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I’m Lonesome – Are U?
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I’m Lonesome – Are U?

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › I’m Lonesome – Are U?

  • Post
    • May 25, 2011 at 11:14 pm
    debandmike
    Participant

      My husband received the horrible news that he had Stage 4 Melanoma Cancer with tumors in his lung and liver. He has has a history of Melanoma for years but has always had body scans and had the Melanomas treated successfully. He has just finished his first series of the treatment IL-2 and it went better than expected. We now must wait until June 21 to receive the results of the treatment.

      My husband received the horrible news that he had Stage 4 Melanoma Cancer with tumors in his lung and liver. He has has a history of Melanoma for years but has always had body scans and had the Melanomas treated successfully. He has just finished his first series of the treatment IL-2 and it went better than expected. We now must wait until June 21 to receive the results of the treatment. In the meantime, I have tried to find Cancer support groups in my area but have been unsuccsessful.  I am in counseling currently for what is going on but I need to talk to others who are actually going through the same thing I am going through as wife and primary care giver. Our lives have changed and I am having a very hard time adjusting. Lonesome, sometimes angry, frustrated are just some of the feelings I am feeling. Is there anyone out there who can help me?

    Viewing 5 reply threads
    • Replies
        • May 26, 2011 at 12:33 am
        TinaR
        Participant

          I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis…this disease is frustrating and scary. How is the patient taking it? Is he having a difficult time… with this an added stressor for you as a caregiver? I'm both a patient ( in remission) and a caregiver of a very difficult patient with multiple diagnoses.  It's good that you are in counseling and can vent to a professional. I hope that you will hear from other caregivers who can give you the kind of support and helpful info you'll need in this fight.

          I have nothing useful to share as I tend to  block my emotions and needs when dealing with the problems related to care giving and the life of uncertainty  cancer brings.Cognitive therapy type coping mechanisms are the best medicine for my personality- "It is what it is" and I stop thinking, just go through it doing what I have to for kids, house, husband.  If I stopped to process my feelings or get all touchy-feely I don't think I could cope at all. It works for me. At this rate, I may age out of ever having to deal with my own issues!

          I hope you receive many replies that would be helpful for your family. I wish you and your husband all the best.

            • May 26, 2011 at 12:41 am
            debandmike
            Participant

              I wish I could be that way but I think I am am emotional mess type of person. My husband is actually taking it very well and is very positive. I am positive too but find it hard to cope when reality hits me hard. I just lost my dad in November and a very close girlfriend in January. I am trying to cope with more than I wish I had to. I hope other people reply to me too so I can progress through our journey. We have a wonderful dr. and medical facility, so that helps alot. Thank you for listening.

              • May 26, 2011 at 12:41 am
              debandmike
              Participant

                I wish I could be that way but I think I am am emotional mess type of person. My husband is actually taking it very well and is very positive. I am positive too but find it hard to cope when reality hits me hard. I just lost my dad in November and a very close girlfriend in January. I am trying to cope with more than I wish I had to. I hope other people reply to me too so I can progress through our journey. We have a wonderful dr. and medical facility, so that helps alot. Thank you for listening.

              • May 26, 2011 at 12:33 am
              TinaR
              Participant

                I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis…this disease is frustrating and scary. How is the patient taking it? Is he having a difficult time… with this an added stressor for you as a caregiver? I'm both a patient ( in remission) and a caregiver of a very difficult patient with multiple diagnoses.  It's good that you are in counseling and can vent to a professional. I hope that you will hear from other caregivers who can give you the kind of support and helpful info you'll need in this fight.

                I have nothing useful to share as I tend to  block my emotions and needs when dealing with the problems related to care giving and the life of uncertainty  cancer brings.Cognitive therapy type coping mechanisms are the best medicine for my personality- "It is what it is" and I stop thinking, just go through it doing what I have to for kids, house, husband.  If I stopped to process my feelings or get all touchy-feely I don't think I could cope at all. It works for me. At this rate, I may age out of ever having to deal with my own issues!

                I hope you receive many replies that would be helpful for your family. I wish you and your husband all the best.

                • May 26, 2011 at 12:52 am
                dian in spokane
                Participant

                  Deb,

                  I'm so sorry about your husband's progression. I am the patient, not the caregiver in my family, but I know that sometimes I have an almost irrational fear of losing my husband to some accident or illness, even though he is fine, so I can imagine how tough it must be for you.

                  Plus, I know how cancer can just..overrun your life.

                  I'm in the chat room right now if you'd like to come in and talk. Just look on the left side of the board where it says 'click here to chat'

                  You might also consider taking this post over to the main board, this side of the bulletin board doesn't get much activity anymore, and your post speaks to the heart of how melanoma effects a whole family, so it is appropriate for the main board (and here too!)

                  Also.. there are a few melanoma groups on Facebook if you are one of those facebookers.

                  • May 26, 2011 at 12:52 am
                  dian in spokane
                  Participant

                    Deb,

                    I'm so sorry about your husband's progression. I am the patient, not the caregiver in my family, but I know that sometimes I have an almost irrational fear of losing my husband to some accident or illness, even though he is fine, so I can imagine how tough it must be for you.

                    Plus, I know how cancer can just..overrun your life.

                    I'm in the chat room right now if you'd like to come in and talk. Just look on the left side of the board where it says 'click here to chat'

                    You might also consider taking this post over to the main board, this side of the bulletin board doesn't get much activity anymore, and your post speaks to the heart of how melanoma effects a whole family, so it is appropriate for the main board (and here too!)

                    Also.. there are a few melanoma groups on Facebook if you are one of those facebookers.

                    • May 30, 2011 at 11:23 pm
                    boot2aboot
                    Participant

                      cancer is lonesome, isn't it?

                      can Karmonos center help by hooking you guys up to the 4th angel network?

                      i almost went to Karmonos…it has a good track record…

                      • May 30, 2011 at 11:23 pm
                      boot2aboot
                      Participant

                        cancer is lonesome, isn't it?

                        can Karmonos center help by hooking you guys up to the 4th angel network?

                        i almost went to Karmonos…it has a good track record…

                    Viewing 5 reply threads
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