› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Hospice experiences? Questions?
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lou2.
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- March 4, 2014 at 3:28 am
Hospice Question – hypothetical or real experiences accepted: What can hospice offer someone who has given up on life? My Dad is stage IV melanoma and 89 years old. He's basically checked out. Spent the last 3 days in bed because his legs aren't working anymore. (We do not know his actual melanoma status – haven't had scans in 2 years). We've suggested bringing in hospice to help. My Mom isn't interested, doesn't want help. (She's 86 and stubborn and is the martyr who does everything but won't accept help. Stressed to the max). Parents constantly fight. Dad basically has said "I want to die". Now, his quality of life sucks and I get that. And his time is likely very short regardless of what we do. But I'm just trying to figure out if hospice can really be of any help to us if Dad has already given up and Mom doesn't even want them in the house. Family dynamics! Just trying to figure out what is going to be the easiest way to handle things when nothing is really easy.
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- March 4, 2014 at 3:46 am
Hospice can bring in a nurse a couple of times per week as well as aide assistance a couple of times per week. Usually no extended period of help unless you pay for it privately. But every company is a little different in what kind of time in the home they will spend . Some have very good volunteers too and religious visits. I have known patients who have really benefited from Hospice. I supervised a Hospice for several years and found that if family isn't open to it and doesn't utilize the benefit fully, they don't describe it as a good experience. So Mom should be on board if possible. Best wishes to you and your family
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- March 4, 2014 at 3:46 am
Hospice can bring in a nurse a couple of times per week as well as aide assistance a couple of times per week. Usually no extended period of help unless you pay for it privately. But every company is a little different in what kind of time in the home they will spend . Some have very good volunteers too and religious visits. I have known patients who have really benefited from Hospice. I supervised a Hospice for several years and found that if family isn't open to it and doesn't utilize the benefit fully, they don't describe it as a good experience. So Mom should be on board if possible. Best wishes to you and your family
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- March 4, 2014 at 3:46 am
Hospice can bring in a nurse a couple of times per week as well as aide assistance a couple of times per week. Usually no extended period of help unless you pay for it privately. But every company is a little different in what kind of time in the home they will spend . Some have very good volunteers too and religious visits. I have known patients who have really benefited from Hospice. I supervised a Hospice for several years and found that if family isn't open to it and doesn't utilize the benefit fully, they don't describe it as a good experience. So Mom should be on board if possible. Best wishes to you and your family
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- March 4, 2014 at 4:05 am
So sorry, Janner. This cannot be easy for you in any way. I think Hospice could be very helpful…if….they can get in the door. I've worked with many families who opposed the service, but once they were there…because they were "letting" them….cause so-n-so wanted them to be there…the resource…though perhaps not fully realized…did help. Maybe you can make a bit of that happen for your parents. But…don't beat yourself up about it if you can't. We can only do what we are allowed to do. Sorry for the difficulties and pain that I can only imagine. Yours, Celeste
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- March 4, 2014 at 4:05 am
So sorry, Janner. This cannot be easy for you in any way. I think Hospice could be very helpful…if….they can get in the door. I've worked with many families who opposed the service, but once they were there…because they were "letting" them….cause so-n-so wanted them to be there…the resource…though perhaps not fully realized…did help. Maybe you can make a bit of that happen for your parents. But…don't beat yourself up about it if you can't. We can only do what we are allowed to do. Sorry for the difficulties and pain that I can only imagine. Yours, Celeste
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- March 4, 2014 at 4:05 am
So sorry, Janner. This cannot be easy for you in any way. I think Hospice could be very helpful…if….they can get in the door. I've worked with many families who opposed the service, but once they were there…because they were "letting" them….cause so-n-so wanted them to be there…the resource…though perhaps not fully realized…did help. Maybe you can make a bit of that happen for your parents. But…don't beat yourself up about it if you can't. We can only do what we are allowed to do. Sorry for the difficulties and pain that I can only imagine. Yours, Celeste
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- March 4, 2014 at 9:57 am
Oh man that is a tough spot to be in.
The majority of people who have posted, our friends and distant relatives who used hospice have all had wonderful experiences, especially when it is explained that they keep you comfortable and give the family the freedom to enjoy what remaining time we have with our loved ones.
