Husband’s new treatment starts today -feeling terrified!

Hey Maureen,

I was hoping you would update us on Bill's next treatment plan.  Hang in there Maureen.  The toughest time is always the grind of trying to find a treatment path and then the anxiety of not knowing if it's going to work.  Once you get into the treatment routine I'm confident you'll get that fightning spirit back.  How is Bill holding up?  You guys have been an amazing team through this journey.

Brian

Dear Maureen,

I have always felt that my struggles have been harder on my dear B than they have been on me!!!  (He would tell you differently, but….)   I think having to watch and wait and hope, while feeling as though you have no way to intervene in your loved one's trajectory must be maddening.  But!  That's where you are right…and wrong.  When our loved ones are there beside us…with uplifting courage as well as when they acknowledge they are down and worried….it is a gift greater than any that medicine can provide.  Not all relationships survive such stressors.  But when they do, those are peeps that we KNOW have our backs and guard our souls…no matter the fluctuations of their spirit.  So, in whatever state you find yourself in – know that Bill is thankful for your love, your touch, your smile, and yes….even your tears.  It is the teamwork, the feeling that there is in fact someone in the fight WITH you ~ that matters.

You can do this.  I hope this treatment with be just the thing that Bill needs and is not too difficult to manage.  Much love, celeste

Maureen, my husband went to a couple of support group meetings specifically for spouses of cancer patients and he says they helped him. I noticed the change, more calm, more stable. The uncertainty can surely be excruciatng, but the treatment routine will help. Sending you and Bill all good wishes.

Lisa 

Hi Maureen – I’m so sorry you and your husband have to go through this mess. One step at a time, you’ll get through it.

Are you in the MD-DC-VA area? If so, read on. If not, ignore the rest of my babbling. Inova’s “Life with Cancer” program is quite good, free (!), and you do not have to be an Inova patient to attend anything. There’s Individual counseling, groups, nutritional counseling, a gym, lounge to just hang out. I attended an art therapy workshop for patients/family/friends that’s held monthly, and my husband and I met with a dietician after he had gut side effects from nivo and/or ipi. Most activities are in a serene lodge-like “house” with free parking/easy access, and area hospitals have some programs. 

(Reading your profile, Dr. Venna left WHC to start up/direct the Melanoma Center at Inova, and my husband squeaked into a trial through them a day or two before it closed worldwide.)

Hang in there –

Beth