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Just an introduction

Forums General Melanoma Community Just an introduction

  • Post
    swalters1038
    Participant

      I can't say that its been the easiest year by any means.   We said goodbyes to my dad after a 16 month battle with pancreatic cancer, said good bye to my wife's mom in August after a 12 month battle  with pancreatic as well, and somewhere inbetween I was diagnosed with stage 3c melanoma.  The melanoma was found in an intra glandular lymph node in my left parotid gland.  I could go on in detail, but long story short it was found in another lymph node and the extra nodal extensions had invaded a portion of my neck muscles as well.

      My mom said it best when dad passed "You still need your Dad at 35".  I find my biggest struggle with the diagnosis trying to reconcile that with my 4-year old and the one on the way. The surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy (tafinalr mekinist combo) has already stole so much time, and energy (mental and physical). I'm tired of how this diagnosis defines my life, how people look and treat me differently…I'm the same person with the same everything aside from a 12 inch scar and a 40 pound weight loss.

      Overall, I think we have taken this in stride, handling it pretty well, and staying pretty positive aside from the momentary drift to all the "what ifs".  

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        MarkR
        Participant

          Hi Steve

          im sorry to hear you have had such a rough ride.

          im unresectable 3B and have kids of 9 & 7 and that is the hardest part.  I focus on doing as much as I can with them so I know I have maximised my time if the worst should happen, but I have set my goal to make it until the youngest is at least 18 – you’ve got to have a goal!!

          as time passes and I get better bits of news it makes me more optimistic I will make it but I just keep focusing on the kids as much as I can

          best of luck

          mark

          GreggL
          Participant

            Sounds like a difficult year for you Steven. I was stage 3b in 2014 and 4b now. I've got about a 10" scar on my left side plus other smaller scars. I am handling it pretty well also. I think you should look at the 5 phases of acceptance. You will experience all of them, if you haven't already. When you get to the final stage of acceptance you will feel much better overall. I sometimes go back to anger or depression from time to time but I don't stay there long. This site has helped me in many ways and I'm sure it will help you also. You are lucky to have a kid and another on the way. I got married in 2016 and my wife and I want kids but I cannot have kids on this medicine. Bristol-Myers Squibb told me I should stay on it forever unless recurrence or toxicity levels. So you are lucky to have the kid area covered. Throughout my various surgeries my weight has gone down to 135lbs and I'm an everyday 185lbs so I can relate. I found myself buying a whole new wardrobe to accomodate my weight loss and then I gained it all back eventually. I'm originally from Missouri so best wishes from a fellow Midwest guy. Gregg

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