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Scared about the unknown
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Scared about the unknown

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Scared about the unknown

  • Post
    • August 21, 2017 at 3:18 pm
    malui
    Participant

      In the middle of July I found a swollen lymph node in my groin area.  Making sure it was nothing, I went to the doctor the next day to get it checked out.  2 ultrasounds, 1 biopsy and 1 month later, turns out there were malicious cells in the lymph node pointing towards melanoma.  The doctor then checked my entire body and found nothing that points to a primary tumor.  Her best guess was a pinpoint sized dot under my toe nail.  It has been about 2 days and I am currently waiting to see a specialist. 

      In a nutshell I’m scared.  I am in my early 30s, with a wife and 2 young kids who are the joys of my life.  I have told my wife a thousand times that I cannot wait to watch them grow up and get married and get to meet my grandkids.  I am trying to stay positive but there are so many thoughts and emotions running through my head.  Right now, it seems like waiting is the hardest part.

      I don’t know what I’m really looking for by posting here.  I guess really just positive thoughts and advice on how to get through the unknown parts.

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    • Replies
        • August 21, 2017 at 3:56 pm
        J.bun
        Participant

          Waiting can certainly be excruciating.  From a practical perspective, seeing a melanoma specialist/working with an experienced and dedicated team to establish a game plan has helped me.  You should be prepared that the dr may want you have have PET/CT and MRI scans to see what is really happening 'underneath the skin' – this will help inform them/you of treatment options.

          Even in tough times, staying positive and knowing where to go for support is helpful.  Know that certain times will be difficult, and other times will feel 'normal.'  I have found the psychological/mental aspect of this more challenging than some of the physical side effects. 

          It is great you acted quickly and stay focused on your priorities (family) and taking care of yourself!

          • August 23, 2017 at 10:55 pm
          Ridingaroundwith27Jennifers
          Participant

            I've been where you are.  Scared and waiting.  It seemed impossible.  I got through it and you will too.  Try not to stress out over it.  The mental bit can be the toughest part.  Waiting for dr appointments and scans and then test and scan results is always hard.  Focus now on finding a good team of doctors and specialists and try not to play the "what if" game.  My treatment center offers free counseling.  I didn't think I needed it but it really helped.  Good wishes to you.

            • August 27, 2017 at 1:45 pm
            WithinMySkin
            Participant

              I started journaling when I was diagnosed 2 years ago. Its a great way to get your thoughts out without feeling like you're complaining or scaring your loved ones. Like you, I'm in my early thirties and my head was swirrling with emotions. I found that writing down and actually answering all those "what ifs" and 'why me" questions helped me gather my thoughts and decrease my anxiety. Waiting is so hard – don't let your imagination rule your happiness. If you need some info on some methods of journaling, I have written about it on my blog.

              Wishing you health and happiness,

              Lauren

              • August 28, 2017 at 1:56 pm
              Bmac69
              Participant

                I feel the same way. Single mom of three kids in their teens. I keep trying to push the fear out and enjoy the small details of each day. It's overwhelming at times.  

                • September 1, 2017 at 2:36 pm
                malui
                Participant

                  Thanks for all the comments and support everyone.  Just an update, I did end up seeing a dermatologist and oncologist after many phone calls to the clinic to get moved. us.  So I have been diagnosed with Stage 3B melanoma.  I guess right now, I am getting tested to see if I have a BRAF mutation to see if I am going for targeted therapy or immunotherapy as well as waiting 3 weeks for a PET/CT scan to see if it has gone any further. 

                    • October 31, 2017 at 8:49 pm
                    melanomafighter
                    Participant

                      I had the same diagnosis as you.  The worrying will never stop and the scans will always be scary just keep fighting.  I am celebrating 7 years NED.  The doctors never found my primary just landed in a node in my left thigh area.  See my profile, there is hope!  I am a Stage 3B as well.

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