› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Ignore “Anon” Postings
- This topic has 14 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 4 months ago by
BonnieLea.
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- August 15, 2011 at 1:05 pm
Hi Everyone,
I'm just catching up on the posts from the weekend, and I must say, I'm aghast! I come here for support and advice, and thankfully, this extended family has never let me down…especially the kind, respectful MichaelFL who was attacked by name in one of the posts. It's troubling.
Hi Everyone,
I'm just catching up on the posts from the weekend, and I must say, I'm aghast! I come here for support and advice, and thankfully, this extended family has never let me down…especially the kind, respectful MichaelFL who was attacked by name in one of the posts. It's troubling.
I certainly respect everyone's freedom of speech…it makes this country great. I realize people have strong opinions and are entitled to them, but the main goal here is to support and educate one another. When posts are reduced to the negative back and forth banter out of anger, it detracts from the purpose we come here…to help one another.
My advice is to ignore the nasty anonymous postings in order to maintain the integrity of the board. To get involved in the back and forth arguments, only gives "Anon" a venue to spew venom. To simply ignore removes his/her ability to continue the attacks. Let "Anonymous" state his/her opinion (freedom of speech)…then it ends. As hard as it will be, and I know that many, including me, will want to jump through the screen at some postings, just let it go.
If "Anonymous" attacks a member as he/she did with Jill, simply post the positive…Jill, I support your decision and value your input on the board. You are an incredibly generous individual to share so much of this painful journey with us in order to help us with our battles. We love you!
Then, should Anonymous attack, ignore. I know it will be hard, but you can lash out in your heart and in your head, just don't use the keyboard.
Just my two cents.
If you agree with me…don't reply. If you disagree…use your freedom of speech!
Tricia
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- August 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I definately don't disagree with what you've said Tricia. I think the posts got out of control and many people were offended – including Anonymous. There are some things that he/she said that may have been valid, but unfortunately they came across as cruel and many people got upset which then spirled our of control.
I'm very thankful this board exists, without it, I'd be lost – especially without people like MichaeIFL. This board helps me celebrate good news, support me when I'm freaking out and guides me with decisions I may make. For that, I'm grateful to all of you.
I will say this though – I come on this board when I'm feeling scared. LIke many of you, I'm terrified of what may happen to me and often live in a world of denial so I can keep my mind focused on my family, my life and beating this thing. When I come on here and see any bad news posted, I don't open it up because it scares me and I don't want to read what might happen to me. I feel horrible that I can't send my condolences to people who have lost the loves of their lives or their children because I have watched my own husband's despair over the fact he may lose me. I also look at my daughter who may never have memories of me. My husband hates the amount of time that I spend on this site because he senses when I've seen something posted that's upset me. Some topics bring me down at times and takes away a bit of my HOPE so I just chose to read good news or treatment options – nothing else. Everything else just makes me so damn angry that I have this friggin' cancer.
Lisa – Stage 4
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- August 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I definately don't disagree with what you've said Tricia. I think the posts got out of control and many people were offended – including Anonymous. There are some things that he/she said that may have been valid, but unfortunately they came across as cruel and many people got upset which then spirled our of control.
I'm very thankful this board exists, without it, I'd be lost – especially without people like MichaeIFL. This board helps me celebrate good news, support me when I'm freaking out and guides me with decisions I may make. For that, I'm grateful to all of you.
I will say this though – I come on this board when I'm feeling scared. LIke many of you, I'm terrified of what may happen to me and often live in a world of denial so I can keep my mind focused on my family, my life and beating this thing. When I come on here and see any bad news posted, I don't open it up because it scares me and I don't want to read what might happen to me. I feel horrible that I can't send my condolences to people who have lost the loves of their lives or their children because I have watched my own husband's despair over the fact he may lose me. I also look at my daughter who may never have memories of me. My husband hates the amount of time that I spend on this site because he senses when I've seen something posted that's upset me. Some topics bring me down at times and takes away a bit of my HOPE so I just chose to read good news or treatment options – nothing else. Everything else just makes me so damn angry that I have this friggin' cancer.
Lisa – Stage 4
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- August 15, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Lisa,
Anonymous is wanting to offend – and be offended – that is why he posts what he does. We just need to continue to contact MRF and hope that they address the issue. Bickering back and forth with him will get us nowhere.
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- August 15, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Lisa,
Anonymous is wanting to offend – and be offended – that is why he posts what he does. We just need to continue to contact MRF and hope that they address the issue. Bickering back and forth with him will get us nowhere.
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- August 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm
It's very obvious who anonymous is …. sometimes he forgets to click that choice and his real MRF name is used. Again, report him to MRF, as I have, and we might get somewhere!
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- August 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm
It's very obvious who anonymous is …. sometimes he forgets to click that choice and his real MRF name is used. Again, report him to MRF, as I have, and we might get somewhere!
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- August 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm
i dont know who the anon is, but i do agree that they should be ignored.