I hope your mom realizes her stress isn't helping anyone and now isn't the time to play martyr. Perhaps she is angry, scared, lonely, and just not wanting to deal with the inevitable for a number of reasons. I don't know if speaking with her alone during a quiet time to discuss how she wants to remember her last days with her husband, arguing or savoring memories.
Let hospice manage the patient comfort so your mom can be freed up to enjoy instead of working to the bone to take care of your loved one.
Perhaps she is angry your dad is ready to go, and she hasn't come to peace with that.
I only hope she can understand it is up to her to choose how she wants to remember your dad's last days.
I am so sorry you are caught up in the middle. I knew my dad didn't have much time left deep in my gut so I savored every day I had with him and listened to his stories or just watched TV together. I will never forget that. No one else really knew how sick he was except for the both of us, it was unspoken. We didn't use hospice as my dad's heart cond. worsened suddenly.
We did use them when my grandfather was slowly dying in the 80s due to Hep C infected blood he recieved. It made things easier because they helped with all the mundaine details of end of care issues so we could relax. It was a celebration of life and the chance to be close to each other when the time came for him to pass over to the other side. Very peaceful.
Even if your parents don't want them, perhaps you can speak with them. They can offer insight on how to cope with your parents issues during this time, if only to keep you sane.
Hugs,
Kim
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- March 4, 2014 at 9:57 am
Oh man that is a tough spot to be in.
The majority of people who have posted, our friends and distant relatives who used hospice have all had wonderful experiences, especially when it is explained that they keep you comfortable and give the family the freedom to enjoy what remaining time we have with our loved ones.
I hope your mom realizes her stress isn't helping anyone and now isn't the time to play martyr. Perhaps she is angry, scared, lonely, and just not wanting to deal with the inevitable for a number of reasons. I don't know if speaking with her alone during a quiet time to discuss how she wants to remember her last days with her husband, arguing or savoring memories.
Let hospice manage the patient comfort so your mom can be freed up to enjoy instead of working to the bone to take care of your loved one.
Perhaps she is angry your dad is ready to go, and she hasn't come to peace with that.
I only hope she can understand it is up to her to choose how she wants to remember your dad's last days.
I am so sorry you are caught up in the middle. I knew my dad didn't have much time left deep in my gut so I savored every day I had with him and listened to his stories or just watched TV together. I will never forget that. No one else really knew how sick he was except for the both of us, it was unspoken. We didn't use hospice as my dad's heart cond. worsened suddenly.
We did use them when my grandfather was slowly dying in the 80s due to Hep C infected blood he recieved. It made things easier because they helped with all the mundaine details of end of care issues so we could relax. It was a celebration of life and the chance to be close to each other when the time came for him to pass over to the other side. Very peaceful.
Even if your parents don't want them, perhaps you can speak with them. They can offer insight on how to cope with your parents issues during this time, if only to keep you sane.
Hugs,
Kim
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- March 4, 2014 at 9:57 am
Oh man that is a tough spot to be in.
The majority of people who have posted, our friends and distant relatives who used hospice have all had wonderful experiences, especially when it is explained that they keep you comfortable and give the family the freedom to enjoy what remaining time we have with our loved ones.
I hope your mom realizes her stress isn't helping anyone and now isn't the time to play martyr. Perhaps she is angry, scared, lonely, and just not wanting to deal with the inevitable for a number of reasons. I don't know if speaking with her alone during a quiet time to discuss how she wants to remember her last days with her husband, arguing or savoring memories.
Let hospice manage the patient comfort so your mom can be freed up to enjoy instead of working to the bone to take care of your loved one.
Perhaps she is angry your dad is ready to go, and she hasn't come to peace with that.
I only hope she can understand it is up to her to choose how she wants to remember your dad's last days.
I am so sorry you are caught up in the middle. I knew my dad didn't have much time left deep in my gut so I savored every day I had with him and listened to his stories or just watched TV together. I will never forget that. No one else really knew how sick he was except for the both of us, it was unspoken. We didn't use hospice as my dad's heart cond. worsened suddenly.
We did use them when my grandfather was slowly dying in the 80s due to Hep C infected blood he recieved. It made things easier because they helped with all the mundaine details of end of care issues so we could relax. It was a celebration of life and the chance to be close to each other when the time came for him to pass over to the other side. Very peaceful.
