Doctors who can’t communicate effectively

I'm not sure what you mean when you say, "All questions are answered with one or two words, or no answer at all." If that is literally true, then you probably should find a better doctor. When my brother met with his oncologist, the doctor was always good about reviewing with my brother the results of the latest scans and blood work. He asked detailed questions about how my brother was feeling and any side effects he was experiencing. And he was good about saying "If the current treatment fails, we could try X or Y"– in other words, getting us to think about a Plan B. I would expect that from any oncologist. 

On the other hand, if the types of questions your doctor refuses to discuss are basically the ones that patients most want answered like "How long have I got to live, Doc?" or "What will the end be like for me?" few doctors want to or even should answer such questions.

There was a very good article in the New York Times recently titled "How long have I got?" It was written by a neurosurgeon who suddenly became a Stage IV cancer patient. He explains how such unanswerable questions feel from the doctor's perspective as well as from the patient's perspective. You might find it an intersting read: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?action=click&module=Search&region=searchResults%230&version=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fquery.nytimes.com%2Fsearch%2Fsitesearch%2F%3Faction%3Dclick%26region%3DMasthead%26pgtype%3DHomepage%26module%3DSearchSubmit%26contentCollection%3DHomepage%26t%3Dqry862%23%2Fhow+long+have+I+got

I'm not sure what you mean when you say, "All questions are answered with one or two words, or no answer at all." If that is literally true, then you probably should find a better doctor. When my brother met with his oncologist, the doctor was always good about reviewing with my brother the results of the latest scans and blood work. He asked detailed questions about how my brother was feeling and any side effects he was experiencing. And he was good about saying "If the current treatment fails, we could try X or Y"– in other words, getting us to think about a Plan B. I would expect that from any oncologist. 

On the other hand, if the types of questions your doctor refuses to discuss are basically the ones that patients most want answered like "How long have I got to live, Doc?" or "What will the end be like for me?" few doctors want to or even should answer such questions.

There was a very good article in the New York Times recently titled "How long have I got?" It was written by a neurosurgeon who suddenly became a Stage IV cancer patient. He explains how such unanswerable questions feel from the doctor's perspective as well as from the patient's perspective. You might find it an intersting read: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?action=click&module=Search&region=searchResults%230&version=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fquery.nytimes.com%2Fsearch%2Fsitesearch%2F%3Faction%3Dclick%26region%3DMasthead%26pgtype%3DHomepage%26module%3DSearchSubmit%26contentCollection%3DHomepage%26t%3Dqry862%23%2Fhow+long+have+I+got

I'm not sure what you mean when you say, "All questions are answered with one or two words, or no answer at all." If that is literally true, then you probably should find a better doctor. When my brother met with his oncologist, the doctor was always good about reviewing with my brother the results of the latest scans and blood work. He asked detailed questions about how my brother was feeling and any side effects he was experiencing. And he was good about saying "If the current treatment fails, we could try X or Y"– in other words, getting us to think about a Plan B. I would expect that from any oncologist. 

On the other hand, if the types of questions your doctor refuses to discuss are basically the ones that patients most want answered like "How long have I got to live, Doc?" or "What will the end be like for me?" few doctors want to or even should answer such questions.

There was a very good article in the New York Times recently titled "How long have I got?" It was written by a neurosurgeon who suddenly became a Stage IV cancer patient. He explains how such unanswerable questions feel from the doctor's perspective as well as from the patient's perspective. You might find it an intersting read: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?action=click&module=Search&region=searchResults%230&version=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fquery.nytimes.com%2Fsearch%2Fsitesearch%2F%3Faction%3Dclick%26region%3DMasthead%26pgtype%3DHomepage%26module%3DSearchSubmit%26contentCollection%3DHomepage%26t%3Dqry862%23%2Fhow+long+have+I+got

You be upfont and say " Dr.— I have some questions I need to discuss with you.I need more information about … I would appeciate a few minutes of your time."  Then be ready with your questions.   Write questions in advance and hand a copy directly to the Dr.   Ask about pubications that would be available…you may need to ask in advance to schedule you with a little more time. Keep asking.

You be upfont and say " Dr.— I have some questions I need to discuss with you.I need more information about … I would appeciate a few minutes of your time."  Then be ready with your questions.   Write questions in advance and hand a copy directly to the Dr.   Ask about pubications that would be available…you may need to ask in advance to schedule you with a little more time. Keep asking.

You be upfont and say " Dr.— I have some questions I need to discuss with you.I need more information about … I would appeciate a few minutes of your time."  Then be ready with your questions.   Write questions in advance and hand a copy directly to the Dr.   Ask about pubications that would be available…you may need to ask in advance to schedule you with a little more time. Keep asking.

Wondering if we have the same oncologist!  I have had the same issue with mine.  I think he has thought about my case he just isn't communicating that to me.  He mentions that he talked with other doctors but I don't get the benefit of the discussion.  This leaves me with the impression that my case IS that bad and that I'm not worth the effort.  When I worked in a travel agency in the summer my boss would remind us that although you have planned thousands of trips to Disney World, its your client's first trip–be as excited as they are.  I just want my oncologist to remember this is my first trip, can you give me a few tips??

Wondering if we have the same oncologist!  I have had the same issue with mine.  I think he has thought about my case he just isn't communicating that to me.  He mentions that he talked with other doctors but I don't get the benefit of the discussion.  This leaves me with the impression that my case IS that bad and that I'm not worth the effort.  When I worked in a travel agency in the summer my boss would remind us that although you have planned thousands of trips to Disney World, its your client's first trip–be as excited as they are.  I just want my oncologist to remember this is my first trip, can you give me a few tips??

Wondering if we have the same oncologist!  I have had the same issue with mine.  I think he has thought about my case he just isn't communicating that to me.  He mentions that he talked with other doctors but I don't get the benefit of the discussion.  This leaves me with the impression that my case IS that bad and that I'm not worth the effort.  When I worked in a travel agency in the summer my boss would remind us that although you have planned thousands of trips to Disney World, its your client's first trip–be as excited as they are.  I just want my oncologist to remember this is my first trip, can you give me a few tips??

All doctors are not created equal, and what works for one patient doesn't work for another.  Truthfully, if you are not getting the information you want or need, I'd get another doctor.  Is there another at the same institution?  It doesn't have to be a big deal – but if you aren't comfortable, it's a problem.  This is about YOU!  I've changed docs before for bedside manner to poor office staff to "we just didn't gel".   You aren't going to change your needs and you can't change his bedside manner, so it might just be time to find someone else.  You are #1 in this equation!

Best wishes,

Janner

All doctors are not created equal, and what works for one patient doesn't work for another.  Truthfully, if you are not getting the information you want or need, I'd get another doctor.  Is there another at the same institution?  It doesn't have to be a big deal – but if you aren't comfortable, it's a problem.  This is about YOU!  I've changed docs before for bedside manner to poor office staff to "we just didn't gel".   You aren't going to change your needs and you can't change his bedside manner, so it might just be time to find someone else.  You are #1 in this equation!

Best wishes,

Janner

All doctors are not created equal, and what works for one patient doesn't work for another.  Truthfully, if you are not getting the information you want or need, I'd get another doctor.  Is there another at the same institution?  It doesn't have to be a big deal – but if you aren't comfortable, it's a problem.  This is about YOU!  I've changed docs before for bedside manner to poor office staff to "we just didn't gel".   You aren't going to change your needs and you can't change his bedside manner, so it might just be time to find someone else.  You are #1 in this equation!

Best wishes,

Janner