I do not agree that the anon option should be removed. I have used anon many times (though you can probably tell when i do cuz i NEVER write with proper capitualization, lol).
there are times when i have questions about my disease that i want/need to ask about and dont want people to know its me asking. i have met some of the people on this board in person and formed friendships with them and quite honestly, i dont want them to worry needlessly. i know i worry alot when i see questions from friends that imply disease progression.
I also used the anon feature when the big hoopla was goin on about jill's video. I am the person who ended up being attacked on the OTB almost word for word for being too harsh in my reply but i dont care about that.
What i care about is being able to share things in this community, wether good or bad, happy or sad. And yes, i think that includes video updates like the one jill posted.
My feelings about what eric and jill were trying to do are mine and im sure there are plenty of people who wont agree with me.. but what i KNOW happened because of that is:
i shared that video with friends and family – to show the true horrors of melanoma… and the response i got was amazing!!!!
that was my choice…. just like it would have been my choice to not watch it.
But this is about anon options….. we need them. we need them for the days when we are a little too scared to attach or names to our questions.
and we all are adults, so lets act like it. Ignore the BULLY. but please lets keep this an open forum where we can bare our souls if we need to. .
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- August 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm
i dont know who the anon is, but i do agree that they should be ignored.
I do not agree that the anon option should be removed. I have used anon many times (though you can probably tell when i do cuz i NEVER write with proper capitualization, lol).
there are times when i have questions about my disease that i want/need to ask about and dont want people to know its me asking. i have met some of the people on this board in person and formed friendships with them and quite honestly, i dont want them to worry needlessly. i know i worry alot when i see questions from friends that imply disease progression.
I also used the anon feature when the big hoopla was goin on about jill's video. I am the person who ended up being attacked on the OTB almost word for word for being too harsh in my reply but i dont care about that.
What i care about is being able to share things in this community, wether good or bad, happy or sad. And yes, i think that includes video updates like the one jill posted.
My feelings about what eric and jill were trying to do are mine and im sure there are plenty of people who wont agree with me.. but what i KNOW happened because of that is:
i shared that video with friends and family – to show the true horrors of melanoma… and the response i got was amazing!!!!
that was my choice…. just like it would have been my choice to not watch it.
But this is about anon options….. we need them. we need them for the days when we are a little too scared to attach or names to our questions.
and we all are adults, so lets act like it. Ignore the BULLY. but please lets keep this an open forum where we can bare our souls if we need to. .
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- August 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm
You're all right (I've figured him out, too). So he's not as anonymous as he'd like to think and we can avoid all his postings. What I've learned also is that anon also pads what he says and isn't just cruel, he outright lies to get his way. He's very manipulative. So, anon, we're all catching on to you, in more ways than one.
For those who use anonymous for the right reasons, you know this isn't aimed at you, and I pray you know grace and peace.
Lisa, while I'm angry at myself for falling for anon's tactics, please know I want to be part of that message of "hope" you need and want. I am praying for you and have been.
Lord, in Your mercy, You also know. We come from different faith backgrounds and backgrounds with no faith, we are all here from various points, places, and melanoma journeys, yet we all have need for hope. Wherever we can find it. We need knowledge, but what good is knowledge if we have no hope to accompany it? Please provide us with both, and Lord, whatever is going on with our friend anonymous, help him too. He needs You. Thank You. Amen and Amen!
Grace and peace,
Carol
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- August 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm
You're all right (I've figured him out, too). So he's not as anonymous as he'd like to think and we can avoid all his postings. What I've learned also is that anon also pads what he says and isn't just cruel, he outright lies to get his way. He's very manipulative. So, anon, we're all catching on to you, in more ways than one.
For those who use anonymous for the right reasons, you know this isn't aimed at you, and I pray you know grace and peace.
Lisa, while I'm angry at myself for falling for anon's tactics, please know I want to be part of that message of "hope" you need and want. I am praying for you and have been.
Lord, in Your mercy, You also know. We come from different faith backgrounds and backgrounds with no faith, we are all here from various points, places, and melanoma journeys, yet we all have need for hope. Wherever we can find it. We need knowledge, but what good is knowledge if we have no hope to accompany it? Please provide us with both, and Lord, whatever is going on with our friend anonymous, help him too. He needs You. Thank You. Amen and Amen!
Grace and peace,
Carol
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- August 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm
you guys are smart. I never can 'figure' out who is who. But I would have rather known just in case. However, I hope it soon ends this crap. I appreciated Jill's and Eric's vlog it gave me and my family more strength to say in earnest, that yes Melanoma can kill.
Bonnie Lea
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- August 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm
you guys are smart. I never can 'figure' out who is who. But I would have rather known just in case. However, I hope it soon ends this crap. I appreciated Jill's and Eric's vlog it gave me and my family more strength to say in earnest, that yes Melanoma can kill.
Bonnie Lea
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