Even if your parents don't want them, perhaps you can speak with them. They can offer insight on how to cope with your parents issues during this time, if only to keep you sane.
Hugs,
Kim
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- March 4, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Kim, my Mom IS scared of being alone and is angry at my Dad for giving up. She also says she wants to die and stop being a burden, but she is still relatively healthy at age 86. (She is going to have a lot of upcoming upsetting times because if my Dad passes away, we will insist on her moving from her home of 52 years into something more suitable. She is going to fight us tooth and nail on this one but managing a large house in a Utah winter is now beyond her). She is very intent on being a martyr and not interested in allowing anyone to help. They have had so much anger between the two of them that she is not in the place to "enjoy" any of this time even if she accepted help. Neither Mom or Dad is likely to allow much physical help but I'm hoping for medical/pharmaceutical aid. We did get my Dad to use a walker last night. He's been using a cane. He has a wheelchair too but the house isn't suited to it, and he isn't interested. (Picture past mutli-sport athlete, type A personality being confined to a wheelchair and you see they don't go well together). We offered an electric chair but Mom vetoed that immediately. She's afraid he'll just go out on the road and head somewhere (McDonald's to find some old cronies) and she won't see him. She's so bitter that it does color everything we try to do with her or with my Dad. She would deny all of this, she thinks she's the easiest person in the world to get along with.
I think that both my brother and I want Hospice there…. as a resource available to us. Maybe it can help us deal with Mom better. Maybe they can provide some meds for Dad. I don't have much hope that Mom is going to change any of her tactics at this point, so I'm just going to have to work with what we have keeping my Dad first in my priority list.
Thanks for chiming in! Mahalo!
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- March 4, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Kim, my Mom IS scared of being alone and is angry at my Dad for giving up. She also says she wants to die and stop being a burden, but she is still relatively healthy at age 86. (She is going to have a lot of upcoming upsetting times because if my Dad passes away, we will insist on her moving from her home of 52 years into something more suitable. She is going to fight us tooth and nail on this one but managing a large house in a Utah winter is now beyond her). She is very intent on being a martyr and not interested in allowing anyone to help. They have had so much anger between the two of them that she is not in the place to "enjoy" any of this time even if she accepted help. Neither Mom or Dad is likely to allow much physical help but I'm hoping for medical/pharmaceutical aid. We did get my Dad to use a walker last night. He's been using a cane. He has a wheelchair too but the house isn't suited to it, and he isn't interested. (Picture past mutli-sport athlete, type A personality being confined to a wheelchair and you see they don't go well together). We offered an electric chair but Mom vetoed that immediately. She's afraid he'll just go out on the road and head somewhere (McDonald's to find some old cronies) and she won't see him. She's so bitter that it does color everything we try to do with her or with my Dad. She would deny all of this, she thinks she's the easiest person in the world to get along with.
I think that both my brother and I want Hospice there…. as a resource available to us. Maybe it can help us deal with Mom better. Maybe they can provide some meds for Dad. I don't have much hope that Mom is going to change any of her tactics at this point, so I'm just going to have to work with what we have keeping my Dad first in my priority list.
Thanks for chiming in! Mahalo!
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- March 4, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Kim, my Mom IS scared of being alone and is angry at my Dad for giving up. She also says she wants to die and stop being a burden, but she is still relatively healthy at age 86. (She is going to have a lot of upcoming upsetting times because if my Dad passes away, we will insist on her moving from her home of 52 years into something more suitable. She is going to fight us tooth and nail on this one but managing a large house in a Utah winter is now beyond her). She is very intent on being a martyr and not interested in allowing anyone to help. They have had so much anger between the two of them that she is not in the place to "enjoy" any of this time even if she accepted help. Neither Mom or Dad is likely to allow much physical help but I'm hoping for medical/pharmaceutical aid. We did get my Dad to use a walker last night. He's been using a cane. He has a wheelchair too but the house isn't suited to it, and he isn't interested. (Picture past mutli-sport athlete, type A personality being confined to a wheelchair and you see they don't go well together). We offered an electric chair but Mom vetoed that immediately. She's afraid he'll just go out on the road and head somewhere (McDonald's to find some old cronies) and she won't see him. She's so bitter that it does color everything we try to do with her or with my Dad. She would deny all of this, she thinks she's the easiest person in the world to get along with.
