Struggles with diagnosis

i don't know anyone can give you what you may be looking for, which is someone to tell you with certainty what will or won't happen, that 100% you'll be ok. . .  for the past year and a half i've searched the internet, done research, obtained 6 different medical opinions. .all in the search of trying to find something that will tell me i'll be ok 100% for certain. . which, of course, nobody can tell me, nobody knows. . .   the statistics are the statistics, but we're all individuals. .  people will say there's risk in everything; driving, walking, etc. . . but that kind of comment doesn't do much to help address specific concerns about a specific disease

i don't know anyone can give you what you may be looking for, which is someone to tell you with certainty what will or won't happen, that 100% you'll be ok. . .  for the past year and a half i've searched the internet, done research, obtained 6 different medical opinions. .all in the search of trying to find something that will tell me i'll be ok 100% for certain. . which, of course, nobody can tell me, nobody knows. . .   the statistics are the statistics, but we're all individuals. .  people will say there's risk in everything; driving, walking, etc. . . but that kind of comment doesn't do much to help address specific concerns about a specific disease

i don't know anyone can give you what you may be looking for, which is someone to tell you with certainty what will or won't happen, that 100% you'll be ok. . .  for the past year and a half i've searched the internet, done research, obtained 6 different medical opinions. .all in the search of trying to find something that will tell me i'll be ok 100% for certain. . which, of course, nobody can tell me, nobody knows. . .   the statistics are the statistics, but we're all individuals. .  people will say there's risk in everything; driving, walking, etc. . . but that kind of comment doesn't do much to help address specific concerns about a specific disease

We all struggle with the same thing to some degree. I did really well until the Christmas season, but I'm getting better again now. I remind myself that most of the statistics are out of date with so many therapies being introduced within the last few years. I also keep reminding myself that TODAY I am alive…. You sound like you're a Christian…do you have kindle?  I'm reading a free kindle book from Amazon called The Ways of God(finding purpose through your pain)  by Cherie Hill.  You might find it helpful….  good luck as you continue on this journey, and I'll be prayin for ya.

We all struggle with the same thing to some degree. I did really well until the Christmas season, but I'm getting better again now. I remind myself that most of the statistics are out of date with so many therapies being introduced within the last few years. I also keep reminding myself that TODAY I am alive…. You sound like you're a Christian…do you have kindle?  I'm reading a free kindle book from Amazon called The Ways of God(finding purpose through your pain)  by Cherie Hill.  You might find it helpful….  good luck as you continue on this journey, and I'll be prayin for ya.

We all struggle with the same thing to some degree. I did really well until the Christmas season, but I'm getting better again now. I remind myself that most of the statistics are out of date with so many therapies being introduced within the last few years. I also keep reminding myself that TODAY I am alive…. You sound like you're a Christian…do you have kindle?  I'm reading a free kindle book from Amazon called The Ways of God(finding purpose through your pain)  by Cherie Hill.  You might find it helpful….  good luck as you continue on this journey, and I'll be prayin for ya.

My suggestion:   go up to that box Search MRF and enter "Stage III roll call"    A roll call of Stage IV survivors comes up first, then look for a Stage III roll call for Mark.   You will find a bunch of encouragement of Stage III survivors.

Karen, all I can say is that it takes time.  A LOT of time.   I was diagnosed Stage III in Feb 2005, WLExcision, SNodeBiopsy showed two nodes with small detection of mel.  Put off the node removal until October 2005 and none of the nodes had melanoma.   May 2008 left breast mastectomy.   NED since.  Never did any adjuvant therapy.   Just surgeries, upping my anti-oxidant food consumption, green tea,  circumin with bioprine is my herb of choice.

Do I panic?  Oh, you betcha!!  Oh boy, do I ever.   BUT, the six months after the appt/scans, I actually learned to relax, let go, and just live, more and more.   It is difficult.   I can't change that for you.   Time will change that for you.   I have just graduated to a one-year check-up.   Am I happy with that?   Initially, no.   I'm going to panic at the six-mnth, lack of appt.  I know me!   Another adjustment.

