I’m in such a funk

I haven't walked in your shoes (I'm just a IIIc slacker who's now well), but you ought to cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself for being in a funk.  And since there's nothing "normal" about being in the middle of Ipi treatments for Stage IV melanoma, is it possible for you to get a pass on some of the demands of your "normal life"?  Best wishes to you.

Rich

http://www.hotelmelanoma.blogspot.com

I haven't walked in your shoes (I'm just a IIIc slacker who's now well), but you ought to cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself for being in a funk.  And since there's nothing "normal" about being in the middle of Ipi treatments for Stage IV melanoma, is it possible for you to get a pass on some of the demands of your "normal life"?  Best wishes to you.

Rich

http://www.hotelmelanoma.blogspot.com

It's ok to be in a funk for awhile, just don't stay in the dark place for too long. This is normal for stage IV patients!!  Don't deny yourself the emotions that your feeling, their real and your going through a lot.

I talked to my local onc today about you and about your lymph nodes enlarging all over your neck.  This was done when she was discussing me doing Yervoy also.  Her thoughts were that although she knew nothing about your situation it could be that those nodes were enlarged because of the immune system and might not have mel in them at all.  She also thought you should call the mel specialist who has administered the drug and has more experience.  Sounds like that is done.  I really think Scharfman is going to want to see you in person.

I know this will be difficult, try to put mel on the backburner and enjoy your family vacation. Sometimes work helps with the sanity and sometimes it just is all too overwhelming. Each of us is different. I worked through my first trial and first 2.5 years of being stage IV. Went it went to thebladder I couldn't handle the stress anymore and the day of surgery was the last day I worked.

Linda

It's ok to be in a funk for awhile, just don't stay in the dark place for too long. This is normal for stage IV patients!!  Don't deny yourself the emotions that your feeling, their real and your going through a lot.

I talked to my local onc today about you and about your lymph nodes enlarging all over your neck.  This was done when she was discussing me doing Yervoy also.  Her thoughts were that although she knew nothing about your situation it could be that those nodes were enlarged because of the immune system and might not have mel in them at all.  She also thought you should call the mel specialist who has administered the drug and has more experience.  Sounds like that is done.  I really think Scharfman is going to want to see you in person.

I know this will be difficult, try to put mel on the backburner and enjoy your family vacation. Sometimes work helps with the sanity and sometimes it just is all too overwhelming. Each of us is different. I worked through my first trial and first 2.5 years of being stage IV. Went it went to thebladder I couldn't handle the stress anymore and the day of surgery was the last day I worked.

Linda

I'm sorry you have to deal with a teenager's attitude on top of everything else, Tracy. That must be hard. Please don't get down on yourself or feel bad. I hope you have a great time on your vacation.

Steve

I'm sorry you have to deal with a teenager's attitude on top of everything else, Tracy. That must be hard. Please don't get down on yourself or feel bad. I hope you have a great time on your vacation.

Steve

I think everyone goes through some kind of melanoma breakdown.  I know I did.  I used to be a 24/7 type working person, and now I'm disabled and living on food stamps.  Not everyone ends up like me and have faith that good things will come your way.  You have a family and it sounds like good support.  That one thing you can be thankful for. 

I never cried, I was and still am too busy being angry about this recurrence. 

I think the cancer pyschological steps are

Anger

Denial

Bargaining

Acceptance

The inevitable. (SP?)

Try and keep your chin up and walk on!!!!!

Peace be with you.

CKasper

I think everyone goes through some kind of melanoma breakdown.  I know I did.  I used to be a 24/7 type working person, and now I'm disabled and living on food stamps.  Not everyone ends up like me and have faith that good things will come your way.  You have a family and it sounds like good support.  That one thing you can be thankful for. 

I never cried, I was and still am too busy being angry about this recurrence. 

I think the cancer pyschological steps are

Anger

Denial

Bargaining

Acceptance

The inevitable. (SP?)

Try and keep your chin up and walk on!!!!!

Peace be with you.

CKasper

Hi TracyLee – I think one of the hardest things is to give yourself permission to be in a funk! I know I am always trying to be positive and optomistic for my husband and friends' sake and it gets exhausting. I even found myself thanking my husband for taking a day off recently because it meant I didn't feel guilty for not doing anything that day too!