I think that both my brother and I want Hospice there…. as a resource available to us. Maybe it can help us deal with Mom better. Maybe they can provide some meds for Dad. I don't have much hope that Mom is going to change any of her tactics at this point, so I'm just going to have to work with what we have keeping my Dad first in my priority list.
Thanks for chiming in! Mahalo!
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- March 5, 2014 at 3:43 am
Hi, Janner-
My brother had in-home hospice for 9 months and in-patient hospice for the last week so I do have some experience with them.
When my brother was first diagnosed (Stage IV, widely disseminated including brain mets) he had lived with our 91-year-old mother for 15 years. Neither my mother nor my brother wanted any help. They were particularly distressed when, during the "get acquained" visit, the hospice social worker started discussing wills and final arrangements and so on. So no hospice for a while.
After a few weeks, I had to go home (I llve in another state) and I insisted that a hospice nurse come once a week to fill my brother's pill box and insulin syringes. He was taking a LOT of medications and, because of his brain mets, he got confused easily. Mom couldn't see well enough to read the pill labels. He also lost his numbers so he could not fill a syringe correctly. So my brother agreed to a nurse visit once a week ONLY.
That was the breakthrough. The nurse was a doll (and very pretty, which didn't hurt) and little by little she would say, "I see that you are struggling with X. We have a team member who can help you with that." And pretty soon that team member would be making periodic visits. By the end of a month or 6 weeks, my brother and my mother both came to rely on hospice for a lot of things. Most important was probably their 24/7 hotline always staffed by a nurse. If anything bad or scary happened (which it did once or twice) they could pick up the phone and get help within the hour.
What did hospice do for my family? Fill the pill box, keep track of medications (which changed frequently) and reorder medications as needed. Track vital signs and inform his doctor if something was getting out of whack. Fill out the paper work and get him qualified for the free door-to-door medi-van service to get him to doctors appointments, the local grocery store and the pharmacy. They would have had a CNA change his sheets and do his personal laundry once a week, but Mom insisted on doing that herself. They installed grab bars in the bathroom. Luckily, my brother never had much pain, but they would have handled all pain control medications, including ivs, as necessary. They offered other services that we did not need– spiritual counseling, making final arrangements, identifying community support services, etc.
I, personally, benefited greatly from their help. The 24/7 hotline gave me peace of mind, too. The hospice nurse and social worker kept in very close touch with me by telephone to update me on my brother's (and mother's) condition. They would alert me to any problems or unsafe conditions so I could take steps to rectify them. Through an inter-agency agreement, I also saw a hospice grief counselor in my neighborhood. I saw her periodically during and after my brother's illness just to vent my anxiety and get some advice from somebody experienced with families and terminal illnesses. She was great, too. She was the one who told me that it is common for people to refuse all offers of help from anybody–relatives, friends, hospice, everybody. Refusing to make lifestyle changes is a way of fending off the reality of impending death. She said that most of the time it requires some type of crisis– a bad fall, an emergency hospitalization, a brain siezure, etc– to finally get the patient and/or caregiver to agree to accept help. That's just the way it is.
So that was my experience with hospice. I think you are wise to focus on your father's physical and emotional welfare. In addition, YOU need to try to get whatever help YOU need to reduce your own stress. I hope for your sake that your father will accept at least some hospice help–maybe just one thing. Then you will be eligible to benefit from hospice services, too. If possible, ignore the drama between your parents. They have a dance that they have been doing together for decades and it's not likely to change at this point.
I will be praying for you and your parents to reach a comfortable level peace, love and acceptance very, very soon.
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- March 5, 2014 at 3:43 am
Hi, Janner-
My brother had in-home hospice for 9 months and in-patient hospice for the last week so I do have some experience with them.
When my brother was first diagnosed (Stage IV, widely disseminated including brain mets) he had lived with our 91-year-old mother for 15 years. Neither my mother nor my brother wanted any help. They were particularly distressed when, during the "get acquained" visit, the hospice social worker started discussing wills and final arrangements and so on. So no hospice for a while.
After a few weeks, I had to go home (I llve in another state) and I insisted that a hospice nurse come once a week to fill my brother's pill box and insulin syringes. He was taking a LOT of medications and, because of his brain mets, he got confused easily. Mom couldn't see well enough to read the pill labels. He also lost his numbers so he could not fill a syringe correctly. So my brother agreed to a nurse visit once a week ONLY.
