Newby here

OK, my first tip is to see if you can talk to a professional counsellor or therapist. They are excellent listeners because it is their profession. You can say anything to them and that is just not true of friends or family. Also, he or she may be able to help you with your fear.

I am very familiar with terror as I have a phobia of doctors and hospitals, which does not mix well with melanoma. By the way, I have a great app for my Android phone called Breathe Relaxation Breathing by Agile Sumo that helps me control my breathing and calm myself when I am at the hospital.

I wish I could say that I left my mole for over ten years and it was fine but I can't. I left it and I am stage 3C. Here's hoping that the dice fall in your favour and you are stage 2.

Remember, whatever the outcome, there is many more and more effective treatments out there than there were even five years ago.

I chose not to tell anyone at first other than my husband and two close friends but in the end I had to tell those I have daily contact with. A wife of a friend told me that I looked too healthy to be as ill as I was making out and then followed up with saying that it was my own fault for not having regular health checks. I'm mentioning this because you just cannot control the stupid stuff that comes out of people's mouths when they are driven by their own fears and hangups.

Cue those professional listeners. You mention that you have faith. Priests/minitsers/chaplains/nuns are often great listeners too.

You won't catch me saying that it will be fine. I will say that you will still be you whatever the diagnosis.

 

 

OK, my first tip is to see if you can talk to a professional counsellor or therapist. They are excellent listeners because it is their profession. You can say anything to them and that is just not true of friends or family. Also, he or she may be able to help you with your fear.

I am very familiar with terror as I have a phobia of doctors and hospitals, which does not mix well with melanoma. By the way, I have a great app for my Android phone called Breathe Relaxation Breathing by Agile Sumo that helps me control my breathing and calm myself when I am at the hospital.

I wish I could say that I left my mole for over ten years and it was fine but I can't. I left it and I am stage 3C. Here's hoping that the dice fall in your favour and you are stage 2.

Remember, whatever the outcome, there is many more and more effective treatments out there than there were even five years ago.

I chose not to tell anyone at first other than my husband and two close friends but in the end I had to tell those I have daily contact with. A wife of a friend told me that I looked too healthy to be as ill as I was making out and then followed up with saying that it was my own fault for not having regular health checks. I'm mentioning this because you just cannot control the stupid stuff that comes out of people's mouths when they are driven by their own fears and hangups.

Cue those professional listeners. You mention that you have faith. Priests/minitsers/chaplains/nuns are often great listeners too.

You won't catch me saying that it will be fine. I will say that you will still be you whatever the diagnosis.

 

 

OK, my first tip is to see if you can talk to a professional counsellor or therapist. They are excellent listeners because it is their profession. You can say anything to them and that is just not true of friends or family. Also, he or she may be able to help you with your fear.

I am very familiar with terror as I have a phobia of doctors and hospitals, which does not mix well with melanoma. By the way, I have a great app for my Android phone called Breathe Relaxation Breathing by Agile Sumo that helps me control my breathing and calm myself when I am at the hospital.

I wish I could say that I left my mole for over ten years and it was fine but I can't. I left it and I am stage 3C. Here's hoping that the dice fall in your favour and you are stage 2.

Remember, whatever the outcome, there is many more and more effective treatments out there than there were even five years ago.

I chose not to tell anyone at first other than my husband and two close friends but in the end I had to tell those I have daily contact with. A wife of a friend told me that I looked too healthy to be as ill as I was making out and then followed up with saying that it was my own fault for not having regular health checks. I'm mentioning this because you just cannot control the stupid stuff that comes out of people's mouths when they are driven by their own fears and hangups.

Cue those professional listeners. You mention that you have faith. Priests/minitsers/chaplains/nuns are often great listeners too.

You won't catch me saying that it will be fine. I will say that you will still be you whatever the diagnosis.

 

 

Hi Kimba, just wanted to chime in and say good luck to you!  I don't know why people say, "You will be ok," and I always have the same thought, how could anyone possibly know that, when even my own doctors don't know.  But I do understand they mean well and are saying it out of kindness, though sometimes I think it is out of a need to reassure themselves, which is also understandable, if not exactly helpful.

Hopefully your lymph nodes will be clear and you will do well this month!  This is a great forum for support and you are in a good place.

