› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Kris, My Wife
- This topic has 44 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by
Bonnie Lea.
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- April 21, 2011 at 11:23 am
I just wanted to report that I lost my wife of 31 years to melanoma last Tuesday. We started this battle 8 years ago, with acral melanoma under her
right thumb. After several surgeries, the entire thumb was removed and we had clear scans for 4 and a half years. Then a small lung met appeared.
That was removed early in 2010. We had clear scans for about 9 months and then they appeared in her liver, hip bone and lungs again.
I just wanted to report that I lost my wife of 31 years to melanoma last Tuesday. We started this battle 8 years ago, with acral melanoma under her
right thumb. After several surgeries, the entire thumb was removed and we had clear scans for 4 and a half years. Then a small lung met appeared.
That was removed early in 2010. We had clear scans for about 9 months and then they appeared in her liver, hip bone and lungs again.
We did il-2 at Johns Hopkins is September and October of 2010, which was very difficult. Scans showed it did not help. We started compassionate
ipi in December through February, but the bone mets were so painful, we had a partial hip replacement. While in rehab, the brain mets appeared
and her liver became extremely swollen. We came home the middle of March and spent the last few weeks together. I lost the person I was
closest to my entire life. We shared so many hopes and fears and life experiences, I can hardly imagine going on without her. We have 2 sons
which she advised me to be strong for. At some point I hope the agony will let up, but I don't know. Her last words spoken were wispered to me
that she loved me.
Mike Zeigler
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- April 21, 2011 at 11:42 am
Mike I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you and Kris put up a good fight against this horrible disease and she was an incredible woman. In time, I hope the wonderful memories of your life together will bring you comfort. I will pray for you and your sons! Take care of yourself. God Bless!! Valerie (Phil's wife)
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- April 21, 2011 at 11:42 am
Mike I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you and Kris put up a good fight against this horrible disease and she was an incredible woman. In time, I hope the wonderful memories of your life together will bring you comfort. I will pray for you and your sons! Take care of yourself. God Bless!! Valerie (Phil's wife)
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- April 21, 2011 at 11:43 am
Oh Mike,
I'm so sorry to learn that your sweetheart is no longer by your side. Grieve and cry. That's being strong for your sons. Manly men cry. They bawl like babies and they acknowledge pain and agony. They'll need to bawl like babies over their Mama…show them how…no matter what other people may say to the contrary.
Your Darling gave you quite a wonderful gift with her last words. I'm sure you treasure them and treasure the time you had and that you were there for her and by her side. I bet you would have taken the melanoma for her if you could have! Right? And I bet she knew that.
You're a good guy Mike. Tuesday hasn't been that long ago. It will get better…just don't let it make you bitter in the process. Focus your grief in ways that will honor your beloved and make her proud and show your sons how to take life's lemons…really sour lemons…and make lemon meringue pie with a side of lemonade.
In other words, don't let the Beast take you guys captive too.
I write and administrate the Melanoma Prayer Center on Facebook. The link is after my name and you don't have to be on FB to read what's there. You may find something helpful (scan thru the "notes" too). This site is the users site so if you are on FB, tell us about your sweetie. Let us hold you and your boys up in prayer. Matter of fact, I'm going to do that now.
Tell us on this board about her. Talking about her will help.
Lord, in Your mercy, hold Mike and his sons during this time and into the time to come. Cry with them, hold their tears. Give them strength and love and memories, God. Memories! Show them how to grief as each has need and how to focus their grief in ways that will help and not harm. O God, give them peace, strength, and your shoulders. Amen.
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- April 21, 2011 at 11:43 am
Oh Mike,
I'm so sorry to learn that your sweetheart is no longer by your side. Grieve and cry. That's being strong for your sons. Manly men cry. They bawl like babies and they acknowledge pain and agony. They'll need to bawl like babies over their Mama…show them how…no matter what other people may say to the contrary.
Your Darling gave you quite a wonderful gift with her last words. I'm sure you treasure them and treasure the time you had and that you were there for her and by her side. I bet you would have taken the melanoma for her if you could have! Right? And I bet she knew that.
You're a good guy Mike. Tuesday hasn't been that long ago. It will get better…just don't let it make you bitter in the process. Focus your grief in ways that will honor your beloved and make her proud and show your sons how to take life's lemons…really sour lemons…and make lemon meringue pie with a side of lemonade.
In other words, don't let the Beast take you guys captive too.
I write and administrate the Melanoma Prayer Center on Facebook. The link is after my name and you don't have to be on FB to read what's there. You may find something helpful (scan thru the "notes" too). This site is the users site so if you are on FB, tell us about your sweetie. Let us hold you and your boys up in prayer. Matter of fact, I'm going to do that now.
Tell us on this board about her. Talking about her will help.
Lord, in Your mercy, hold Mike and his sons during this time and into the time to come. Cry with them, hold their tears. Give them strength and love and memories, God. Memories! Show them how to grief as each has need and how to focus their grief in ways that will help and not harm. O God, give them peace, strength, and your shoulders. Amen.
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- April 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
Thank you for telling us of your loss. I lost my wife to this horrible disease on 21
October 2009, so I have some idea of how you might be feeling at the moment.My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Frank from Australia
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- April 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
Thank you for telling us of your loss. I lost my wife to this horrible disease on 21
October 2009, so I have some idea of how you might be feeling at the moment.My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Frank from Australia
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- April 21, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Mike,
I totally understand how you feel. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my soul-mate, on Nov 30, 2010…..He passed away just 4 days sort of our 43rd anniversary…It will be hard, it is still hard, when you loose the other half of yourself.
