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Melanoma survivor, coming up on 10 years.
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Melanoma survivor, coming up on 10 years.

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Melanoma survivor, coming up on 10 years.

  • Post
    • August 29, 2013 at 3:26 am
    SteveDB
    Participant

      Hi all.

      It's been a year or so since I was last here. I typically come in once a year or so to say– Hi! I'm still alive, blah, blah, blah (whatever updates may pertain).

       

      I have 7 more months, and I will reach the 10 year mark from my last of 6 surgeries, from 1997-2004.

      I've found myself feeling it, deeper than I had before, and realized– I need to learn how to live again.

      Hi all.

      It's been a year or so since I was last here. I typically come in once a year or so to say– Hi! I'm still alive, blah, blah, blah (whatever updates may pertain).

       

      I have 7 more months, and I will reach the 10 year mark from my last of 6 surgeries, from 1997-2004.

      I've found myself feeling it, deeper than I had before, and realized– I need to learn how to live again.

      Cancer doctors teach and prepare us to die, but they really have no idea– at least a few years ago– as to how to show us how to live again, or how to live beyond cancer.

      So, for whatever reason, this evening, I googled– living beyond cancer. It appears that much forward motion has taken place in this avenue. Which is a good thing.

       

      So, Hi all! I'm still alive. I don't really know what that means, but I do it one heartbeat, one breath, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year…… at a time. I pray each day, read my bible a little bit each day, and God shows up…. sometimes profoundly, sometimes very gently, and simply, so much so that at times, I miss it.

       

      Ever watched the movie– It's a Wonderful Life?

      Remember the scene where Bailey made it back to the bridge, after his journey through Pottersville? Remember his prayer?

       

      God, I want to live again. Please, let me live again.

      Work through it. Come back to life.

    Viewing 9 reply threads
    • Replies
        • August 29, 2013 at 9:49 am
        Maureen038
        Participant
          Thank you for posting and giving us all such hope!! The one gift that this dreadful disease has given my husband and I is how precious life is each and every day.
          • August 29, 2013 at 9:49 am
          Maureen038
          Participant
            Thank you for posting and giving us all such hope!! The one gift that this dreadful disease has given my husband and I is how precious life is each and every day.
            • August 29, 2013 at 9:49 am
            Maureen038
            Participant
              Thank you for posting and giving us all such hope!! The one gift that this dreadful disease has given my husband and I is how precious life is each and every day.
              • August 30, 2013 at 6:24 am
              DeniseK
              Participant

                 I don't get it??  You are living. Your a lucky lucky man to have survived for 10 years post stage IV melanoma.  You should be kicking up your heels and making each day count.  You should look into helping other people by giving them hope that they can beat cancer and continue to spend time with their families and friends.  I'm sorry, but I don't feel sorry for you.  We are here fighting for our lives and your complaining about how to live?!  Continue to read your bible I'm sure "your God" will guide you.

                  • September 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm
                  blden2186
                  Participant
                    What a sad reply on a forum that is here for support.
                    • September 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm
                    blden2186
                    Participant
                      What a sad reply on a forum that is here for support.
                      • September 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm
                      blden2186
                      Participant
                        What a sad reply on a forum that is here for support.
                        • September 14, 2013 at 11:13 pm
                        casagrayson
                        Participant

                          Couldn't own that one, Anonymous?  frown   Steve has a much of a right to his feelings as a survivor as you do as a warrior.  I am in hopes that when you reach NED, and still have fears, that everyone on this board will support you instead of slamming you.  broken heart

                          • September 14, 2013 at 11:13 pm
                          casagrayson
                          Participant

                            Couldn't own that one, Anonymous?  frown   Steve has a much of a right to his feelings as a survivor as you do as a warrior.  I am in hopes that when you reach NED, and still have fears, that everyone on this board will support you instead of slamming you.  broken heart

                            • September 14, 2013 at 11:13 pm
                            casagrayson
                            Participant

                              Couldn't own that one, Anonymous?  frown   Steve has a much of a right to his feelings as a survivor as you do as a warrior.  I am in hopes that when you reach NED, and still have fears, that everyone on this board will support you instead of slamming you.  broken heart

                            • August 30, 2013 at 6:24 am
                            DeniseK
                            Participant

                               I don't get it??  You are living. Your a lucky lucky man to have survived for 10 years post stage IV melanoma.  You should be kicking up your heels and making each day count.  You should look into helping other people by giving them hope that they can beat cancer and continue to spend time with their families and friends.  I'm sorry, but I don't feel sorry for you.  We are here fighting for our lives and your complaining about how to live?!  Continue to read your bible I'm sure "your God" will guide you.

                              • August 30, 2013 at 6:24 am
                              DeniseK
                              Participant

                                 I don't get it??  You are living. Your a lucky lucky man to have survived for 10 years post stage IV melanoma.  You should be kicking up your heels and making each day count.  You should look into helping other people by giving them hope that they can beat cancer and continue to spend time with their families and friends.  I'm sorry, but I don't feel sorry for you.  We are here fighting for our lives and your complaining about how to live?!  Continue to read your bible I'm sure "your God" will guide you.

