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Since I don’t confess to a priest …

Forums General Melanoma Community Since I don’t confess to a priest …

  • Post
    TinaR
    Participant

      I have a confession — this is as good a place as the dark confessional closet…

      I'm thrilled my son moved back in late last night.  Today- I had the urge to bake and make a decent dinner. I've not had the urge since he left home in May. Finally, someone to eat my food and lots of it. Not that I didn't love cooking for my daughter, I do, but she eats like a bird and she isn't in to baked goods or much of anything else– mostly soup, plain chicken / fish on salad. Blah.

      I have a confession — this is as good a place as the dark confessional closet…

      I'm thrilled my son moved back in late last night.  Today- I had the urge to bake and make a decent dinner. I've not had the urge since he left home in May. Finally, someone to eat my food and lots of it. Not that I didn't love cooking for my daughter, I do, but she eats like a bird and she isn't in to baked goods or much of anything else– mostly soup, plain chicken / fish on salad. Blah.

      I am so happy and shamed by my glee in light of the broken hearts.  That is all.

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    • Replies
        Kimmer
        Participant

          Prolly better to have an unmarried broken heart as opposed to a broken marriage and a broken heart.

          Hats off to Son for recognizing crazy.  It has a way of sneaking up on ya.  Please tell me he didn't actually quit his new job???

          Cook and bake away, Rox.  I loved cooking for my Son for the couple months he was here after his head injury this summer.  He ate everything.  With Gusto.  (I cried a few times at the grocery, after he went home last month,  when I walked by stuff he likes to eat.  See how crazy sneaks up?)

          Luckily Hubs is a good eater too and Son is calling for recipes.

          Enjoy having him home.

          K.

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          Kimmer
          Participant

            Prolly better to have an unmarried broken heart as opposed to a broken marriage and a broken heart.

            Hats off to Son for recognizing crazy.  It has a way of sneaking up on ya.  Please tell me he didn't actually quit his new job???

            Cook and bake away, Rox.  I loved cooking for my Son for the couple months he was here after his head injury this summer.  He ate everything.  With Gusto.  (I cried a few times at the grocery, after he went home last month,  when I walked by stuff he likes to eat.  See how crazy sneaks up?)

            Luckily Hubs is a good eater too and Son is calling for recipes.

            Enjoy having him home.

            K.

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              TinaR
              Participant

                Thanks, I'm going to enjoy whatever time I have left…I'm  so glad he is home and hopefully it will work out for the best. Unfortunately– he was one of the 8 people last hired who were furloughed from the company. He hopes to be called back ( I'm not so sure that will happen)– first they said a 4 week layoff…then they took the time-frame away.  It was one of the reasons they wedding was called off. He has started looking for another position…all over the country- you can't win. I wanted six kids…you'd never run out of baking opportunities with that many!

                Crying in the grocery store sounds very familiar- but not crazy!!   I usually cry in the shower or sometimes in the car. In addition to not letting anyone I know see me for reasons of pride…I'm not the most attractive crybaby ;)   Once I start, I can't stop-lots of wet, noisy hiccuping, red/puffy eyes/nose. Some ladies look lovely when they tear up – I hope you looked good while boo-hooing at the market :)  I'm also glad you had a chance to relive the mom/son cooking joy!

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                TinaR
                Participant

                  Thanks, I'm going to enjoy whatever time I have left…I'm  so glad he is home and hopefully it will work out for the best. Unfortunately– he was one of the 8 people last hired who were furloughed from the company. He hopes to be called back ( I'm not so sure that will happen)– first they said a 4 week layoff…then they took the time-frame away.  It was one of the reasons they wedding was called off. He has started looking for another position…all over the country- you can't win. I wanted six kids…you'd never run out of baking opportunities with that many!

