› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Sometime it’s best to just talk to some one or
- This topic has 69 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by
Millykamp.
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- July 31, 2015 at 12:56 am
I have been having mixed emotions the last few days.. I try talking to people,about it but I don't want them to think I am one of those people that is overreacting on something that is nothing. I lost my dad to cancer when he was 38, pretty much lost half of my dad side of the family to cancer. Now that I am 37 and found out I have melanoma the past few weeks has been nothing but biopsy, and more yet to come. along with upcoming wide excision and SLNB. I know my cancer is nothing to worry about. But it's always on my mind.. I guess I am scare of not knowing what to expect. I am just curios…. Do people ,ever get those days where you just wanna have a big hug and just cry???
i am so glad I found this site and glad to see people' from around the world just come together and support one and another . Thank you!!!
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- July 31, 2015 at 3:39 am
First…big hug to you. You're feelings and emotions are totally normal. I have those days all the time…it's a constant roller coaster and luckily the people here live it and understand it. In my 4 years, I've had good days and bad days. The waiting for biopsy, surgery, scans etc… Come with a lot of anxiety and my biggest struggle. So don't feel like you're overeacting, your feelings are real and valid.
I'm glad you found this forum. I wish nothing but the best for you and if you need an outlet, this is a great place to come.
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- July 31, 2015 at 3:39 am
First…big hug to you. You're feelings and emotions are totally normal. I have those days all the time…it's a constant roller coaster and luckily the people here live it and understand it. In my 4 years, I've had good days and bad days. The waiting for biopsy, surgery, scans etc… Come with a lot of anxiety and my biggest struggle. So don't feel like you're overeacting, your feelings are real and valid.
I'm glad you found this forum. I wish nothing but the best for you and if you need an outlet, this is a great place to come.
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- July 31, 2015 at 3:39 am
First…big hug to you. You're feelings and emotions are totally normal. I have those days all the time…it's a constant roller coaster and luckily the people here live it and understand it. In my 4 years, I've had good days and bad days. The waiting for biopsy, surgery, scans etc… Come with a lot of anxiety and my biggest struggle. So don't feel like you're overeacting, your feelings are real and valid.
I'm glad you found this forum. I wish nothing but the best for you and if you need an outlet, this is a great place to come.
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- July 31, 2015 at 5:04 am
I second what Josh said. And I would add that I disagree with your statement that you have nothing to worry about. You have valid reasons for being concerned. Have you thought about counseling? I have a therapist, and it helps me a lot to have someone I can talk with confidentially, who is wise, caring and sees things from a different perspective than I do, and who can offer me lots of good suggestions that I wouldn't have thought of myself.
All the best to you.
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- July 31, 2015 at 5:04 am
I second what Josh said. And I would add that I disagree with your statement that you have nothing to worry about. You have valid reasons for being concerned. Have you thought about counseling? I have a therapist, and it helps me a lot to have someone I can talk with confidentially, who is wise, caring and sees things from a different perspective than I do, and who can offer me lots of good suggestions that I wouldn't have thought of myself.
All the best to you.
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- July 31, 2015 at 5:04 am
I second what Josh said. And I would add that I disagree with your statement that you have nothing to worry about. You have valid reasons for being concerned. Have you thought about counseling? I have a therapist, and it helps me a lot to have someone I can talk with confidentially, who is wise, caring and sees things from a different perspective than I do, and who can offer me lots of good suggestions that I wouldn't have thought of myself.
All the best to you.
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- July 31, 2015 at 7:36 am
Hi Millykamp
I was first diagnosed with melanoma in March this year, and since then I've had three separate melanomas diagnosed – luckily, all thin/early stage. I tell you though, from the minute my doctor first told me, I have spent waaaaaay to much time worrying about and/or googling melanoma. I still am spending too much time – I can tell you now, googling doesn't help – if anything it does more harm than good. I think it's really natural for this to be a worrying and unsettling time. It's a serious diagnosis,no matter which stage it presents itself. You need to be quite gentle with yourself right now, do whatever you need to do to get some peace and calm in your life (or at least reduce unnecessary stress). We are always here for each other, no-one else can really appreciate what it's like to get diagnosed with melanoma.