                                • August 30, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                                mary in Rhode Island
                                Participant

                                  I understand how you feel….since 1988 I have gone  up and down about melanoma.  after a lung resection in 2005 I was depressed But i didn't realize it…….Medication is a help when everything you tell yourself doesn't seem to help.  Like you I knew all the thing, "others are worse off","  what about the little ones  that are suffering" Etc. all of these are very, very true and I knew it…..But still i couldn't pull up from the feelings i had.  I did see a counselor and go on anti depressants.  I am happy to say I am joyful and grateful and ENJOYING my life…..You might just need some assistance that talking to yourself doesn't provide……Be kind to yourself……You can get to where you want to be!   Best wishes, Mary

                                  • August 31, 2013 at 9:18 pm
                                  Tina D
                                  Participant

                                    I appreciate your post, and think we all realize that this disease affects every aspect of our ives. During times of treatment, and during times of waiting. I would not want to minimaze the many ways it can affect any given person when faced with any cancer diagnosis. It is good that you are looking into moving forward. I feel like early on, my husband offered some great wisdom as we faced difficult days : let's choose to not let this rob us of anything beyond what it absolutely must. It is a challenge, all along the journey. Since you mention faith, I would offer that seeking Christian counsel would be beneficial. Every single day is such a blessing, and we choose what we will focus on… when you are uprooted in every way by a potentially fatal disease, it can be beyond challenging to not let it fill your every thought. When you are taking treatments that make you ill, it is hard to focus on much else. And for some, when you are facing times of quiet, but feel like you are constantly holding your breath…. that can be a super trying time. Glad you chose to post and praying you find the ways to move forward and take hold of the gift of life.

                                    Tina

                                    • August 31, 2013 at 9:18 pm
                                    Tina D
                                    Participant

                                      I appreciate your post, and think we all realize that this disease affects every aspect of our ives. During times of treatment, and during times of waiting. I would not want to minimaze the many ways it can affect any given person when faced with any cancer diagnosis. It is good that you are looking into moving forward. I feel like early on, my husband offered some great wisdom as we faced difficult days : let's choose to not let this rob us of anything beyond what it absolutely must. It is a challenge, all along the journey. Since you mention faith, I would offer that seeking Christian counsel would be beneficial. Every single day is such a blessing, and we choose what we will focus on… when you are uprooted in every way by a potentially fatal disease, it can be beyond challenging to not let it fill your every thought. When you are taking treatments that make you ill, it is hard to focus on much else. And for some, when you are facing times of quiet, but feel like you are constantly holding your breath…. that can be a super trying time. Glad you chose to post and praying you find the ways to move forward and take hold of the gift of life.

                                      Tina

                                      • August 31, 2013 at 9:18 pm
                                      Tina D
                                      Participant

                                        I appreciate your post, and think we all realize that this disease affects every aspect of our ives. During times of treatment, and during times of waiting. I would not want to minimaze the many ways it can affect any given person when faced with any cancer diagnosis. It is good that you are looking into moving forward. I feel like early on, my husband offered some great wisdom as we faced difficult days : let's choose to not let this rob us of anything beyond what it absolutely must. It is a challenge, all along the journey. Since you mention faith, I would offer that seeking Christian counsel would be beneficial. Every single day is such a blessing, and we choose what we will focus on… when you are uprooted in every way by a potentially fatal disease, it can be beyond challenging to not let it fill your every thought. When you are taking treatments that make you ill, it is hard to focus on much else. And for some, when you are facing times of quiet, but feel like you are constantly holding your breath…. that can be a super trying time. Glad you chose to post and praying you find the ways to move forward and take hold of the gift of life.

                                        Tina

                                        • August 30, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                                        mary in Rhode Island
                                        Participant

                                          I understand how you feel….since 1988 I have gone  up and down about melanoma.  after a lung resection in 2005 I was depressed But i didn't realize it…….Medication is a help when everything you tell yourself doesn't seem to help.  Like you I knew all the thing, "others are worse off","  what about the little ones  that are suffering" Etc. all of these are very, very true and I knew it…..But still i couldn't pull up from the feelings i had.  I did see a counselor and go on anti depressants.  I am happy to say I am joyful and grateful and ENJOYING my life…..You might just need some assistance that talking to yourself doesn't provide……Be kind to yourself……You can get to where you want to be!   Best wishes, Mary

                                          • August 30, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                                          mary in Rhode Island
                                          Participant

                                            I understand how you feel….since 1988 I have gone  up and down about melanoma.  after a lung resection in 2005 I was depressed But i didn't realize it…….Medication is a help when everything you tell yourself doesn't seem to help.  Like you I knew all the thing, "others are worse off","  what about the little ones  that are suffering" Etc. all of these are very, very true and I knew it…..But still i couldn't pull up from the feelings i had.  I did see a counselor and go on anti depressants.  I am happy to say I am joyful and grateful and ENJOYING my life…..You might just need some assistance that talking to yourself doesn't provide……Be kind to yourself……You can get to where you want to be!   Best wishes, Mary

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