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How do you handle others in the sun?

Forums General Melanoma Community How do you handle others in the sun?

  • Post
    Dhoke3
    Participant

      Hey all, I recently found out I had melanoma in situ. I was very lucky to see my dermatologist only a month after I noticed the spot and had it removed. I now know though about sun smarts. I dont go out in the sun with out sunscreen… hat… the usual… My question is that I get very frusturated when going to the beach with friends or hanging out with people who just want to "lay out" and "look healthy".

      Hey all, I recently found out I had melanoma in situ. I was very lucky to see my dermatologist only a month after I noticed the spot and had it removed. I now know though about sun smarts. I dont go out in the sun with out sunscreen… hat… the usual… My question is that I get very frusturated when going to the beach with friends or hanging out with people who just want to "lay out" and "look healthy". I cried the day I realized I had no tan lines on my body because I was so happy,  to me that was what it meant to be healthy, but other people have different points of view. How do you handle being in situations where other people are laying out in the sun and you are hanging out under your umbrella? I often will hear people  saying things like "Oh why are you hiding under there! Come on out and get some color on your skin!" And I want to crawl even farther under that same umbrella. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! 🙂 

    Viewing 17 reply threads
    • Replies
        JerryfromFauq
        Participant

          Sounds like a good chance to tell them about melanoma.  I stress to peoplle that TOO MUCH of most things can be bad.  This includes too much of the suns UVA/UVB rays.  I am not against being in the sun.  I am against getting sunburns and enough UVA/UVB rays to damage ones skin.  Personally I don't worry about the sun for myself.  I do worry about my wife and Grandchildren getting excess exposure.  Sometimes I even will show pictures of what scars from melanoma operations do to some people.  I even took pictures of our Eric Sizemore to my Congressional offices to show what melanoma can do on the outside and noted that while the actual internal tumors that kill many are not so visible when internal, they are as gross and much deadlier than the external ones.  Eric had both and the internal ones killed him while the external ones upset some people to even know about them. 

               Enjoy your time at the beach and try to be somewhat gentle in educating others.  Gentle, but firm as to what you have learned and experienced and how you want to survive to be with the ones you love.  Approximately 1 person an hour is no longer with their loved ones due to Melanoma.

          JerryfromFauq
          Participant

            Sounds like a good chance to tell them about melanoma.  I stress to peoplle that TOO MUCH of most things can be bad.  This includes too much of the suns UVA/UVB rays.  I am not against being in the sun.  I am against getting sunburns and enough UVA/UVB rays to damage ones skin.  Personally I don't worry about the sun for myself.  I do worry about my wife and Grandchildren getting excess exposure.  Sometimes I even will show pictures of what scars from melanoma operations do to some people.  I even took pictures of our Eric Sizemore to my Congressional offices to show what melanoma can do on the outside and noted that while the actual internal tumors that kill many are not so visible when internal, they are as gross and much deadlier than the external ones.  Eric had both and the internal ones killed him while the external ones upset some people to even know about them. 

                 Enjoy your time at the beach and try to be somewhat gentle in educating others.  Gentle, but firm as to what you have learned and experienced and how you want to survive to be with the ones you love.  Approximately 1 person an hour is no longer with their loved ones due to Melanoma.

            JerryfromFauq
            Participant

              Sounds like a good chance to tell them about melanoma.  I stress to peoplle that TOO MUCH of most things can be bad.  This includes too much of the suns UVA/UVB rays.  I am not against being in the sun.  I am against getting sunburns and enough UVA/UVB rays to damage ones skin.  Personally I don't worry about the sun for myself.  I do worry about my wife and Grandchildren getting excess exposure.  Sometimes I even will show pictures of what scars from melanoma operations do to some people.  I even took pictures of our Eric Sizemore to my Congressional offices to show what melanoma can do on the outside and noted that while the actual internal tumors that kill many are not so visible when internal, they are as gross and much deadlier than the external ones.  Eric had both and the internal ones killed him while the external ones upset some people to even know about them. 

                   Enjoy your time at the beach and try to be somewhat gentle in educating others.  Gentle, but firm as to what you have learned and experienced and how you want to survive to be with the ones you love.  Approximately 1 person an hour is no longer with their loved ones due to Melanoma.

              natasha
              Participant

                Hi!

                   I am back from my first sunny holiday just today.

                  I was in Spain for 9 days. it was sunny and warm ,but I used 50plus sunscreen and weared covers.

                  Sometimes I went t the sea to sweam without covers and hats ,but I don't think it can be dangerous .