My melanoma grew slowly for years before I finally went in, and it was still at stage 1 with no lymph node involvement.  You just never know with melanoma, so there is hope.  And even if it is more advanced, there are a lot of treatment options available now.   If you do have access to a counselor or a good friend who will listen and support, I agree that is the best.  I never want to worry anyone either, and with melanoma it was no different for me, but sometimes our closest friends and family need the opportunity to give back to us and it makes them feel good.  That said, it is much easier to open up freely to a counselor or in a support group.

One thing I have learned – The oddest thing about cancer in any form is that the patient ends up working just as hard to reassure family and friends as family and friends work to reassure them, sometimes even harder!

Hugs and best wishes for a good outcome this month.

Hi Kimba, just wanted to chime in and say good luck to you!  I don't know why people say, "You will be ok," and I always have the same thought, how could anyone possibly know that, when even my own doctors don't know.  But I do understand they mean well and are saying it out of kindness, though sometimes I think it is out of a need to reassure themselves, which is also understandable, if not exactly helpful.

Hopefully your lymph nodes will be clear and you will do well this month!  This is a great forum for support and you are in a good place.

My melanoma grew slowly for years before I finally went in, and it was still at stage 1 with no lymph node involvement.  You just never know with melanoma, so there is hope.  And even if it is more advanced, there are a lot of treatment options available now.   If you do have access to a counselor or a good friend who will listen and support, I agree that is the best.  I never want to worry anyone either, and with melanoma it was no different for me, but sometimes our closest friends and family need the opportunity to give back to us and it makes them feel good.  That said, it is much easier to open up freely to a counselor or in a support group.

One thing I have learned – The oddest thing about cancer in any form is that the patient ends up working just as hard to reassure family and friends as family and friends work to reassure them, sometimes even harder!

Hugs and best wishes for a good outcome this month.

Hi Kimba, just wanted to chime in and say good luck to you!  I don't know why people say, "You will be ok," and I always have the same thought, how could anyone possibly know that, when even my own doctors don't know.  But I do understand they mean well and are saying it out of kindness, though sometimes I think it is out of a need to reassure themselves, which is also understandable, if not exactly helpful.

Hopefully your lymph nodes will be clear and you will do well this month!  This is a great forum for support and you are in a good place.

My melanoma grew slowly for years before I finally went in, and it was still at stage 1 with no lymph node involvement.  You just never know with melanoma, so there is hope.  And even if it is more advanced, there are a lot of treatment options available now.   If you do have access to a counselor or a good friend who will listen and support, I agree that is the best.  I never want to worry anyone either, and with melanoma it was no different for me, but sometimes our closest friends and family need the opportunity to give back to us and it makes them feel good.  That said, it is much easier to open up freely to a counselor or in a support group.

One thing I have learned – The oddest thing about cancer in any form is that the patient ends up working just as hard to reassure family and friends as family and friends work to reassure them, sometimes even harder!

Hugs and best wishes for a good outcome this month.

Welcome to the group, Kimba67!  I'm sorry you have to deal with this but you've found a great group filled with folks who have pretty much been-there-done-that.  You are experiencing "The Newby Freakout".  We all went through it when we were first diagnosed.  It's different for everyone, but my Freakout period lasted about a month.  Stressed, unable to sleep, crying jags, sure I was going to die,etc.  After about a month of that, I turned the corner.  I was just sick of being freaked out all the time.  I figured if my worst fears were true and I was going to be dead in 6 months, I didn't want to spend those 6 months stressed out.  Maybe I just got used to the idea.  Which is all to say that whatever your stage turns out to be, you eventually will not be freaked out anymore and will still have good times ahead of you.  Maybe just knowing that the way you feel now is not permanent will help some.

Otherwise, I completely agree with Moira and Anonymous.  Find a total stranger to unleash on.  Even if they say nothing and just listen to you rant, you will feel so much better afterwards.  And maybe they'll even have some good ideas on coping strategies.  If it's a stranger (therapist, priest, etc) you don't have to worry about scaring them like you would with family or friends.  But letting it out really helps.  You could also keep a journal.  That would be handy to look back on too.

Whatever your stage, they've got great options of treating it and keeping it under control now.  Reduce your stress level (chronic stress is really bad for your health), try yoga or meditation.  Pamper yourself with good nutrition.  Good luck to you!

