Update!

I think all Stage IV patients have been where you are mentally and emotionally (I know I have).  As you're already doing, you push through the fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, frustration, etc., focus on your kids and move forward.  You get your gameplan in place and then do your best to get back to a normal routine in the "new normal" of your life.  You continue to do your research so you know what your options are for plan B, and you keep moving forward.

I think all Stage IV patients have been where you are mentally and emotionally (I know I have).  As you're already doing, you push through the fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, frustration, etc., focus on your kids and move forward.  You get your gameplan in place and then do your best to get back to a normal routine in the "new normal" of your life.  You continue to do your research so you know what your options are for plan B, and you keep moving forward.

I think all Stage IV patients have been where you are mentally and emotionally (I know I have).  As you're already doing, you push through the fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, frustration, etc., focus on your kids and move forward.  You get your gameplan in place and then do your best to get back to a normal routine in the "new normal" of your life.  You continue to do your research so you know what your options are for plan B, and you keep moving forward.

I understand the shock you must be going through right now. Your anxiety and desperation are perfectly normal. But really, melanoma is not the death sentence it was even 2 or 3 years ago. Several effective new treatments have been introduced in the last few years and several more are in the pipeline. True, we don't yet have anything that works 100% of the time in 100% of the patients. But many, many people are getting long-term remission– even seeming "cures"– from one or another of the new drugs and there is a very good chance that you will be one of them. 

You are going through one of the most emotionally difficult phases of the disease right now. You're newly diagnosed, you don't yet know the full extent of your disease, you have no solid direction to go in, and you're probably reading lots of scary (and out-of-date) statistics. Once all the testing is done and you and  your doctor have developed a solid plan of action, you will feel much more optimistic and in control. So try to be patient and stay positive. Things will get better.

And please don't start with the "wouldda, shoulda, coulda" stuff. You handled your melanoma exactly right. You took the right steps at the right time. If you had had a biopsy sooner or if you had had lung surgery earlier there is absolutely no guarantee that the outcome would have been any different. Melanoma is a very tricky disease and nobody can predict what will happen with any given patient. All you can do– all any of us can do– is to make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time and then never look back. You and your husband will probably have to make many difficult and confusing decisions in the months and years to come. Do your research, ask all the questions you can think of, and then take the plunge. Make a choice. Then pray for the best and resist the temptation to second-guess yourself if things don't work out quite right. None of us has a crystal ball.

I understand the shock you must be going through right now. Your anxiety and desperation are perfectly normal. But really, melanoma is not the death sentence it was even 2 or 3 years ago. Several effective new treatments have been introduced in the last few years and several more are in the pipeline. True, we don't yet have anything that works 100% of the time in 100% of the patients. But many, many people are getting long-term remission– even seeming "cures"– from one or another of the new drugs and there is a very good chance that you will be one of them. 

You are going through one of the most emotionally difficult phases of the disease right now. You're newly diagnosed, you don't yet know the full extent of your disease, you have no solid direction to go in, and you're probably reading lots of scary (and out-of-date) statistics. Once all the testing is done and you and  your doctor have developed a solid plan of action, you will feel much more optimistic and in control. So try to be patient and stay positive. Things will get better.

And please don't start with the "wouldda, shoulda, coulda" stuff. You handled your melanoma exactly right. You took the right steps at the right time. If you had had a biopsy sooner or if you had had lung surgery earlier there is absolutely no guarantee that the outcome would have been any different. Melanoma is a very tricky disease and nobody can predict what will happen with any given patient. All you can do– all any of us can do– is to make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time and then never look back. You and your husband will probably have to make many difficult and confusing decisions in the months and years to come. Do your research, ask all the questions you can think of, and then take the plunge. Make a choice. Then pray for the best and resist the temptation to second-guess yourself if things don't work out quite right. None of us has a crystal ball.

I understand the shock you must be going through right now. Your anxiety and desperation are perfectly normal. But really, melanoma is not the death sentence it was even 2 or 3 years ago. Several effective new treatments have been introduced in the last few years and several more are in the pipeline. True, we don't yet have anything that works 100% of the time in 100% of the patients. But many, many people are getting long-term remission– even seeming "cures"– from one or another of the new drugs and there is a very good chance that you will be one of them. 

You are going through one of the most emotionally difficult phases of the disease right now. You're newly diagnosed, you don't yet know the full extent of your disease, you have no solid direction to go in, and you're probably reading lots of scary (and out-of-date) statistics. Once all the testing is done and you and  your doctor have developed a solid plan of action, you will feel much more optimistic and in control. So try to be patient and stay positive. Things will get better.

And please don't start with the "wouldda, shoulda, coulda" stuff. You handled your melanoma exactly right. You took the right steps at the right time. If you had had a biopsy sooner or if you had had lung surgery earlier there is absolutely no guarantee that the outcome would have been any different. Melanoma is a very tricky disease and nobody can predict what will happen with any given patient. All you can do– all any of us can do– is to make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time and then never look back. You and your husband will probably have to make many difficult and confusing decisions in the months and years to come. Do your research, ask all the questions you can think of, and then take the plunge. Make a choice. Then pray for the best and resist the temptation to second-guess yourself if things don't work out quite right. None of us has a crystal ball.

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I am so sorry it has progressed.  That gut instinct does prove itself time and time again.  Your story inspires many of us to pursue more aggressive treatment. I will be following your post and wish you the best of luck through this next step!

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I am so sorry it has progressed.  That gut instinct does prove itself time and time again.  Your story inspires many of us to pursue more aggressive treatment. I will be following your post and wish you the best of luck through this next step!

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I am so sorry it has progressed.  That gut instinct does prove itself time and time again.  Your story inspires many of us to pursue more aggressive treatment. I will be following your post and wish you the best of luck through this next step!