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- July 31, 2015 at 7:36 am
Hi Millykamp
I was first diagnosed with melanoma in March this year, and since then I've had three separate melanomas diagnosed – luckily, all thin/early stage. I tell you though, from the minute my doctor first told me, I have spent waaaaaay to much time worrying about and/or googling melanoma. I still am spending too much time – I can tell you now, googling doesn't help – if anything it does more harm than good. I think it's really natural for this to be a worrying and unsettling time. It's a serious diagnosis,no matter which stage it presents itself. You need to be quite gentle with yourself right now, do whatever you need to do to get some peace and calm in your life (or at least reduce unnecessary stress). We are always here for each other, no-one else can really appreciate what it's like to get diagnosed with melanoma.
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- July 31, 2015 at 7:36 am
Hi Millykamp
I was first diagnosed with melanoma in March this year, and since then I've had three separate melanomas diagnosed – luckily, all thin/early stage. I tell you though, from the minute my doctor first told me, I have spent waaaaaay to much time worrying about and/or googling melanoma. I still am spending too much time – I can tell you now, googling doesn't help – if anything it does more harm than good. I think it's really natural for this to be a worrying and unsettling time. It's a serious diagnosis,no matter which stage it presents itself. You need to be quite gentle with yourself right now, do whatever you need to do to get some peace and calm in your life (or at least reduce unnecessary stress). We are always here for each other, no-one else can really appreciate what it's like to get diagnosed with melanoma.
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- July 31, 2015 at 3:18 pm
It is always easy to say. But I would really suggest you to calm down and have peace. It does not mean that you do not think about it or do not concern. Just practice to avoid emotional fluctuation.
Usually I try meditation and pray. And try to live postive and be in regular activity.
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- July 31, 2015 at 3:18 pm
It is always easy to say. But I would really suggest you to calm down and have peace. It does not mean that you do not think about it or do not concern. Just practice to avoid emotional fluctuation.
Usually I try meditation and pray. And try to live postive and be in regular activity.
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Well said, D Feng. I aim to achieve this too (granted, I'm usually not that successful). But even having that goal and intention helps. I hope you are doing well, my friend. I remember reading your first posts and thinking about another parent with children thrown into the world of melanoma madness
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Well said, D Feng. I aim to achieve this too (granted, I'm usually not that successful). But even having that goal and intention helps. I hope you are doing well, my friend. I remember reading your first posts and thinking about another parent with children thrown into the world of melanoma madness
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Well said, D Feng. I aim to achieve this too (granted, I'm usually not that successful). But even having that goal and intention helps. I hope you are doing well, my friend. I remember reading your first posts and thinking about another parent with children thrown into the world of melanoma madness
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:57 pm
I try talking to my daughter about it all but she just don't know what to think and often would rather not talk about it… Since I have just the one child… I do have a strong support from my mom. Here is my ??? Do melanoma really do leave your body or its is once u get it it's hiding sooner or later it will show up again? Not day been a better day. Just need to get my herbal oils out.
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:57 pm
I try talking to my daughter about it all but she just don't know what to think and often would rather not talk about it… Since I have just the one child… I do have a strong support from my mom. Here is my ??? Do melanoma really do leave your body or its is once u get it it's hiding sooner or later it will show up again? Not day been a better day. Just need to get my herbal oils out.
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- July 31, 2015 at 8:57 pm
I try talking to my daughter about it all but she just don't know what to think and often would rather not talk about it… Since I have just the one child… I do have a strong support from my mom. Here is my ??? Do melanoma really do leave your body or its is once u get it it's hiding sooner or later it will show up again? Not day been a better day. Just need to get my herbal oils out.
-
- July 31, 2015 at 3:18 pm
It is always easy to say. But I would really suggest you to calm down and have peace. It does not mean that you do not think about it or do not concern. Just practice to avoid emotional fluctuation.
Usually I try meditation and pray. And try to live postive and be in regular activity.
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- August 1, 2015 at 4:54 am
Melissa, I see that you are being treated at the University of Michigan. I live in Ann Arbor. I'm waiting for an appoinment at U of M, either in the dermatology clinic or the melanoma clinic, to biopsy two moles on my back.
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- August 2, 2015 at 4:38 am
I wish you the best with your appointment and procedure, Melissa. I'm still waiting for an appointment to be scheduled at U of M. I'm sorry that I don't know an answer to your questions about SLNB, or whether you are likely to miss work.
If you need anything while you are in Ann Arbor, or if you just want to talk, please contact me. I'll send you a private message on this forum with my email address and telephone number. Some people have posted that the message system doesn't work, so if you don't receive a message from me, please let me know.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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- August 2, 2015 at 4:38 am
I wish you the best with your appointment and procedure, Melissa. I'm still waiting for an appointment to be scheduled at U of M. I'm sorry that I don't know an answer to your questions about SLNB, or whether you are likely to miss work.
