› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Kevin is the real winner!
- This topic has 69 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
Vermont_Donna.
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- October 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm
hi everyone this is Brenda, Kevin's wife.
hi everyone this is Brenda, Kevin's wife.
i just wanted to let you all know that Kevin went HOME with the angels this past Sunday. I dont have much to say other than it was a beautiful moment. When we first got the news that his brain mets had began to bleed and there was nothing left to do, i told him that he couldnt go HOME with out letting me know, i wanted to be there holding his hand. So around 11:45pm on saturday i started to fall asleep and was awoken aroung midnight by Kevin trying to say something. I opened my eyes and he was facing me with his eyes slightly open, he was no longer breathing but his heart was still beating, and i knew, he was waking me up to say goodbye. I held his hand, told him i loved him and how proud i was of him, and thanked him for letting me share this moment with him.
Through out this journey with him i was terrified of the thought of losing him, but when the time came, i couldnt help but look at it as a gift. We're not religious people, but i do believe with all my heart that we come to this world to experience, and when we're done we go HOME. And the fact that he is no longer sick, or stressing about scans, or dealing with treatments is the only thing that keeps me going.
That makes Kevin a winner in my book, he handled this battle with gace and finess, and its not about beating the cancer, its about not letting the cancer beat you, and Kevin stayed strong until the end.
I know most of you didnt get to know Kevin as a healthy person, but i hope his attitude through out this will inspire you, and if theres anything to remember Kevin by, is his integrity, compassion, kindess and patience.
Kevin wore a pendant around his neck that read "never be lost", and i hold on to that pendant when ever i start to miss him, i wish i had a pendant for each and everyone of you to remind you that no matter how hopeless you might feel, you are never lost or alone, because Kevin's spirit will always be there holdong your hand.
i love you all, and so does Kevin.
love and healing
<3 Brenda, Kevin's wife.
- Replies
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Dearest Brenda,
I'm not one that believes that you can fall in love with people you've never met, but I'm pretty sure you just proved me wrong.
The wisdom and compassion Kevin and you have shown is remarkable. That special gift not only strengthens you now, but everyone whose heart you touch….and you have touched many.
There can be no doubt that Kevin reached out to hold you as he made his way HOME. Your philosophy about life, experience, and going HOME is comforting and make so much sense. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with us.
Brenda, I know you will carry the Kevin's pendant and his message in your heart always. Please let us know how you're doing now and then. A lot of people here think the world of you.
May you find comfort and peace as you walk this difficult path. Kevin will help guide you.
I love you too,
Hope
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Dearest Brenda,
I'm not one that believes that you can fall in love with people you've never met, but I'm pretty sure you just proved me wrong.
The wisdom and compassion Kevin and you have shown is remarkable. That special gift not only strengthens you now, but everyone whose heart you touch….and you have touched many.
There can be no doubt that Kevin reached out to hold you as he made his way HOME. Your philosophy about life, experience, and going HOME is comforting and make so much sense. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with us.
Brenda, I know you will carry the Kevin's pendant and his message in your heart always. Please let us know how you're doing now and then. A lot of people here think the world of you.
May you find comfort and peace as you walk this difficult path. Kevin will help guide you.
I love you too,
Hope
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Dearest Brenda,
I'm not one that believes that you can fall in love with people you've never met, but I'm pretty sure you just proved me wrong.
The wisdom and compassion Kevin and you have shown is remarkable. That special gift not only strengthens you now, but everyone whose heart you touch….and you have touched many.
There can be no doubt that Kevin reached out to hold you as he made his way HOME. Your philosophy about life, experience, and going HOME is comforting and make so much sense. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with us.
Brenda, I know you will carry the Kevin's pendant and his message in your heart always. Please let us know how you're doing now and then. A lot of people here think the world of you.
May you find comfort and peace as you walk this difficult path. Kevin will help guide you.
I love you too,
Hope
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Dear Brenda,
Reading your post's in many so ways is so reflective of Kevin's. Sometimes I lose myself in the beautiful, courageous, gentle and uplifting words you write and forget if it's Brenda or Kevin. Obviously, you are true soul mates and the love you shared together, shines through in all of your thoughts. Your concern for us, Kevin's MPIP family is so touching that you would be able to reach out to us in your hour of grief…your loss is incomprehendable. But just like Kevin, always finding the silver lining in every moment… you are blessed with the gift of light and love! I can't keep Kevin off my mind, his sweet face constantly reminding me of his courage, his battle and his unending faith that it would get better just around the next corner and he held on to that optimism and strength right to the end. Your story is so beautiful and I am so thankful for you and Kevin that you had that time to hold on to each other until the very end, I'm sure it was your heart beating for his until he could say good bye to you. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us this most precious time.
