Sometimes I just don’t Get it
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Sometimes I just don’t Get it

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Sometimes I just don’t Get it

  • Post
    • February 1, 2012 at 1:47 am
    Charlie S
    Participant

    For the supposed road to happines, with a wedding, it is something new, something borrowed and something blue; with melanoma it is scans of nothing bigger, nothing smaller and nothing new.

    No, I'm not getting married, but I sooooooooooo want to divorce myself from melanoma; but it always bites me in the ass with symtoms anew, a treatment borrowed and certainly a sky that is blue as it drapes a similar cloud over my mind.

    For the supposed road to happines, with a wedding, it is something new, something borrowed and something blue; with melanoma it is scans of nothing bigger, nothing smaller and nothing new.

    No, I'm not getting married, but I sooooooooooo want to divorce myself from melanoma; but it always bites me in the ass with symtoms anew, a treatment borrowed and certainly a sky that is blue as it drapes a similar cloud over my mind.

    I never wanted to marry melanoma, it was a forced marriage. Even worse, it is not clear to me that this forced marriage was a man or a woman or maybe just an entity.  My mind tells me it was the latter, but oddly it has been my constant mistress, prodding me for constant intimacy, demanding that I look at her, pay attention to her, touch her and feel her and feel the wrath if I dare look the other way and shun her glance.

    Or it could be a man disease that seeks my attention and wants to punish me for inattention and seeks revenge on my body as a result.

    Either way, I just don't get it. 

    No, I'm not having sexual orientation issues, but as I approach a milestone in my life; I have to say, as far as melanoma is concerned………….I still don't get it……and that, to me is the lesson and what is to be learned.

     

    Cheers,

    Charlie S

     

     

     

     

Viewing 35 reply threads
  • Replies
      • February 1, 2012 at 2:18 am
      lhaley
      Participant

      I knew you had been too quiet recently. 

      There are many marraiges out there that just stay together for the children sake.  That seems to be your issue. Those kids just won't leave you alone!   I hope you can find a nice good timeout for them.

      Do you have any appointments in Charlotte in this week?   We arrive on Thursday and surgery (crainectomy) is Friday. If your going to be there let me know! I am so ready to get rid of this edema and move on with my marriage to melanoma and kick it to the street.

      cyber hugs,

      linda

      • February 1, 2012 at 2:18 am
      lhaley
      Participant

      I knew you had been too quiet recently. 

      There are many marraiges out there that just stay together for the children sake.  That seems to be your issue. Those kids just won't leave you alone!   I hope you can find a nice good timeout for them.

      Do you have any appointments in Charlotte in this week?   We arrive on Thursday and surgery (crainectomy) is Friday. If your going to be there let me know! I am so ready to get rid of this edema and move on with my marriage to melanoma and kick it to the street.

      cyber hugs,

      linda

      • February 1, 2012 at 2:18 am
      lhaley
      Participant

      I knew you had been too quiet recently. 

      There are many marraiges out there that just stay together for the children sake.  That seems to be your issue. Those kids just won't leave you alone!   I hope you can find a nice good timeout for them.

      Do you have any appointments in Charlotte in this week?   We arrive on Thursday and surgery (crainectomy) is Friday. If your going to be there let me know! I am so ready to get rid of this edema and move on with my marriage to melanoma and kick it to the street.

      cyber hugs,

      linda

      • February 1, 2012 at 2:55 am
      glewis923
      Participant

      learning that there's somethings in life that cannot be learned is the hardest lesson to learn….. no matter how earnestly you  yearn to earn the learn.  Just don't urn me yet…….i must, as we all, complete the canvass and try to at least learn the "Art of Dying", before the paint completely dries and becomes brittled and cracked.  Ultimately we must all realize we are all unfinished pieces of a grand tapestry of God's masterpiece….the Eternal Soul.

      • February 1, 2012 at 2:55 am
      glewis923
      Participant

      learning that there's somethings in life that cannot be learned is the hardest lesson to learn….. no matter how earnestly you  yearn to earn the learn.  Just don't urn me yet…….i must, as we all, complete the canvass and try to at least learn the "Art of Dying", before the paint completely dries and becomes brittled and cracked.  Ultimately we must all realize we are all unfinished pieces of a grand tapestry of God's masterpiece….the Eternal Soul.