                  Crying in the grocery store sounds very familiar- but not crazy!!   I usually cry in the shower or sometimes in the car. In addition to not letting anyone I know see me for reasons of pride…I'm not the most attractive crybaby ;)   Once I start, I can't stop-lots of wet, noisy hiccuping, red/puffy eyes/nose. Some ladies look lovely when they tear up – I hope you looked good while boo-hooing at the market :)  I'm also glad you had a chance to relive the mom/son cooking joy!

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                BillMFl
                Participant

                   Well gotta admit the last thing I would want is a kid moving back again. But I.m sure u r a real good mom.

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                  BillMFl
                  Participant

                     Well gotta admit the last thing I would want is a kid moving back again. But I.m sure u r a real good mom.

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                      TinaR
                      Participant

                        Well, Bill. THAT's because you're a typical man ;)  I'm sure there are a lot of women who feel the same way you do…but I have a different idea about that…not so sure it's the label of 'good mom'…. more 'greedy, over protective, clingy mom'wink

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                        TinaR
                        Participant

                          Well, Bill. THAT's because you're a typical man ;)  I'm sure there are a lot of women who feel the same way you do…but I have a different idea about that…not so sure it's the label of 'good mom'…. more 'greedy, over protective, clingy mom'wink

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                        LV
                        Participant

                          Don't feel guilty! Who wouldn't be happy to see someone they love step back from jumping off a cliff? And if that means you get some joy from cooking again, so much the better.

                          I also lost my joy of cooking – after my husband died. I would stand there in the kitchen and look around and wonder how I used to do it. Even if my sons came home for a visit, I couldn't put a meal together to save my life. And this after being a really good cook all my life. It is coming back to me, slowly, finally.

                          Here's a meaty dip recipe that men seem to love. You can halve the recipe for a smaller crowd.

                          Buffalo Chicken Dip:

                          3 lbs chicken breast, cooked and shredded or chopped.

                          2 8-oz sticks of chream cheese

                          i jar Marie's Blue Cheese dressing

                          i  12-oz bottle Crystal Hot Sauce

                          8 oz shredded cheddar cheese

                           

                          Mix chicken with the entire bottle of hot sauce, and spread evenly in a 13×9 pan.

                          Melt cream cheese with blue cheese dressing, and pour over chicken mixture.

                          Top with grated cheese, and bake at 350 until golden and bubbly.

                          Serve with extra thick tortilla chips, or Frito's Scoops.

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                          LV
                          Participant

                            Don't feel guilty! Who wouldn't be happy to see someone they love step back from jumping off a cliff? And if that means you get some joy from cooking again, so much the better.

                            I also lost my joy of cooking – after my husband died. I would stand there in the kitchen and look around and wonder how I used to do it. Even if my sons came home for a visit, I couldn't put a meal together to save my life. And this after being a really good cook all my life. It is coming back to me, slowly, finally.

                            Here's a meaty dip recipe that men seem to love. You can halve the recipe for a smaller crowd.

                            Buffalo Chicken Dip:

                            3 lbs chicken breast, cooked and shredded or chopped.

                            2 8-oz sticks of chream cheese

                            i jar Marie's Blue Cheese dressing

                            i  12-oz bottle Crystal Hot Sauce

                            8 oz shredded cheddar cheese

                             

                            Mix chicken with the entire bottle of hot sauce, and spread evenly in a 13×9 pan.

                            Melt cream cheese with blue cheese dressing, and pour over chicken mixture.

                            Top with grated cheese, and bake at 350 until golden and bubbly.

                            Serve with extra thick tortilla chips, or Frito's Scoops.

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                              TinaR
                              Participant

                                The recipe sounds very tasty. I'm sure my son will love it, thanks!

                                Stress, sadness, trauma can really take a toll…glad to hear you are getting some of your cooking skills back. Strange how the mind works  this way….  I know that many people here have said that after their cancer diagnosis they had a hard time concentrating— things that seem so mindless…like watching TV or doing laundry…they just couldn't keep their mind on focus. Even reading a magazine. Someone told me they read a magazine from back to front   – I don't know why this works- but it does!

