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Scars

  • Post
    stars
    Participant

      Hi – this is kind of a trivial post in the scheme of things but I wonder if others can relate. Since March I've had 3 WLEs, so three big scars – one is pretty much hidden in my normal clothing (upper thigh), but the other two would be quite visible if I wore, for example, a short sleeved shirt.  When I had them done, just within the last few months, I bought some new tops that cover them (elbow area and upper chest). Its becoming quite an effort to keep them covered as the weather is getting warmer here, but I'm intensely uncomfortable showing them or having to tell my story to well-meaning colleagues who ask. I'm only just coming to terms to what happened to me (3 synchronous primary melanomas) and I'm not ready to share. That, and I find them ugly. Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? I'm in a very public job and I'm sure I would get either stares or queries from well-meaning people, I"m just not ready for that.

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    • Replies
        Fen
        Participant

          Right now everything is new – the scary melanoma diagnosis and the scars.  You might find that the scars fade and they bother you less after awhile. Try massaging Aquafor in daily.

          If that doesn't happen you might consider a scar revision.  I had that done after the fourth surgery on my neck left a 4 inch ugly, twisted, vertical scar.  The plastic surgeon used a topical anesthetic to remove the scar and gave me brown tape to put on the incision afterwards, citing research showing it is more effective than any cream in reducing scarring.  

          One more thing.  Our eyes are drawn to the unexpected – it's a reflex – so don't feel that people are staring or judging if they just glance.  

          Fen

           

          Fen
          Participant

            Right now everything is new – the scary melanoma diagnosis and the scars.  You might find that the scars fade and they bother you less after awhile. Try massaging Aquafor in daily.

            If that doesn't happen you might consider a scar revision.  I had that done after the fourth surgery on my neck left a 4 inch ugly, twisted, vertical scar.  The plastic surgeon used a topical anesthetic to remove the scar and gave me brown tape to put on the incision afterwards, citing research showing it is more effective than any cream in reducing scarring.  

            One more thing.  Our eyes are drawn to the unexpected – it's a reflex – so don't feel that people are staring or judging if they just glance.  

            Fen

             

              amelanomajourney
              Participant

                Mepiform dressings can help a bit – but you need to use them for 6 months and they are expensive.  I find time is the biggest impact – I know my scars continue to improve and the big difference was at the one year mark.

                Having 3 at once isn't easy and there's no right answer to when you should be comfortable.

                amelanomajourney
                Participant

                  Mepiform dressings can help a bit – but you need to use them for 6 months and they are expensive.  I find time is the biggest impact – I know my scars continue to improve and the big difference was at the one year mark.

                  Having 3 at once isn't easy and there's no right answer to when you should be comfortable.

                  amelanomajourney
                  Participant

                    Mepiform dressings can help a bit – but you need to use them for 6 months and they are expensive.  I find time is the biggest impact – I know my scars continue to improve and the big difference was at the one year mark.

                    Having 3 at once isn't easy and there's no right answer to when you should be comfortable.

                  Fen
                  Participant

                    Right now everything is new – the scary melanoma diagnosis and the scars.  You might find that the scars fade and they bother you less after awhile. Try massaging Aquafor in daily.

                    If that doesn't happen you might consider a scar revision.  I had that done after the fourth surgery on my neck left a 4 inch ugly, twisted, vertical scar.  The plastic surgeon used a topical anesthetic to remove the scar and gave me brown tape to put on the incision afterwards, citing research showing it is more effective than any cream in reducing scarring.  

                    One more thing.  Our eyes are drawn to the unexpected – it's a reflex – so don't feel that people are staring or judging if they just glance.  