Kevin did WIN his battle with melanoma. Kevin faced it head on and never backed down and never gave in….. Kevin is and will always be a "hero" in my heart.
I love you both,
Swanee
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Dear Brenda,
Reading your post's in many so ways is so reflective of Kevin's. Sometimes I lose myself in the beautiful, courageous, gentle and uplifting words you write and forget if it's Brenda or Kevin. Obviously, you are true soul mates and the love you shared together, shines through in all of your thoughts. Your concern for us, Kevin's MPIP family is so touching that you would be able to reach out to us in your hour of grief…your loss is incomprehendable. But just like Kevin, always finding the silver lining in every moment… you are blessed with the gift of light and love! I can't keep Kevin off my mind, his sweet face constantly reminding me of his courage, his battle and his unending faith that it would get better just around the next corner and he held on to that optimism and strength right to the end. Your story is so beautiful and I am so thankful for you and Kevin that you had that time to hold on to each other until the very end, I'm sure it was your heart beating for his until he could say good bye to you. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us this most precious time.
Kevin did WIN his battle with melanoma. Kevin faced it head on and never backed down and never gave in….. Kevin is and will always be a "hero" in my heart.
I love you both,
Swanee
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- October 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Dear Brenda,
Reading your post's in many so ways is so reflective of Kevin's. Sometimes I lose myself in the beautiful, courageous, gentle and uplifting words you write and forget if it's Brenda or Kevin. Obviously, you are true soul mates and the love you shared together, shines through in all of your thoughts. Your concern for us, Kevin's MPIP family is so touching that you would be able to reach out to us in your hour of grief…your loss is incomprehendable. But just like Kevin, always finding the silver lining in every moment… you are blessed with the gift of light and love! I can't keep Kevin off my mind, his sweet face constantly reminding me of his courage, his battle and his unending faith that it would get better just around the next corner and he held on to that optimism and strength right to the end. Your story is so beautiful and I am so thankful for you and Kevin that you had that time to hold on to each other until the very end, I'm sure it was your heart beating for his until he could say good bye to you. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us this most precious time.
Kevin did WIN his battle with melanoma. Kevin faced it head on and never backed down and never gave in….. Kevin is and will always be a "hero" in my heart.
I love you both,
Swanee
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- October 6, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Brenda, I feel very privileged to have gotten to "know" Kevin through MPIP. His life force and spirit shone through very strongly, and it was a gift to everyone.
The longer I live the less I understand why some people leave this world so early, but I do realize that time spent here is not what matters most. Kevin spent his brilliantly.
Thank you both for sharing part of this journey,
Lori,
Caregiver to Will (who left 2 years ago today)
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- October 6, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Brenda, I feel very privileged to have gotten to "know" Kevin through MPIP. His life force and spirit shone through very strongly, and it was a gift to everyone.
The longer I live the less I understand why some people leave this world so early, but I do realize that time spent here is not what matters most. Kevin spent his brilliantly.
Thank you both for sharing part of this journey,
Lori,
Caregiver to Will (who left 2 years ago today)
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- October 7, 2012 at 6:57 am
Lori, just wanted to reach out and acknowledge your own journey. I'm sorry about Will.
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 6:57 am
Lori, just wanted to reach out and acknowledge your own journey. I'm sorry about Will.
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 6:57 am
Lori, just wanted to reach out and acknowledge your own journey. I'm sorry about Will.
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 6, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Brenda, I feel very privileged to have gotten to "know" Kevin through MPIP. His life force and spirit shone through very strongly, and it was a gift to everyone.
The longer I live the less I understand why some people leave this world so early, but I do realize that time spent here is not what matters most. Kevin spent his brilliantly.
