Family doesn’t understand

That is the number 1 most common response from people who have never been affected by melanoma. Sure, stage 1 is low and you’re now cancer free, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have all of the other effects like anxiety and fear that comes with any cancer diagnosis. I have found it helps to educate those who give responses like that about why melanoma is scary and “not just skin cancer”. It helps them better support you and also spreads awareness about melanoma and could save someone else from a serious diagnosis. One month after I was diagnosed, a friend told their daughter about me and that daughter decided to see her doctor about a weird mole she had for 5 years or so but never had it looked at as she did not think it was anything. Turned out to be melanoma and she was diagnosed stage 2 and is cancer free now. Don’t take the “just skin cancer” responses personally. People don’t understand because the general population is not educated about melanoma so we as patients sometimes have to be that real world example to spread the knowledge and we never know how much it could help someone else.

Hello Dave. I have received similar responses from family and friends – if not in those exact words, but in a very dismissive and cavalier reaction to the diagnosis. At this point I do not have a final Staging and am waiting for my surgery. I have tried to talk to my family about my concerns about it, but they are not interested. The sense is that I might as well be going in to have a splinter removed !! I really believe that there needs to be more education done regarding the seriousness of malignant melanoma, and maybe that is something we, as survivors can focus on. I have found wonderful support from forums like this one and my local Cancer Support Centre. I'll work on my family later !!! It's not too late to educate them and let them know that it's ok to talk about it. All the best.

In the health system where I get treatment the cancer center is called the "Cancer and Melanoma Center." I can't tell if that is supposed to mean melanoma isn't cancer or that they specialize in Melanoma in addition to being just a cancer center. I'm hoping it is the latter.

That is what most of my friends and family thought.  I have metastatic stage 4, and the it's like "oh they just burn it off right?"  And it's like "no i have lung mass, lymph nodes" etc.  Then i mention how 60% goes to brain and other organs their eyes wide open.  I call it the Jimmy Carter disease.

Sharon

That is what most of my friends and family thought.  I have metastatic stage 4, and the it's like "oh they just burn it off right?"  And it's like "no i have lung mass, lymph nodes" etc.  Then i mention how 60% goes to brain and other organs their eyes wide open.  I call it the Jimmy Carter disease.

Sharon

Sadly, I had those same thoughts about it myself after intitial diagnosis! People are uninformed. The fact that it has long been labeled under the "skin cancer" category, makes it sound so much less harmful. Thankfully, you did catch it early, and odds that your friends and family will ever be faced with the true horrors of it are low. NOT that it makes it any mentally easier on you though! Reach out and find support where you can… because living with that unending "What if…" is probably more common than we think. Looking back, I wish I had been less dismissive… unfortunately, I'm still not sure anyone could have convinced me that I should worry any further. Most of the folks I'm surrounded by still think nothing of being outside for hours without sun protection. Until and unless they've walked in your shoes, or hand in hand beside you in yours, they aren't likely to ever really understand the fear.