› Forums › Caregiver Community › Bob, The Gambler – May 27th, 2011
- This topic has 38 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 11 months ago by
Sherron.
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- May 28, 2011 at 1:53 am
My husband passed early this morning, May, 27th 2011I want to thank all who gave me support on this discussion board when I needed to vent during the year of Bob’s diagnosis. I have a lot of anger to sort through as caregiver to one beloved husband, father, brother and son who fought this battle with heart. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive melanoma for what it’s done to our family and to the heartfelt stories I have read. If I do nothing else for the rest of my life it will be to tell my husband’s story to anyone who will take the time to listen to me and be warned of it’s horrible dangers.
Diagnosed Father’s Day, 2010, Unknown Primary
Staged at 3
Changed to Stage 4 when 1 tumor was found in Brain in January, 2011
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:01 am
Deb, I am so sorry to hear this hearbreaking news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm hoping you take his mistress out for a spin some time soon, feel the wind in your hair, and hear the laughter as you feel Bob's presence surround you. I. am. so. sorry.
Nic xxx
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:01 am
Deb, I am so sorry to hear this hearbreaking news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm hoping you take his mistress out for a spin some time soon, feel the wind in your hair, and hear the laughter as you feel Bob's presence surround you. I. am. so. sorry.
Nic xxx
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:56 am
Deb,
I'm sorry to learn of Bob's death. Make melanoma pay! I'm sure you will. May God grant you peace and guide your steps.
Grace and peace,
Carol
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:56 am
Deb,
I'm sorry to learn of Bob's death. Make melanoma pay! I'm sure you will. May God grant you peace and guide your steps.
Grace and peace,
Carol
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- May 28, 2011 at 4:41 am
Deb,
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry to hear of Bob's passing and pray that you will be surrounded by love and support for you and your family.
Michelle, wife to Don, Stage IV
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- May 28, 2011 at 4:41 am
Deb,
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry to hear of Bob's passing and pray that you will be surrounded by love and support for you and your family.
Michelle, wife to Don, Stage IV
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- May 28, 2011 at 5:13 am
I am deeply saddened to read of Bob's death. Please accept my sincere condolences.
Frank from Australia
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- May 28, 2011 at 5:13 am
I am deeply saddened to read of Bob's death. Please accept my sincere condolences.
Frank from Australia
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- May 28, 2011 at 11:38 am
Deb-
Please accept my sympathies to you for losing a husband to this miserable disease as well as your family. Just yesterday with your post, I looked into your blog and such and was taken back by his diagnosis of stage 3 ( which I am diagnosed in January ) to where this journey has now taken him. It sickens me. I even posted myself ( for the first time in a while, just because this sickness is just ridiculous and hurts so many)
Being widowed myself ( when i was 29 and pregnant, not from wretched melanoma, from a heart issue ) I have an idea what you must feel right now. Saddness is not even a word that can touch it…I feel for you.
Bob the Gambler is surely watching over you all right now, know he is out of pain and at peace…From what I read, his suffering is now over.
Big hugs to you all.
Kathy
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- May 28, 2011 at 11:38 am
Deb-
Please accept my sympathies to you for losing a husband to this miserable disease as well as your family. Just yesterday with your post, I looked into your blog and such and was taken back by his diagnosis of stage 3 ( which I am diagnosed in January ) to where this journey has now taken him. It sickens me. I even posted myself ( for the first time in a while, just because this sickness is just ridiculous and hurts so many)
Being widowed myself ( when i was 29 and pregnant, not from wretched melanoma, from a heart issue ) I have an idea what you must feel right now. Saddness is not even a word that can touch it…I feel for you.
Bob the Gambler is surely watching over you all right now, know he is out of pain and at peace…From what I read, his suffering is now over.
Big hugs to you all.
Kathy
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- May 28, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Please accept our deepest sympathies and feel the love and prayers surrounding you and your family.
Warm regards,
Kris
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- May 28, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Please accept our deepest sympathies and feel the love and prayers surrounding you and your family.