Thank you both for sharing part of this journey,
Lori,
Caregiver to Will (who left 2 years ago today)
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- October 7, 2012 at 12:22 am
Brenda,
Thank you so much for this message. That you could possibly be thinking of others at this time says so much about you and about Kevin. He and my sons are about the same age, and as I read his posts, I started to think of him as family. What a lovely, strong, brave being he was, and you are the same. I will hold Kevin, you, and his family forever in the light of love and peace. I am grateful to have known you both. I believe I will have the pleasure of meeting you at home someday.
Lear
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- October 7, 2012 at 12:22 am
Brenda,
Thank you so much for this message. That you could possibly be thinking of others at this time says so much about you and about Kevin. He and my sons are about the same age, and as I read his posts, I started to think of him as family. What a lovely, strong, brave being he was, and you are the same. I will hold Kevin, you, and his family forever in the light of love and peace. I am grateful to have known you both. I believe I will have the pleasure of meeting you at home someday.
Lear
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- October 7, 2012 at 12:22 am
Brenda,
Thank you so much for this message. That you could possibly be thinking of others at this time says so much about you and about Kevin. He and my sons are about the same age, and as I read his posts, I started to think of him as family. What a lovely, strong, brave being he was, and you are the same. I will hold Kevin, you, and his family forever in the light of love and peace. I am grateful to have known you both. I believe I will have the pleasure of meeting you at home someday.
Lear
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- October 7, 2012 at 1:17 am
Brenda I pray I have 1/2 the courage Kevin had.Always followed your posts and inspired & touched by each one.You both felt like family to me. Actually you still do.RIP Kevin.My prayers and love go out to you also.Beat the Beast. Al
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- October 7, 2012 at 1:17 am
Brenda I pray I have 1/2 the courage Kevin had.Always followed your posts and inspired & touched by each one.You both felt like family to me. Actually you still do.RIP Kevin.My prayers and love go out to you also.Beat the Beast. Al
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- October 7, 2012 at 1:17 am
Brenda I pray I have 1/2 the courage Kevin had.Always followed your posts and inspired & touched by each one.You both felt like family to me. Actually you still do.RIP Kevin.My prayers and love go out to you also.Beat the Beast. Al
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- October 7, 2012 at 7:02 am
"It's not about beating the cancer, it's about not letting the cancer beat you."
So much wisdom invested in this handful of words. Peace be with you, (((Brenda))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 7:02 am
"It's not about beating the cancer, it's about not letting the cancer beat you."
So much wisdom invested in this handful of words. Peace be with you, (((Brenda))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 10:59 am
I am very sorry Brenda that Kevin is gone.
I am only glad that his passing was peaceful and that Kevin had you by his side till the end.
I lost my dad two months ago holding his hand and in my mother's arms, I'm still struggling with his loss. I felt that same release when he passed that the suffering and stresses were over for him.
I hope that the road ahead of you, brings you peace and healing.
Thinking of you and your loved ones.
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- October 7, 2012 at 10:59 am
I am very sorry Brenda that Kevin is gone.
I am only glad that his passing was peaceful and that Kevin had you by his side till the end.
I lost my dad two months ago holding his hand and in my mother's arms, I'm still struggling with his loss. I felt that same release when he passed that the suffering and stresses were over for him.
I hope that the road ahead of you, brings you peace and healing.
Thinking of you and your loved ones.
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- October 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I'm so sorry you lost your father, (((Nahmi))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I'm so sorry you lost your father, (((Nahmi))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I'm so sorry you lost your father, (((Nahmi))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 10:59 am
I am very sorry Brenda that Kevin is gone.
I am only glad that his passing was peaceful and that Kevin had you by his side till the end.
I lost my dad two months ago holding his hand and in my mother's arms, I'm still struggling with his loss. I felt that same release when he passed that the suffering and stresses were over for him.
I hope that the road ahead of you, brings you peace and healing.
Thinking of you and your loved ones.
Nahmi from Melbourne
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- October 7, 2012 at 7:02 am
"It's not about beating the cancer, it's about not letting the cancer beat you."
So much wisdom invested in this handful of words. Peace be with you, (((Brenda))).
Warmly,
Colleen
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- October 7, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Brenda, I am so very sorry for your loss of Kevin. I only check in here once in a while now but I have always been interested in what was going on in Kevin's journey because he was so young , positive and inspiring. My heart goes out to you.
