› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Mother had melanoma 20 years ago & have strange mark on back
- This topic has 21 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 4 months ago by
Meli.Will.
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- December 16, 2015 at 11:02 pm
Hi everyone,
My mother was diagnosed with melanoma 20 years ago after I noticed a small black spot on her back one night we were at a function that had an ultra violet light, which made the mole stand out. Thankfully she checked it out. Anyway, she had a wider excision, regular checks for a couple of years and no further issues, however it has left her fearful of going to the doctor nowadays. I don't know the stage, but think it could have been stage 1 because it didn't go to the lymph nodes.
I have noticed in a similar region on her upper back, that there is an ugly blue/dark grey spot, maybe 5mm in diameter. It looks like a large blackhead that should be squeezed, but I don't think it is, and have tried without success. I looked at it again this week when she had a top that revealed it, and the top layer of skin over appears broken. It isn't oozing and my Dad still thinks its just a blackhead. I'm concerned it is melanoma, perhaps from the original one 20 years ago, however my mother is refusing to discuss it, or get it checked. She is 71 and quite a fearful person these days and easily overwhelmed.
I'm wondering if anyone has any knowledge of secondary melanomas etc showing up as something like this years later, or has a similar experience? Any information would be greatly appreciated. I might even try and get a photo to show.
Thanks for you help.
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- December 16, 2015 at 11:19 pm
I should add that it isn't just a surface spot, it goes deeper like a large hard pimple. No redness, just blue/grey colouring and a small circle of broken skin at the top. Thanks again.
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- December 17, 2015 at 1:04 am
This is my first time posting here. Your mother definitely needs to get this checked out. Like your mom, my husband's first bout with melanoma was simple: WLE with no need for other treatment. That was 22 years ago at MDAnderson. Last year an odd knot developed on the same spot near the original incison. His primary doc said it was a lipoma and not dangerous. It irritated my hubby enough that he went back and asked for a referral to a surgeon to have it taken out. That biopsy said it was benign. Soon the incision got ugly quickly and the surgeon said it was an abcess and needed to be cleaned out. Back into surgery he went only to find no sign of internal abcess and this time the biopsy was melanoma. Needless to say, we went back to MDAnderson. He is now stage 3b and in a clinical trial and doing very well.
71 is too young to throw in the towel, in my opinion. I pray that she listens to her wise, caring child.
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- December 17, 2015 at 1:04 am
This is my first time posting here. Your mother definitely needs to get this checked out. Like your mom, my husband's first bout with melanoma was simple: WLE with no need for other treatment. That was 22 years ago at MDAnderson. Last year an odd knot developed on the same spot near the original incison. His primary doc said it was a lipoma and not dangerous. It irritated my hubby enough that he went back and asked for a referral to a surgeon to have it taken out. That biopsy said it was benign. Soon the incision got ugly quickly and the surgeon said it was an abcess and needed to be cleaned out. Back into surgery he went only to find no sign of internal abcess and this time the biopsy was melanoma. Needless to say, we went back to MDAnderson. He is now stage 3b and in a clinical trial and doing very well.
71 is too young to throw in the towel, in my opinion. I pray that she listens to her wise, caring child.
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- December 17, 2015 at 1:04 am
This is my first time posting here. Your mother definitely needs to get this checked out. Like your mom, my husband's first bout with melanoma was simple: WLE with no need for other treatment. That was 22 years ago at MDAnderson. Last year an odd knot developed on the same spot near the original incison. His primary doc said it was a lipoma and not dangerous. It irritated my hubby enough that he went back and asked for a referral to a surgeon to have it taken out. That biopsy said it was benign. Soon the incision got ugly quickly and the surgeon said it was an abcess and needed to be cleaned out. Back into surgery he went only to find no sign of internal abcess and this time the biopsy was melanoma. Needless to say, we went back to MDAnderson. He is now stage 3b and in a clinical trial and doing very well.
71 is too young to throw in the towel, in my opinion. I pray that she listens to her wise, caring child.
