› Forums › General Melanoma Community › When do you learn to live??
- This topic has 24 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by jpg.
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- June 30, 2015 at 7:20 am
Hi guys
hope every one is well! Iv been really struggling the last few days I watched one of my best friends get married at the weekend and was an amazing day, I now have got down as I can't even imagine getting married or having kids it's making me really sad. When does this get easier? I'm still so New to this and with new subq still popping up I am loosing faith and I don't want to be like this. What helps you guys? Xx
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Hi Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. It is good that you have found this forum as it can offer such wonderful support and friendship. After battling this disease for 15 years, currently Stage IIIb, I remember contacting my local cancer council which offered free counselling and I found that really helpful when I was first diagnosed as friends and family don't always understand what you are going through. It gave me the tools to remain positive and determined to make changes like reducing stress to give my immune system the best support it could get. If you have this in your area or through a hospital I would recommend it. Take care of yourself and I wish you all the best.
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Hi Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. It is good that you have found this forum as it can offer such wonderful support and friendship. After battling this disease for 15 years, currently Stage IIIb, I remember contacting my local cancer council which offered free counselling and I found that really helpful when I was first diagnosed as friends and family don't always understand what you are going through. It gave me the tools to remain positive and determined to make changes like reducing stress to give my immune system the best support it could get. If you have this in your area or through a hospital I would recommend it. Take care of yourself and I wish you all the best.
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Hi Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. It is good that you have found this forum as it can offer such wonderful support and friendship. After battling this disease for 15 years, currently Stage IIIb, I remember contacting my local cancer council which offered free counselling and I found that really helpful when I was first diagnosed as friends and family don't always understand what you are going through. It gave me the tools to remain positive and determined to make changes like reducing stress to give my immune system the best support it could get. If you have this in your area or through a hospital I would recommend it. Take care of yourself and I wish you all the best.
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Kelly – My heart goes out to you.
All I can say is that it is a process. Even now, after just one episode, and being 2 1/2 years NED, I cannot even tell anyone about this without tearing up. And yet, I am more optimistic now than I ever have been before because of the advances in immunotherapy. To paraphrase what an oncologist said on a panel discussing immunotherapy – It is never a good time to have cancer, but if you have to have cancer, now is a really good time to have cancer.
Please be kind to yourself and do not be afraid to tell a good friend exactly what you are feeling. Good friends have a habit of rising to the occasion.
Best wishes.
Mary
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Kelly – My heart goes out to you.
All I can say is that it is a process. Even now, after just one episode, and being 2 1/2 years NED, I cannot even tell anyone about this without tearing up. And yet, I am more optimistic now than I ever have been before because of the advances in immunotherapy. To paraphrase what an oncologist said on a panel discussing immunotherapy – It is never a good time to have cancer, but if you have to have cancer, now is a really good time to have cancer.
Please be kind to yourself and do not be afraid to tell a good friend exactly what you are feeling. Good friends have a habit of rising to the occasion.
Best wishes.
Mary
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- June 30, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Kelly – My heart goes out to you.
All I can say is that it is a process. Even now, after just one episode, and being 2 1/2 years NED, I cannot even tell anyone about this without tearing up. And yet, I am more optimistic now than I ever have been before because of the advances in immunotherapy. To paraphrase what an oncologist said on a panel discussing immunotherapy – It is never a good time to have cancer, but if you have to have cancer, now is a really good time to have cancer.
Please be kind to yourself and do not be afraid to tell a good friend exactly what you are feeling. Good friends have a habit of rising to the occasion.
Best wishes.
Mary
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- June 30, 2015 at 6:24 pm
I think it is totally normal to have down days – happens to all of us. When I was first diagnosed at stage 2 several years ago it felt like the sky was falling. Not knowing anything, I went on the web and Googled… big mistake. It felt like I had an expiration date all of a sudden and it took me out of my right mind. I actually sold a new sports car I had just acquired at a loss because I did not want my family to have to deal with it when I was gone… how is that for a poor reaction? Still miss that car :).
So fast forward a few years and I am still here. Yes, I did progress to stage 4 but am currently NED after surgery over a year ago and no systemmic treatments. Each day I wake up, go to work, hit the gym, and live a relatively normal life – perhaps with some better perspective on things now. I am laser focused on being able to retire early (I am currently 41, married with 3 kids). Will I get there? Don't know, but I have faith and I am sure going to try. Hang in there.
Kevin
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- June 30, 2015 at 6:24 pm
I think it is totally normal to have down days – happens to all of us. When I was first diagnosed at stage 2 several years ago it felt like the sky was falling. Not knowing anything, I went on the web and Googled… big mistake. It felt like I had an expiration date all of a sudden and it took me out of my right mind. I actually sold a new sports car I had just acquired at a loss because I did not want my family to have to deal with it when I was gone… how is that for a poor reaction? Still miss that car :).
So fast forward a few years and I am still here. Yes, I did progress to stage 4 but am currently NED after surgery over a year ago and no systemmic treatments. Each day I wake up, go to work, hit the gym, and live a relatively normal life – perhaps with some better perspective on things now. I am laser focused on being able to retire early (I am currently 41, married with 3 kids). Will I get there? Don't know, but I have faith and I am sure going to try. Hang in there.