Warm regards,
Kris
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- May 28, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I'm so very sorry…my heartfelt prayers for you and all who were touched by Bob and shared a piece of his life. I know that there are no words that can sooth the pain you feel. Please know that we continue to be here for you.
Carmon in NM
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- May 28, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I'm so very sorry…my heartfelt prayers for you and all who were touched by Bob and shared a piece of his life. I know that there are no words that can sooth the pain you feel. Please know that we continue to be here for you.
Carmon in NM
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Thank you all for your kind words. As I read your emails this morning, my first morning without my Bob you have given me great comfort. I know it’s hard to know what to say at times but I do feel this is the one place and people in the world that really understands the road we traveled.Even though my daughter lay sleeping once again in my house gives me great comfort the space beside me is no longer filled with the sleeping sounds I have become so familiar with over the last 14 years.
My life is now pushing me forward through a door that I did not want to enter… a future without him. Terrified. Armor Cracked. Unprepared. Eyes Wet. How will I ever fin the “I” in my journey when it’s all been about the “we’?
Thank you,
Deb -
- May 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Thank you all for your kind words. As I read your emails this morning, my first morning without my Bob you have given me great comfort. I know it’s hard to know what to say at times but I do feel this is the one place and people in the world that really understands the road we traveled.Even though my daughter lay sleeping once again in my house gives me great comfort the space beside me is no longer filled with the sleeping sounds I have become so familiar with over the last 14 years.
My life is now pushing me forward through a door that I did not want to enter… a future without him. Terrified. Armor Cracked. Unprepared. Eyes Wet. How will I ever fin the “I” in my journey when it’s all been about the “we’?
Thank you,
Deb -
- May 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. It's been seven months since my own loss and I don't have any answers but believe that our loved ones do stay with us in the most important ways and that's how we get through the "I" versus "We"….Please know you are in my thoughts & prayers.
Lori
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- May 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. It's been seven months since my own loss and I don't have any answers but believe that our loved ones do stay with us in the most important ways and that's how we get through the "I" versus "We"….Please know you are in my thoughts & prayers.
Lori
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- May 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm
i am sorry for you and your family's loss which happened so quickly…
boots
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- May 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm
i am sorry for you and your family's loss which happened so quickly…
boots
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- May 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Dear Deb,
Thank for telling us about Bob's passing in your time of grief. I remember all your posts and how hard he fought…a true melanoma warrior…..may your memories bless you forever…..
You are/were such a loving and faithful caregiver as well. Please remember to take care of yourself. There are many stages to grief and loss…..google Elizabeth Kubler Ross for some help and reminders of those stages.
hugs,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a.
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- May 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Dear Deb,
Thank for telling us about Bob's passing in your time of grief. I remember all your posts and how hard he fought…a true melanoma warrior…..may your memories bless you forever…..
You are/were such a loving and faithful caregiver as well. Please remember to take care of yourself. There are many stages to grief and loss…..google Elizabeth Kubler Ross for some help and reminders of those stages.
hugs,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a.
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- May 29, 2011 at 7:56 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I believe I am in your same situation, with the WBR causing things to go south. I now have embolisms in my lungs that the docs don't know which way to treat; Either way is scary and risky…
Know that God is carrying your family and as you are ready God will release (still guiding you…) and taking care of you. I also have read a great book by Lynn Eibb about When God and Cancer Meet; She has another book I think is When God and Grief Meet.
I hope I am not stepping out of bounds.
Surrounding you and your family with peace, love, light and hope.
Shelly in Switzerland
caringbrigdge/shellypilcher/1
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- May 29, 2011 at 7:56 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I believe I am in your same situation, with the WBR causing things to go south. I now have embolisms in my lungs that the docs don't know which way to treat; Either way is scary and risky…
Know that God is carrying your family and as you are ready God will release (still guiding you…) and taking care of you. I also have read a great book by Lynn Eibb about When God and Cancer Meet; She has another book I think is When God and Grief Meet.
I hope I am not stepping out of bounds.
Surrounding you and your family with peace, love, light and hope.