If you need anything while you are in Ann Arbor, or if you just want to talk, please contact me. I'll send you a private message on this forum with my email address and telephone number. Some people have posted that the message system doesn't work, so if you don't receive a message from me, please let me know.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:05 am
Melissa, my email address is [email protected], and me cell number is 734-657-4470.
Call me or send me an email if you want to talk, or get together, or if there's anything that I can do for you, when you are in Ann Arbor.
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:05 am
Melissa, my email address is [email protected], and me cell number is 734-657-4470.
Call me or send me an email if you want to talk, or get together, or if there's anything that I can do for you, when you are in Ann Arbor.
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:05 am
Melissa, my email address is [email protected], and me cell number is 734-657-4470.
Call me or send me an email if you want to talk, or get together, or if there's anything that I can do for you, when you are in Ann Arbor.
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- August 2, 2015 at 4:38 am
I wish you the best with your appointment and procedure, Melissa. I'm still waiting for an appointment to be scheduled at U of M. I'm sorry that I don't know an answer to your questions about SLNB, or whether you are likely to miss work.
If you need anything while you are in Ann Arbor, or if you just want to talk, please contact me. I'll send you a private message on this forum with my email address and telephone number. Some people have posted that the message system doesn't work, so if you don't receive a message from me, please let me know.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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- August 2, 2015 at 9:28 am
Hi Melissa
Maybe this old thread will give you some idea re recovery times from SLNB:
All the best
Stars
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- August 2, 2015 at 9:28 am
Hi Melissa
Maybe this old thread will give you some idea re recovery times from SLNB:
All the best
Stars
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- August 2, 2015 at 9:28 am
Hi Melissa
Maybe this old thread will give you some idea re recovery times from SLNB:
All the best
Stars
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Hi Melissa,
My story is very similar to yours so I completely understand how your feeling, my diagnosis was in 2010 stage 1b location was right in the middle of my upper back, my SLNB was thankfully negative. My father passed at the age of 38 from melanoma, he had a recurrance at 6yrs that put him stage 4. So when I was diagnosed at age 44 I was a complete mess, the surgery was the easy part, very little discomfort, the hard part was the mental issues in dealing with this. I felt as though I could not talk to anyone really, I felt no one understood even my own family. I pray you have a good outcome from your SLNB, and once you get past that it really just takes time, as they say time heals.
I think it took me several months but I did come to a point where it was no longer on my mind all the time and I live life without fear now. I am currently going through a little bit of a scare and although I know there is a good chance that too will have a good outcome it's just a reminder that we can't let this rule the life we have and be thankful to be disease free. I too found comfort in this board and am very appreciative for all the information that is posted here.
Sending prayers and positive energy your way.
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Hi Melissa,
My story is very similar to yours so I completely understand how your feeling, my diagnosis was in 2010 stage 1b location was right in the middle of my upper back, my SLNB was thankfully negative. My father passed at the age of 38 from melanoma, he had a recurrance at 6yrs that put him stage 4. So when I was diagnosed at age 44 I was a complete mess, the surgery was the easy part, very little discomfort, the hard part was the mental issues in dealing with this. I felt as though I could not talk to anyone really, I felt no one understood even my own family. I pray you have a good outcome from your SLNB, and once you get past that it really just takes time, as they say time heals.
I think it took me several months but I did come to a point where it was no longer on my mind all the time and I live life without fear now. I am currently going through a little bit of a scare and although I know there is a good chance that too will have a good outcome it's just a reminder that we can't let this rule the life we have and be thankful to be disease free. I too found comfort in this board and am very appreciative for all the information that is posted here.
Sending prayers and positive energy your way.
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- August 3, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Hi Melissa,
My story is very similar to yours so I completely understand how your feeling, my diagnosis was in 2010 stage 1b location was right in the middle of my upper back, my SLNB was thankfully negative. My father passed at the age of 38 from melanoma, he had a recurrance at 6yrs that put him stage 4. So when I was diagnosed at age 44 I was a complete mess, the surgery was the easy part, very little discomfort, the hard part was the mental issues in dealing with this. I felt as though I could not talk to anyone really, I felt no one understood even my own family. I pray you have a good outcome from your SLNB, and once you get past that it really just takes time, as they say time heals.
I think it took me several months but I did come to a point where it was no longer on my mind all the time and I live life without fear now. I am currently going through a little bit of a scare and although I know there is a good chance that too will have a good outcome it's just a reminder that we can't let this rule the life we have and be thankful to be disease free. I too found comfort in this board and am very appreciative for all the information that is posted here.