Advice I garnered from this wonderful group of people:   IF these are truly the last days of your life, are you going to let melanoma also control them to this point of obsessing and taking up that precious time you could spend on something else?

Or, try this:   wallow in it.  Jump in the pity pool.   Suffer,  Look at the internet A LOT.  You're only going to get  yourself deeper in the pool.   Then cry, if that suits you (it suited me), let it out, all out, imagine, "go there"   Then try as hard as  you can to end this method.  Give it it's due, but not days of your life!!

If you feel that pain in your side, your back, your stomach, your leg, your head—-give it five to seven days.   Ok, obviously,if you have severe dibilitating pain you HAVE to call a doctor—I'm talking that nagging, omg is this cancer!???, panic, obsession over some ache/pain.   Thanks (Janner), I now give it seven days and know what?   I tend to forget that I "had" that pain.

Also know that this forum, while so incredibly helpful, can also leave your mind unsettled and, frankly, at times afraid.  I clung to this place, obsessing for hours a day.   I met wonderful people, and at the time, it was helpful for me.   But I had to let go as did many that I "met" here.   This forum is invaluable in the first-hand knowledge we warriors gather, when we need specifics.   But mostly, we have come to learn that our choices are jsut that:  our choices.   There is no right way with dealing with melanoma.   And many, many Stage III melanoma warriors are NOT participants on this board!   The treatments are as varied as the individuals melanoma attacks.

I rambled.   I do take xanax, one-sixth of a daily dose about an hour before my appt for my scan and for the results.  I have never had to take more than that, as that is what works for me.   I got the xanax when I was first diagnosed and was out of emotional control, crying too much.   Nothing makes the scanxiety go away, it just eases it for me.  Trust me saying that you are not alone.   ALL of us have been on that road, at that point where you are.  Good luck and vent here all you want.   We all did at one time or another!

CarolA

My suggestion:   go up to that box Search MRF and enter "Stage III roll call"    A roll call of Stage IV survivors comes up first, then look for a Stage III roll call for Mark.   You will find a bunch of encouragement of Stage III survivors.

Karen, all I can say is that it takes time.  A LOT of time.   I was diagnosed Stage III in Feb 2005, WLExcision, SNodeBiopsy showed two nodes with small detection of mel.  Put off the node removal until October 2005 and none of the nodes had melanoma.   May 2008 left breast mastectomy.   NED since.  Never did any adjuvant therapy.   Just surgeries, upping my anti-oxidant food consumption, green tea,  circumin with bioprine is my herb of choice.

Do I panic?  Oh, you betcha!!  Oh boy, do I ever.   BUT, the six months after the appt/scans, I actually learned to relax, let go, and just live, more and more.   It is difficult.   I can't change that for you.   Time will change that for you.   I have just graduated to a one-year check-up.   Am I happy with that?   Initially, no.   I'm going to panic at the six-mnth, lack of appt.  I know me!   Another adjustment.

Advice I garnered from this wonderful group of people:   IF these are truly the last days of your life, are you going to let melanoma also control them to this point of obsessing and taking up that precious time you could spend on something else?

Or, try this:   wallow in it.  Jump in the pity pool.   Suffer,  Look at the internet A LOT.  You're only going to get  yourself deeper in the pool.   Then cry, if that suits you (it suited me), let it out, all out, imagine, "go there"   Then try as hard as  you can to end this method.  Give it it's due, but not days of your life!!

If you feel that pain in your side, your back, your stomach, your leg, your head—-give it five to seven days.   Ok, obviously,if you have severe dibilitating pain you HAVE to call a doctor—I'm talking that nagging, omg is this cancer!???, panic, obsession over some ache/pain.   Thanks (Janner), I now give it seven days and know what?   I tend to forget that I "had" that pain.