That was the breakthrough. The nurse was a doll (and very pretty, which didn't hurt) and little by little she would say, "I see that you are struggling with X. We have a team member who can help you with that." And pretty soon that team member would be making periodic visits. By the end of a month or 6 weeks, my brother and my mother both came to rely on hospice for a lot of things. Most important was probably their 24/7 hotline always staffed by a nurse. If anything bad or scary happened (which it did once or twice) they could pick up the phone and get help within the hour.
What did hospice do for my family? Fill the pill box, keep track of medications (which changed frequently) and reorder medications as needed. Track vital signs and inform his doctor if something was getting out of whack. Fill out the paper work and get him qualified for the free door-to-door medi-van service to get him to doctors appointments, the local grocery store and the pharmacy. They would have had a CNA change his sheets and do his personal laundry once a week, but Mom insisted on doing that herself. They installed grab bars in the bathroom. Luckily, my brother never had much pain, but they would have handled all pain control medications, including ivs, as necessary. They offered other services that we did not need– spiritual counseling, making final arrangements, identifying community support services, etc.
I, personally, benefited greatly from their help. The 24/7 hotline gave me peace of mind, too. The hospice nurse and social worker kept in very close touch with me by telephone to update me on my brother's (and mother's) condition. They would alert me to any problems or unsafe conditions so I could take steps to rectify them. Through an inter-agency agreement, I also saw a hospice grief counselor in my neighborhood. I saw her periodically during and after my brother's illness just to vent my anxiety and get some advice from somebody experienced with families and terminal illnesses. She was great, too. She was the one who told me that it is common for people to refuse all offers of help from anybody–relatives, friends, hospice, everybody. Refusing to make lifestyle changes is a way of fending off the reality of impending death. She said that most of the time it requires some type of crisis– a bad fall, an emergency hospitalization, a brain siezure, etc– to finally get the patient and/or caregiver to agree to accept help. That's just the way it is.
So that was my experience with hospice. I think you are wise to focus on your father's physical and emotional welfare. In addition, YOU need to try to get whatever help YOU need to reduce your own stress. I hope for your sake that your father will accept at least some hospice help–maybe just one thing. Then you will be eligible to benefit from hospice services, too. If possible, ignore the drama between your parents. They have a dance that they have been doing together for decades and it's not likely to change at this point.
I will be praying for you and your parents to reach a comfortable level peace, love and acceptance very, very soon.
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- March 5, 2014 at 3:43 am
Hi, Janner-
My brother had in-home hospice for 9 months and in-patient hospice for the last week so I do have some experience with them.
When my brother was first diagnosed (Stage IV, widely disseminated including brain mets) he had lived with our 91-year-old mother for 15 years. Neither my mother nor my brother wanted any help. They were particularly distressed when, during the "get acquained" visit, the hospice social worker started discussing wills and final arrangements and so on. So no hospice for a while.
After a few weeks, I had to go home (I llve in another state) and I insisted that a hospice nurse come once a week to fill my brother's pill box and insulin syringes. He was taking a LOT of medications and, because of his brain mets, he got confused easily. Mom couldn't see well enough to read the pill labels. He also lost his numbers so he could not fill a syringe correctly. So my brother agreed to a nurse visit once a week ONLY.
That was the breakthrough. The nurse was a doll (and very pretty, which didn't hurt) and little by little she would say, "I see that you are struggling with X. We have a team member who can help you with that." And pretty soon that team member would be making periodic visits. By the end of a month or 6 weeks, my brother and my mother both came to rely on hospice for a lot of things. Most important was probably their 24/7 hotline always staffed by a nurse. If anything bad or scary happened (which it did once or twice) they could pick up the phone and get help within the hour.
What did hospice do for my family? Fill the pill box, keep track of medications (which changed frequently) and reorder medications as needed. Track vital signs and inform his doctor if something was getting out of whack. Fill out the paper work and get him qualified for the free door-to-door medi-van service to get him to doctors appointments, the local grocery store and the pharmacy. They would have had a CNA change his sheets and do his personal laundry once a week, but Mom insisted on doing that herself. They installed grab bars in the bathroom. Luckily, my brother never had much pain, but they would have handled all pain control medications, including ivs, as necessary. They offered other services that we did not need– spiritual counseling, making final arrangements, identifying community support services, etc.
