Hanaln

Thank you all for your comments. Yes, we are going to a melanoma specialist in Iowa City. To be fair; we asked the doctors about the survival rate because we thought that’s what you were supposed to ask. In hindsight I shouldn’t have. But then I would have probably googled it. He is negative for the BRAF mutation. I just don’t know how to handle this with such a young daughter. The fear is paralyzing me.

Melanie, thank you!!! I have been re-reading your post the past few days and it has given me a lot to think about and try to re-train my thoughts. My husband is so strong and determined to beat this. The thought has never even crossed his mind that he won’t be ok. I don’t know how you that are actually fighting the disease do it, but I wish you the best. Thank you for being there for me.

Hi Ted, I completely agree that as a caregiver I do feel helpless much of the time. I’m trying to be there but he is so much stronger emotionally than I am. Thanks for taking the time to write to me and provide some encouragement. It helps so much to know that this site is here as an outlet.

Hi there, thanks for taking the time to write to me. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Trying to enjoy the moments is great advice, I hope to get better at it. Thankfully children make it easier to smile even on the worst days.

Hi Amie, thanks for the words of encouragement. It helps me to read this and know that it is possible to keep going even when it seems like I can’t. I do read the survivor stories when I am feeling scared. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it just makes me more anxious and go to the “what if’s”. How is your husband doing now? Thanks for being there for me.

Holly

Bri, thanks for taking the time to respond to me. You certainly have your plate full and I’m grateful for your insight. I can’t imagine being in your shoes, especially with a 15 month old. However, sometimes I think that having my daughter around during this time is the best medicine. Stay strong!

Thanks, Judy. Definitely something to think about.

Thanks for your response, Dave. I appreciate your kind words and advice. Best wishes to you and your wife!

I’m glad you received good news. What a relief! I just read your post and it sounds very encouraging. His report came back showing there was 1 small active lymph node near the pancreas but he has Crohn’s disease as well and the dr is assuming that the lymph node that showed up was due to the Crohns. He said it was small and will continue with the Keytruda and scan again in 3 months. The doctor didn’t seem super excited about this report but maybe I’m reading too much into it? Or maybe Doctors are just so used to giving out news that they aren’t very emotionally involved. I wish I felt more relieved but I don’t. Please keep me updated on how you are doing. It is nice to connect with others on the same journey.

Hi Amie
Thanks so much for the kind words. I teared up reading your message. We won’t get the report back until tomorrow but the Dr was 92% sure that his scan looked fine, no growth or major changes. I just can’t help but continually worry about what the future holds, what the longevity is, etc. I should be overjoyed with this report today but I’m still extremely emotional.

Thanks so much for your reply. I’m glad to hear that you are doing well and have such a positive attitude. I will continue to think of your mantra. We’ve found a melanoma specialist and my husband will start on immunotherapy next week.

Yes, I know I asked for it. I just wasn’t educated in how poor the statistics are and it scared me. Hearing from others on this site has helped to give me hope. Thank you for your advice

Amanda,
Thank you so much for your advice. I can’t imagine going through that with a newborn baby. You sound like an extremely strong and kind woman. We have found a melanoma specialist and do feel good about the team we have now. We go to his first treatment next week. I’ll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way!
Holly

Jackie,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Do you remember if anything helped you cope with the anxiety when your husband was diagnosed?

We did find a melanoma specialist that we felt very good after meeting with. Right now we are just waiting for his first treatment appointment. I think a lot of the anxiety is seeing how he will respond to that and getting through the first 3 month scan. The doctor made us feel comfortable, saying if plan A didn’t work he would have a plan B, C and D ready to go. I wish they never would have given us prognostic statistics, but we asked. I work with numbers all day long so that was a natural question for me.

He was tested for BRAF and that was negative.

Lucy,
Thank you for your comments. Our second opinion was the melanoma specialist in Iowa city. I don’t understand the staging either. Sending good thoughts your way as well!