                    Fen

                     

                    Colleen66
                    Participant
                      I’ve got a bunch of scars also. Legs, back, arm, neck, groin… I also developed Vitiligo which gets looks too. I think of them as battle scars and don’t give them a second thought anymore. Warriors get scars, it’s what we do ๐Ÿ™‚

                      Colleen

                      Colleen66
                      Participant
                        I’ve got a bunch of scars also. Legs, back, arm, neck, groin… I also developed Vitiligo which gets looks too. I think of them as battle scars and don’t give them a second thought anymore. Warriors get scars, it’s what we do ๐Ÿ™‚

                        Colleen

                        Colleen66
                        Participant
                          I’ve got a bunch of scars also. Legs, back, arm, neck, groin… I also developed Vitiligo which gets looks too. I think of them as battle scars and don’t give them a second thought anymore. Warriors get scars, it’s what we do ๐Ÿ™‚

                          Colleen

                            tschmith
                            Participant

                              I agree with Colleen! 

                              tschmith
                              Participant

                                I agree with Colleen! 

                                tschmith
                                Participant

                                  I agree with Colleen! 

                                ET-SF
                                Participant

                                  At first Earline was a bit sensitive about her WLE scar, but I think she's over it.  A friend who is a nurse asked about the surgeon's work.  I replied that it's beautiful.  I lifted ET's shirt sleeve and showed off the clean closure, and we both marveled at how good a cosmetic result it was — even though ET still has a very long scar running down her shoulder.  But to me, the scar really is beautiful.  It's a reminder that that thing is out of her arm!  And I couldn't agree more with Colleen:  It's a battle scar.  ET is a fighter, and I'm proud of her for fighting.  Her scar could never be anything but beautiful.

                                  FAIW, at our last follow-up appointment with the surgeon, I noticed she had a long scar on her shoulder, just peeking out from beneath her scrubs.  I didn't ask her about it, but it appeared to me that she might be a fellow traveler.  It wasn't an ugly thing on her either.  It told me that she was fighting something and was winning, at least for now.  I respected that, and I was grateful she was the one doing the cutting on my ET.

                                  ET-SF
                                  Participant

                                    At first Earline was a bit sensitive about her WLE scar, but I think she's over it.  A friend who is a nurse asked about the surgeon's work.  I replied that it's beautiful.  I lifted ET's shirt sleeve and showed off the clean closure, and we both marveled at how good a cosmetic result it was — even though ET still has a very long scar running down her shoulder.  But to me, the scar really is beautiful.  It's a reminder that that thing is out of her arm!  And I couldn't agree more with Colleen:  It's a battle scar.  ET is a fighter, and I'm proud of her for fighting.  Her scar could never be anything but beautiful.

                                    FAIW, at our last follow-up appointment with the surgeon, I noticed she had a long scar on her shoulder, just peeking out from beneath her scrubs.  I didn't ask her about it, but it appeared to me that she might be a fellow traveler.  It wasn't an ugly thing on her either.  It told me that she was fighting something and was winning, at least for now.  I respected that, and I was grateful she was the one doing the cutting on my ET.

                                    ET-SF
                                    Participant

                                      At first Earline was a bit sensitive about her WLE scar, but I think she's over it.  A friend who is a nurse asked about the surgeon's work.  I replied that it's beautiful.  I lifted ET's shirt sleeve and showed off the clean closure, and we both marveled at how good a cosmetic result it was — even though ET still has a very long scar running down her shoulder.  But to me, the scar really is beautiful.  It's a reminder that that thing is out of her arm!  And I couldn't agree more with Colleen:  It's a battle scar.  ET is a fighter, and I'm proud of her for fighting.  Her scar could never be anything but beautiful.

                                      FAIW, at our last follow-up appointment with the surgeon, I noticed she had a long scar on her shoulder, just peeking out from beneath her scrubs.  I didn't ask her about it, but it appeared to me that she might be a fellow traveler.  It wasn't an ugly thing on her either.  It told me that she was fighting something and was winning, at least for now.  I respected that, and I was grateful she was the one doing the cutting on my ET.

                                      stars
                                      Participant

                                        Thanks guys, especially for the suggestions about what can be done about scars and also how others view them.

                                        stars
                                        Participant

                                          Thanks guys, especially for the suggestions about what can be done about scars and also how others view them.

                                          stars
                                          Participant

                                            Thanks guys, especially for the suggestions about what can be done about scars and also how others view them.

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