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                                TinaR
                                Participant

                                  The recipe sounds very tasty. I'm sure my son will love it, thanks!

                                  Stress, sadness, trauma can really take a toll…glad to hear you are getting some of your cooking skills back. Strange how the mind works  this way….  I know that many people here have said that after their cancer diagnosis they had a hard time concentrating— things that seem so mindless…like watching TV or doing laundry…they just couldn't keep their mind on focus. Even reading a magazine. Someone told me they read a magazine from back to front   – I don't know why this works- but it does!

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                                jag
                                Participant

                                  You need to find more productive use of your time other than striving to be Barbara Billingsley.  Reminds me of all of the grandmothers that come in with 20lb chihuahuas with no neck that want me to explain why it won't eat(maybe because it is full?).  Time to kick him out of the nest.  In 10 years he will consider your house his house.  I've seen it happen.  At this point you are doing more harm than good.  Don't make him into one of those reality TV shows where the hippopotamus can't get out of the bed and the family describes how much the hippo eats.  Who is cooking for the hippo?  Nobody gets so fat that you need to knock out a wall and use a crane with a construction truck to bring them to the fat farm by themselves.

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                                  jag
                                  Participant

                                    You need to find more productive use of your time other than striving to be Barbara Billingsley.  Reminds me of all of the grandmothers that come in with 20lb chihuahuas with no neck that want me to explain why it won't eat(maybe because it is full?).  Time to kick him out of the nest.  In 10 years he will consider your house his house.  I've seen it happen.  At this point you are doing more harm than good.  Don't make him into one of those reality TV shows where the hippopotamus can't get out of the bed and the family describes how much the hippo eats.  Who is cooking for the hippo?  Nobody gets so fat that you need to knock out a wall and use a crane with a construction truck to bring them to the fat farm by themselves.

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                                      TinaR
                                      Participant

                                        A more productive use of my time? You're  right,  there are much more useful vocations than raising little humans.   I'm less of a person because I was not made for greater things, but not everyone is able to proved the great services you, and most everyone else, were destined for in this life.  [Gosh, I had no idea how many anal gland expressers we needed !!!! ]

                                        No, I've accepted  my lot in life-the ueless, stay at home mother of two. The Ms. Billingsley's of the world can only  attempt to make up for our waste of space by being available to do the meaningless volunteer jobs the better people can't during the working hours. Pathetic, I know.  I realize that the only worthy life goals involve the making of money, but I'm just not mentally able to do that sort of thing…it's tough being a simple gal with little worthwhile abilities .

                                        As for my children blowing up …I'm fortunate that my kids have excellent metabolisms…they can eat normal amounts of the food I prepare and remain slim and productive. Now, if I can only help them get over their shame about having a mother who met their every need and provided them an idyllic childhood. I don't know how they are going to make it carrying that enormous weight around, poor things. 

                                        John, where were you when I was deciding my future? If only I had the benefit of your knowledge AND the list of the most important things in life. All I'm left with is my wasted life- I'm heartbroken.  Good thing I made a nice pecan pumpkin cake for dessert today…I think I'll have to polish it off so my kids don't get porky– I'm a useless blob anyway…it won't matter what the calories will do to me….

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                                        jag
                                        Participant

                                          Well. I'm glad to see that you have come to appreciate me.  You are welcome.

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                                          jag
                                          Participant

                                            and I accept your apology.  

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                                            TinaR
                                            Participant

                                              Oh, I appreciate you for what you're worth, alrighty…. AND I'm glad that you've finally come to accept the kind of apology you're to expect from me… :)

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                                              jag
                                              Participant

                                                Damn, I wanted to create a whole Bugs Bunny argument, remember, like the one on the darkside?

                                                Yes you did, No I didn't, Yes you did, No I didn't, No you didn't, Yes I did.

                                                That would have been funny.

                                                Anyway, what was your popcorn recipe from the other day?, sounded tasty.  Made some myself tonight and all I had was salt and paprika.   

                                                Do tell.

