eshaw

I am a little concerned by the replies to "Everymoment". I imagine that all of us, ALL OF US, regardless of our stages or current treatment protocol go to the dark place from time to time. The place that creeps up on you when you feel a swollen lymph node that you've never noticed before, even though you have been fighting off a nasty chest virus for a week. We all know that dark place and we can all speak to the fear that snatches at your throat when you look at your family and think "what if…".

Some of us spend too much time in the dark place, and some of us only the most fleeting moments before they beat it back with brave optimism. But we've all been there and this board is supposed to be a place where we can admit our fears, find comfort in not being alone, and get to a better place.

I know exactly what it is like to be afraid of the other shoe dropping and I feel no shame in talking about it. As long as we don't dwell there, that we don't allow our fears to dictate our life path, I'm here to tell you that it's okay. It doesn't mean that I need counseling (thought it certainly can be helpful), it doesn't mean that I've allowed cancer to run my life, or allowed it to win any battle over me. It just means that I am afraid of getting sick, of my children growing up without a mom, of my husband being alone….etc. Perhaps I'm going out on a limb her, but I think these are things that we all fear because they tether us to life. They are why we fight. Our fear of losing them drives us, enrages us, makes us put on our battle gear with gusto.

I was diagnosed when I had a 9 week old newborn, Everymoment. I get it. And I'm sure every single person who deals with this damn disease gets it too. But, try to take deep breaths through the dark place, because your life is the sun and your time is much better spent there with the people you love. However, until the darkness lifts, we are all here to support you.

I am a little concerned by the replies to "Everymoment". I imagine that all of us, ALL OF US, regardless of our stages or current treatment protocol go to the dark place from time to time. The place that creeps up on you when you feel a swollen lymph node that you've never noticed before, even though you have been fighting off a nasty chest virus for a week. We all know that dark place and we can all speak to the fear that snatches at your throat when you look at your family and think "what if…".

Some of us spend too much time in the dark place, and some of us only the most fleeting moments before they beat it back with brave optimism. But we've all been there and this board is supposed to be a place where we can admit our fears, find comfort in not being alone, and get to a better place.

I know exactly what it is like to be afraid of the other shoe dropping and I feel no shame in talking about it. As long as we don't dwell there, that we don't allow our fears to dictate our life path, I'm here to tell you that it's okay. It doesn't mean that I need counseling (thought it certainly can be helpful), it doesn't mean that I've allowed cancer to run my life, or allowed it to win any battle over me. It just means that I am afraid of getting sick, of my children growing up without a mom, of my husband being alone….etc. Perhaps I'm going out on a limb her, but I think these are things that we all fear because they tether us to life. They are why we fight. Our fear of losing them drives us, enrages us, makes us put on our battle gear with gusto.

I was diagnosed when I had a 9 week old newborn, Everymoment. I get it. And I'm sure every single person who deals with this damn disease gets it too. But, try to take deep breaths through the dark place, because your life is the sun and your time is much better spent there with the people you love. However, until the darkness lifts, we are all here to support you.