Sending prayers and positive energy your way.
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- August 3, 2015 at 6:22 pm
Thank you
I feel great. But as the time get closers to finding out the results of rhe SNB, I know I will be nervous I am praying for a clean node and good to go. I do have a family reunion this weekend since my dad side is name rhe cancer we got it.. I am taking a pad of papers and pen to write down who has what to take with me when I see the dr. My dad died at the age of 38, my grandpa died at the age 42. I had lost a a cousin last year at the age of 52. It just all ages and all cancer. I think it best for the dr at rhe cancer place to know and make sure I am in best hands.
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- August 3, 2015 at 6:22 pm
Thank you
I feel great. But as the time get closers to finding out the results of rhe SNB, I know I will be nervous I am praying for a clean node and good to go. I do have a family reunion this weekend since my dad side is name rhe cancer we got it.. I am taking a pad of papers and pen to write down who has what to take with me when I see the dr. My dad died at the age of 38, my grandpa died at the age 42. I had lost a a cousin last year at the age of 52. It just all ages and all cancer. I think it best for the dr at rhe cancer place to know and make sure I am in best hands.
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- August 3, 2015 at 6:22 pm
Thank you
I feel great. But as the time get closers to finding out the results of rhe SNB, I know I will be nervous I am praying for a clean node and good to go. I do have a family reunion this weekend since my dad side is name rhe cancer we got it.. I am taking a pad of papers and pen to write down who has what to take with me when I see the dr. My dad died at the age of 38, my grandpa died at the age 42. I had lost a a cousin last year at the age of 52. It just all ages and all cancer. I think it best for the dr at rhe cancer place to know and make sure I am in best hands.
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- August 5, 2015 at 2:47 am
I cry sometimes for no reason… sometime for the people that love me… but, it has gotten better.
Had my SLNB… three incisions / 10 nodes right axila… 2-3 days until I was somewhat functional… within a week I was doing good with good range of motion on the arm. 3 weeks I was doing basic excersises.
Hope it helps… Be stong!!!
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- August 6, 2015 at 6:54 am
How are you going, Melissa? It's a shame you have such a long wait for the next steps in your treatment. I find waiting to be the absolute worst, I want it all over and done with so I can get back to my day to day boring but amazing life. I've been pretty lucky so far with only 1 week or so wait in between biopsy then WLE. I still hated waiting… Nothing made me appreciate normal life except for these little sneaky melanomas. How are you going emotionally? I know you've had a few ups and downs but I hope you're feeling ok and enjoying life in between dr appts. Take care,
Stars
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- August 6, 2015 at 6:54 am
How are you going, Melissa? It's a shame you have such a long wait for the next steps in your treatment. I find waiting to be the absolute worst, I want it all over and done with so I can get back to my day to day boring but amazing life. I've been pretty lucky so far with only 1 week or so wait in between biopsy then WLE. I still hated waiting… Nothing made me appreciate normal life except for these little sneaky melanomas. How are you going emotionally? I know you've had a few ups and downs but I hope you're feeling ok and enjoying life in between dr appts. Take care,
Stars
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- August 6, 2015 at 6:54 am
How are you going, Melissa? It's a shame you have such a long wait for the next steps in your treatment. I find waiting to be the absolute worst, I want it all over and done with so I can get back to my day to day boring but amazing life. I've been pretty lucky so far with only 1 week or so wait in between biopsy then WLE. I still hated waiting… Nothing made me appreciate normal life except for these little sneaky melanomas. How are you going emotionally? I know you've had a few ups and downs but I hope you're feeling ok and enjoying life in between dr appts. Take care,
Stars
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- August 6, 2015 at 11:46 pm
I am going in a week from today to do another biopsy on the one they did on my neck. The doctor called and said it giving us an reading as no cancerous but it still wants a deeper reading. I am clueless on that part.
I had also gotten all my paperworks and in the process of gathering all of my dad side health history. My dad side of the family is full of all kinds of cancer and most of them had lost their battle to cancer,
i am am doing good just hate the wait and not knowing what is going to happened. So many ??? To ask and kinda confuse.. But I am a strong woman who at times does just sit down and cry… Plus it doesn't help that my only child is also a college student and starting college during the time of my surgery. So. My emotions are all over the place …
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- August 6, 2015 at 11:46 pm
I am going in a week from today to do another biopsy on the one they did on my neck. The doctor called and said it giving us an reading as no cancerous but it still wants a deeper reading. I am clueless on that part.
