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a story of comfort
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a story of comfort

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › a story of comfort

  • Post
    • October 24, 2012 at 6:22 am
    himynameiskevin
    Participant

      hiMyNameIsBrenda and im kevin's wife.

      hiMyNameIsBrenda and im kevin's wife.

      I wanted to write to you all and share a moment of love that i had recently. Most of you know kevin went home to the angels on 9/30. Well, i've been like a roller coaster lately with my emotions, and about two days ago i broke down. I was lying on my side in our bed staring at a picture of kevin. All the typical questions were running through my mind, "why didnt treatment work?" "How am i supposed to live life with out you", and i found myself apologizing to him, because he was strong during the two years he dealt with this disease, and if he could be strong then i could be strong too. I kept asking him if his spirit  was still with me even though i couldnt physically see him. and then the most wonderful thing happened.

      I gave kevin a dream catcher some time ago to help with his nightmares. I have it hanging from the fan. The fan wasnt on and the one window in our bedroom is boarded up. But the dream catcher was spinning uncontrollably, as i stared at it, it came to a slow stop. And i knew, he was answering my question. He is still with me and always will be.

      Was it him? who know for sure. but i choose to believe it was a love sign from him to me.

      So i decided to share this story because this disease is cruel and has taken many of our loved ones, and although it takes their physical body it doesnt take their spirit. Kevin is still here, and he showed me that day.

      I also want to sharer a song with you all. Kevin had a favorite band called WHY? and he had a special relationship with them, so much that they wrote a song about him. That was the kind of influential person kevin was, to have a famous music group write a song about him, well he was just lucky that way, so here it is….just copy and paste this          http://vimeo.com/49735160

      i just want to remind all of you that there is always HOPE. and everything will always be okay. love your loved ones unconditionally and remind yourselves that you are STRONG, can and will get through this. I know at times you'll feel lost, but nothing is ever really lost, and you'll find your way soon enough…

      with that, i send you all love and healing vibes.

    Viewing 26 reply threads
    • Replies
        • October 24, 2012 at 11:03 am
        MeNDave
        Participant

          Hi Brenda,

          I'm glad to see you post and see that you're dealing with everything OK.  I also had a moment like that after David passed, but for me it was a windchime on my front porch.  It really brought me peace, knowing he'll always be with me.

          You're right, this is a cruel disease that has taken so much from so many.  Just keep smiling –

          Hugs,

          Maria

          • October 24, 2012 at 11:03 am
          MeNDave
          Participant

            Hi Brenda,

            I'm glad to see you post and see that you're dealing with everything OK.  I also had a moment like that after David passed, but for me it was a windchime on my front porch.  It really brought me peace, knowing he'll always be with me.

            You're right, this is a cruel disease that has taken so much from so many.  Just keep smiling –

            Hugs,

            Maria

            • October 24, 2012 at 11:03 am
            MeNDave
            Participant

              Hi Brenda,

              I'm glad to see you post and see that you're dealing with everything OK.  I also had a moment like that after David passed, but for me it was a windchime on my front porch.  It really brought me peace, knowing he'll always be with me.

              You're right, this is a cruel disease that has taken so much from so many.  Just keep smiling –

              Hugs,

              Maria

              • October 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
              Lori C
              Participant

                Thank you for sharing this Brenda.  I have also had moments like you described, where amazing things happened – one of them just last week, though it's been two years since I lost Will.  Surely unconditional love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

                Lori

                  • October 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
                  Laurie from maine
                  Participant

                    Hi Brenda,

                    You and kevin are very dear to all of us.  I love that your wrote himynameisbrenda just like he did

                    I am a true believer that a persons spirit/soul can reach you from heaven and that they can be there for you when you need it most.  As strong as Kevin was I am sure he is making sure he is watching over you.  Dont you ever question how strong you are, you both wen thru that together -you both are warriors.  I am hoping that you are finding moments of peace thru all of this.

                    take care and thank you for sharing  I loved that the band embraced kevin and wrote a song about him, thank you for sharing that also

                    laurie from maine

                    • October 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
                    Laurie from maine
                    Participant

                      Hi Brenda,

                      You and kevin are very dear to all of us.  I love that your wrote himynameisbrenda just like he did

