Waiting just ain’t easy…..

Hi Delora!

Yes, the hurry up and wait is absolutely one of the hardest parts of dealing with all of this. And unfortunately, aside from seeking refuge in my faith, family and friends, I don't have any good way of making it any easier.  

I found out my results after a derm appointment.  I went in alone, on a busy day, inbetween two other appointments.  In many ways I went because it was on my list of things to do and I'd already paid for the tests.  I didn't  expect any bad news, I expected the appointment to just be a formality.  I sure didn't expect to be completely blown out of the water and have my whole life changed.  I didn't take notes, I didn't'[t think, I didn't even have any questions (a rarity for me, I'm afraid) I also didn't know anything, zilch, squat, about melanoma.  So I very much felt as if I got dropped down the rabbit hole that day.

That was 5 years ago.  I know more now.  For me, I don't go to any mel related appointments alone.  I bring my best friend. And if she can't go, I take another best friend.   I need someone else there to hear what the dr says, help me remember, take notes and make sure I've asked my questions, even if they are now, because of new news, irrelevant.  I think if for some reason I had to go alone (and actually I thought I would have to go alone, tomorrow, to get my pathology results) not only would I bring my notes with my questions and comments written out, but  I would record the interaction, so I could remember how and what was said.  I'm usually fairly quick on the uptake, (I have a social science research Ph.D. where my job is to listen, record and analyze interaction and conversation) but for me there's something about being that vulnerable and real that I'm not really able to keep a researcher's distance.  Fortunately, another best friend (I am blessed with a good handful) has come through Bangkok this weekend, and offered to go with me tomorrow.  

Know you're not alone in this.  Make your plan for what you'll do when you get the call (sit down, have pen/paper in hand with questions…). Think it through ahead of time, so when the call comes you are prepared and present for it. Think about what you want to do after you've heard the news (either way), so again you have a fall back plan for finding your way out of where ever you've landed.  Then if you want to ditch the plan, no worries, it's your plan.  But you are the one making the decisions for you.

Anyway, this is what I do and whatever wisdom I have.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow as I wait in the hospital, and praying that you can find islands of peace and refuge where ever you are.

Blessings,

Julie

Hi Delora!

Yes, the hurry up and wait is absolutely one of the hardest parts of dealing with all of this. And unfortunately, aside from seeking refuge in my faith, family and friends, I don't have any good way of making it any easier.  

I found out my results after a derm appointment.  I went in alone, on a busy day, inbetween two other appointments.  In many ways I went because it was on my list of things to do and I'd already paid for the tests.  I didn't  expect any bad news, I expected the appointment to just be a formality.  I sure didn't expect to be completely blown out of the water and have my whole life changed.  I didn't take notes, I didn't'[t think, I didn't even have any questions (a rarity for me, I'm afraid) I also didn't know anything, zilch, squat, about melanoma.  So I very much felt as if I got dropped down the rabbit hole that day.

That was 5 years ago.  I know more now.  For me, I don't go to any mel related appointments alone.  I bring my best friend. And if she can't go, I take another best friend.   I need someone else there to hear what the dr says, help me remember, take notes and make sure I've asked my questions, even if they are now, because of new news, irrelevant.  I think if for some reason I had to go alone (and actually I thought I would have to go alone, tomorrow, to get my pathology results) not only would I bring my notes with my questions and comments written out, but  I would record the interaction, so I could remember how and what was said.  I'm usually fairly quick on the uptake, (I have a social science research Ph.D. where my job is to listen, record and analyze interaction and conversation) but for me there's something about being that vulnerable and real that I'm not really able to keep a researcher's distance.  Fortunately, another best friend (I am blessed with a good handful) has come through Bangkok this weekend, and offered to go with me tomorrow.  

Know you're not alone in this.  Make your plan for what you'll do when you get the call (sit down, have pen/paper in hand with questions…). Think it through ahead of time, so when the call comes you are prepared and present for it. Think about what you want to do after you've heard the news (either way), so again you have a fall back plan for finding your way out of where ever you've landed.  Then if you want to ditch the plan, no worries, it's your plan.  But you are the one making the decisions for you.

Anyway, this is what I do and whatever wisdom I have.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow as I wait in the hospital, and praying that you can find islands of peace and refuge where ever you are.

Blessings,

Julie

Hi Delora!

Yes, the hurry up and wait is absolutely one of the hardest parts of dealing with all of this. And unfortunately, aside from seeking refuge in my faith, family and friends, I don't have any good way of making it any easier.  

I found out my results after a derm appointment.  I went in alone, on a busy day, inbetween two other appointments.  In many ways I went because it was on my list of things to do and I'd already paid for the tests.  I didn't  expect any bad news, I expected the appointment to just be a formality.  I sure didn't expect to be completely blown out of the water and have my whole life changed.  I didn't take notes, I didn't'[t think, I didn't even have any questions (a rarity for me, I'm afraid) I also didn't know anything, zilch, squat, about melanoma.  So I very much felt as if I got dropped down the rabbit hole that day.

That was 5 years ago.  I know more now.  For me, I don't go to any mel related appointments alone.  I bring my best friend. And if she can't go, I take another best friend.   I need someone else there to hear what the dr says, help me remember, take notes and make sure I've asked my questions, even if they are now, because of new news, irrelevant.  I think if for some reason I had to go alone (and actually I thought I would have to go alone, tomorrow, to get my pathology results) not only would I bring my notes with my questions and comments written out, but  I would record the interaction, so I could remember how and what was said.  I'm usually fairly quick on the uptake, (I have a social science research Ph.D. where my job is to listen, record and analyze interaction and conversation) but for me there's something about being that vulnerable and real that I'm not really able to keep a researcher's distance.  Fortunately, another best friend (I am blessed with a good handful) has come through Bangkok this weekend, and offered to go with me tomorrow.  

Know you're not alone in this.  Make your plan for what you'll do when you get the call (sit down, have pen/paper in hand with questions…). Think it through ahead of time, so when the call comes you are prepared and present for it. Think about what you want to do after you've heard the news (either way), so again you have a fall back plan for finding your way out of where ever you've landed.  Then if you want to ditch the plan, no worries, it's your plan.  But you are the one making the decisions for you.

Anyway, this is what I do and whatever wisdom I have.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow as I wait in the hospital, and praying that you can find islands of peace and refuge where ever you are.

Blessings,

Julie

I have scans coming up in two weeks myself so will be going through the same thing. I am also in NC (Mooresville) and have heard a lot of positive things about Dr. White. My advice on the call… glass/bottle of wine to take the edge off :). Hope all goes well.

Kevin

I have scans coming up in two weeks myself so will be going through the same thing. I am also in NC (Mooresville) and have heard a lot of positive things about Dr. White. My advice on the call… glass/bottle of wine to take the edge off :). Hope all goes well.

Kevin

I have scans coming up in two weeks myself so will be going through the same thing. I am also in NC (Mooresville) and have heard a lot of positive things about Dr. White. My advice on the call… glass/bottle of wine to take the edge off :). Hope all goes well.

Kevin