JW

Thanks.  I appreciate you!!

This is good advice.  Thank you.

I do have another question, which seems dumb, but just to make sure . . . the term "response rate" means how many people are helped by a treatment, right?  So a 40% response rate means that the drug helps 40% of the people who take it?  (And therefore that it doesn't help the other 60%?)

Oh — and what makes you think my husband is stage 4?  I thought that was only if it has spread to distant sites.  

Thank you.  I did read your primer thoroughly and found it very helpful!  I was trying to summarize may takeaway from it + other stuff I've read.  Thanks for your additional infomration/clarifications.  You are so generous with your time!

Thank you.  I will be sure to look into that!

Thank you for sharing your experience.  That is a helpful perspective to share with my husband.  I'm so sorry that your family lost a child to suicide!  I appreciate your advice about letting the school know, and only answering questions rather than innundating her with info.  Re support, this forum has been a godsend to me, as my husband is insisting on secrecy at this point, so there aren't a lot of people I can talk to right now.

Thank you — this is helpful!  I'll look for books (we love to read!) and I'll be sure to let the school know once we tell our daughter. 

Thank you for this info about Dr. Cowey.  My husband's first oncologist visit and PET scan were at a TX Oncology branch, and we've been really happy with everything about them.  We'll keep him in mind in case things don't work out with the guy at UTSW.

Thanks so much!  I appreciate your sharing your take!  Just sent you a message.

Thanks for your reply, Bill!  This is exactly how I feel, but my husband does not have this sense of urgency.  I hope when I tell him about your experience, he may change his mind.  We are only a 6-hour drive from MDA, so even if the local melanoma specialist turns out to be great, I think we should get at least hear what someone at MDA has to say sooner rather than later. I appreciate your taking the time to share your experience!

Thank you so much for your quick reply.  In re-reading my post, I see that I was a little unclear.  We have gotten the ball rolling with a general oncologist, and I neglected to mention that the upcoming melanoma specialist appointment is at UT Southwestern, which I understand to be a highly-rated facility, though not as highly-rated as MD Anderson.  We definitely want somoene's opinion at MD Anderson, but we just aren't sure if we need to rush over there, or if we can start treatment locally and put off the out of town visit.     I guess it will be easier to decide once we know the staging and what treatments are being proposed.  In any case, I'm so grateful to have input from others who are dealing with similar situations.  Thanks so much for replying!

Thanks for you response, Beth.  Yes, that's why I mentioned MD Anderson.  We are in the Dallas area, so it's only a 6 hour drive from us, and my understanding is that they are the best in the nation.  

We have an appointment next week with with a melanoma specialist at UT Southwestern in Dallas, which is also highly-rated.  We'd prefer to stay local if possible, but at the follow-up with the surgeon who removed the tumors, he was pretty insistent that we should go to MD Anderson.  However, I'm not sure how much I value his opinion . . . he let the supposed poylp grow for 3 months (and 3 visits from my increasingly uncomfortable husband) without biopsying it, and he seemed offended at the onocologist's suggestion that my husband may need additional surgery to get clear margins.

It's all so overwhelming!  It's very helpful to hear others' experiences and opinions.  Thanks so much for replying!

Thank you, Bubbles! I read both of the blog posts you linked and several other posts on your blog. You've been through so much, and it is amazingly generous of you to take so much time to share your knowledge with others!  I'll definitely be referring back to your primer after we hear what treatment options are being proposed, and that may help me decide whether the local specialist is sufficient (for the short-term, at least) or whether to hurry over to MD Anderson.

Re my daughter . . . we have told her little bits along the lines you mentioned . . . she knows Dad had a polyp (as we thought at the time) removed from his butt and that his recovery has been very painful, that he had a test recently to see if he had any more "polyps" anywhere else in his body, and that we are going back to the doctor on Friday to hear the results of that test.  I'm just wondering when to mention the C-word. . . she has heard of cancer and knows that people can die from it.  We've avoided it so far since we have so little details, but I think we'll have to tell her at some point or risk someone else letting it slip.

Thanks for your reply.  I'm not on facebook.