I had also gotten all my paperworks and in the process of gathering all of my dad side health history. My dad side of the family is full of all kinds of cancer and most of them had lost their battle to cancer,
i am am doing good just hate the wait and not knowing what is going to happened. So many ??? To ask and kinda confuse.. But I am a strong woman who at times does just sit down and cry… Plus it doesn't help that my only child is also a college student and starting college during the time of my surgery. So. My emotions are all over the place …
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- August 7, 2015 at 9:29 am
Only one more week, that's great – odd to do a deeper biopsy once the lesion has been biopsied and given the all clear, but there probaby is some good reason. I know that even if a mole is dysplastic – that is, unusual but not melanoma, the pathologist still sometimes recommends a 2mm margin which can mean an extra excision.
It's actually a really good idea to collect family history, however don't assume that their history will be your future. You might have this one scary brush with melanoma and then never again – who knows.
I think it's excellent you are getting the SLNB done – it has been shown to make a difference in people with melanomas of intermediate thickness like yours. My prayer is that your nodes are totally clear, or that if they are not clear perhaps only one or two need to be removed and then its back to normal life with regular checkups so that you can settle your precious child into uni (hardly a child, I guess, at college age!).
Take it easy on yourself and try find distractions during the wait. Having a good cry in the shower is also very much something we can all relate to.
Stars
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- August 7, 2015 at 9:29 am
Only one more week, that's great – odd to do a deeper biopsy once the lesion has been biopsied and given the all clear, but there probaby is some good reason. I know that even if a mole is dysplastic – that is, unusual but not melanoma, the pathologist still sometimes recommends a 2mm margin which can mean an extra excision.
It's actually a really good idea to collect family history, however don't assume that their history will be your future. You might have this one scary brush with melanoma and then never again – who knows.
I think it's excellent you are getting the SLNB done – it has been shown to make a difference in people with melanomas of intermediate thickness like yours. My prayer is that your nodes are totally clear, or that if they are not clear perhaps only one or two need to be removed and then its back to normal life with regular checkups so that you can settle your precious child into uni (hardly a child, I guess, at college age!).
Take it easy on yourself and try find distractions during the wait. Having a good cry in the shower is also very much something we can all relate to.
Stars
-
- August 7, 2015 at 9:29 am
Only one more week, that's great – odd to do a deeper biopsy once the lesion has been biopsied and given the all clear, but there probaby is some good reason. I know that even if a mole is dysplastic – that is, unusual but not melanoma, the pathologist still sometimes recommends a 2mm margin which can mean an extra excision.
It's actually a really good idea to collect family history, however don't assume that their history will be your future. You might have this one scary brush with melanoma and then never again – who knows.
I think it's excellent you are getting the SLNB done – it has been shown to make a difference in people with melanomas of intermediate thickness like yours. My prayer is that your nodes are totally clear, or that if they are not clear perhaps only one or two need to be removed and then its back to normal life with regular checkups so that you can settle your precious child into uni (hardly a child, I guess, at college age!).
Take it easy on yourself and try find distractions during the wait. Having a good cry in the shower is also very much something we can all relate to.
Stars
-
- August 6, 2015 at 11:46 pm
I am going in a week from today to do another biopsy on the one they did on my neck. The doctor called and said it giving us an reading as no cancerous but it still wants a deeper reading. I am clueless on that part.
I had also gotten all my paperworks and in the process of gathering all of my dad side health history. My dad side of the family is full of all kinds of cancer and most of them had lost their battle to cancer,
i am am doing good just hate the wait and not knowing what is going to happened. So many ??? To ask and kinda confuse.. But I am a strong woman who at times does just sit down and cry… Plus it doesn't help that my only child is also a college student and starting college during the time of my surgery. So. My emotions are all over the place …
-
- August 5, 2015 at 2:47 am
I cry sometimes for no reason… sometime for the people that love me… but, it has gotten better.
Had my SLNB… three incisions / 10 nodes right axila… 2-3 days until I was somewhat functional… within a week I was doing good with good range of motion on the arm. 3 weeks I was doing basic excersises.
Hope it helps… Be stong!!!
-
- August 5, 2015 at 2:47 am
I cry sometimes for no reason… sometime for the people that love me… but, it has gotten better.
Had my SLNB… three incisions / 10 nodes right axila… 2-3 days until I was somewhat functional… within a week I was doing good with good range of motion on the arm. 3 weeks I was doing basic excersises.
Hope it helps… Be stong!!!
-
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