Denise55

Hi Nic

Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment.  Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.

All the best

Denise

Hi Nic

Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment.  Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.

All the best

Denise

Hi Nic

Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment.  Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.

All the best

Denise

Hi Des

I am very sorry to read of how bad things are for your partner. It must be very difficult for you to be optimistic and supportive, especially with a lack of information. There are many knowledgeable people on this site and hopefully someone will be able to give you some practical advice. Meantime, I hope you are able to stay strong, and I wish you the best for your appt on 18 December.

Denise

Hi Des

I am very sorry to read of how bad things are for your partner. It must be very difficult for you to be optimistic and supportive, especially with a lack of information. There are many knowledgeable people on this site and hopefully someone will be able to give you some practical advice. Meantime, I hope you are able to stay strong, and I wish you the best for your appt on 18 December.

Denise

Hi Des

I am very sorry to read of how bad things are for your partner. It must be very difficult for you to be optimistic and supportive, especially with a lack of information. There are many knowledgeable people on this site and hopefully someone will be able to give you some practical advice. Meantime, I hope you are able to stay strong, and I wish you the best for your appt on 18 December.

Denise

Hi, it's fantastic that your derm is doing an excisional biopsy, and what you have described – the eye shape – is also really good. It is called an elliptical cut and is generally what a plastic surgeon would choose in a visible area. This cut takes out all the lesion, plus small margins all around and underneath, but most importantly, it allows the surgeon to make a straight line when they put the stitches in. This will give you a much better scar over time, almost invisible. A straight line of the size you are talking about (six stitches) will heal flat. It is a good thing! Best of luck with your result.

Hi, it's fantastic that your derm is doing an excisional biopsy, and what you have described – the eye shape – is also really good. It is called an elliptical cut and is generally what a plastic surgeon would choose in a visible area. This cut takes out all the lesion, plus small margins all around and underneath, but most importantly, it allows the surgeon to make a straight line when they put the stitches in. This will give you a much better scar over time, almost invisible. A straight line of the size you are talking about (six stitches) will heal flat. It is a good thing! Best of luck with your result.