Im so tired
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Im so tired

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Im so tired

  • Post
    • June 15, 2016 at 12:53 pm
    blessd4x
    Participant

    I look at this site every day, searching for the NED stories, the hope, the peace.  Every turn theres something new.  Some days, like today I dont want to deal with it.  Sounds so selfish.  My husband is the one with stage IV.  This is his journey.  But some days its so much.

    He finished 12 weeks of Opdivo on 4/19/16.  The side effects of the meds not only perisist, they seem to have increased.  His body is covered in bumps, his depression is horrible.  He's NOT  a spiritual man and goes to see a counselor….whos a christian counselor.  This didnt help him. 

    Dr did more blood work and he's also stage II Kidney disease.  About to do another MRI on his brain since he is "foggy" all the time and dizzy. 

    When does it end?  I just want to run away.

    Sorry to vent. 

    God bless everyone here.

     

Viewing 23 reply threads
  • Replies
      • June 15, 2016 at 12:59 pm
      Kimba67
      Participant

      Annon,

      You are a wonderful wife, a true fighter for your husband.  Of course you are tired, why wouldn't you be?  It's never easy watching someone you love suffer.  Vent on, my friend.  I don't have any magic words to give you that will fill your drained emotional bank, but I can say that you are in my prayers and thoughts. 

       

      (((HUGS))) to you today, rest, if only for a moment.

      • June 15, 2016 at 12:59 pm
      Kimba67
      Participant

      Annon,

      You are a wonderful wife, a true fighter for your husband.  Of course you are tired, why wouldn't you be?  It's never easy watching someone you love suffer.  Vent on, my friend.  I don't have any magic words to give you that will fill your drained emotional bank, but I can say that you are in my prayers and thoughts. 

       

      (((HUGS))) to you today, rest, if only for a moment.

      • June 15, 2016 at 12:59 pm
      Kimba67
      Participant

      Annon,

      You are a wonderful wife, a true fighter for your husband.  Of course you are tired, why wouldn't you be?  It's never easy watching someone you love suffer.  Vent on, my friend.  I don't have any magic words to give you that will fill your drained emotional bank, but I can say that you are in my prayers and thoughts. 

       

      (((HUGS))) to you today, rest, if only for a moment.

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:01 pm
      Patrisa
      Participant

      Dear caregiver,

      I totally understand your feelings (i am also a caregiver), but, remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!! I know we suffer tremendeously watching our loved ones suffer, BUT it is not about us, it is about them! We have to be strong and optimistic for them, otherwise how are they supposed to feel better and not feel like it's all over! Cause its not over till its over! People have been on the bottom and still managed to pull through, so please regroup and keep fighting!

      I was in the worst place of my life 6 months ago, but i never let my father see or feel it! I just didn t want him to see me beeing scared,    I was a ray of f… Sunshine :-))

      Fortunately, pembro was a miracle drug for him…

      Your hubby has still a lot of other options and he must believe that one will work for him!

      all best to you, will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts! 

      Love, 

      Patrisa

       

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:01 pm
      Patrisa
      Participant

      Dear caregiver,

      I totally understand your feelings (i am also a caregiver), but, remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!! I know we suffer tremendeously watching our loved ones suffer, BUT it is not about us, it is about them! We have to be strong and optimistic for them, otherwise how are they supposed to feel better and not feel like it's all over! Cause its not over till its over! People have been on the bottom and still managed to pull through, so please regroup and keep fighting!

      I was in the worst place of my life 6 months ago, but i never let my father see or feel it! I just didn t want him to see me beeing scared,    I was a ray of f… Sunshine :-))

      Fortunately, pembro was a miracle drug for him…

      Your hubby has still a lot of other options and he must believe that one will work for him!

      all best to you, will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts! 

      Love, 

      Patrisa

       

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:01 pm
      Patrisa
      Participant

      Dear caregiver,

      I totally understand your feelings (i am also a caregiver), but, remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!! I know we suffer tremendeously watching our loved ones suffer, BUT it is not about us, it is about them! We have to be strong and optimistic for them, otherwise how are they supposed to feel better and not feel like it's all over! Cause its not over till its over! People have been on the bottom and still managed to pull through, so please regroup and keep fighting!