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                                                TinaR
                                                Participant

                                                  Oh, there will never be another wonderful Darkside ( the fun part, not the Fudd part)…we have to give that dream up. Besides it's ever so much better since that place closed down. The hoots and howls we have here…like my popcorn recipe…

                                                   I pop it in a  brown paper bag in the microwave. Drizzle with olive oil ( Weight Watchers insists you have 2 Tbls olive oil a day…I'm not on Weight Watchers, but I like the rule and olive oil  so I follow it ). I sprinkle with black pepper and Parmesan cheese. Yum tasty. I eat it with a spoon… because I don't like the oily goo on my fingertips. It also makes it sorta special- in that way when people see you eating popcorn with a spoon they look at you funny. I don't care about that negative kind of thing…but you probably already know that about me…

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                                                  TinaR
                                                  Participant

                                                    Oh, there will never be another wonderful Darkside ( the fun part, not the Fudd part)…we have to give that dream up. Besides it's ever so much better since that place closed down. The hoots and howls we have here…like my popcorn recipe…

                                                     I pop it in a  brown paper bag in the microwave. Drizzle with olive oil ( Weight Watchers insists you have 2 Tbls olive oil a day…I'm not on Weight Watchers, but I like the rule and olive oil  so I follow it ). I sprinkle with black pepper and Parmesan cheese. Yum tasty. I eat it with a spoon… because I don't like the oily goo on my fingertips. It also makes it sorta special- in that way when people see you eating popcorn with a spoon they look at you funny. I don't care about that negative kind of thing…but you probably already know that about me…

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                                                    jag
                                                    Participant

                                                      Damn, I wanted to create a whole Bugs Bunny argument, remember, like the one on the darkside?

                                                      Yes you did, No I didn't, Yes you did, No I didn't, No you didn't, Yes I did.

                                                      That would have been funny.

                                                      Anyway, what was your popcorn recipe from the other day?, sounded tasty.  Made some myself tonight and all I had was salt and paprika.   

                                                      Do tell.

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                                                      TinaR
                                                      Participant

                                                        Oh, I appreciate you for what you're worth, alrighty…. AND I'm glad that you've finally come to accept the kind of apology you're to expect from me… :)

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                                                        jag
                                                        Participant

                                                          and I accept your apology.  

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                                                          jag
                                                          Participant

                                                            Well. I'm glad to see that you have come to appreciate me.  You are welcome.

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                                                            TinaR
                                                            Participant

                                                              A more productive use of my time? You're  right,  there are much more useful vocations than raising little humans.   I'm less of a person because I was not made for greater things, but not everyone is able to proved the great services you, and most everyone else, were destined for in this life.  [Gosh, I had no idea how many anal gland expressers we needed !!!! ]

                                                              No, I've accepted  my lot in life-the ueless, stay at home mother of two. The Ms. Billingsley's of the world can only  attempt to make up for our waste of space by being available to do the meaningless volunteer jobs the better people can't during the working hours. Pathetic, I know.  I realize that the only worthy life goals involve the making of money, but I'm just not mentally able to do that sort of thing…it's tough being a simple gal with little worthwhile abilities .

                                                              As for my children blowing up …I'm fortunate that my kids have excellent metabolisms…they can eat normal amounts of the food I prepare and remain slim and productive. Now, if I can only help them get over their shame about having a mother who met their every need and provided them an idyllic childhood. I don't know how they are going to make it carrying that enormous weight around, poor things. 

                                                              John, where were you when I was deciding my future? If only I had the benefit of your knowledge AND the list of the most important things in life. All I'm left with is my wasted life- I'm heartbroken.  Good thing I made a nice pecan pumpkin cake for dessert today…I think I'll have to polish it off so my kids don't get porky– I'm a useless blob anyway…it won't matter what the calories will do to me….