Your body is going through a lot and I think those mood swings have a lot to do with that. Plus our brains go into survival mode and in my case, I just want to focus on that so I can imagine having a 14 year old daughter added to the mix would be really rough. When I look back and remember how awful I was at that age, I don't envy anyone dealing with that while fighting cancer too.

I've been having truly terrible post chemo neuropathic pain and I found myself thinking last night how glad I am that my husband is back working in ND because it means I don't have to try to hide how bad it hurts.

So hang in there and give yourself permission to have a bad day or two, or twenty!

Hi TracyLee – I think one of the hardest things is to give yourself permission to be in a funk! I know I am always trying to be positive and optomistic for my husband and friends' sake and it gets exhausting. I even found myself thanking my husband for taking a day off recently because it meant I didn't feel guilty for not doing anything that day too!

Your body is going through a lot and I think those mood swings have a lot to do with that. Plus our brains go into survival mode and in my case, I just want to focus on that so I can imagine having a 14 year old daughter added to the mix would be really rough. When I look back and remember how awful I was at that age, I don't envy anyone dealing with that while fighting cancer too.

I've been having truly terrible post chemo neuropathic pain and I found myself thinking last night how glad I am that my husband is back working in ND because it means I don't have to try to hide how bad it hurts.

So hang in there and give yourself permission to have a bad day or two, or twenty!

I totally understand about teens getting on your nerves.  I have a 15 year old son and 2 year old grandson and it is very hard to remain patient.  9 months into interferon and I am extremely moody.  My husband and I have been living apart for quite a while because my son and husband dont get along.  He frequently has to leave the house because of the stress here, and I dont help matters any.  He cant handle it.  I guess it is for the best right now and hopefully things go back to normal again someday.  I am sick a lot and unable to work.  I am so tired all the time and just feel like crap.  The statistics about Interferon makes me keep plugging away though.  There are a few success stories and that is all I need.  I want to beat this.

I totally understand about teens getting on your nerves.  I have a 15 year old son and 2 year old grandson and it is very hard to remain patient.  9 months into interferon and I am extremely moody.  My husband and I have been living apart for quite a while because my son and husband dont get along.  He frequently has to leave the house because of the stress here, and I dont help matters any.  He cant handle it.  I guess it is for the best right now and hopefully things go back to normal again someday.  I am sick a lot and unable to work.  I am so tired all the time and just feel like crap.  The statistics about Interferon makes me keep plugging away though.  There are a few success stories and that is all I need.  I want to beat this.

Hey Fearless Leader,

This pathetic excuse of a posse member is sorry for not responding before now but grateful to all who have. Been one of those times.

By now, I hope you're feeling better about things…14 year old included. Keep her. You've lived through this before and this is the last one you'll have to survive (think Donna Summer "I will survive!")

I hope you have a great vacation and I'm soooo glad you're going to a Christian campground. Maybe they'll teach you you're not God (sorry!) and it's OK to have human emotions when you're dealing with a human body and human gunk in life.

You're not a wimp unless "wwimp" stands for

Woman Walking

In

Miraculous

Power

Lord, in Your mercy treat Tracy kindly and gently. But treat her. Amen.

Grace and peace you WWIMP!

Carol

Hey Fearless Leader,

This pathetic excuse of a posse member is sorry for not responding before now but grateful to all who have. Been one of those times.

By now, I hope you're feeling better about things…14 year old included. Keep her. You've lived through this before and this is the last one you'll have to survive (think Donna Summer "I will survive!")

I hope you have a great vacation and I'm soooo glad you're going to a Christian campground. Maybe they'll teach you you're not God (sorry!) and it's OK to have human emotions when you're dealing with a human body and human gunk in life.

You're not a wimp unless "wwimp" stands for

Woman Walking

In

Miraculous

Power

Lord, in Your mercy treat Tracy kindly and gently. But treat her. Amen.

Grace and peace you WWIMP!

Carol

Dear Tracy, the Leader of the Pack,

I can't tell you how good it is to read your funky, depressed letter. I too am feeling down, and I don't have any real reason! My radiation is over with and I am recovering my stamina. Right now, we think I am tumor free (PET scan in few weeks). So why do I feel so down and moody?