Kevin
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- June 30, 2015 at 6:24 pm
I think it is totally normal to have down days – happens to all of us. When I was first diagnosed at stage 2 several years ago it felt like the sky was falling. Not knowing anything, I went on the web and Googled… big mistake. It felt like I had an expiration date all of a sudden and it took me out of my right mind. I actually sold a new sports car I had just acquired at a loss because I did not want my family to have to deal with it when I was gone… how is that for a poor reaction? Still miss that car :).
So fast forward a few years and I am still here. Yes, I did progress to stage 4 but am currently NED after surgery over a year ago and no systemmic treatments. Each day I wake up, go to work, hit the gym, and live a relatively normal life – perhaps with some better perspective on things now. I am laser focused on being able to retire early (I am currently 41, married with 3 kids). Will I get there? Don't know, but I have faith and I am sure going to try. Hang in there.
Kevin
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- July 1, 2015 at 6:12 pm
Kelly,
You have been given some great responses. You will find the path that works for you. But…if you need some inspiration….perhaps these will help:
The amazing words and life of Stuart Scott….
http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2015/01/thisis-how-you-fight-cancer.html
My version….not nearly as cool…but still….
So….live!!! You can do this! Celeste
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- July 1, 2015 at 6:12 pm
Kelly,
You have been given some great responses. You will find the path that works for you. But…if you need some inspiration….perhaps these will help:
The amazing words and life of Stuart Scott….
http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2015/01/thisis-how-you-fight-cancer.html
My version….not nearly as cool…but still….
So….live!!! You can do this! Celeste
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- July 1, 2015 at 6:12 pm
Kelly,
You have been given some great responses. You will find the path that works for you. But…if you need some inspiration….perhaps these will help:
The amazing words and life of Stuart Scott….
http://chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2015/01/thisis-how-you-fight-cancer.html
My version….not nearly as cool…but still….
So….live!!! You can do this! Celeste
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- July 2, 2015 at 2:22 am
I felt the same way at diagnosis 6 years ago. I am currently in complete remission from stage IV and have been for over a year. It gets easier with time. Let yourself cry if you need to, but that need will begin to fade. Keep being optimistic because there are good treatments available and your chances are so much better than they would have been just a few years ago. There are many success stories on the internet, reading them may help. Wishing you the best.
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- July 2, 2015 at 2:22 am
I felt the same way at diagnosis 6 years ago. I am currently in complete remission from stage IV and have been for over a year. It gets easier with time. Let yourself cry if you need to, but that need will begin to fade. Keep being optimistic because there are good treatments available and your chances are so much better than they would have been just a few years ago. There are many success stories on the internet, reading them may help. Wishing you the best.
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- July 2, 2015 at 2:22 am
I felt the same way at diagnosis 6 years ago. I am currently in complete remission from stage IV and have been for over a year. It gets easier with time. Let yourself cry if you need to, but that need will begin to fade. Keep being optimistic because there are good treatments available and your chances are so much better than they would have been just a few years ago. There are many success stories on the internet, reading them may help. Wishing you the best.
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- July 5, 2015 at 2:23 am
Hi Kelly,
I felt the same way when I was first diagnosed. I was so angry and sad and frustrated and scared all at the same time. I have always been the type to be super upbeat and happy and be-boppin around, so these were all new feelings that I didn't know how to deal with.
I tried talking to people, but EVERY person I would talk to would say "It's all gonna be ok", and that would make me even more mad, because I felt like they didn't know or understand.
Anyways, the one thing that REALLY REALLY helped me was to keep a journal. Sometimes I would sit up at night and just cry and write and cry and write some more. It really helped. I could put all my feelings down and just ramble on and on and get everything out of my system and didn't have to worry about what anyone would say or think because it was only for me to read.
I hope it helps!
God Bless,
Lisa
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- July 5, 2015 at 2:23 am
Hi Kelly,
I felt the same way when I was first diagnosed. I was so angry and sad and frustrated and scared all at the same time. I have always been the type to be super upbeat and happy and be-boppin around, so these were all new feelings that I didn't know how to deal with.
I tried talking to people, but EVERY person I would talk to would say "It's all gonna be ok", and that would make me even more mad, because I felt like they didn't know or understand.
Anyways, the one thing that REALLY REALLY helped me was to keep a journal. Sometimes I would sit up at night and just cry and write and cry and write some more. It really helped. I could put all my feelings down and just ramble on and on and get everything out of my system and didn't have to worry about what anyone would say or think because it was only for me to read.
I hope it helps!
God Bless,
Lisa
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- July 5, 2015 at 2:23 am
Hi Kelly,
I felt the same way when I was first diagnosed. I was so angry and sad and frustrated and scared all at the same time. I have always been the type to be super upbeat and happy and be-boppin around, so these were all new feelings that I didn't know how to deal with.
I tried talking to people, but EVERY person I would talk to would say "It's all gonna be ok", and that would make me even more mad, because I felt like they didn't know or understand.
Anyways, the one thing that REALLY REALLY helped me was to keep a journal. Sometimes I would sit up at night and just cry and write and cry and write some more. It really helped. I could put all my feelings down and just ramble on and on and get everything out of my system and didn't have to worry about what anyone would say or think because it was only for me to read.
I hope it helps!
God Bless,
Lisa
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