the struggle of the unknown

I don't have any sage advice and different coping strategies work for different people.  For me, however, mindfulness meditation has made a noticeable difference.  I'd recommend an in-person MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course.  They are offered by many hospitals and universities.

I don't have any sage advice and different coping strategies work for different people.  For me, however, mindfulness meditation has made a noticeable difference.  I'd recommend an in-person MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course.  They are offered by many hospitals and universities.

I don't have any sage advice and different coping strategies work for different people.  For me, however, mindfulness meditation has made a noticeable difference.  I'd recommend an in-person MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course.  They are offered by many hospitals and universities.

Jasmin,

I can empathize with your dilemma. As someone who has gone through the worst of stage IV, but have come through, currently, in complete remission, the concept of "future" has morphed through several iterations. There were times when "future" meant wondering what things were going to be like, times when "future" meant seeing tomorrow morning, times when "future" didn't exist and, now, a time when I am completely redefining "future."

I'm sure you have heard the many variations on the advice to live for today, to be "in the moment," to focus on the present…  All wise words and good advice, but a bunch of B.S. when one is wound tight as a spring and searching for answers. 

The answers will come, in time. But waiting for them to develop is incredibly difficult. 

The only way I have felt any level of peace throughout my ordeal has been to meditate. This doesn't mean one must turn into a reclusive monk. There are many forms of meditation and, if one explores, the right form will be revealed — for both you and your husband. It may be relaxation techniques, it may be mindfulness, it may be prayer, it may be chanting, it may be exercise. Whatever works! Find what works and use it selfishly to gain whatever peace you can under the circumstances.

The answers will reveal themselves.

Keep hope.

DVD

Jasmin,

I can empathize with your dilemma. As someone who has gone through the worst of stage IV, but have come through, currently, in complete remission, the concept of "future" has morphed through several iterations. There were times when "future" meant wondering what things were going to be like, times when "future" meant seeing tomorrow morning, times when "future" didn't exist and, now, a time when I am completely redefining "future."

I'm sure you have heard the many variations on the advice to live for today, to be "in the moment," to focus on the present…  All wise words and good advice, but a bunch of B.S. when one is wound tight as a spring and searching for answers. 

The answers will come, in time. But waiting for them to develop is incredibly difficult. 

The only way I have felt any level of peace throughout my ordeal has been to meditate. This doesn't mean one must turn into a reclusive monk. There are many forms of meditation and, if one explores, the right form will be revealed — for both you and your husband. It may be relaxation techniques, it may be mindfulness, it may be prayer, it may be chanting, it may be exercise. Whatever works! Find what works and use it selfishly to gain whatever peace you can under the circumstances.

The answers will reveal themselves.

Keep hope.

DVD

Jasmin,

I can empathize with your dilemma. As someone who has gone through the worst of stage IV, but have come through, currently, in complete remission, the concept of "future" has morphed through several iterations. There were times when "future" meant wondering what things were going to be like, times when "future" meant seeing tomorrow morning, times when "future" didn't exist and, now, a time when I am completely redefining "future."

I'm sure you have heard the many variations on the advice to live for today, to be "in the moment," to focus on the present…  All wise words and good advice, but a bunch of B.S. when one is wound tight as a spring and searching for answers. 

The answers will come, in time. But waiting for them to develop is incredibly difficult. 

The only way I have felt any level of peace throughout my ordeal has been to meditate. This doesn't mean one must turn into a reclusive monk. There are many forms of meditation and, if one explores, the right form will be revealed — for both you and your husband. It may be relaxation techniques, it may be mindfulness, it may be prayer, it may be chanting, it may be exercise. Whatever works! Find what works and use it selfishly to gain whatever peace you can under the circumstances.

The answers will reveal themselves.

Keep hope.

DVD

I can understand and sympathize with this myself. I am 41 years old and became stage 4 about 15 months ago… seemed like the sky was falling and it was impossible to think about the future. They cut a large tumor out of my small intentine and by the grace of God I have been NED ever since without treatment.

I understand that this could change at any time, but I am very thankful for the state I am in now. Even though the future is uncertain, I still have goals. I want to get my 3 kids through college and then retire to a quiet place near the ocean. If there is any positive side of this disease, it has taught me what is important in life. I work to live and not the other way around. I want to enjoy time with family and friends. I used to want that fancy car and that really nice house but now I know that is unimportant.

So the only advice I can offer is to enjoy the moment but continue to plan for the future. And it can still be a bright future. None of us know. Don't sweat the small stuff and prioritize what is really important to you. Hang in there.

Kevin

I can understand and sympathize with this myself. I am 41 years old and became stage 4 about 15 months ago… seemed like the sky was falling and it was impossible to think about the future. They cut a large tumor out of my small intentine and by the grace of God I have been NED ever since without treatment.

I understand that this could change at any time, but I am very thankful for the state I am in now. Even though the future is uncertain, I still have goals. I want to get my 3 kids through college and then retire to a quiet place near the ocean. If there is any positive side of this disease, it has taught me what is important in life. I work to live and not the other way around. I want to enjoy time with family and friends. I used to want that fancy car and that really nice house but now I know that is unimportant.

So the only advice I can offer is to enjoy the moment but continue to plan for the future. And it can still be a bright future. None of us know. Don't sweat the small stuff and prioritize what is really important to you. Hang in there.

Kevin

I can understand and sympathize with this myself. I am 41 years old and became stage 4 about 15 months ago… seemed like the sky was falling and it was impossible to think about the future. They cut a large tumor out of my small intentine and by the grace of God I have been NED ever since without treatment.

I understand that this could change at any time, but I am very thankful for the state I am in now. Even though the future is uncertain, I still have goals. I want to get my 3 kids through college and then retire to a quiet place near the ocean. If there is any positive side of this disease, it has taught me what is important in life. I work to live and not the other way around. I want to enjoy time with family and friends. I used to want that fancy car and that really nice house but now I know that is unimportant.

So the only advice I can offer is to enjoy the moment but continue to plan for the future. And it can still be a bright future. None of us know. Don't sweat the small stuff and prioritize what is really important to you. Hang in there.

Kevin