Maggie

Welcome to the group, Kimba67!  I'm sorry you have to deal with this but you've found a great group filled with folks who have pretty much been-there-done-that.  You are experiencing "The Newby Freakout".  We all went through it when we were first diagnosed.  It's different for everyone, but my Freakout period lasted about a month.  Stressed, unable to sleep, crying jags, sure I was going to die,etc.  After about a month of that, I turned the corner.  I was just sick of being freaked out all the time.  I figured if my worst fears were true and I was going to be dead in 6 months, I didn't want to spend those 6 months stressed out.  Maybe I just got used to the idea.  Which is all to say that whatever your stage turns out to be, you eventually will not be freaked out anymore and will still have good times ahead of you.  Maybe just knowing that the way you feel now is not permanent will help some.

Otherwise, I completely agree with Moira and Anonymous.  Find a total stranger to unleash on.  Even if they say nothing and just listen to you rant, you will feel so much better afterwards.  And maybe they'll even have some good ideas on coping strategies.  If it's a stranger (therapist, priest, etc) you don't have to worry about scaring them like you would with family or friends.  But letting it out really helps.  You could also keep a journal.  That would be handy to look back on too.

Whatever your stage, they've got great options of treating it and keeping it under control now.  Reduce your stress level (chronic stress is really bad for your health), try yoga or meditation.  Pamper yourself with good nutrition.  Good luck to you!

Maggie

Welcome to the group, Kimba67!  I'm sorry you have to deal with this but you've found a great group filled with folks who have pretty much been-there-done-that.  You are experiencing "The Newby Freakout".  We all went through it when we were first diagnosed.  It's different for everyone, but my Freakout period lasted about a month.  Stressed, unable to sleep, crying jags, sure I was going to die,etc.  After about a month of that, I turned the corner.  I was just sick of being freaked out all the time.  I figured if my worst fears were true and I was going to be dead in 6 months, I didn't want to spend those 6 months stressed out.  Maybe I just got used to the idea.  Which is all to say that whatever your stage turns out to be, you eventually will not be freaked out anymore and will still have good times ahead of you.  Maybe just knowing that the way you feel now is not permanent will help some.

Otherwise, I completely agree with Moira and Anonymous.  Find a total stranger to unleash on.  Even if they say nothing and just listen to you rant, you will feel so much better afterwards.  And maybe they'll even have some good ideas on coping strategies.  If it's a stranger (therapist, priest, etc) you don't have to worry about scaring them like you would with family or friends.  But letting it out really helps.  You could also keep a journal.  That would be handy to look back on too.

Whatever your stage, they've got great options of treating it and keeping it under control now.  Reduce your stress level (chronic stress is really bad for your health), try yoga or meditation.  Pamper yourself with good nutrition.  Good luck to you!

Maggie

I’m sorry you have to be here, but as others have said, you’ve come to the right place. The beginning of a melanoma journey is the scariest part…there are so many unknowns and the news hits you like a ton of bricks. All the emotions you’re feeling are part of the journey, and they will evolve with time. I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry about the “what-ifs” and what others may say. They have NO idea what you’re going through. None. So definitely find an outlet (social worker, priest, ect) to share with.

I’ve also found that being proactive with my health makes me feel better about the situation. Since you’ve been diagnosed with both Squamous Cell and Melanoma, you’re going to be seeing lots of dermatologists and going through lots of skin checks. I take photos of my moles and watch for anything odd or changing every month. It gives me peace of mind knowing that I can be a part of the decision making process and look out for myself.

Keep us updated on the biopsy results!
Lauren

I’m sorry you have to be here, but as others have said, you’ve come to the right place. The beginning of a melanoma journey is the scariest part…there are so many unknowns and the news hits you like a ton of bricks. All the emotions you’re feeling are part of the journey, and they will evolve with time. I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry about the “what-ifs” and what others may say. They have NO idea what you’re going through. None. So definitely find an outlet (social worker, priest, ect) to share with.

I’ve also found that being proactive with my health makes me feel better about the situation. Since you’ve been diagnosed with both Squamous Cell and Melanoma, you’re going to be seeing lots of dermatologists and going through lots of skin checks. I take photos of my moles and watch for anything odd or changing every month. It gives me peace of mind knowing that I can be a part of the decision making process and look out for myself.

Keep us updated on the biopsy results!
Lauren

I’m sorry you have to be here, but as others have said, you’ve come to the right place. The beginning of a melanoma journey is the scariest part…there are so many unknowns and the news hits you like a ton of bricks. All the emotions you’re feeling are part of the journey, and they will evolve with time. I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry about the “what-ifs” and what others may say. They have NO idea what you’re going through. None. So definitely find an outlet (social worker, priest, ect) to share with.