Cuz we have a deadly disease and it is hard to forget that. Our treatments cause fatigue and other side effects. Our role as mothers has decreed that we be the strong ones, always ready to help the kids, always ready to uplift others, always ready to be the hero.

I am tired of being the hero. I am sick of my 19 year old son ( the baby of the family) who is not growing up fast enough. Why doesn't he realize I may die and he will regret being so selfish? Why, oh why, can't he just clean his room? When will he GROW UP?????

Tracy, you are shouldering the world right now. Cancer treatment with side effects, employed full time, parenting kids and husband. I don't know how you do it.

I hope you let yourself scream and yell sometimes. Let the house go to pot. Let the kids eat cereal out of the box. All my nurses and doctors have essentially told me the same thing: let yourself be selfish. Do what you need to do to feel better emotionally and physically even if the fam doesn't like it. Take care of yourself.

I personally would send the family on vacation and stay home by myself in peace and quiet to eat chocolate cake and watermelon all day but you're probably nicer than me.

And don't be afraid to vent here. And don't be afraid to vent to the fam and friends. I am certain that my inability (and guilt) to vent and really tell people what I think (especially when someone hurt me) has greatly contributed to this cancer. I am convinced a divorce years ago may have prevented this cancer. ( There, I said it out loud!)

So fearless leader, you be you and do whatever it takes to feel better. 'Cept you gotta keep the kids, there are laws about that.

Nicki, Stage 3b

Dear Tracy, the Leader of the Pack,

I can't tell you how good it is to read your funky, depressed letter. I too am feeling down, and I don't have any real reason! My radiation is over with and I am recovering my stamina. Right now, we think I am tumor free (PET scan in few weeks). So why do I feel so down and moody?

Cuz we have a deadly disease and it is hard to forget that. Our treatments cause fatigue and other side effects. Our role as mothers has decreed that we be the strong ones, always ready to help the kids, always ready to uplift others, always ready to be the hero.

I am tired of being the hero. I am sick of my 19 year old son ( the baby of the family) who is not growing up fast enough. Why doesn't he realize I may die and he will regret being so selfish? Why, oh why, can't he just clean his room? When will he GROW UP?????

Tracy, you are shouldering the world right now. Cancer treatment with side effects, employed full time, parenting kids and husband. I don't know how you do it.

I hope you let yourself scream and yell sometimes. Let the house go to pot. Let the kids eat cereal out of the box. All my nurses and doctors have essentially told me the same thing: let yourself be selfish. Do what you need to do to feel better emotionally and physically even if the fam doesn't like it. Take care of yourself.

I personally would send the family on vacation and stay home by myself in peace and quiet to eat chocolate cake and watermelon all day but you're probably nicer than me.

And don't be afraid to vent here. And don't be afraid to vent to the fam and friends. I am certain that my inability (and guilt) to vent and really tell people what I think (especially when someone hurt me) has greatly contributed to this cancer. I am convinced a divorce years ago may have prevented this cancer. ( There, I said it out loud!)

So fearless leader, you be you and do whatever it takes to feel better. 'Cept you gotta keep the kids, there are laws about that.

Nicki, Stage 3b

You certainly have alot on your plate so a funk is something you are entitled to. I am a caregiver for my husband and find myself in a funk every so often. You patients have a lot to deal with along with trying to keep life as normal as possible. Hang in there and I hope and pray you will feel better soon.

Deb and Mike

You certainly have alot on your plate so a funk is something you are entitled to. I am a caregiver for my husband and find myself in a funk every so often. You patients have a lot to deal with along with trying to keep life as normal as possible. Hang in there and I hope and pray you will feel better soon.

Deb and Mike

Tracy, did you see the post about 7 year old with melanoma (Serena)?

Like I tell my kids……….just when we start to feel sorry for ourselves, know that there is always someone worse off than we are.

Nicki, Stage 3b
 

Tracy, did you see the post about 7 year old with melanoma (Serena)?

Like I tell my kids……….just when we start to feel sorry for ourselves, know that there is always someone worse off than we are.

Nicki, Stage 3b