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Just venting. Feel free to contribute.

Forums General Melanoma Community Just venting. Feel free to contribute.

  • Post
    MoiraM
    Participant

      I joined a forum in the UK because my melanoma specialist nurse hinted that she would really like me to. The forum is an obvious first port of call for people with melanoma in the UK, because it is part of the website of the biggest UK cancer charity. Even so, it isn't very active and there was no one contributing with endocrine side effects of immunotherapy.

      My problem is, what do you say to people who have been diagnosed with malignant melanoma (or whose relative has been diagnosed with it) and are absolutely convinced that they (or their relative) have been condemned to death?

      It doesn't seem to have any correlation to the patient's staging. Often it is someone who is stage 1 or stage 2.

      I guess I could just not reply but that seems mean when they are reaching out. Also, it is often only after they reply to my response that I find out that they are not being swayed by facts or logic.

       

    Viewing 8 reply threads
    • Replies
        Polymath
        Participant

          Hi Moira,

          Greetings from the other side of the Earth.

          First, thanks for all your input on this forum although because you suffer from some specific issues, I think sometimes you may frighten people even though it is clearly not your intent.  But to your point, the simple response to those who are dealing with cancer for the first time is to get educated.  Frankly, even though my mother died of cancer a decade ago, it was not until I was diagnosed that I even began to understand what cancer really is, how it works, and what may or may not be done to help cure.  And although Mel is a more stubborn beast that many other forms of cancer, it's good to remind people that overall, more than half of all cancer patients end up in full remission now.  The science has come a long way and even for us, dealing with a more difficult form of cancer, the outlook for long-term survival has never been better.  Tell them to learn more, seek facts, avoid anecdotal testimonials, miracle cures, and understand especially that early stage disease is very treatable.

          Gary

            MoiraM
            Participant

              Oh I wish they responded to logic!

              I will try to not firghten people in future.

              MoiraM
              Participant

                Oh I wish they responded to logic!

                I will try to not firghten people in future.

                MoiraM
                Participant

                  Oh I wish they responded to logic!

                  I will try to not firghten people in future.

                Polymath
                Participant

                  Hi Moira,

                  Greetings from the other side of the Earth.

                  First, thanks for all your input on this forum although because you suffer from some specific issues, I think sometimes you may frighten people even though it is clearly not your intent.  But to your point, the simple response to those who are dealing with cancer for the first time is to get educated.  Frankly, even though my mother died of cancer a decade ago, it was not until I was diagnosed that I even began to understand what cancer really is, how it works, and what may or may not be done to help cure.  And although Mel is a more stubborn beast that many other forms of cancer, it's good to remind people that overall, more than half of all cancer patients end up in full remission now.  The science has come a long way and even for us, dealing with a more difficult form of cancer, the outlook for long-term survival has never been better.  Tell them to learn more, seek facts, avoid anecdotal testimonials, miracle cures, and understand especially that early stage disease is very treatable.

                  Gary

                  Polymath
                  Participant

                    Hi Moira,

                    Greetings from the other side of the Earth.

                    First, thanks for all your input on this forum although because you suffer from some specific issues, I think sometimes you may frighten people even though it is clearly not your intent.  But to your point, the simple response to those who are dealing with cancer for the first time is to get educated.  Frankly, even though my mother died of cancer a decade ago, it was not until I was diagnosed that I even began to understand what cancer really is, how it works, and what may or may not be done to help cure.  And although Mel is a more stubborn beast that many other forms of cancer, it's good to remind people that overall, more than half of all cancer patients end up in full remission now.  The science has come a long way and even for us, dealing with a more difficult form of cancer, the outlook for long-term survival has never been better.  Tell them to learn more, seek facts, avoid anecdotal testimonials, miracle cures, and understand especially that early stage disease is very treatable.

                    Gary

                    debwray
                    Participant

                      Hi Moira,

                      I too had a look at some of the UK forums but like you found that this board was more informative and active although some of the same issues arise.

                      I think that a melanoma diagnosis is a shock and it it so easy to look at survival rates that are being rewritten due to treatment advances.

                      Also almost every general article labels melanoma as the deadliest form of skin cancer without regard to staging when diagnosed..a claim which is true but it doesn't mean deadly if diagnosed and treated at an ear!y stage for the great majority.

                      It may be that it takes a while for the more reassuring messages to be accepted. And I guess if you are one of that majority who have successful treatment then you don't spend your time on melanoma forums as of makes sense to move on with your life and these folks aren't there to reassure folks in the position they were in a few years ago.

                      When I was diagnosed I took reassurance from my mothers successful treatment obver 15 years ago and was pretty shocked when I did progress.. But with a 95% cure rate or thereabouts I guess someone gets the short straw on a T1a staging…..

                      Hope the new replacement hormone regime is making things better for you. CT scan for me tomorrow..

                      All the best

                      Deb

                       

                       

                      debwray
                      Participant

                        Hi Moira,

                        I too had a look at some of the UK forums but like you found that this board was more informative and active although some of the same issues arise.

                        I think that a melanoma diagnosis is a shock and it it so easy to look at survival rates that are being rewritten due to treatment advances.

                        Also almost every general article labels melanoma as the deadliest form of skin cancer without regard to staging when diagnosed..a claim which is true but it doesn't mean deadly if diagnosed and treated at an ear!y stage for the great majority.

                        It may be that it takes a while for the more reassuring messages to be accepted. And I guess if you are one of that majority who have successful treatment then you don't spend your time on melanoma forums as of makes sense to move on with your life and these folks aren't there to reassure folks in the position they were in a few years ago.

                        When I was diagnosed I took reassurance from my mothers successful treatment obver 15 years ago and was pretty shocked when I did progress.. But with a 95% cure rate or thereabouts I guess someone gets the short straw on a T1a staging…..

                        Hope the new replacement hormone regime is making things better for you. CT scan for me tomorrow..

                        All the best

                        Deb

                         

                         

                        debwray
                        Participant

                          Hi Moira,

                          I too had a look at some of the UK forums but like you found that this board was more informative and active although some of the same issues arise.

                          I think that a melanoma diagnosis is a shock and it it so easy to look at survival rates that are being rewritten due to treatment advances.

                          Also almost every general article labels melanoma as the deadliest form of skin cancer without regard to staging when diagnosed..a claim which is true but it doesn't mean deadly if diagnosed and treated at an ear!y stage for the great majority.

                          It may be that it takes a while for the more reassuring messages to be accepted. And I guess if you are one of that majority who have successful treatment then you don't spend your time on melanoma forums as of makes sense to move on with your life and these folks aren't there to reassure folks in the position they were in a few years ago.

                          When I was diagnosed I took reassurance from my mothers successful treatment obver 15 years ago and was pretty shocked when I did progress.. But with a 95% cure rate or thereabouts I guess someone gets the short straw on a T1a staging…..

                          Hope the new replacement hormone regime is making things better for you. CT scan for me tomorrow..

                          All the best

                          Deb

                           

                           

                          MoiraM
                          Participant

                            Here I am replying to myself.

                            I've decided not to visit this melanoma forum, or any other, for a while.

                            Best wishes to all.

                            MoiraM
                            Participant

                              Here I am replying to myself.

                              I've decided not to visit this melanoma forum, or any other, for a while.

                              Best wishes to all.

                              MoiraM
                              Participant

                                Here I am replying to myself.

                                I've decided not to visit this melanoma forum, or any other, for a while.

                                Best wishes to all.

                            Viewing 8 reply threads
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