                      I am a true believer that a persons spirit/soul can reach you from heaven and that they can be there for you when you need it most.  As strong as Kevin was I am sure he is making sure he is watching over you.  Dont you ever question how strong you are, you both wen thru that together -you both are warriors.  I am hoping that you are finding moments of peace thru all of this.

                      take care and thank you for sharing  I loved that the band embraced kevin and wrote a song about him, thank you for sharing that also

                      laurie from maine

                      • October 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
                      Laurie from maine
                      Participant

                        Hi Brenda,

                        You and kevin are very dear to all of us.  I love that your wrote himynameisbrenda just like he did

                        I am a true believer that a persons spirit/soul can reach you from heaven and that they can be there for you when you need it most.  As strong as Kevin was I am sure he is making sure he is watching over you.  Dont you ever question how strong you are, you both wen thru that together -you both are warriors.  I am hoping that you are finding moments of peace thru all of this.

                        take care and thank you for sharing  I loved that the band embraced kevin and wrote a song about him, thank you for sharing that also

                        laurie from maine

                      • October 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
                      Lori C
                      Participant

                        Thank you for sharing this Brenda.  I have also had moments like you described, where amazing things happened – one of them just last week, though it's been two years since I lost Will.  Surely unconditional love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

                        Lori

                        • October 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
                        Lori C
                        Participant

                          Thank you for sharing this Brenda.  I have also had moments like you described, where amazing things happened – one of them just last week, though it's been two years since I lost Will.  Surely unconditional love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

                          Lori

                          • October 24, 2012 at 1:16 pm
                          Linny
                          Participant

                            Brenda, thank you for sharing that with us. My personal belief is that it was Kevin letting you know he's still with you. What a wonderful gift he gave you by doing that! How fortunate for you that you just happened to look up at that dream catcher at precisely the right moment. smiley

                            • October 24, 2012 at 1:16 pm
                            Linny
                            Participant

                              Brenda, thank you for sharing that with us. My personal belief is that it was Kevin letting you know he's still with you. What a wonderful gift he gave you by doing that! How fortunate for you that you just happened to look up at that dream catcher at precisely the right moment. smiley

                              • October 24, 2012 at 1:16 pm
                              Linny
                              Participant

                                Brenda, thank you for sharing that with us. My personal belief is that it was Kevin letting you know he's still with you. What a wonderful gift he gave you by doing that! How fortunate for you that you just happened to look up at that dream catcher at precisely the right moment. smiley

                                • October 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
                                POW
                                Participant

                                  Thank you, Brenda, for staying here with us. So many people seem to think that when our loved ones pass, that means "The End" for us caregivers. But it's not– not by a long shot. Your warmth and generousity in checking back in with us from time to time to share your continuing experiences is a very important and valuable contribution to the whole melanoma experience. You are picking up the torch and continuing what Kevin so generously started. Thank you.

                                  I was very moved by your story about the dream catcher.  I most certainly do believe that that was Kevin reaching out to you. Your love for each other must have been very strong! The dream catcher reminded me of a wonderful letter that was a highlight of Ken Burns' film "The Civil War". The letter was written by Sullivan Ballou to his wife, Sarah. Part of the letter goes: "But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again."

                                  You can hear the whole letter as it was recited in the Burns film on YouTube at

                                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3F5RT0_K5M  You and Kevin must be a lot like Sullivan and Sarah.

                                  • October 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
                                  POW
                                  Participant

                                    Thank you, Brenda, for staying here with us. So many people seem to think that when our loved ones pass, that means "The End" for us caregivers. But it's not– not by a long shot. Your warmth and generousity in checking back in with us from time to time to share your continuing experiences is a very important and valuable contribution to the whole melanoma experience. You are picking up the torch and continuing what Kevin so generously started. Thank you.

                                    I was very moved by your story about the dream catcher.  I most certainly do believe that that was Kevin reaching out to you. Your love for each other must have been very strong! The dream catcher reminded me of a wonderful letter that was a highlight of Ken Burns' film "The Civil War". The letter was written by Sullivan Ballou to his wife, Sarah. Part of the letter goes: "But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again."

                                    You can hear the whole letter as it was recited in the Burns film on YouTube at

                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3F5RT0_K5M  You and Kevin must be a lot like Sullivan and Sarah.