      • February 1, 2012 at 2:55 am
      glewis923
      Participant

      learning that there's somethings in life that cannot be learned is the hardest lesson to learn….. no matter how earnestly you  yearn to earn the learn.  Just don't urn me yet…….i must, as we all, complete the canvass and try to at least learn the "Art of Dying", before the paint completely dries and becomes brittled and cracked.  Ultimately we must all realize we are all unfinished pieces of a grand tapestry of God's masterpiece….the Eternal Soul.

      • February 1, 2012 at 3:05 am
      jag
      Participant

      Think Medusa Charlie, shine a mirror on her when she looks at you.

      • February 1, 2012 at 3:05 am
      jag
      Participant

      Think Medusa Charlie, shine a mirror on her when she looks at you.

      • February 1, 2012 at 3:05 am
      jag
      Participant

      Think Medusa Charlie, shine a mirror on her when she looks at you.

      • February 1, 2012 at 4:08 am
      hope4cure1
      Participant

      Charlie, well said, well written.

      Oh, and jag, you get the quote of the day award!!!!

      • February 1, 2012 at 4:08 am
      hope4cure1
      Participant

      Charlie, well said, well written.

      Oh, and jag, you get the quote of the day award!!!!

      • February 1, 2012 at 4:08 am
      hope4cure1
      Participant

      Charlie, well said, well written.

      Oh, and jag, you get the quote of the day award!!!!

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:13 am
      KellieSue
      Participant
      Once again you are able to say things that I’m thinking. and i totally don’t get melanoma.

      kellie( from iowa)

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:13 am
      KellieSue
      Participant
      Once again you are able to say things that I’m thinking. and i totally don’t get melanoma.

      kellie( from iowa)

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:13 am
      KellieSue
      Participant
      Once again you are able to say things that I’m thinking. and i totally don’t get melanoma.

      kellie( from iowa)

      • February 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm
      Lori C
      Participant

      Charlie, I was re-reading Randy Shilts book yesterday – 'And the Band Played On" – and came across this quote: "A Microscopic junta had grabbed control of his body and he was under its command".  And I thought about how many times Will would tell me, "I'm so tired of having cancer…." and how shang-hied he felt, pressed into service in a war he hadn't volunteered for. 

      If you are ever in the Chicago are, I'd sure love to see you and talk.  And you are in my thoughts.

      Lori

      • February 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm
      Lori C
      Participant

      Charlie, I was re-reading Randy Shilts book yesterday – 'And the Band Played On" – and came across this quote: "A Microscopic junta had grabbed control of his body and he was under its command".  And I thought about how many times Will would tell me, "I'm so tired of having cancer…." and how shang-hied he felt, pressed into service in a war he hadn't volunteered for. 

      If you are ever in the Chicago are, I'd sure love to see you and talk.  And you are in my thoughts.

      Lori

      • February 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm
      Lori C
      Participant

      Charlie, I was re-reading Randy Shilts book yesterday – 'And the Band Played On" – and came across this quote: "A Microscopic junta had grabbed control of his body and he was under its command".  And I thought about how many times Will would tell me, "I'm so tired of having cancer…." and how shang-hied he felt, pressed into service in a war he hadn't volunteered for. 

      If you are ever in the Chicago are, I'd sure love to see you and talk.  And you are in my thoughts.

      Lori

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm
      djpayn
      Participant

      Charlie, 

      thats the best way i have ever heard this described.

       

      on a side note to your post…. i miss you.  big hugs to you!!!

       

      dawna

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm
      djpayn
      Participant

      Charlie, 

      thats the best way i have ever heard this described.

       

      on a side note to your post…. i miss you.  big hugs to you!!!

       

      dawna

      • February 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm
      djpayn
      Participant

      Charlie, 

      thats the best way i have ever heard this described.

       

      on a side note to your post…. i miss you.  big hugs to you!!!

       

      dawna

      • February 1, 2012 at 10:13 pm
      James from Sydney
      Participant

      Hey Charlie

      'to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse'  You have turned this into a chronic disease maybe the fact that it keeps pecking at you is a sign that it wants to know how you have outlasted most marriages with Mel. I'm sure you'd make a great husband but it probably wants a break too. 