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I hope you know what a profound effect you and Kevin have had. Kevin's strenght and love came through every one of his posts – I think of him so frequently and know he has inspired me to be a better person. Amazing what an impact he had on so many of us. I hope his parents are reading posts and find some peace knowing what a wonderful son they raised. With gratitude, Fen
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I hope you know what a profound effect you and Kevin have had. Kevin's strenght and love came through every one of his posts – I think of him so frequently and know he has inspired me to be a better person. Amazing what an impact he had on so many of us. I hope his parents are reading posts and find some peace knowing what a wonderful son they raised. With gratitude, Fen
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I hope you know what a profound effect you and Kevin have had. Kevin's strenght and love came through every one of his posts – I think of him so frequently and know he has inspired me to be a better person. Amazing what an impact he had on so many of us. I hope his parents are reading posts and find some peace knowing what a wonderful son they raised. With gratitude, Fen
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Brenda,
I am so sorry for your loss. Kevin was a true inspiration to all of us here on the board. We are all a little better to have "known" you both through your posts. Your love and dedication to each other was apparent. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Tricia
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Brenda,
I am so sorry for your loss. Kevin was a true inspiration to all of us here on the board. We are all a little better to have "known" you both through your posts. Your love and dedication to each other was apparent. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Tricia
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- October 7, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Brenda,
I am so sorry for your loss. Kevin was a true inspiration to all of us here on the board. We are all a little better to have "known" you both through your posts. Your love and dedication to each other was apparent. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Tricia
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- October 8, 2012 at 12:09 am
Dear Brenda,
Both you and Kevin have been, and will continue to be an inspiration to us. You both are in our thoughts and prayers now and always.
Mickey n Jo
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- October 8, 2012 at 12:09 am
Dear Brenda,
Both you and Kevin have been, and will continue to be an inspiration to us. You both are in our thoughts and prayers now and always.
Mickey n Jo
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- October 8, 2012 at 12:09 am
Dear Brenda,
Both you and Kevin have been, and will continue to be an inspiration to us. You both are in our thoughts and prayers now and always.
Mickey n Jo
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- October 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
Brenda, I am deeply saddened to read that Kevin has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care
Frank from Australia
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- October 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
Brenda, I am deeply saddened to read that Kevin has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care
Frank from Australia
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- October 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
Brenda, I am deeply saddened to read that Kevin has passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care
Frank from Australia
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- October 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Dear Brenda,
The tears are falling, and I can't seem to help them. I'm so sorry. It was 3 months ago that I walked the same path with my husband as you did yours. Your courage and grace while facing a difficult battle beside him is not to be overlooked. Hold on to that strength in the coming months. I hope you find peace and healing. You're a wonderful person, and Kevin was so lucky to have you by his side.
Much, much love to you. And many hugs.
Maria
Wife to Mel Warrior David, 7/16/12
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- October 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Dear Brenda,
The tears are falling, and I can't seem to help them. I'm so sorry. It was 3 months ago that I walked the same path with my husband as you did yours. Your courage and grace while facing a difficult battle beside him is not to be overlooked. Hold on to that strength in the coming months. I hope you find peace and healing. You're a wonderful person, and Kevin was so lucky to have you by his side.
Much, much love to you. And many hugs.
Maria
Wife to Mel Warrior David, 7/16/12
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- October 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Dear Brenda,
The tears are falling, and I can't seem to help them. I'm so sorry. It was 3 months ago that I walked the same path with my husband as you did yours. Your courage and grace while facing a difficult battle beside him is not to be overlooked. Hold on to that strength in the coming months. I hope you find peace and healing. You're a wonderful person, and Kevin was so lucky to have you by his side.
Much, much love to you. And many hugs.
Maria
Wife to Mel Warrior David, 7/16/12
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- October 10, 2012 at 3:55 am
Brenda, The others have said it very well. Kevin, like Eric had to be something special to have chosen a woman like you (and Eric chose in Jill). Ya'll don't how much some of us appreciate what ya'll did carrying for "your men". Than you for being the woman and Lady that you are.
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- October 10, 2012 at 3:55 am
Brenda, The others have said it very well. Kevin, like Eric had to be something special to have chosen a woman like you (and Eric chose in Jill). Ya'll don't how much some of us appreciate what ya'll did carrying for "your men". Than you for being the woman and Lady that you are.
