012 at 10:48 am
Rea, I am so sorry to read that your husband has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my prayers.
Frank from Australia
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- May 25, 2012 at 10:48 am
Rea, I am so sorry to read that your husband has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my prayers.
Frank from Australia
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- May 25, 2012 at 10:48 am
Rea, I am so sorry to read that your husband has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my prayers.
Frank from Australia
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Sorry for your loss Rea. May the Lord comfort you during this season of grief.
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Sorry for your loss Rea. May the Lord comfort you during this season of grief.
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- May 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Sorry for your loss Rea. May the Lord comfort you during this season of grief.
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