Also know that this forum, while so incredibly helpful, can also leave your mind unsettled and, frankly, at times afraid.  I clung to this place, obsessing for hours a day.   I met wonderful people, and at the time, it was helpful for me.   But I had to let go as did many that I "met" here.   This forum is invaluable in the first-hand knowledge we warriors gather, when we need specifics.   But mostly, we have come to learn that our choices are jsut that:  our choices.   There is no right way with dealing with melanoma.   And many, many Stage III melanoma warriors are NOT participants on this board!   The treatments are as varied as the individuals melanoma attacks.

I rambled.   I do take xanax, one-sixth of a daily dose about an hour before my appt for my scan and for the results.  I have never had to take more than that, as that is what works for me.   I got the xanax when I was first diagnosed and was out of emotional control, crying too much.   Nothing makes the scanxiety go away, it just eases it for me.  Trust me saying that you are not alone.   ALL of us have been on that road, at that point where you are.  Good luck and vent here all you want.   We all did at one time or another!

CarolA

My suggestion:   go up to that box Search MRF and enter "Stage III roll call"    A roll call of Stage IV survivors comes up first, then look for a Stage III roll call for Mark.   You will find a bunch of encouragement of Stage III survivors.

Karen, all I can say is that it takes time.  A LOT of time.   I was diagnosed Stage III in Feb 2005, WLExcision, SNodeBiopsy showed two nodes with small detection of mel.  Put off the node removal until October 2005 and none of the nodes had melanoma.   May 2008 left breast mastectomy.   NED since.  Never did any adjuvant therapy.   Just surgeries, upping my anti-oxidant food consumption, green tea,  circumin with bioprine is my herb of choice.

Do I panic?  Oh, you betcha!!  Oh boy, do I ever.   BUT, the six months after the appt/scans, I actually learned to relax, let go, and just live, more and more.   It is difficult.   I can't change that for you.   Time will change that for you.   I have just graduated to a one-year check-up.   Am I happy with that?   Initially, no.   I'm going to panic at the six-mnth, lack of appt.  I know me!   Another adjustment.

Advice I garnered from this wonderful group of people:   IF these are truly the last days of your life, are you going to let melanoma also control them to this point of obsessing and taking up that precious time you could spend on something else?

Or, try this:   wallow in it.  Jump in the pity pool.   Suffer,  Look at the internet A LOT.  You're only going to get  yourself deeper in the pool.   Then cry, if that suits you (it suited me), let it out, all out, imagine, "go there"   Then try as hard as  you can to end this method.  Give it it's due, but not days of your life!!

If you feel that pain in your side, your back, your stomach, your leg, your head—-give it five to seven days.   Ok, obviously,if you have severe dibilitating pain you HAVE to call a doctor—I'm talking that nagging, omg is this cancer!???, panic, obsession over some ache/pain.   Thanks (Janner), I now give it seven days and know what?   I tend to forget that I "had" that pain.

Also know that this forum, while so incredibly helpful, can also leave your mind unsettled and, frankly, at times afraid.  I clung to this place, obsessing for hours a day.   I met wonderful people, and at the time, it was helpful for me.   But I had to let go as did many that I "met" here.   This forum is invaluable in the first-hand knowledge we warriors gather, when we need specifics.   But mostly, we have come to learn that our choices are jsut that:  our choices.   There is no right way with dealing with melanoma.   And many, many Stage III melanoma warriors are NOT participants on this board!   The treatments are as varied as the individuals melanoma attacks.

I rambled.   I do take xanax, one-sixth of a daily dose about an hour before my appt for my scan and for the results.  I have never had to take more than that, as that is what works for me.   I got the xanax when I was first diagnosed and was out of emotional control, crying too much.   Nothing makes the scanxiety go away, it just eases it for me.  Trust me saying that you are not alone.   ALL of us have been on that road, at that point where you are.  Good luck and vent here all you want.   We all did at one time or another!

CarolA

Hi Karen,

You've been given some really good advice by folks so far. I think everyone feels what you're describing to some extent.

You'll get three month scans for at least a year, or whatever time span the study dictates. They are nerve-wracking for sure, but if something suspicious does pop up then doctors can address it immediately. And, it's not always bad news. Scans are part of your new routine. Eventually you'll move to having them every 6 months and I think that some folks are at the point where they have them yearly.