I’ve also found that being proactive with my health makes me feel better about the situation. Since you’ve been diagnosed with both Squamous Cell and Melanoma, you’re going to be seeing lots of dermatologists and going through lots of skin checks. I take photos of my moles and watch for anything odd or changing every month. It gives me peace of mind knowing that I can be a part of the decision making process and look out for myself.

Keep us updated on the biopsy results!
Lauren

Hey, I just wanted to say welcome and you've come to the right place for support, a place to vent, and a place of knowledge. I know how scary, frustrating, and lonely this process is. I was diagnosed Novemeber last year, needless to say, the holiday season (my favorite time of the year) was not filled with much fun and happiness, but more anxiety and stress. I can tell you, the anxiety does get better over time. For me, I wanted answers NOW. And having to wait for biopsies and appointments and answers to questions really drove me nuts. Once I got all the answers, the results, and I had a treatment plan in place, everything started to calm down a bit. It still feels lonely, I too don't have any family around, 99% of my family lives in other states and my one family member in this state is 2 hours away. Thankfully, I live with my long time boyfriend and I have him and his family for support. But, they don't know what my thoughts are, I can't put on them all the crazy things that go through my mind sometimes because I don't want to freak anyone out. None of my friends have ever had any kind of cancer diagnosis, so it's hard for them to relate. People will say a lot of "you'll be ok" and that awful question I get almost daily, "how are you feeling/doing?". You'll get used to it, everyone means well and we can come here and vent about them without them knowing which helps a lot. 

I hope everything works out well for you, I will be sending lots of positive thoughts your way that your upcoming surgery goes well. Hope we've helped you feel a little less alone in all of this.

All the best,

Hey, I just wanted to say welcome and you've come to the right place for support, a place to vent, and a place of knowledge. I know how scary, frustrating, and lonely this process is. I was diagnosed Novemeber last year, needless to say, the holiday season (my favorite time of the year) was not filled with much fun and happiness, but more anxiety and stress. I can tell you, the anxiety does get better over time. For me, I wanted answers NOW. And having to wait for biopsies and appointments and answers to questions really drove me nuts. Once I got all the answers, the results, and I had a treatment plan in place, everything started to calm down a bit. It still feels lonely, I too don't have any family around, 99% of my family lives in other states and my one family member in this state is 2 hours away. Thankfully, I live with my long time boyfriend and I have him and his family for support. But, they don't know what my thoughts are, I can't put on them all the crazy things that go through my mind sometimes because I don't want to freak anyone out. None of my friends have ever had any kind of cancer diagnosis, so it's hard for them to relate. People will say a lot of "you'll be ok" and that awful question I get almost daily, "how are you feeling/doing?". You'll get used to it, everyone means well and we can come here and vent about them without them knowing which helps a lot. 

I hope everything works out well for you, I will be sending lots of positive thoughts your way that your upcoming surgery goes well. Hope we've helped you feel a little less alone in all of this.

All the best,

Hey, I just wanted to say welcome and you've come to the right place for support, a place to vent, and a place of knowledge. I know how scary, frustrating, and lonely this process is. I was diagnosed Novemeber last year, needless to say, the holiday season (my favorite time of the year) was not filled with much fun and happiness, but more anxiety and stress. I can tell you, the anxiety does get better over time. For me, I wanted answers NOW. And having to wait for biopsies and appointments and answers to questions really drove me nuts. Once I got all the answers, the results, and I had a treatment plan in place, everything started to calm down a bit. It still feels lonely, I too don't have any family around, 99% of my family lives in other states and my one family member in this state is 2 hours away. Thankfully, I live with my long time boyfriend and I have him and his family for support. But, they don't know what my thoughts are, I can't put on them all the crazy things that go through my mind sometimes because I don't want to freak anyone out. None of my friends have ever had any kind of cancer diagnosis, so it's hard for them to relate. People will say a lot of "you'll be ok" and that awful question I get almost daily, "how are you feeling/doing?". You'll get used to it, everyone means well and we can come here and vent about them without them knowing which helps a lot. 

I hope everything works out well for you, I will be sending lots of positive thoughts your way that your upcoming surgery goes well. Hope we've helped you feel a little less alone in all of this.

All the best,