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- December 17, 2015 at 2:38 am
It could be a benign seborrheic keratosis (very common as we age and can often look a lot like melanoma). It could be something more sinister. Describing it or taking a picture isn't all that helpful because we aren't docs. Basically, a biopsy is the ONLY way to know what it is. So if she isn't interested in going to a doc, there isn't much you can do. What I might suggest is just taking a photo of it and if it continues to change, you can document that and maybe convince her that it would be better to be rid of something that is growing/changing.
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- December 17, 2015 at 2:38 am
It could be a benign seborrheic keratosis (very common as we age and can often look a lot like melanoma). It could be something more sinister. Describing it or taking a picture isn't all that helpful because we aren't docs. Basically, a biopsy is the ONLY way to know what it is. So if she isn't interested in going to a doc, there isn't much you can do. What I might suggest is just taking a photo of it and if it continues to change, you can document that and maybe convince her that it would be better to be rid of something that is growing/changing.
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- December 17, 2015 at 2:38 am
It could be a benign seborrheic keratosis (very common as we age and can often look a lot like melanoma). It could be something more sinister. Describing it or taking a picture isn't all that helpful because we aren't docs. Basically, a biopsy is the ONLY way to know what it is. So if she isn't interested in going to a doc, there isn't much you can do. What I might suggest is just taking a photo of it and if it continues to change, you can document that and maybe convince her that it would be better to be rid of something that is growing/changing.
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- December 17, 2015 at 9:41 am
Thanks for your replies and suggestions. In looking around the internet it looks like cutaneous metastatic melamona, although just a single lesion, near the original melanoma. Of course I am no specialist, just going by what I can see, so I will continue to encourage her to have it checked out without alarming her too much. I really do hope and pray it is nothing. Thanks again.
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- December 17, 2015 at 9:41 am
Thanks for your replies and suggestions. In looking around the internet it looks like cutaneous metastatic melamona, although just a single lesion, near the original melanoma. Of course I am no specialist, just going by what I can see, so I will continue to encourage her to have it checked out without alarming her too much. I really do hope and pray it is nothing. Thanks again.
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- December 17, 2015 at 9:41 am
Thanks for your replies and suggestions. In looking around the internet it looks like cutaneous metastatic melamona, although just a single lesion, near the original melanoma. Of course I am no specialist, just going by what I can see, so I will continue to encourage her to have it checked out without alarming her too much. I really do hope and pray it is nothing. Thanks again.
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- December 17, 2015 at 10:09 pm
This sounds very much like the cancer my Mom had on her head. It was subcutaneous metastatic melanoma. Parents can be terrible about their health. My Mom waited about 3 months from the time the first lump was found until a biopsy. She was Stage IV with 3 brain mets by then. She told me she bumped her head and then nothing after that while 18 lumps appeared on her head alone and I didn't know about the lumps until the day her ENT said the sinus infection she was being treated for was really cancer based on the lump on her neck that was biopsied.
It can be stressful for her, but more stressful for those dealing with the after effects when someone ignores things like this. – She also may need anti anxiety medication in general if she has become as fearful as you mentioned.
Frankly, if she was my Mom I'd make an appointment for her to have a punch biopsy done at a dermatologist and schedule lunch with her. I'd then stop off at the doctors on the way home.
My Mom is very very very lucky that her actions don't seem to have given her a death sentence. Things could have been very different and I don't know that I would have been able to forgive her if her lack of action put the family through hell when most or all of it could have been avoided if she'd taken action when she first noticed something.
My 2 cents for what its worth. Maybe your Dad could help you with this…
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- December 17, 2015 at 10:09 pm
This sounds very much like the cancer my Mom had on her head. It was subcutaneous metastatic melanoma. Parents can be terrible about their health. My Mom waited about 3 months from the time the first lump was found until a biopsy. She was Stage IV with 3 brain mets by then. She told me she bumped her head and then nothing after that while 18 lumps appeared on her head alone and I didn't know about the lumps until the day her ENT said the sinus infection she was being treated for was really cancer based on the lump on her neck that was biopsied.
It can be stressful for her, but more stressful for those dealing with the after effects when someone ignores things like this. – She also may need anti anxiety medication in general if she has become as fearful as you mentioned.
Frankly, if she was my Mom I'd make an appointment for her to have a punch biopsy done at a dermatologist and schedule lunch with her. I'd then stop off at the doctors on the way home.