Also, don't read too much on the Internet. And if curiosity gets the best of you, always check the date of the article and take note of when the statistics were gathered. The statistics cited on a lot of them cover a time period where treatment options were really limited. With more options available, surivior statistics are improving. There are a lot of scary posts on this site, but there also are many that are uplifting and positive.

Unfortunately there are go guarantees for anyone, regardless of whether or not they have melanoma.

Hi Karen,

You've been given some really good advice by folks so far. I think everyone feels what you're describing to some extent.

You'll get three month scans for at least a year, or whatever time span the study dictates. They are nerve-wracking for sure, but if something suspicious does pop up then doctors can address it immediately. And, it's not always bad news. Scans are part of your new routine. Eventually you'll move to having them every 6 months and I think that some folks are at the point where they have them yearly.

Also, don't read too much on the Internet. And if curiosity gets the best of you, always check the date of the article and take note of when the statistics were gathered. The statistics cited on a lot of them cover a time period where treatment options were really limited. With more options available, surivior statistics are improving. There are a lot of scary posts on this site, but there also are many that are uplifting and positive.

Unfortunately there are go guarantees for anyone, regardless of whether or not they have melanoma.

Hi Karen,

You've been given some really good advice by folks so far. I think everyone feels what you're describing to some extent.

You'll get three month scans for at least a year, or whatever time span the study dictates. They are nerve-wracking for sure, but if something suspicious does pop up then doctors can address it immediately. And, it's not always bad news. Scans are part of your new routine. Eventually you'll move to having them every 6 months and I think that some folks are at the point where they have them yearly.

Also, don't read too much on the Internet. And if curiosity gets the best of you, always check the date of the article and take note of when the statistics were gathered. The statistics cited on a lot of them cover a time period where treatment options were really limited. With more options available, surivior statistics are improving. There are a lot of scary posts on this site, but there also are many that are uplifting and positive.

Unfortunately there are go guarantees for anyone, regardless of whether or not they have melanoma.

Karen,

I am stage IIIc (Sep 2012) and also have young children – 3 boys… ages 3, 10, and 11. I can understand the psychological effect and I can say that it is not easy. However, I can say that this disease has given me much more patience and it has taught me to recognize what is truly important in life. I take more time to play with the kids and do things with the family as time allows. I am currently NED as well, and God-willing, I will continue to be for a very long time.

While there are no guarantees in life, there are plenty of long term survivors out there so do not dwell on the statistics. I plan to be one of those long term survivors one day so I can give encouragement to the newly diagnosed. That is not to say I do not have occasional anxiety about the future… that is a normal part of life. Keep your head up and hug the kids a little tighter.   

Kevin

Karen,

I am stage IIIc (Sep 2012) and also have young children – 3 boys… ages 3, 10, and 11. I can understand the psychological effect and I can say that it is not easy. However, I can say that this disease has given me much more patience and it has taught me to recognize what is truly important in life. I take more time to play with the kids and do things with the family as time allows. I am currently NED as well, and God-willing, I will continue to be for a very long time.

While there are no guarantees in life, there are plenty of long term survivors out there so do not dwell on the statistics. I plan to be one of those long term survivors one day so I can give encouragement to the newly diagnosed. That is not to say I do not have occasional anxiety about the future… that is a normal part of life. Keep your head up and hug the kids a little tighter.   

Kevin

Karen,

I am stage IIIc (Sep 2012) and also have young children – 3 boys… ages 3, 10, and 11. I can understand the psychological effect and I can say that it is not easy. However, I can say that this disease has given me much more patience and it has taught me to recognize what is truly important in life. I take more time to play with the kids and do things with the family as time allows. I am currently NED as well, and God-willing, I will continue to be for a very long time.

While there are no guarantees in life, there are plenty of long term survivors out there so do not dwell on the statistics. I plan to be one of those long term survivors one day so I can give encouragement to the newly diagnosed. That is not to say I do not have occasional anxiety about the future… that is a normal part of life. Keep your head up and hug the kids a little tighter.   

Kevin