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- October 10, 2012 at 3:55 am
Brenda, The others have said it very well. Kevin, like Eric had to be something special to have chosen a woman like you (and Eric chose in Jill). Ya'll don't how much some of us appreciate what ya'll did carrying for "your men". Than you for being the woman and Lady that you are.
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- October 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm
I actually just checked in today to see if there was anything new about Kevin. He was so young, and so positive, and for some reason he made me feel stronger. I have prayed for him and for you. I am sorry for your loss and agree that Kevin is the real winner.
After reading your post, with such grace and strength, it is easy to see why Kevin loved you. You are in my prayers. BethA 3/B
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- October 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm
I actually just checked in today to see if there was anything new about Kevin. He was so young, and so positive, and for some reason he made me feel stronger. I have prayed for him and for you. I am sorry for your loss and agree that Kevin is the real winner.
After reading your post, with such grace and strength, it is easy to see why Kevin loved you. You are in my prayers. BethA 3/B
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- October 12, 2012 at 1:49 am
Dear Brenda,
I always read Kevin's posts and now yours as he was such a courageous warrior and so authentic and genuine. I lost my ex husband, father of my four children this summer to lung cancer. He was critically ill for a very short time and passed away, with mysel and his 5 children surrounding his bed. He had sliped into a coma two days earlier but before his last two breaths he opened his eyes, like Kevin did, and gazed into my eyes and then looked around the bed at his children and then tslowly took his last two breaths and quietly passed away. I truly believe this was when his soul was leaving his body and his way of saying "I'm ok" and loving us greatly. I feel like a gift was given to me, that I witnessed a miracle. My daughter, age 21 said she feels haunted by this experience but I have told her to think about the comfort she gave him by being there, that he KNEW she was there, he could feel our love and support, and know now that he is out of pain and suffering such as what Kevin also may have been feeling. It is so very hard but I know what you mean when yopu wrote of the experience of Kevin passing away. I miss my ex terribly (we were very close) but he is HOME now, like Kevin.
Namaste,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a
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- October 12, 2012 at 1:49 am
Dear Brenda,
I always read Kevin's posts and now yours as he was such a courageous warrior and so authentic and genuine. I lost my ex husband, father of my four children this summer to lung cancer. He was critically ill for a very short time and passed away, with mysel and his 5 children surrounding his bed. He had sliped into a coma two days earlier but before his last two breaths he opened his eyes, like Kevin did, and gazed into my eyes and then looked around the bed at his children and then tslowly took his last two breaths and quietly passed away. I truly believe this was when his soul was leaving his body and his way of saying "I'm ok" and loving us greatly. I feel like a gift was given to me, that I witnessed a miracle. My daughter, age 21 said she feels haunted by this experience but I have told her to think about the comfort she gave him by being there, that he KNEW she was there, he could feel our love and support, and know now that he is out of pain and suffering such as what Kevin also may have been feeling. It is so very hard but I know what you mean when yopu wrote of the experience of Kevin passing away. I miss my ex terribly (we were very close) but he is HOME now, like Kevin.
Namaste,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a
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- October 12, 2012 at 1:49 am
Dear Brenda,
I always read Kevin's posts and now yours as he was such a courageous warrior and so authentic and genuine. I lost my ex husband, father of my four children this summer to lung cancer. He was critically ill for a very short time and passed away, with mysel and his 5 children surrounding his bed. He had sliped into a coma two days earlier but before his last two breaths he opened his eyes, like Kevin did, and gazed into my eyes and then looked around the bed at his children and then tslowly took his last two breaths and quietly passed away. I truly believe this was when his soul was leaving his body and his way of saying "I'm ok" and loving us greatly. I feel like a gift was given to me, that I witnessed a miracle. My daughter, age 21 said she feels haunted by this experience but I have told her to think about the comfort she gave him by being there, that he KNEW she was there, he could feel our love and support, and know now that he is out of pain and suffering such as what Kevin also may have been feeling. It is so very hard but I know what you mean when yopu wrote of the experience of Kevin passing away. I miss my ex terribly (we were very close) but he is HOME now, like Kevin.
Namaste,
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a
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- October 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm
I actually just checked in today to see if there was anything new about Kevin. He was so young, and so positive, and for some reason he made me feel stronger. I have prayed for him and for you. I am sorry for your loss and agree that Kevin is the real winner.
After reading your post, with such grace and strength, it is easy to see why Kevin loved you. You are in my prayers. BethA 3/B
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