      I was in the worst place of my life 6 months ago, but i never let my father see or feel it! I just didn t want him to see me beeing scared,    I was a ray of f… Sunshine :-))

      Fortunately, pembro was a miracle drug for him…

      Your hubby has still a lot of other options and he must believe that one will work for him!

      all best to you, will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts! 

      Love, 

      Patrisa

       

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:05 pm
      youngann
      Participant

      Please, please, continue to vent here. We may not always respond but, then again, perhaps you're not always looking for answers. You're safe here, you can say things that, if said in the 'real world', may get you an odd look. We will NEVER judge you here as, at one time or another, someone else here has had those same thoughts.

      ::Hugs::

      Ann

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:05 pm
      youngann
      Participant

      Please, please, continue to vent here. We may not always respond but, then again, perhaps you're not always looking for answers. You're safe here, you can say things that, if said in the 'real world', may get you an odd look. We will NEVER judge you here as, at one time or another, someone else here has had those same thoughts.

      ::Hugs::

      Ann

      • June 15, 2016 at 3:05 pm
      youngann
      Participant

      Please, please, continue to vent here. We may not always respond but, then again, perhaps you're not always looking for answers. You're safe here, you can say things that, if said in the 'real world', may get you an odd look. We will NEVER judge you here as, at one time or another, someone else here has had those same thoughts.

      ::Hugs::

      Ann

      • June 16, 2016 at 4:06 am
      Cathy M
      Participant
      Vent away!! We will listen. We will help you dear caregiver to not forget to take care of yourself too. You are a warrior in your own right battling beside your husband.
      • June 16, 2016 at 4:06 am
      Cathy M
      Participant
      Vent away!! We will listen. We will help you dear caregiver to not forget to take care of yourself too. You are a warrior in your own right battling beside your husband.
      • June 16, 2016 at 4:06 am
      Cathy M
      Participant
      Vent away!! We will listen. We will help you dear caregiver to not forget to take care of yourself too. You are a warrior in your own right battling beside your husband.
      • June 16, 2016 at 3:49 pm
      blessd4x
      Participant

      Thank you everyone for your support!  i appreciate it and very much needed it!

      R

      • June 16, 2016 at 3:49 pm
      blessd4x
      Participant

      Thank you everyone for your support!  i appreciate it and very much needed it!

      R

      • June 16, 2016 at 3:49 pm
      blessd4x
      Participant

      Thank you everyone for your support!  i appreciate it and very much needed it!

      R

      • June 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm
      DZnDef
      Participant

      Do you have another family member who could be with your husband while you take a break?  I'm a big believer in strapping on your own oxygen mask before helping others.  You need to re-charge or you're no good to anybody.  Take a spa day.  Or even meet friends for a meal.  Your fun friends that make you laugh.  Just taking a break from the horror that is this disease will do wonders for you and will help you take better care of your husband.  We all need a pressure-release valve.

      • June 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm
      DZnDef
      Participant

      Do you have another family member who could be with your husband while you take a break?  I'm a big believer in strapping on your own oxygen mask before helping others.  You need to re-charge or you're no good to anybody.  Take a spa day.  Or even meet friends for a meal.  Your fun friends that make you laugh.  Just taking a break from the horror that is this disease will do wonders for you and will help you take better care of your husband.  We all need a pressure-release valve.

        • June 17, 2016 at 2:23 am
        blessd4x
        Participant
        No. I have no one. Im an only. My mother is sick with stage 4 kidney disease. I have a daughter that is an addict another daughter that is bi polar and im pretty certain one day She’ll take her own life. I have to work. My work mates know some but not all of my drama. My only friend lives 5 states away. I can never get away. My thoughts are dark. Very.
        • June 17, 2016 at 2:23 am
        blessd4x
        Participant
        No. I have no one. Im an only. My mother is sick with stage 4 kidney disease. I have a daughter that is an addict another daughter that is bi polar and im pretty certain one day She’ll take her own life. I have to work. My work mates know some but not all of my drama. My only friend lives 5 states away. I can never get away. My thoughts are dark. Very.
        • June 17, 2016 at 2:23 am
        blessd4x
        Participant
        No. I have no one. Im an only. My mother is sick with stage 4 kidney disease. I have a daughter that is an addict another daughter that is bi polar and im pretty certain one day She’ll take her own life. I have to work. My work mates know some but not all of my drama. My only friend lives 5 states away. I can never get away. My thoughts are dark. Very.
      • June 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm
      DZnDef
      Participant

      Do you have another family member who could be with your husband while you take a break?  I'm a big believer in strapping on your own oxygen mask before helping others.  You need to re-charge or you're no good to anybody.  Take a spa day.  Or even meet friends for a meal.  Your fun friends that make you laugh.  Just taking a break from the horror that is this disease will do wonders for you and will help you take better care of your husband.  We all need a pressure-release valve.