                People asked me why I hiding from the sun ,and I said to everyone sun damage the skin and cause a lot of wrinkles on the face :))))

                I told one girl only about my melanoma and she said she fully understand me because her grandad died of this desease.

                In the evening I did some spraytan and it looks ok so I was not pale.Good spraytan can do miracle and people though I get some suntan.

                Now I see people who are spending days on the open sun ,they are dark brown with a lot of moles and I am scared . We should be carefull ,even we did not have melanoma – sun is dangerous

                natasha
                Participant

                  Hi!

                     I am back from my first sunny holiday just today.

                    I was in Spain for 9 days. it was sunny and warm ,but I used 50plus sunscreen and weared covers.

                    Sometimes I went t the sea to sweam without covers and hats ,but I don't think it can be dangerous .

                  People asked me why I hiding from the sun ,and I said to everyone sun damage the skin and cause a lot of wrinkles on the face :))))

                  I told one girl only about my melanoma and she said she fully understand me because her grandad died of this desease.

                  In the evening I did some spraytan and it looks ok so I was not pale.Good spraytan can do miracle and people though I get some suntan.

                  Now I see people who are spending days on the open sun ,they are dark brown with a lot of moles and I am scared . We should be carefull ,even we did not have melanoma – sun is dangerous

                  natasha
                  Participant

                    Hi!

                       I am back from my first sunny holiday just today.

                      I was in Spain for 9 days. it was sunny and warm ,but I used 50plus sunscreen and weared covers.

                      Sometimes I went t the sea to sweam without covers and hats ,but I don't think it can be dangerous .

                    People asked me why I hiding from the sun ,and I said to everyone sun damage the skin and cause a lot of wrinkles on the face :))))

                    I told one girl only about my melanoma and she said she fully understand me because her grandad died of this desease.

                    In the evening I did some spraytan and it looks ok so I was not pale.Good spraytan can do miracle and people though I get some suntan.

                    Now I see people who are spending days on the open sun ,they are dark brown with a lot of moles and I am scared . We should be carefull ,even we did not have melanoma – sun is dangerous

                    Linny
                    Participant

                      Jerry's right. This is your chance to tell them about skin cancer. You've risen above the vanity point of trying to "look healthy" because you know that actually BEING healthy is much more important. If they insist on you joining them, just politely remind them, "No thank you. I have skin cancer. Remember?"

                      Coolibar makes some nice UPF 50+ swimsuits that protect you from the sun. You can get swim leggings and a long-sleeved swim shirt from them for the beach and they're actually not bad looking. Between that and a wide-brimmed had you may not need to spend as much time under an umbrella. Their web site is http://www.coolibar.com/. The advantage of wearing an outfit like that is that the sun protection stays on you and isn't going to wash off or sweat off.

                        o2bcheri
                        Participant

                           

                          hi…

                           

                          i also recommend spray tan.. in fact i am a spray tanner by profession…they are GREAT… they are not harmful to the skin.. all natural ingredients.. i get one every couple weeks..

                           

                          its a great business too.. all profit.

                           

                          xx…

                          o2bcheri
                          Participant

                             

                            hi…

                             

                            i also recommend spray tan.. in fact i am a spray tanner by profession…they are GREAT… they are not harmful to the skin.. all natural ingredients.. i get one every couple weeks..

                             

                            its a great business too.. all profit.

                             

                            xx…

                            o2bcheri
                            Participant

                               

                              hi…

                               

                              i also recommend spray tan.. in fact i am a spray tanner by profession…they are GREAT… they are not harmful to the skin.. all natural ingredients.. i get one every couple weeks..

                               

                              its a great business too.. all profit.

                               

                              xx…

                            Linny
                            Participant

                              Jerry's right. This is your chance to tell them about skin cancer. You've risen above the vanity point of trying to "look healthy" because you know that actually BEING healthy is much more important. If they insist on you joining them, just politely remind them, "No thank you. I have skin cancer. Remember?"

                              Coolibar makes some nice UPF 50+ swimsuits that protect you from the sun. You can get swim leggings and a long-sleeved swim shirt from them for the beach and they're actually not bad looking. Between that and a wide-brimmed had you may not need to spend as much time under an umbrella. Their web site is http://www.coolibar.com/. The advantage of wearing an outfit like that is that the sun protection stays on you and isn't going to wash off or sweat off.

                              Linny
                              Participant

                                Jerry's right. This is your chance to tell them about skin cancer. You've risen above the vanity point of trying to "look healthy" because you know that actually BEING healthy is much more important. If they insist on you joining them, just politely remind them, "No thank you. I have skin cancer. Remember?"

