› Forums › General Melanoma Community › chemo and Hospice
- This topic has 14 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 8 months ago by
Vermont_Donna.
- Post
-
- August 1, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Now that I have stopped anymore chemo and am ready for hospice when I need it, it seems as if my Cancer Dr. don't care much about my condition at all. Of course he don't make as much money this way and not administrating chemo. I apologize for being a bit bitter, but I am afraid all this cancer treatment, etc. is done just for the money. Research sure isn't coming up with anything. I am going to donate my body to a Medical School so lets hope they can learn something from it. Heart Disease for over 40 yrs.
Now that I have stopped anymore chemo and am ready for hospice when I need it, it seems as if my Cancer Dr. don't care much about my condition at all. Of course he don't make as much money this way and not administrating chemo. I apologize for being a bit bitter, but I am afraid all this cancer treatment, etc. is done just for the money. Research sure isn't coming up with anything. I am going to donate my body to a Medical School so lets hope they can learn something from it. Heart Disease for over 40 yrs. and Melanome for 7-8 should provide something interesting.
- Replies
-
-
- August 1, 2011 at 11:33 pm
You exemplify the possible "down side" to everything being so specialized in the medical world. Now that you aren't a chemo patient, you aren't in your doctor's field, and you feel like he doesn't care any more. I'm sorry. You've got enough on your plate.
Before turning Hospice, have you checked with your hospital to see if they offer paliative care? Often hospitals combine that with their own hospice and these can be really good programs. You can use some compassion now.
Thank you for all you bring here, you've taught me a lot, and thank you for donating your body to medical school! That's my plan one day. My Dad's a retired dentist and still talks about the learning they received from the bodies they worked on. There's a need and all fields of medicine need them…you may want to specify the type of research it goes for. Considering you mention heart and melanoma, you might not want future dentists or podiatrists getting you…something to think about. At any rate, you'll provide something interesting I'm sure! Why should that stop? You're a very interesting man and I, for one, intend to enjoy your presence here while I can.
I do hope you find peace and compassion on this part of your journey friend.
Grace and peace,
Carol
-
- August 1, 2011 at 11:33 pm
You exemplify the possible "down side" to everything being so specialized in the medical world. Now that you aren't a chemo patient, you aren't in your doctor's field, and you feel like he doesn't care any more. I'm sorry. You've got enough on your plate.
Before turning Hospice, have you checked with your hospital to see if they offer paliative care? Often hospitals combine that with their own hospice and these can be really good programs. You can use some compassion now.
Thank you for all you bring here, you've taught me a lot, and thank you for donating your body to medical school! That's my plan one day. My Dad's a retired dentist and still talks about the learning they received from the bodies they worked on. There's a need and all fields of medicine need them…you may want to specify the type of research it goes for. Considering you mention heart and melanoma, you might not want future dentists or podiatrists getting you…something to think about. At any rate, you'll provide something interesting I'm sure! Why should that stop? You're a very interesting man and I, for one, intend to enjoy your presence here while I can.
I do hope you find peace and compassion on this part of your journey friend.
Grace and peace,
Carol
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:23 am
I have followed and commented on several of your posts. I think I said before, it is your choice to do as you wish, and you are doing it.
Here are some questions you may wish to think about concerning donating. You may pre register with a local medical school or university, and/or sign a consent form to donate. Or other family members can arrange to have your body donated after you die by filling out an after-death donor form.
Two donation options are available – 'non-retention' and 'retention'. Non-retention means that the medical school cannot keep any of your body parts and after three years, the body is cremated or returned to the family for burial. Retention means that the medical school can retain parts of your body for future use.
In the event that your body cannot be accepted, your family needs to make alternate plans for your disposal.
Also, have you decided what to do after your body has been studied? Many institutions will respectfully cremate your remains at their expense and give your ashes to your loved ones or they will bury (with a service) then in a area they have designated themselves.
Michael
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:23 am
I have followed and commented on several of your posts. I think I said before, it is your choice to do as you wish, and you are doing it.
Here are some questions you may wish to think about concerning donating. You may pre register with a local medical school or university, and/or sign a consent form to donate. Or other family members can arrange to have your body donated after you die by filling out an after-death donor form.
Two donation options are available – 'non-retention' and 'retention'. Non-retention means that the medical school cannot keep any of your body parts and after three years, the body is cremated or returned to the family for burial. Retention means that the medical school can retain parts of your body for future use.
In the event that your body cannot be accepted, your family needs to make alternate plans for your disposal.
Also, have you decided what to do after your body has been studied? Many institutions will respectfully cremate your remains at their expense and give your ashes to your loved ones or they will bury (with a service) then in a area they have designated themselves.
Michael
-
- August 2, 2011 at 1:52 am
I understand how you feel. The doctor has moved on to someone he thinks he can help. Doctor's don't like to face their "failure".