      • June 17, 2016 at 3:00 am
      MoiraM
      Participant

      In the UK, I would say contact Macmillian Cancer Care. They are a charity offering support to cancer patients and their families. You just phone them, go to their website ot roll up at their stall at the hospital.

      Does anyone know an equivalent in the US?

      Like you, but for other reasons, ny family and friends support is thin on the ground. Professionals can be great. Maybe a counsellor that you can talk to regularly?

      Or a support group. Are there any of those at the hospital you frequent?

      • June 17, 2016 at 3:00 am
      MoiraM
      Participant

      In the UK, I would say contact Macmillian Cancer Care. They are a charity offering support to cancer patients and their families. You just phone them, go to their website ot roll up at their stall at the hospital.

      Does anyone know an equivalent in the US?

      Like you, but for other reasons, ny family and friends support is thin on the ground. Professionals can be great. Maybe a counsellor that you can talk to regularly?

      Or a support group. Are there any of those at the hospital you frequent?

      • June 17, 2016 at 3:00 am
      MoiraM
      Participant

      In the UK, I would say contact Macmillian Cancer Care. They are a charity offering support to cancer patients and their families. You just phone them, go to their website ot roll up at their stall at the hospital.

      Does anyone know an equivalent in the US?

      Like you, but for other reasons, ny family and friends support is thin on the ground. Professionals can be great. Maybe a counsellor that you can talk to regularly?

      Or a support group. Are there any of those at the hospital you frequent?

        • June 17, 2016 at 11:44 am
        blessd4x
        Participant

        Im in the US.  I just dont have the time for a counselor.  My counselor consists of my dog.  He listens. lol.  If Im not working, Im taking care of someone.  reaching the end of my rope.

        • June 17, 2016 at 11:44 am
        blessd4x
        Participant

        Im in the US.  I just dont have the time for a counselor.  My counselor consists of my dog.  He listens. lol.  If Im not working, Im taking care of someone.  reaching the end of my rope.

        • June 17, 2016 at 11:44 am
        blessd4x
        Participant

        Im in the US.  I just dont have the time for a counselor.  My counselor consists of my dog.  He listens. lol.  If Im not working, Im taking care of someone.  reaching the end of my rope.

        • June 18, 2016 at 1:53 pm
        Cathy M
        Participant
        Our pets can be our best friends. They are always willing to “lend an ear”. I’m sure your pet is a great support to you as mine is to me.
        • June 18, 2016 at 1:53 pm
        Cathy M
        Participant
        Our pets can be our best friends. They are always willing to “lend an ear”. I’m sure your pet is a great support to you as mine is to me.
        • June 18, 2016 at 1:53 pm
        Cathy M
        Participant
        Our pets can be our best friends. They are always willing to “lend an ear”. I’m sure your pet is a great support to you as mine is to me.
      • June 18, 2016 at 2:00 pm
      Cathy M
      Participant
      What about contacting a local Meals on Wheels or other organization like that to see if anyone qualifies for that service?? Might help you out if you didn’t have to worry about providing everyone a meal every day after you’ve worked all day long. Just a thought…
      • June 18, 2016 at 2:00 pm
      Cathy M
      Participant
      What about contacting a local Meals on Wheels or other organization like that to see if anyone qualifies for that service?? Might help you out if you didn’t have to worry about providing everyone a meal every day after you’ve worked all day long. Just a thought…
      • June 18, 2016 at 2:00 pm
      Cathy M
      Participant
      What about contacting a local Meals on Wheels or other organization like that to see if anyone qualifies for that service?? Might help you out if you didn’t have to worry about providing everyone a meal every day after you’ve worked all day long. Just a thought…
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