                                    • October 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
                                    POW
                                    Participant

                                      Thank you, Brenda, for staying here with us. So many people seem to think that when our loved ones pass, that means "The End" for us caregivers. But it's not– not by a long shot. Your warmth and generousity in checking back in with us from time to time to share your continuing experiences is a very important and valuable contribution to the whole melanoma experience. You are picking up the torch and continuing what Kevin so generously started. Thank you.

                                      I was very moved by your story about the dream catcher.  I most certainly do believe that that was Kevin reaching out to you. Your love for each other must have been very strong! The dream catcher reminded me of a wonderful letter that was a highlight of Ken Burns' film "The Civil War". The letter was written by Sullivan Ballou to his wife, Sarah. Part of the letter goes: "But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again."

                                      You can hear the whole letter as it was recited in the Burns film on YouTube at

                                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3F5RT0_K5M  You and Kevin must be a lot like Sullivan and Sarah.

                                      • October 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
                                      Sherron
                                      Participant

                                        Hi Brenda – I know your pain, your hurt, your loss of knowing how to go on….It's one day at a time.  I like you have had many moments of things happening.  He's there….Jim is still with me…He passed away on Nov 30, 2010…nearly 2 years ago, but I know he is here by things that happen.  Let this give you comfort Brenda.  You will be in my prayers.

                                        It is a very hard journey, whether you are old or young.  Jim and I were married 42 years…He passed away 4 days before our 43rd anniversary….He is still with me……Kevin is there…..Look for him…He is definitely in your heart, and he will surprise you from time to time.  He is watching over you.

                                        Take Care,

                                        Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER

                                        • October 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
                                        Sherron
                                        Participant

                                          Hi Brenda – I know your pain, your hurt, your loss of knowing how to go on….It's one day at a time.  I like you have had many moments of things happening.  He's there….Jim is still with me…He passed away on Nov 30, 2010…nearly 2 years ago, but I know he is here by things that happen.  Let this give you comfort Brenda.  You will be in my prayers.

                                          It is a very hard journey, whether you are old or young.  Jim and I were married 42 years…He passed away 4 days before our 43rd anniversary….He is still with me……Kevin is there…..Look for him…He is definitely in your heart, and he will surprise you from time to time.  He is watching over you.

                                          Take Care,

                                          Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER

                                          • October 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
                                          Sherron
                                          Participant

                                            Hi Brenda – I know your pain, your hurt, your loss of knowing how to go on….It's one day at a time.  I like you have had many moments of things happening.  He's there….Jim is still with me…He passed away on Nov 30, 2010…nearly 2 years ago, but I know he is here by things that happen.  Let this give you comfort Brenda.  You will be in my prayers.

                                            It is a very hard journey, whether you are old or young.  Jim and I were married 42 years…He passed away 4 days before our 43rd anniversary….He is still with me……Kevin is there…..Look for him…He is definitely in your heart, and he will surprise you from time to time.  He is watching over you.

                                            Take Care,

                                            Sherron, wife to Jim FOREVER

                                            • October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm
                                            washoegal
                                            Participant

                                              Brenda,

                                              What a beautiful story.  Thank-you for sharing with us.  Yes, Kevin is with you.  In some form he will always be with you. 

                                              Stay stong,

                                              Mary

                                              • October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm
                                              washoegal
                                              Participant

                                                Brenda,

                                                What a beautiful story.  Thank-you for sharing with us.  Yes, Kevin is with you.  In some form he will always be with you. 

                                                Stay stong,

                                                Mary

                                                • October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm
                                                washoegal
                                                Participant

                                                  Brenda,

                                                  What a beautiful story.  Thank-you for sharing with us.  Yes, Kevin is with you.  In some form he will always be with you. 

                                                  Stay stong,

                                                  Mary

                                                  • October 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm
                                                  hope4cure1
                                                  Participant

                                                    That is beautiful,Brenda. No question that this was Kevin's way of letting you know that he is by your side.  I don't believe that love dies.  It lives, Brenda, and you just had proof of that.  I hope Kevin's messages come to you often!

                                                    Hope

                                                    • October 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm
                                                    hope4cure1
                                                    Participant

                                                      That is beautiful,Brenda. No question that this was Kevin's way of letting you know that he is by your side.  I don't believe that love dies.  It lives, Brenda, and you just had proof of that.  I hope Kevin's messages come to you often!