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                                                            Bonnie Lea
                                                            Participant

                                                              Oh I know your feelings on this.  My son is older than your son, but one time in a time far far behind us.  he too moved home after being on his own (well sort of)  it was a joy.  (he had already been toilet trained, and was in charge of his own household.  He nagged ME!  over my cleaning chores, till I said what I often said when he came up to my knees, if you think youu can do better  BE MY GUEST   it lasted a wee while, and he did great.

                                                              Just when I got used to the new son….. he moved out.  Now his personal situation has changed drastically, and even though we celebrated a wedding just last year, SHE has decided she cannot live up here, and doesnt want to be married anymore so in one fell swoop, I lost…. DIL  Grandkids, and the title of "my son is married"  after many weeks of heartbreak and trying to understand, and him have professional help with counsellors (she refused)  my son is well on his way.  He will not be moving  home  (he has his own home) 

                                                              My dotter on the other hand, has told us that IF SHE EVER MARRIES it will be  a destination wedding perhaps to Cuba and if I wanted to attend I have to get off my big fat butt and get a passport.  (that may well make me to it, and then I can come to visit some of you who are close to the border)

                                                              What does a melanoma/Breast Cancer survivor, boobless wonder wear to that type of wedding,  now Rox I ask you since you are sooo well versed in MOG  It can translate to MOB me thinks.  I could go and smell like a coconut with slathered on goop.  stand under a umbrella with a cute Cabana Boy holding it over my head.  (as FOB) will be busy trying to step around sand crabs, escorting number one dotter and not bumping into both the Rabbi and the Minister.  But her 'beau' business is in early stages, but she has begun to THREATEN me with the passport stuff.  HMMM

                                                              Meanwhile sonny boy, is doing fine.  We all are doing ok.  the mother of those dear chldren, want noting to do with any of us, ever  (even my 92 year old Great Nana to those kids)  that is a bitter pill.  BUT I have come to the conclusion that she did not love him truely and without question. 

                                                              But Ii am ungrannyfied and look at it that MORE PRESSIES FOR MOI !  hmmmm?

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                                                              Bonnie Lea
                                                              Participant

                                                                Oh I know your feelings on this.  My son is older than your son, but one time in a time far far behind us.  he too moved home after being on his own (well sort of)  it was a joy.  (he had already been toilet trained, and was in charge of his own household.  He nagged ME!  over my cleaning chores, till I said what I often said when he came up to my knees, if you think youu can do better  BE MY GUEST   it lasted a wee while, and he did great.

                                                                Just when I got used to the new son….. he moved out.  Now his personal situation has changed drastically, and even though we celebrated a wedding just last year, SHE has decided she cannot live up here, and doesnt want to be married anymore so in one fell swoop, I lost…. DIL  Grandkids, and the title of "my son is married"  after many weeks of heartbreak and trying to understand, and him have professional help with counsellors (she refused)  my son is well on his way.  He will not be moving  home  (he has his own home) 

                                                                My dotter on the other hand, has told us that IF SHE EVER MARRIES it will be  a destination wedding perhaps to Cuba and if I wanted to attend I have to get off my big fat butt and get a passport.  (that may well make me to it, and then I can come to visit some of you who are close to the border)

                                                                What does a melanoma/Breast Cancer survivor, boobless wonder wear to that type of wedding,  now Rox I ask you since you are sooo well versed in MOG  It can translate to MOB me thinks.  I could go and smell like a coconut with slathered on goop.  stand under a umbrella with a cute Cabana Boy holding it over my head.  (as FOB) will be busy trying to step around sand crabs, escorting number one dotter and not bumping into both the Rabbi and the Minister.  But her 'beau' business is in early stages, but she has begun to THREATEN me with the passport stuff.  HMMM

                                                                Meanwhile sonny boy, is doing fine.  We all are doing ok.  the mother of those dear chldren, want noting to do with any of us, ever  (even my 92 year old Great Nana to those kids)  that is a bitter pill.  BUT I have come to the conclusion that she did not love him truely and without question. 

                                                                But Ii am ungrannyfied and look at it that MORE PRESSIES FOR MOI !  hmmmm?

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