SharonK

Hi Alicia,

I have no advice on the doctor because I am from Mass. I too have had multiple primaries. You can read my profile for that story. I can understand the black cloud. It is scary. I would see the guy and see if he has anything else to offer you and maybe as a back up plan. If he did and  was not going to differ much from you regular derm I would probably stick with my regular derm.

As long as you trust your derm and he watches you very closely I don't think I would add to my stress level of traveling that far on a regular basis. Your derm seems pretty good to even recommend it.

It is ok to be afraid. Once you get some well checks under your belt and have some distance it does make it easier and the fear eventually subsides a bit. It never totally goes away. I was once like you, I had 2 small babies and was terrified. I kept getting primaries but we kept catching them early and I am still here after 8 primaries and 10 years of ups and downs. Melanoma is no longer the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing at night. I have found a peace about it. I still get worked up and have insomnia for a week before every skin check and while waiting on biopsy resuts etc.. Overall though I am living a good life and melanoma is now on the back burner. Give yourself time it really does make a difference after some has passed.

Best Wishes

Sharon

Hi Alicia,

I have no advice on the doctor because I am from Mass. I too have had multiple primaries. You can read my profile for that story. I can understand the black cloud. It is scary. I would see the guy and see if he has anything else to offer you and maybe as a back up plan. If he did and  was not going to differ much from you regular derm I would probably stick with my regular derm.

As long as you trust your derm and he watches you very closely I don't think I would add to my stress level of traveling that far on a regular basis. Your derm seems pretty good to even recommend it.

It is ok to be afraid. Once you get some well checks under your belt and have some distance it does make it easier and the fear eventually subsides a bit. It never totally goes away. I was once like you, I had 2 small babies and was terrified. I kept getting primaries but we kept catching them early and I am still here after 8 primaries and 10 years of ups and downs. Melanoma is no longer the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing at night. I have found a peace about it. I still get worked up and have insomnia for a week before every skin check and while waiting on biopsy resuts etc.. Overall though I am living a good life and melanoma is now on the back burner. Give yourself time it really does make a difference after some has passed.

Best Wishes

Sharon

Hi Mary, I don't think you are annoying. You sound like a caring friend. I think as long as you present it by first saying "you know you are my friend and I care about you" Your friend will probably take no offense. That being said, if the friend does nothing about it you have to respect their wishes and let it go. The old saying you can lead a horse to water…

I have family members who do not go the derm. I have had 8 primaries and my dad has had ocular mel and my brother a mel also and believe it or not some of my siblings won't go to the derm. I tried at first but eventually I learned to let it go. I can't make them do anything they don't want to. I think it is ok to speak and let someone know your concerns but if they choose to ignore your advice you have to accept that too.

I hope your friend never has to deal with melanoma.

Sharon

Hi Mary, I don't think you are annoying. You sound like a caring friend. I think as long as you present it by first saying "you know you are my friend and I care about you" Your friend will probably take no offense. That being said, if the friend does nothing about it you have to respect their wishes and let it go. The old saying you can lead a horse to water…

I have family members who do not go the derm. I have had 8 primaries and my dad has had ocular mel and my brother a mel also and believe it or not some of my siblings won't go to the derm. I tried at first but eventually I learned to let it go. I can't make them do anything they don't want to. I think it is ok to speak and let someone know your concerns but if they choose to ignore your advice you have to accept that too.

I hope your friend never has to deal with melanoma.

Sharon

It is funny how you can feel such profound sadness over the death of someone you actually never "met". I started coming to this community 6 years ago when melanoma reared its ugly head again. Amy was someone who stood out to me possibly because we are around the same age and both had small children. However, it was probably more because of her way with words. Amy was so to the point and exceedingly bright you couldn't help but be captivated by her posts. 

Today is a joyous day for Amy. I'm positive she is chillin with Jesus. If anybody deserves that it is her. I wish her beautiful family peace and my sincere condolences that this lovely, beautiful,smart and witty woman was taken far too early from them.

Godspeed Amy!

SharonK

It is funny how you can feel such profound sadness over the death of someone you actually never "met". I started coming to this community 6 years ago when melanoma reared its ugly head again. Amy was someone who stood out to me possibly because we are around the same age and both had small children. However, it was probably more because of her way with words. Amy was so to the point and exceedingly bright you couldn't help but be captivated by her posts. 

Today is a joyous day for Amy. I'm positive she is chillin with Jesus. If anybody deserves that it is her. I wish her beautiful family peace and my sincere condolences that this lovely, beautiful,smart and witty woman was taken far too early from them.

Godspeed Amy!

SharonK

Hi Alicia,

Yes, All of my melanomas have been stage 2 or less. I am officially 2b becuase 1 was ulcerated. My onc and Derm both find it odd and fascinating that I make thick melanomas and I have never had a positive node. I had alot of moles. Not too many left because of so many biopsys. My case is similar because I have had some in exisiting moles and some that seem to just pop up and have been amelanotic also. My derm also said he has had other patients with mutiple primaries but not usually thick ones either. I guess we are special 🙂

I know I have a mutation because of the study my derm performed on my family. I believe he is going to write a paper or something on it. He told me off the record they did find the cancer causing gene, It is not a known melanoma gene but rather another gene they know causes other types of cancer but until now,they were not able to connect it to melanoma.  Pretty exciting stuff for a genetics guy. I know he is pleased about it.

Unfortunately, at this time there is no way to prevent us from getting melanomas but to just be watched very closely. I, like you go every 3 months and if anything is supicious it comes off.

Another thing my derm and I talked about was pregnancy because I wanted another baby and he was against it. My melanoma was crazy for a few years after kids and eventually it slowed down to 1 or 2 a year . My last one was 2 years ago.  Even though there are studies that say it has no effect he did not think it wise. It seemed every time we thought about it I would get another one. My husband and I opted to be satisfied with the 2 we had. It was a hard decision but for me personally, I felt I had a responsibility to be here for the babies I already had.

I really hope yours slow down too. I hope you get some peace. The surgeries never bothered me, it was way more the mental side of it. Good Luck.

Sharon

Hi Alicia,

Yes, All of my melanomas have been stage 2 or less. I am officially 2b becuase 1 was ulcerated. My onc and Derm both find it odd and fascinating that I make thick melanomas and I have never had a positive node. I had alot of moles. Not too many left because of so many biopsys. My case is similar because I have had some in exisiting moles and some that seem to just pop up and have been amelanotic also. My derm also said he has had other patients with mutiple primaries but not usually thick ones either. I guess we are special 🙂

I know I have a mutation because of the study my derm performed on my family. I believe he is going to write a paper or something on it. He told me off the record they did find the cancer causing gene, It is not a known melanoma gene but rather another gene they know causes other types of cancer but until now,they were not able to connect it to melanoma.  Pretty exciting stuff for a genetics guy. I know he is pleased about it.

Unfortunately, at this time there is no way to prevent us from getting melanomas but to just be watched very closely. I, like you go every 3 months and if anything is supicious it comes off.

Another thing my derm and I talked about was pregnancy because I wanted another baby and he was against it. My melanoma was crazy for a few years after kids and eventually it slowed down to 1 or 2 a year . My last one was 2 years ago.  Even though there are studies that say it has no effect he did not think it wise. It seemed every time we thought about it I would get another one. My husband and I opted to be satisfied with the 2 we had. It was a hard decision but for me personally, I felt I had a responsibility to be here for the babies I already had.

I really hope yours slow down too. I hope you get some peace. The surgeries never bothered me, it was way more the mental side of it. Good Luck.

Sharon