› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Dealing with ongoing anxiety related to melanoma diagnosis
- This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 6 months ago by
mroulston.
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- October 30, 2017 at 5:02 pm
I was just wondeirng if anyone would be able to share some tips with me about how they deal with any anxiety that they may feel regarding their melanoma diagnosis.
Five months ago I was dianosied with stage I melanoma. It was excised with clear margins during the first excision, but they went back anyway and did a WLE with 1cm margins just to be safe. The WLE also came back clear.
At the time, I was very happy and positive about the outlook going forward, but then I met with an oncologist who asked me if I had felt any tingling or weird feelings in my right groin (original lesion was on my right leg). At the time, I told him that I felt nothing abnormal in my join, but since then, I've noticed that I absolutely have pain and tingling in my groin (for a whie I thought I was just imaginging it, but now it's clear that something si going on with my groin), and now I've convinced myself that the melanoma has spread there and eventually is going to spread to my organs and put me at stage IV.
I met with the oncologist again a week ago and told him about my groin pain, and he assured me that he doesn't think there's anything to worry about. My right foot has been swollen since the WLE, and the doctor said it's due to damang to the lymphatic draining system during the WLE. I assume this would also cause the pain in my groin. He offered me the option of having an ultrasound to see what's going on with my groin, but he seemed adament that that wasn't necessary, so I took his advice didn't bother with the ultrasound. He ended up referring me to a social worker that he said can help with people dealing with these issues of constant worry and axienty about melanoma spreading (more evidence that the doctor seems convinced that this is all in my head).
Anyway, sorry for rambling, I was just wondering if anyone else is in, or has been in this situation and maybe could you share some advice on what you did to try to help cope with these feelings and get on with life.
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- October 30, 2017 at 6:39 pm
Get the ultrasound then get it again in 18months to 2 years. After that you may no longer have anxiety. If you have a plan like that it will be easier to fight the feelings of anxiety. Hint: Tell the Social Worker that you would be more at ease if you had a scan checkup at intervals like 18months to 2 years. The social worker will most likely agree. Then tell the Oncologist and they should accept the plan.
Hint2: Get a second opinion. The first Oncologist helped you a great deal and you will be forever thankful. But having no follow up plan is a ‘plan of care’ and you should get a second opinion regarding the ‘plan of care’.
You could also ask the new Oncologist about your swollen foot. There are things they can do to help it and you don’t want to wait too long (lymphadema garments, lymphadema massage)
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- October 30, 2017 at 7:27 pm
Thanks very much for posting such a helpful reply. I really appreciate it. Based on your advice, I just called the cancer clinic and asked to book the ultrasound. I wish I could get a second opinion like you suggested, but where I live (Canada) it's hard enough just to get to see the first oncologist, I honestly can't imagine any scenario where I would be able to see a second one. But I will look into that, and again, I really appreciate your suggestions. They helped a lot.
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- October 30, 2017 at 7:27 pm
I was diagnosed 10 months ago and I will say the anxiety has gone down with time. I am diligient and do my tests, I point out everything I can, I get second opinions when needed, I got the best doctor I could find, but otherwise I realized at a certain point I need to try to enjoy life.
Seperately – I hold out hope because so many people have done well on the new treatments that God Forbid anything go bad, the outcome will hopefully be far better now than it was in the past.
Catching melanoma at Stage I is a blessing…. but you are still in the melanoma family which will rattle even the strongest of us. Your fear is not unfounded – but dont let it take your happiness from you. I wish you the best and stay strong – we all need to fight this!
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- October 30, 2017 at 8:13 pm
Thanks for your reply. I agree that catching melanoma at stage I is a definite blessing. Before the biopsy, I was fearing the absolute worst, and finding out it was stage I was a huge relief. Also, like you mentioned, do I take comfort in knowing that treatment options for worse stages of cancer are always improving, so anything ever goes go bad for me, it won't be an automatic death sentence. I am hopeful that over time, my anxiety will lessen.
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- October 30, 2017 at 8:07 pm
Stay off the internet. Constantly visiting sites like this just add to anxiety — especially for stage I. Live life and don't let melanoma win.
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- October 30, 2017 at 8:14 pm
Yes, I think that's my biggest problem. I am constantly on the internet researching this disease, and it seems like the only thing that comes from all the time I spend online reading about melanoma is increased anxiety. I think at some point I need to understand that the best thing I can do right now is just stay off the internet regarding melanoma, and try to get on with my life. Thanks very much for taking the time to reply.
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- October 30, 2017 at 8:18 pm
I was diagnosed with Stage IIB in January 2016. Had the surgery, clear margins, had three nodes removed (all clear). I see either my dermatologist or my surgical oncologist every three months, and everything has been good so far. Still, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. The internet and Facebook are a blessing and a curse. Lot of helpful people, lot of good stories, but lot of scary stuff, too. I chose to be informed and stay informed, and I do what I'm supposed to do. But I don't think the fear will ever go away.
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- October 30, 2017 at 9:25 pm
Thanks for your reply. I can really relate to what you said about not a day going by that you don't think about your diagnosis, and sadly I agree with you when you say that you don't think the fear will ever go away. I'm not expecting to ever rid myself of the fear, but I am hopeful that perhaps over time, as another person metioned in this thread, the fear will go down somewhat and not be so constantly overwhelimg.
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- November 1, 2017 at 1:27 am
I found alot of help in the writings of Seneca, a greek Stoic. He has some great takes on death and dying which, most importantly, is about living. I'm not personally really into "revealed knowledge" (religion), but obviously that is a path for many.
Your feelings are entirely valid. So give yourself that space. Also let yourself move on. But do not be surprised if at some point this experience "awakens" you well beyond the "merely" "happy and positive" you get after leveling from that first rollercoaster dip.
Your ride on this coaster may already be over. There may be an entirely different ride awaiting. Beyond doing your due dilligence, at some point you give this beast more than it would be able to take from you on its own. Don't allow that. That's where counseling is like having a personal trainer. It just helps you get to the results you want. Kind of silly not to take specialized assistance it if you are serious about reaching those results. Helped me lots.
Best of luck,
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- November 1, 2017 at 2:26 pm
Thanks very much for your response and suggestions. They helped a lot. I wasn't familar with Seneca, but I did some research on him and found a quote that really resonated with me: "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality." I also purchased a book by Seneca called "Letters From A Stoic".
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