                                Coolibar makes some nice UPF 50+ swimsuits that protect you from the sun. You can get swim leggings and a long-sleeved swim shirt from them for the beach and they're actually not bad looking. Between that and a wide-brimmed had you may not need to spend as much time under an umbrella. Their web site is http://www.coolibar.com/. The advantage of wearing an outfit like that is that the sun protection stays on you and isn't going to wash off or sweat off.

                                Charlie S
                                Participant

                                  It is your chance and therfore your choice. It is not a requirement that you explain your health choices to others; sure if they ask why, tell them. otherwise just skip it.  

                                  It is really easy to get on a revival circuit of melanoma awareness, but all in all, take comfort in your own decisions and know you are doing what is best for you and forget saving the world.  

                                  Your chances, your choices.  Their chances, their choices.

                                  It is a fair deal, so just leave at that without explanation.

                                  Cheers,

                                  Charlie S

                                  Charlie S
                                  Participant

                                    It is your chance and therfore your choice. It is not a requirement that you explain your health choices to others; sure if they ask why, tell them. otherwise just skip it.  

                                    It is really easy to get on a revival circuit of melanoma awareness, but all in all, take comfort in your own decisions and know you are doing what is best for you and forget saving the world.  

                                    Your chances, your choices.  Their chances, their choices.

                                    It is a fair deal, so just leave at that without explanation.

                                    Cheers,

                                    Charlie S

                                    Charlie S
                                    Participant

                                      It is your chance and therfore your choice. It is not a requirement that you explain your health choices to others; sure if they ask why, tell them. otherwise just skip it.  

                                      It is really easy to get on a revival circuit of melanoma awareness, but all in all, take comfort in your own decisions and know you are doing what is best for you and forget saving the world.  

                                      Your chances, your choices.  Their chances, their choices.

                                      It is a fair deal, so just leave at that without explanation.

                                      Cheers,

                                      Charlie S

                                      swissfarm7
                                      Participant

                                        If someone specifically asks you why you're more concerned about sun exposure, tell them in a matter-of-fact manner.  If they don't ask, don't try to force the information down their throats.  Most people are aware that excessive sun exposure isn't healthy and your story isn't going to change anything for them.  Heck, my husband was diagnosed Stage 3B two months ago, and it's not doing anything to change his habits.  He's a farmer, he's outside a great deal, and he's not going to don garb that covers him from head to toe.  He just isn't.  He isn't going to remember to put on sunscreen daily and I'm not going to harp on it daily.  Same is true of my teen boys.  I can only stand on my soapbox so long, kwim?  Do the best you can and don't get worked up about what everyone else is doing.  It'll only cause you more stress.

                                        Best,

                                        Colleen

                                        swissfarm7
                                        Participant

                                          If someone specifically asks you why you're more concerned about sun exposure, tell them in a matter-of-fact manner.  If they don't ask, don't try to force the information down their throats.  Most people are aware that excessive sun exposure isn't healthy and your story isn't going to change anything for them.  Heck, my husband was diagnosed Stage 3B two months ago, and it's not doing anything to change his habits.  He's a farmer, he's outside a great deal, and he's not going to don garb that covers him from head to toe.  He just isn't.  He isn't going to remember to put on sunscreen daily and I'm not going to harp on it daily.  Same is true of my teen boys.  I can only stand on my soapbox so long, kwim?  Do the best you can and don't get worked up about what everyone else is doing.  It'll only cause you more stress.

                                          Best,

                                          Colleen

                                          swissfarm7
                                          Participant

                                            If someone specifically asks you why you're more concerned about sun exposure, tell them in a matter-of-fact manner.  If they don't ask, don't try to force the information down their throats.  Most people are aware that excessive sun exposure isn't healthy and your story isn't going to change anything for them.  Heck, my husband was diagnosed Stage 3B two months ago, and it's not doing anything to change his habits.  He's a farmer, he's outside a great deal, and he's not going to don garb that covers him from head to toe.  He just isn't.  He isn't going to remember to put on sunscreen daily and I'm not going to harp on it daily.  Same is true of my teen boys.  I can only stand on my soapbox so long, kwim?  Do the best you can and don't get worked up about what everyone else is doing.  It'll only cause you more stress.

                                            Best,

                                            Colleen

                                            Dhoke3
                                            Participant
                                              Thank you all for the great advice and support!
                                              Dhoke3
                                              Participant
                                                Thank you all for the great advice and support!
                                                Dhoke3
                                                Participant
                                                  Thank you all for the great advice and support!
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