Husband just diagnosed

Best advice I can offer is do not play the "what if" game because it can make you worry about scenarios that may never manifest themselves. Take one step at a time and deal only with the facts you have at each of those steps.

Your husband got the initial diagnosis, which of course is scary. So the current step is potentially a wide local excision (WLE) (which you did not mention) and the sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB). I found the SLNB to be an easy recovery so do not worry about that part. Just get through the surgery, get the results, and then make a decision based on those results. Good luck with the surgery.

Kevin

Best advice I can offer is do not play the "what if" game because it can make you worry about scenarios that may never manifest themselves. Take one step at a time and deal only with the facts you have at each of those steps.

Your husband got the initial diagnosis, which of course is scary. So the current step is potentially a wide local excision (WLE) (which you did not mention) and the sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB). I found the SLNB to be an easy recovery so do not worry about that part. Just get through the surgery, get the results, and then make a decision based on those results. Good luck with the surgery.

Kevin

Best advice I can offer is do not play the "what if" game because it can make you worry about scenarios that may never manifest themselves. Take one step at a time and deal only with the facts you have at each of those steps.

Your husband got the initial diagnosis, which of course is scary. So the current step is potentially a wide local excision (WLE) (which you did not mention) and the sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB). I found the SLNB to be an easy recovery so do not worry about that part. Just get through the surgery, get the results, and then make a decision based on those results. Good luck with the surgery.

Kevin

I was older when dx but very similar to you husband; 3.7mm, no ulceration.  I had 2 lymph nodes with micro matisisis.  Make sure to get copies of all your lab reports.  If they don't suggest it, request that the tumor be tested for gentitic  mutations ( most common BRAF) .  Hopefully, you won't need the information now but it's good to know and could save a lot of time in the future. 

Now the good news, I am stage 3a.  I have been healthly "no evidence of disease" for over 4 years now.  I chose to have the remaining lymph nodes removed after finding the 2 with the small amount of cancer and then just follow-up with regular scans. 

Good Luck!

Mary

I was older when dx but very similar to you husband; 3.7mm, no ulceration.  I had 2 lymph nodes with micro matisisis.  Make sure to get copies of all your lab reports.  If they don't suggest it, request that the tumor be tested for gentitic  mutations ( most common BRAF) .  Hopefully, you won't need the information now but it's good to know and could save a lot of time in the future. 

Now the good news, I am stage 3a.  I have been healthly "no evidence of disease" for over 4 years now.  I chose to have the remaining lymph nodes removed after finding the 2 with the small amount of cancer and then just follow-up with regular scans. 

Good Luck!

Mary

I was older when dx but very similar to you husband; 3.7mm, no ulceration.  I had 2 lymph nodes with micro matisisis.  Make sure to get copies of all your lab reports.  If they don't suggest it, request that the tumor be tested for gentitic  mutations ( most common BRAF) .  Hopefully, you won't need the information now but it's good to know and could save a lot of time in the future. 

Now the good news, I am stage 3a.  I have been healthly "no evidence of disease" for over 4 years now.  I chose to have the remaining lymph nodes removed after finding the 2 with the small amount of cancer and then just follow-up with regular scans. 

Good Luck!

Mary

Sorry you had to join.  Yeah that one is on the thick end of things.

What helped for me (also in medical field) was to do what you are doing, break things down to small immediate goals.  This helped me from being overwhelmed by the fact my melanoma was now dictating my life.  I had a sense of control over what isn't controllable.

For me having a plan of attack and lining up plan B,C, D for the worst but hoping for the best helped bunches.  I researched the different scenarios so I could go in with informed specific questions to discuss with my doctors instead of the deer in the headlights thing.  I left that for the wee hours in the night with a beer and chat on this site.

Too bad chat isn't as active, I made suggestions so people can see who is chatting right off the bat and on all patient forum pages – alas not there yet.

I don't think you are being overreactive to plan for the worst, just don't get consumed by it.  After the SNB if negative then you can:  Interferon (personally not my choice – high risk stage II lesions), monitor the node basin with ultraound, enter a clnical trial.

Stage III – interferon (still not my choice), complete node removal +/- (question now being revisited as far as benefits), clinical trial.  Again depends on the extent of node involvement.  There are a few more trials for stage III but you have to hunt for them.  Most focuses on stage IV or unresectable stage / advanced stage III).

This is the best site to become armed with information.  Several here post the current treatments / trials and have experience straight from where the action / research is happening.

Remember, once you make a choice don't look back.  The what if's don't do anyone any good.  The only thing you see with hindsight is well…… your rear end!

Your husband is lucky you have the medical background to interpret how all these new treatments work and can be an educated advocate on his care.

Yes, time slows down to getting through hour by hour, then day by day.  Eventually though it really does get better and become part of your new normal life.

My initial stage 2A diagnosis took just ove a year before life was fairly normal agian.  When I became stage IV – 8 years later  it took a good 3 months before I stopped feeling numb.  As time went by and I did well, my life returned to normal and the small things began to irritate me ex. kid drawing on furniture with sharpie.  That is when I knew I was back.

Aloha,

Kim

Sorry you had to join.  Yeah that one is on the thick end of things.

What helped for me (also in medical field) was to do what you are doing, break things down to small immediate goals.  This helped me from being overwhelmed by the fact my melanoma was now dictating my life.  I had a sense of control over what isn't controllable.