      Have you had your Tumor samples tested to see what your doing on a cellular level. I often wonder whether researchers ever look at at long time survivors and see if there is anything common amongst their Genome.

      cheers James

      • February 1, 2012 at 10:13 pm
      James from Sydney
      Participant

      Hey Charlie

      'to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse'  You have turned this into a chronic disease maybe the fact that it keeps pecking at you is a sign that it wants to know how you have outlasted most marriages with Mel. I'm sure you'd make a great husband but it probably wants a break too. 

      Have you had your Tumor samples tested to see what your doing on a cellular level. I often wonder whether researchers ever look at at long time survivors and see if there is anything common amongst their Genome.

      cheers James

      • February 1, 2012 at 10:13 pm
      James from Sydney
      Participant

      Hey Charlie

      'to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse'  You have turned this into a chronic disease maybe the fact that it keeps pecking at you is a sign that it wants to know how you have outlasted most marriages with Mel. I'm sure you'd make a great husband but it probably wants a break too. 

      Have you had your Tumor samples tested to see what your doing on a cellular level. I often wonder whether researchers ever look at at long time survivors and see if there is anything common amongst their Genome.

      cheers James

      • February 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm
      dian in spokane
      Participant

      aha~ there you are. I see I looked for you on the wrong side of the tracks. Glad to see you made another birthday dude, but sorry you are feeling so melancholy. Sorry melanoma has fecked with you your entire life.

      I miss you

      dian

      • February 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm
      dian in spokane
      Participant

      aha~ there you are. I see I looked for you on the wrong side of the tracks. Glad to see you made another birthday dude, but sorry you are feeling so melancholy. Sorry melanoma has fecked with you your entire life.

      I miss you

      dian

      • February 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm
      dian in spokane
      Participant

      aha~ there you are. I see I looked for you on the wrong side of the tracks. Glad to see you made another birthday dude, but sorry you are feeling so melancholy. Sorry melanoma has fecked with you your entire life.

      I miss you

      dian

      • February 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm
      kristine
      Participant

      Just so you know, you are such an inspiration.  Thanks for sharing, you are a special person!

      • February 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm
      kristine
      Participant

      Just so you know, you are such an inspiration.  Thanks for sharing, you are a special person!

      • February 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm
      kristine
      Participant

      Just so you know, you are such an inspiration.  Thanks for sharing, you are a special person!

      • February 3, 2012 at 6:47 am
      JerryfromFauq
      Participant

      What? YOU don't GET IT?

         I'm still wondering just what IT even IS!

      Won't discuss other ISSUES, but will say You are a very special fellow.

      Think of you often.

       

      Amazing how much more appreciation we have for  birthdays  now than pre-Mel.

      • February 3, 2012 at 6:47 am
      JerryfromFauq
      Participant

      What? YOU don't GET IT?

         I'm still wondering just what IT even IS!

      Won't discuss other ISSUES, but will say You are a very special fellow.

      Think of you often.

       

      Amazing how much more appreciation we have for  birthdays  now than pre-Mel.

      • February 3, 2012 at 6:47 am
      JerryfromFauq
      Participant

      What? YOU don't GET IT?

         I'm still wondering just what IT even IS!

      Won't discuss other ISSUES, but will say You are a very special fellow.

      Think of you often.

       

      Amazing how much more appreciation we have for  birthdays  now than pre-Mel.

      • February 5, 2012 at 1:15 am
      debbieVA
      Participant

      Sir Charles….

      I'll be headed to Chapel Hill for their 3rd/ Melanoma symposium…I know a few are going…how about you? 

      debbieVA

       

      • February 5, 2012 at 1:15 am
      debbieVA
      Participant

      Sir Charles….

      I'll be headed to Chapel Hill for their 3rd/ Melanoma symposium…I know a few are going…how about you? 

      debbieVA

       

      • February 5, 2012 at 1:15 am
      debbieVA
      Participant

      Sir Charles….

      I'll be headed to Chapel Hill for their 3rd/ Melanoma symposium…I know a few are going…how about you? 

      debbieVA

       

Viewing 35 reply threads
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