                                                      Hope

                                                      • October 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm
                                                      hope4cure1
                                                      Participant

                                                        That is beautiful,Brenda. No question that this was Kevin's way of letting you know that he is by your side.  I don't believe that love dies.  It lives, Brenda, and you just had proof of that.  I hope Kevin's messages come to you often!

                                                        Hope

                                                        • October 25, 2012 at 12:21 am
                                                        jcmp
                                                        Participant

                                                          Hi Brenda,

                                                           

                                                          I am so glad that you posted about this.  Kevin lives!  And, his strength continues for you. 

                                                           

                                                          • October 25, 2012 at 12:21 am
                                                          jcmp
                                                          Participant

                                                            Hi Brenda,

                                                             

                                                            I am so glad that you posted about this.  Kevin lives!  And, his strength continues for you. 

                                                             

                                                            • October 25, 2012 at 12:21 am
                                                            jcmp
                                                            Participant

                                                              Hi Brenda,

                                                               

                                                              I am so glad that you posted about this.  Kevin lives!  And, his strength continues for you. 

                                                               

                                                              • October 25, 2012 at 1:14 am
                                                              o2bcheri
                                                              Participant

                                                                Hi Sweetie,

                                                                 

                                                                Big hugs.. can only imagine how hard i is for you without Kevin being in your sight..

                                                                 

                                                                but.. i fully believe he is with you in spirit…  i know it…

                                                                 

                                                                i watch all those shows about the mediums.. and if you are not watching them.. please do.. they will make you know wihtout a shred of doubt that Kevin is right there.. he can see you.. hear you and send you messages like he did with the dream catcher…, so so sweet…

                                                                 

                                                                there is a medium named Lisa williams.. you can find her on youtube or the internet.. she is AMAZING.. see if you can find some of her past shows.. don't think she is on tv anymore.. but she is the best that i have ever seen.. downright proves that the spirits are with us..

                                                                there is also a new one.. the long island medium that is on tv now every week…, not sure of the channel.. but if you google it.. you will find out…

                                                                 

                                                                check them out..  think they will make you feel better..

                                                                 

                                                                XXXX keep strong…

                                                                • October 25, 2012 at 1:14 am
                                                                o2bcheri
                                                                Participant

                                                                  Hi Sweetie,

                                                                   

                                                                  Big hugs.. can only imagine how hard i is for you without Kevin being in your sight..

                                                                   

                                                                  but.. i fully believe he is with you in spirit…  i know it…

                                                                   

                                                                  i watch all those shows about the mediums.. and if you are not watching them.. please do.. they will make you know wihtout a shred of doubt that Kevin is right there.. he can see you.. hear you and send you messages like he did with the dream catcher…, so so sweet…

                                                                   

                                                                  there is a medium named Lisa williams.. you can find her on youtube or the internet.. she is AMAZING.. see if you can find some of her past shows.. don't think she is on tv anymore.. but she is the best that i have ever seen.. downright proves that the spirits are with us..

                                                                  there is also a new one.. the long island medium that is on tv now every week…, not sure of the channel.. but if you google it.. you will find out…

                                                                   

                                                                  check them out..  think they will make you feel better..

                                                                   

                                                                  XXXX keep strong…

                                                                  • October 25, 2012 at 1:14 am
                                                                  o2bcheri
                                                                  Participant

                                                                    Hi Sweetie,

                                                                     

                                                                    Big hugs.. can only imagine how hard i is for you without Kevin being in your sight..

                                                                     

                                                                    but.. i fully believe he is with you in spirit…  i know it…

                                                                     

                                                                    i watch all those shows about the mediums.. and if you are not watching them.. please do.. they will make you know wihtout a shred of doubt that Kevin is right there.. he can see you.. hear you and send you messages like he did with the dream catcher…, so so sweet…

                                                                     

                                                                    there is a medium named Lisa williams.. you can find her on youtube or the internet.. she is AMAZING.. see if you can find some of her past shows.. don't think she is on tv anymore.. but she is the best that i have ever seen.. downright proves that the spirits are with us..

                                                                    there is also a new one.. the long island medium that is on tv now every week…, not sure of the channel.. but if you google it.. you will find out…

                                                                     

                                                                    check them out..  think they will make you feel better..

                                                                     

                                                                    XXXX keep strong…

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