I, too, often wonder how I have made it through this now, 4 1/2 months…you just go day to day, sometimes, just minute to minute, or hour to hour, whatever your body and mind wil allow. You stay numb for a long time. Yesterday I was okay…Today, I am having a hard time. I think you just have to go through it, you cannot avoid the grief(your inward pain), and the mouring(your outward pain). Hopefully, you have a strong belief in God. I hold tighly to God's hand, he is walking through this with me….for me, the only way I can make it.
Try to take care of yourself if you can. Try to eat well..I am preaching here, because I have not done this, and have lost quite a bit of weight, because of no appetite, and no desire to eat…just not caring…
I pray for your and your family in your loss. I do so understand the hurt and pain.
Take Care,
Sherron,wife to Jim FOREVER
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- April 21, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Mike,
I totally understand how you feel. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my soul-mate, on Nov 30, 2010…..He passed away just 4 days sort of our 43rd anniversary…It will be hard, it is still hard, when you loose the other half of yourself.
I, too, often wonder how I have made it through this now, 4 1/2 months…you just go day to day, sometimes, just minute to minute, or hour to hour, whatever your body and mind wil allow. You stay numb for a long time. Yesterday I was okay…Today, I am having a hard time. I think you just have to go through it, you cannot avoid the grief(your inward pain), and the mouring(your outward pain). Hopefully, you have a strong belief in God. I hold tighly to God's hand, he is walking through this with me….for me, the only way I can make it.
Try to take care of yourself if you can. Try to eat well..I am preaching here, because I have not done this, and have lost quite a bit of weight, because of no appetite, and no desire to eat…just not caring…
I pray for your and your family in your loss. I do so understand the hurt and pain.
Take Care,
Sherron,wife to Jim FOREVER
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- April 21, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Mike
I too express my sympathys to you & your family. Your wife was blessed to have you by her side threw this terrible journey. Sometimes its harder being the caretaker then the patient. I have been on both sides . Life will go on, We have to play the hand we have been dealt in life. Its not easy but somehow we get threw it.
My condolenes to you & your family
Janet
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- April 21, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Mike
I too express my sympathys to you & your family. Your wife was blessed to have you by her side threw this terrible journey. Sometimes its harder being the caretaker then the patient. I have been on both sides . Life will go on, We have to play the hand we have been dealt in life. Its not easy but somehow we get threw it.
My condolenes to you & your family
Janet
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- April 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I am so sorry for your terrible loss
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- April 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I am so sorry for your terrible loss
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- April 21, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Dear Mike, I am so sorry for your great loss. To lose the love of your life is horrible, but Kris is safe in the arms of Jesus now and pain free. Her passing words were so beautiful and I pray they give you comfort during this very difficult time. Take care of your two boys and shower them with love from both you and Kris. Val xx
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- April 21, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Dear Mike, I am so sorry for your great loss. To lose the love of your life is horrible, but Kris is safe in the arms of Jesus now and pain free. Her passing words were so beautiful and I pray they give you comfort during this very difficult time. Take care of your two boys and shower them with love from both you and Kris. Val xx
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- April 22, 2011 at 4:05 am
I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you had some quality time with her and bless you both.
c
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- April 22, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Dear Mike,
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your wife from this dreadful disease. Let the tears flow. Grief has many stages and you may go through them many times. If you become unable to function after a while, ie perform tasks of daily living, work, etc, or feel profoundly depressed you may have what is called "complicated grief" and you should seek medical help.
Thank you for posting here on this MPIP board. We truly care.
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a
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- April 22, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Dear Mike,
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your wife from this dreadful disease. Let the tears flow. Grief has many stages and you may go through them many times. If you become unable to function after a while, ie perform tasks of daily living, work, etc, or feel profoundly depressed you may have what is called "complicated grief" and you should seek medical help.
Thank you for posting here on this MPIP board. We truly care.
Vermont_Donna, stage 3a
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- April 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm
I am so sorry you lost your dear wife, Mike. Nothing can ease the pain right now but she will always be with you in your heart and give you strength and comfort to you and your children to get through this sad time.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family,
Mary
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- April 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm
I am so sorry you lost your dear wife, Mike. Nothing can ease the pain right now but she will always be with you in your heart and give you strength and comfort to you and your children to get through this sad time.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family,
Mary
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- April 23, 2011 at 6:16 am
Mike, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your wife, Kris. Please know I'll be keeping you, your sons, and all yours and Kris's friends and family in my heart and prayers.
*Hugz*
~Lisa~
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- April 23, 2011 at 6:16 am
Mike, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your wife, Kris. Please know I'll be keeping you, your sons, and all yours and Kris's friends and family in my heart and prayers.
*Hugz*
~Lisa~
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- April 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm
Dear Kris…Just as others have posted previously…I am so sorry that your wife died from this terrible "Beast". May your memories sooth you and may your children faces remind you of her beauty. Your lovely wife is now free, wrapped in love as she exclaimed her love for you with her dying breath…I am humbled!
Suzan AB
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- April 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm
Dear Kris…Just as others have posted previously…I am so sorry that your wife died from this terrible "Beast". May your memories sooth you and may your children faces remind you of her beauty. Your lovely wife is now free, wrapped in love as she exclaimed her love for you with her dying breath…I am humbled!
Suzan AB
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- April 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I am so very sorry for your loss. She is at such a great peace and free from this disease and its pain. God Bless you and keep you safe. Your memories of those 31 years will help.
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- April 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I am so very sorry for your loss. She is at such a great peace and free from this disease and its pain. God Bless you and keep you safe. Your memories of those 31 years will help.
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Tagged: acral, cutaneous melanoma
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