My Mom is very very very lucky that her actions don't seem to have given her a death sentence. Things could have been very different and I don't know that I would have been able to forgive her if her lack of action put the family through hell when most or all of it could have been avoided if she'd taken action when she first noticed something.
My 2 cents for what its worth. Maybe your Dad could help you with this…
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- December 18, 2015 at 10:43 pm
Thank you so much for your reply Patina, and for sharing your experience with me. Sometimes parents can be so frustrating when they won't deal with issues they have, but are super vigilent about the health of their children. My mother is huge on getting anything checked out where I am concerned, yet she has a hip that should have been replaced a decade ago, near blindness that she won't see anyone about (tries to pretend she can see when she can't), depression and possibly other symptoms that we don't see. She is very strong willed and stubborn!
I like your suggestions and will also use my Dad. Dad keeps saying the mark is just a blackhead, but I just know it isn't. My mother is very good at shutting my Dad down if he raises her health issues, but this is important. If my mother wants to avoid facing a hip replacement and blindness, then I suppose that is her choice, but I don't want her ignoring melamona, not when she faced it head on when she was younger and stronger, and won.
Thanks again for your response, it is very helpful to me.
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- December 18, 2015 at 10:43 pm
Thank you so much for your reply Patina, and for sharing your experience with me. Sometimes parents can be so frustrating when they won't deal with issues they have, but are super vigilent about the health of their children. My mother is huge on getting anything checked out where I am concerned, yet she has a hip that should have been replaced a decade ago, near blindness that she won't see anyone about (tries to pretend she can see when she can't), depression and possibly other symptoms that we don't see. She is very strong willed and stubborn!
I like your suggestions and will also use my Dad. Dad keeps saying the mark is just a blackhead, but I just know it isn't. My mother is very good at shutting my Dad down if he raises her health issues, but this is important. If my mother wants to avoid facing a hip replacement and blindness, then I suppose that is her choice, but I don't want her ignoring melamona, not when she faced it head on when she was younger and stronger, and won.
Thanks again for your response, it is very helpful to me.
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- December 18, 2015 at 10:43 pm
Thank you so much for your reply Patina, and for sharing your experience with me. Sometimes parents can be so frustrating when they won't deal with issues they have, but are super vigilent about the health of their children. My mother is huge on getting anything checked out where I am concerned, yet she has a hip that should have been replaced a decade ago, near blindness that she won't see anyone about (tries to pretend she can see when she can't), depression and possibly other symptoms that we don't see. She is very strong willed and stubborn!
I like your suggestions and will also use my Dad. Dad keeps saying the mark is just a blackhead, but I just know it isn't. My mother is very good at shutting my Dad down if he raises her health issues, but this is important. If my mother wants to avoid facing a hip replacement and blindness, then I suppose that is her choice, but I don't want her ignoring melamona, not when she faced it head on when she was younger and stronger, and won.
Thanks again for your response, it is very helpful to me.
-
- December 17, 2015 at 10:09 pm
This sounds very much like the cancer my Mom had on her head. It was subcutaneous metastatic melanoma. Parents can be terrible about their health. My Mom waited about 3 months from the time the first lump was found until a biopsy. She was Stage IV with 3 brain mets by then. She told me she bumped her head and then nothing after that while 18 lumps appeared on her head alone and I didn't know about the lumps until the day her ENT said the sinus infection she was being treated for was really cancer based on the lump on her neck that was biopsied.
It can be stressful for her, but more stressful for those dealing with the after effects when someone ignores things like this. – She also may need anti anxiety medication in general if she has become as fearful as you mentioned.
Frankly, if she was my Mom I'd make an appointment for her to have a punch biopsy done at a dermatologist and schedule lunch with her. I'd then stop off at the doctors on the way home.
My Mom is very very very lucky that her actions don't seem to have given her a death sentence. Things could have been very different and I don't know that I would have been able to forgive her if her lack of action put the family through hell when most or all of it could have been avoided if she'd taken action when she first noticed something.
My 2 cents for what its worth. Maybe your Dad could help you with this…
Tagged: cutaneous melanoma
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