Shelly in Switzerland
caringbrigdge/shellypilcher/1
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- May 30, 2011 at 2:20 am
Deb,
You always wrote passionately about your husband and his fight. I'm sure you've had (and have) a great love for him. That makes it all the harder to be without him. I had much love and admiration for my first wife who died in 1992 in a car crash when our children were 4 and 2. I felt like someone ripped me apart and I was left with a gaping hole. You're welcome to email me anytime at: [email protected]
I will pray for you during this very difficult time.
In God's strength and peace,
Jim M.
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- May 30, 2011 at 2:20 am
Deb,
You always wrote passionately about your husband and his fight. I'm sure you've had (and have) a great love for him. That makes it all the harder to be without him. I had much love and admiration for my first wife who died in 1992 in a car crash when our children were 4 and 2. I felt like someone ripped me apart and I was left with a gaping hole. You're welcome to email me anytime at: [email protected]
I will pray for you during this very difficult time.
In God's strength and peace,
Jim M.
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- May 30, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I'm so sorry to hear this news about Bob. He was one helluva warrior!!! I will be keeping you and your family in my heart and prayers that you find peace. You will find "you", though it may take some time. You have a "new" normal now, and you will get accustomed to it, though you'll never stop missing Bob. Again, I'm so sorry. *Hugz*
~Lisa~
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- May 30, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I'm so sorry to hear this news about Bob. He was one helluva warrior!!! I will be keeping you and your family in my heart and prayers that you find peace. You will find "you", though it may take some time. You have a "new" normal now, and you will get accustomed to it, though you'll never stop missing Bob. Again, I'm so sorry. *Hugz*
~Lisa~
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- May 31, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Deb, I know well your pain, your disbelieft, the hole in your heart, not knowing what to do next…Take a deep breath….let yourself grieve….the grief is inside….to mourn , is the noise the cry, on the outside. I learned this in grief counseling. I highly recommend it. I am still going through grief and mourning. It is a long, long journey. Moving sometimes only hour to hour, sometimes minutes to minutes…I do not know how I have made it through 6 months without Jim, and being alone for the first time in my life. It is difficult.
My faith in the only way I could make any sense of it. I hate Melanoma…but I refuse to let it rob me of more than what it has already taken from me. Jim lives in my heart and through my children and grandchildren. I feel his presence in our home…I still "we" and "our"….I still feel very married. Jim is apart of who I am and who I will always be. We had 4 days short of 43 years…He is a very intricate part of who I am and who I will continue to be however my life resumes. It is still day to day for me…Somedays are awful, somedays bad, someday okay, somedays numb, still not believing it. It is a process, and I think it will go on for years. Move slow Deb…do not be in a hurry. I still work…busy is good. It gives you a purpose, and you need that. You can call 972-816-3185, facebook message me, or e-mail me [email protected] …I am thinking of you…sending you hugs, love, and prayers. Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER!
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- May 31, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Deb, I know well your pain, your disbelieft, the hole in your heart, not knowing what to do next…Take a deep breath….let yourself grieve….the grief is inside….to mourn , is the noise the cry, on the outside. I learned this in grief counseling. I highly recommend it. I am still going through grief and mourning. It is a long, long journey. Moving sometimes only hour to hour, sometimes minutes to minutes…I do not know how I have made it through 6 months without Jim, and being alone for the first time in my life. It is difficult.
My faith in the only way I could make any sense of it. I hate Melanoma…but I refuse to let it rob me of more than what it has already taken from me. Jim lives in my heart and through my children and grandchildren. I feel his presence in our home…I still "we" and "our"….I still feel very married. Jim is apart of who I am and who I will always be. We had 4 days short of 43 years…He is a very intricate part of who I am and who I will continue to be however my life resumes. It is still day to day for me…Somedays are awful, somedays bad, someday okay, somedays numb, still not believing it. It is a process, and I think it will go on for years. Move slow Deb…do not be in a hurry. I still work…busy is good. It gives you a purpose, and you need that. You can call 972-816-3185, facebook message me, or e-mail me [email protected] …I am thinking of you…sending you hugs, love, and prayers. Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER!
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