For your own sake, I hope you can find forgiveness and peace of mind if these truly are your last years. (see, I'm being nice, it may be your last months or even weeks, I don't know). Forget about any stress, like financial stress. Let it go. Do something you enjoy, as much as you are able. Insist on being as pain free as possible. There is no reason to be in pain.
Don't do one thing that you don't want to do, if you have a choice. You are a cancer survivor, you can do what you want.
Please try to let the anger go. I am a person who has a hard time forgiving, so I understand.
Praying and hoping for you.
Nicki, Stage 3b
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Dear Nebr78,
I just wrote a long reply and hit the wrong button and it vanished, so I will try to recapture my thoughts. I have been wondering how you have been so was glad to see your post. I know you are upset with Big Pharma and the millions being made off cancer patients….that is truly shocking to see how much money cancer treatments and procedures cost.
When a friend who passed away from melanoma 5 years ago, (when I was just starting my journey), I had heard from his wife that he was no longer scheduled to see the oncologist we shared….I guess I found this shocking, because it was like now when he NEEDED the doc the most, he's not part of the team. It felt like that action took HOPE away.
You are married and you are a retired superintendent, and I bet have had a busy and wonderful life. I bet you, like the rest of us, never expected to find yourself here, fighting cancer, instead of living fully in your retirement. I bet there is a lot of joy and pleasure that you can still find in your days; perhaps the simple things in life is a good focus….a sunrise, a sunset, a good book, or tv show, a good cup of coffee, time with loved ones, conversations, etc.
Like Carol said above, we enjoy your presence on this board. Keep coming back! You have had some other good suggestions above, about the things you may want to consider if donating your body to a medical school. Also Palliative care is not hospice care, but can be part of hospice care…the care is there to help you with all aspects of how you are feeling, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Your wife may need support also if she is not already getting it.
It may be time to put a time limit on the bitterness that you feel (ie allow yourself 5 minutes of those thoughts, write them out, have a conversation with someone) then set that aside and life your life as fully as you want or can. Focus on what you have instead of what you dont have. Just some sugestions Nebr78, that will hopefully ease your journey…….
Hugs from Vermont,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a NED
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Dear Nebr78,
I just wrote a long reply and hit the wrong button and it vanished, so I will try to recapture my thoughts. I have been wondering how you have been so was glad to see your post. I know you are upset with Big Pharma and the millions being made off cancer patients….that is truly shocking to see how much money cancer treatments and procedures cost.
When a friend who passed away from melanoma 5 years ago, (when I was just starting my journey), I had heard from his wife that he was no longer scheduled to see the oncologist we shared….I guess I found this shocking, because it was like now when he NEEDED the doc the most, he's not part of the team. It felt like that action took HOPE away.
You are married and you are a retired superintendent, and I bet have had a busy and wonderful life. I bet you, like the rest of us, never expected to find yourself here, fighting cancer, instead of living fully in your retirement. I bet there is a lot of joy and pleasure that you can still find in your days; perhaps the simple things in life is a good focus….a sunrise, a sunset, a good book, or tv show, a good cup of coffee, time with loved ones, conversations, etc.
Like Carol said above, we enjoy your presence on this board. Keep coming back! You have had some other good suggestions above, about the things you may want to consider if donating your body to a medical school. Also Palliative care is not hospice care, but can be part of hospice care…the care is there to help you with all aspects of how you are feeling, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Your wife may need support also if she is not already getting it.
It may be time to put a time limit on the bitterness that you feel (ie allow yourself 5 minutes of those thoughts, write them out, have a conversation with someone) then set that aside and life your life as fully as you want or can. Focus on what you have instead of what you dont have. Just some sugestions Nebr78, that will hopefully ease your journey…….
Hugs from Vermont,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a NED
-
- August 2, 2011 at 1:52 am
I understand how you feel. The doctor has moved on to someone he thinks he can help. Doctor's don't like to face their "failure".
For your own sake, I hope you can find forgiveness and peace of mind if these truly are your last years. (see, I'm being nice, it may be your last months or even weeks, I don't know). Forget about any stress, like financial stress. Let it go. Do something you enjoy, as much as you are able. Insist on being as pain free as possible. There is no reason to be in pain.
Don't do one thing that you don't want to do, if you have a choice. You are a cancer survivor, you can do what you want.
Please try to let the anger go. I am a person who has a hard time forgiving, so I understand.
Praying and hoping for you.
Nicki, Stage 3b
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:13 pm
everytime i go get chemo at the fancy new onc's building…i just say…cancer is BIG money…pharma gets it, docs get it…and YOU don't get the quality of care you need…there has to be a special hell for uncompassionate oncs who don't want to deal with healing…period
…i totally understand your decision…good luck and happy trails.
boots
-
- August 2, 2011 at 12:13 pm
everytime i go get chemo at the fancy new onc's building…i just say…cancer is BIG money…pharma gets it, docs get it…and YOU don't get the quality of care you need…there has to be a special hell for uncompassionate oncs who don't want to deal with healing…period
…i totally understand your decision…good luck and happy trails.
boots
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.