I, personally, benefited greatly from their help. The 24/7 hotline gave me peace of mind, too. The hospice nurse and social worker kept in very close touch with me by telephone to update me on my brother's (and mother's) condition. They would alert me to any problems or unsafe conditions so I could take steps to rectify them. Through an inter-agency agreement, I also saw a hospice grief counselor in my neighborhood. I saw her periodically during and after my brother's illness just to vent my anxiety and get some advice from somebody experienced with families and terminal illnesses. She was great, too. She was the one who told me that it is common for people to refuse all offers of help from anybody–relatives, friends, hospice, everybody. Refusing to make lifestyle changes is a way of fending off the reality of impending death. She said that most of the time it requires some type of crisis– a bad fall, an emergency hospitalization, a brain siezure, etc– to finally get the patient and/or caregiver to agree to accept help. That's just the way it is.
So that was my experience with hospice. I think you are wise to focus on your father's physical and emotional welfare. In addition, YOU need to try to get whatever help YOU need to reduce your own stress. I hope for your sake that your father will accept at least some hospice help–maybe just one thing. Then you will be eligible to benefit from hospice services, too. If possible, ignore the drama between your parents. They have a dance that they have been doing together for decades and it's not likely to change at this point.
I will be praying for you and your parents to reach a comfortable level peace, love and acceptance very, very soon.
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- March 4, 2014 at 2:12 pm
I am so sorry you have been"" delt this hand"". I haven't had any experience directly with hospice, but I have delt with family dynamics. There was a time my Mom was ill with cancer. I did not like her doctor, any of them, and her hospital of choice was not to my liking either. Needless to say we went around and around these issues for quite awhile. Finally, I had to"" let her have her wishes""". I grew to realize the conflict was not worth the inability to express my love to her. Not an easy issue when I thought about her situation,but it was necessary for me to let her be and occasionally return to what i wished for her. I hope your personal resolution brings you peace . Best wishes to you Janner.
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- March 4, 2014 at 2:12 pm
I am so sorry you have been"" delt this hand"". I haven't had any experience directly with hospice, but I have delt with family dynamics. There was a time my Mom was ill with cancer. I did not like her doctor, any of them, and her hospital of choice was not to my liking either. Needless to say we went around and around these issues for quite awhile. Finally, I had to"" let her have her wishes""". I grew to realize the conflict was not worth the inability to express my love to her. Not an easy issue when I thought about her situation,but it was necessary for me to let her be and occasionally return to what i wished for her. I hope your personal resolution brings you peace . Best wishes to you Janner.
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- March 4, 2014 at 2:12 pm
I am so sorry you have been"" delt this hand"". I haven't had any experience directly with hospice, but I have delt with family dynamics. There was a time my Mom was ill with cancer. I did not like her doctor, any of them, and her hospital of choice was not to my liking either. Needless to say we went around and around these issues for quite awhile. Finally, I had to"" let her have her wishes""". I grew to realize the conflict was not worth the inability to express my love to her. Not an easy issue when I thought about her situation,but it was necessary for me to let her be and occasionally return to what i wished for her. I hope your personal resolution brings you peace . Best wishes to you Janner.
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- March 4, 2014 at 8:37 pm
Thanks, everyone. Just trying to feel my way through all of this and looking for any good input that others might have for me.
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- March 6, 2014 at 7:55 pm
My mother and an aunt were both helped by hospice. The families appreciated them very much. There wasn't any pushback from the patients though.
Maybe if it was explained that they do not take over and are not there most of the time, so not intrusive. I think when pain meds are needed, this would be especially useful.
If they could be eased in gradually, it might be less resented.
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- March 6, 2014 at 7:55 pm
My mother and an aunt were both helped by hospice. The families appreciated them very much. There wasn't any pushback from the patients though.
Maybe if it was explained that they do not take over and are not there most of the time, so not intrusive. I think when pain meds are needed, this would be especially useful.
If they could be eased in gradually, it might be less resented.
-
- March 6, 2014 at 7:55 pm
My mother and an aunt were both helped by hospice. The families appreciated them very much. There wasn't any pushback from the patients though.
Maybe if it was explained that they do not take over and are not there most of the time, so not intrusive. I think when pain meds are needed, this would be especially useful.
If they could be eased in gradually, it might be less resented.
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