For me having a plan of attack and lining up plan B,C, D for the worst but hoping for the best helped bunches.  I researched the different scenarios so I could go in with informed specific questions to discuss with my doctors instead of the deer in the headlights thing.  I left that for the wee hours in the night with a beer and chat on this site.

Too bad chat isn't as active, I made suggestions so people can see who is chatting right off the bat and on all patient forum pages – alas not there yet.

I don't think you are being overreactive to plan for the worst, just don't get consumed by it.  After the SNB if negative then you can:  Interferon (personally not my choice – high risk stage II lesions), monitor the node basin with ultraound, enter a clnical trial.

Stage III – interferon (still not my choice), complete node removal +/- (question now being revisited as far as benefits), clinical trial.  Again depends on the extent of node involvement.  There are a few more trials for stage III but you have to hunt for them.  Most focuses on stage IV or unresectable stage / advanced stage III).

This is the best site to become armed with information.  Several here post the current treatments / trials and have experience straight from where the action / research is happening.

Remember, once you make a choice don't look back.  The what if's don't do anyone any good.  The only thing you see with hindsight is well…… your rear end!

Your husband is lucky you have the medical background to interpret how all these new treatments work and can be an educated advocate on his care.

Yes, time slows down to getting through hour by hour, then day by day.  Eventually though it really does get better and become part of your new normal life.

My initial stage 2A diagnosis took just ove a year before life was fairly normal agian.  When I became stage IV – 8 years later  it took a good 3 months before I stopped feeling numb.  As time went by and I did well, my life returned to normal and the small things began to irritate me ex. kid drawing on furniture with sharpie.  That is when I knew I was back.

Aloha,

Kim

Sorry you had to join.  Yeah that one is on the thick end of things.

What helped for me (also in medical field) was to do what you are doing, break things down to small immediate goals.  This helped me from being overwhelmed by the fact my melanoma was now dictating my life.  I had a sense of control over what isn't controllable.

For me having a plan of attack and lining up plan B,C, D for the worst but hoping for the best helped bunches.  I researched the different scenarios so I could go in with informed specific questions to discuss with my doctors instead of the deer in the headlights thing.  I left that for the wee hours in the night with a beer and chat on this site.

Too bad chat isn't as active, I made suggestions so people can see who is chatting right off the bat and on all patient forum pages – alas not there yet.

I don't think you are being overreactive to plan for the worst, just don't get consumed by it.  After the SNB if negative then you can:  Interferon (personally not my choice – high risk stage II lesions), monitor the node basin with ultraound, enter a clnical trial.

Stage III – interferon (still not my choice), complete node removal +/- (question now being revisited as far as benefits), clinical trial.  Again depends on the extent of node involvement.  There are a few more trials for stage III but you have to hunt for them.  Most focuses on stage IV or unresectable stage / advanced stage III).

This is the best site to become armed with information.  Several here post the current treatments / trials and have experience straight from where the action / research is happening.

Remember, once you make a choice don't look back.  The what if's don't do anyone any good.  The only thing you see with hindsight is well…… your rear end!

Your husband is lucky you have the medical background to interpret how all these new treatments work and can be an educated advocate on his care.

Yes, time slows down to getting through hour by hour, then day by day.  Eventually though it really does get better and become part of your new normal life.

My initial stage 2A diagnosis took just ove a year before life was fairly normal agian.  When I became stage IV – 8 years later  it took a good 3 months before I stopped feeling numb.  As time went by and I did well, my life returned to normal and the small things began to irritate me ex. kid drawing on furniture with sharpie.  That is when I knew I was back.

Aloha,

Kim

Hi Michelle,

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV in 2009 when we had been married just two years. He had had the primary lesion 22 YEARS PRIOR. He has made many a medical journal with that gap! It was just before the advances and breakthroughs in melanoma treatment, and doctors 'gave him' six months to live. 

It is six years later, and my husband is still here. My advice is show up, don't give up. Just keep showing up. Keep researching and keep your spirits up. The doctors and nurses at our cancer treatment hospital said they always knew we were here because they could hear us laughing.

And as my grandmother used to say, "Don't borrow trouble."  Think positive thoughts. If a lot of people have survived it, your husband can too. The newest treatments are amazing.

Best of luck!

Cheryl

Hi Michelle,

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV in 2009 when we had been married just two years. He had had the primary lesion 22 YEARS PRIOR. He has made many a medical journal with that gap! It was just before the advances and breakthroughs in melanoma treatment, and doctors 'gave him' six months to live. 

It is six years later, and my husband is still here. My advice is show up, don't give up. Just keep showing up. Keep researching and keep your spirits up. The doctors and nurses at our cancer treatment hospital said they always knew we were here because they could hear us laughing.

And as my grandmother used to say, "Don't borrow trouble."  Think positive thoughts. If a lot of people have survived it, your husband can too. The newest treatments are amazing.

Best of luck!

Cheryl

Hi Michelle,

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV in 2009 when we had been married just two years. He had had the primary lesion 22 YEARS PRIOR. He has made many a medical journal with that gap! It was just before the advances and breakthroughs in melanoma treatment, and doctors 'gave him' six months to live. 

It is six years later, and my husband is still here. My advice is show up, don't give up. Just keep showing up. Keep researching and keep your spirits up. The doctors and nurses at our cancer treatment hospital said they always knew we were here because they could hear us laughing.

And as my grandmother used to say, "Don't borrow trouble."  Think positive thoughts. If a lot of people have survived it, your husband can too. The newest treatments are amazing.

Best of luck!

Cheryl