› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Newly diagnosed
- This topic has 3 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 10 years, 11 months ago by
Denise55.
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- May 15, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Hi, I am a 38 year old mother of 2, diagnosed with melanoma in situ 4 weeks ago, I had wle and have had the all clear from this, thankfully.
However it’s the emotions I am really struggling with, I live in the UK, in Scotland, it’s not a sunny place at all, but as soon as the sun shine people are out half naked no sunscreen no protection,
I have had quite a few sunburns myself and admit to using sunbeds maybe about 5 times in my life, as a family we use factor 50 and shade each.I am struggling with everything at the moment, every little twinge, mark, spot, scratch, ache, pain is cancer in my head, my arm has a 4 inch scar which is healing well but still aches and feels like its ripping,
I know I am lucky but doesn’t feel it just now, I was a hospice nurse for 5 years and in my head- cancer = dying,
I have read a lot of your post some have helped others have panicked me but I thank you very much for sharing your experiences it has helped me loads,
Can I ask when do these feelings go? Do they ever?
Struggling with the sunscreen can’t get round having to put it on every day, so am just avoiding going out, is it just me?? I feel like a weirdo just now.I thank you in advance for any advice you can offer me
Regards
Nic
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- May 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm
Hi Nic
Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment. Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.
All the best
Denise
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- May 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm
Hi Nic
Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment. Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.
All the best
Denise
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- May 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm
Hi Nic
Yes, it does get easier. I am 10 years out now, from two primaries, one was .43 and one was in situ. It can take ages, I think all the feelings you have described are a really normal reaction. At the moment, you're still in shock over the word "cancer". But of course, cancer does not equal dying, logically we know this. Are you going to have regular dermatologist skin checks, maybe every 6 months? That will help your peace of mind. Also, if it is helpful, try to just rely on the "likely" or "unlikely" scenario. Will it come back? Unlikely. Will time pass and I will get used to this? Very likely. Nice and calm and rational. That seems to be the key to peace of mind. There are so many facts to back up an in situ never bothering you again, but as you say, it is the emotional issues you are having to fight at the moment. Re the scar, they take ages to settle down, can feel like "ripping" for months, all normal. Also, about the sunscreen, yes, you eventually stop being paranoid and find your own comfort in being sunsafe. That might be sunscreen, or it might be proper sunsafe clothing, or shade, or not going out in the peak sun hours. I hate sunscreen, too, and you just find your own comfort level. You even stop seeing the sun as your enemy! It does get heaps easier, take it slow, lots of deep breaths.
All the best
Denise
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