› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Dealing With anxiety and Fear and Decision Dx-Melanoma
- This topic has 21 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by
Swanee.
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- December 30, 2016 at 10:00 pm
Hello Everyone,
I was diagnosed with stage 1a melanoma about three weeks ago. I am a mess, I am only 21 years old and I dont know how I will ever move past this. The summary of my path report is..
0.23 mm in thickness
No ulceration present
No microsatellites
no lymph vascular invasion
mitotic rate of 0
it did not give me a clarks level
the only thing it did have was regression.
Anyhow, I know that dermatologist and my doctors are telling me not to worry but I just cant get passed it. Im so scared that this is going to come back later in life and be a battle that I dont know if I can handle. I had the WLE performed already and I got the all clear, but I cant move on. It seems like I cant get a break in not thinking about it. I want to grow old and have a family be a father, do all the things I enjoy but this is ruining my psychological help. I asked my dermatologist for a support group and they had nothing, IDK who else to talk to about this. I need help, I know I do, I can't keep living like this because I know there is a very very good chance that I will never deal with this again, but the fact that it was there and threatend my mortality is scary. This is the cancer I have feared ever sense I was 18, and something I wasnt going to have to deal with until i was in my fortys at least. But now it happened and IDK what to do. I need help, I know my thoughts are all over the place and I can barely type. Everyone is telling me im going to be ok, and some times i believe it but other times I dont, and I dont want this to ruin the rest of my life. I know that the majority of stories I read online are the rare ones that had issues again later but I am just scared. I just needed someone to hear me out and for me to express my feelings. I need help you guys, I want to move on with my life but I cant. Im just about to graduate college got a really good job and this happened, Its so hard for me to go to work and move on with my life, I think about it to much and I know I need help.
Do you guys have any advice to move on from this? IS my worry just way over the top than I should be. I know my cure rate of this is very high and its most likely done and over with at this point, but I cant deal with this. My mind is no longer thinking about what it use to.. My mortality is threatened on a daily basis and I hate that feeling. I hate waking up thinking well, I could feel a lump somewhere and go into the most fear striken state I have ever been in my life and crumble. I apologize this is so long, I just have no one to talk to.. My parents are not around, I live on my own, and I dont have good health insurance. I have a lot of obstacles in life of growing up without parents and having to go through school by myself and it hasnt been an issue for me. I always said in the back of my mind that I have my health and I have nothing to complain about, whatever happens in my life I have that and I will never complain. But now, I feel like I cant say that… I know that statistics say that I have a very good chance of never dealing with this again and I feel like I never really had cancer because there was no chemo or radiation involved. I want to move on but I cant, and I need help..
also, has anyone ever heard of DecisionDx-Melanoma? Apparently they gene test your specific melanoma tumor and can give your more info on if it will metastisize later down the round… It classifies it into two categories either low or high risk.. What are your guys thoughts on this?
If you have read all of this thank you, I just needed to write down all my thoughts somewhere, cus I dont have much of a family to talk to…
- Replies
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- December 30, 2016 at 10:22 pm
If you are finding yourself unable to move forward with life after your very good diagnosis, then you should seek professional psychological help. You need someone you can talk to about your fears and anxiety and how to deal with it, because it is above the realm of normal at this point. You have an extremely high likelihood of never dealing with melanoma ever again. I know you've heard it before, but just wanted to say it again.
My best advice besides finding a professional counselor is to get off this forum and do not Google anything about melanoma. There is no more information you need to know. You've had it taken out and taken care of. Coming here will only increase your anxiety and cause more harm to you psychologically.
I hope you can get past this, you're very young and you have a very very long life ahead of you.
Remember one thing: life is never a given, for anyone. Cancer or no cancer diagnosis, everyone takes risks with their life when they get into a car or other activities that have high chances of serious accidents. NO ONE can predict the future and NO ONE knows how long their life span will be. Embrace the health and life you have right now and continue to do it every day you wake up.
Take a breath, search for a counselor in your area, and try to remember that you are going to be ok.
Wishing you all the best,
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- December 30, 2016 at 10:22 pm
If you are finding yourself unable to move forward with life after your very good diagnosis, then you should seek professional psychological help. You need someone you can talk to about your fears and anxiety and how to deal with it, because it is above the realm of normal at this point. You have an extremely high likelihood of never dealing with melanoma ever again. I know you've heard it before, but just wanted to say it again.
My best advice besides finding a professional counselor is to get off this forum and do not Google anything about melanoma. There is no more information you need to know. You've had it taken out and taken care of. Coming here will only increase your anxiety and cause more harm to you psychologically.
I hope you can get past this, you're very young and you have a very very long life ahead of you.
Remember one thing: life is never a given, for anyone. Cancer or no cancer diagnosis, everyone takes risks with their life when they get into a car or other activities that have high chances of serious accidents. NO ONE can predict the future and NO ONE knows how long their life span will be. Embrace the health and life you have right now and continue to do it every day you wake up.
Take a breath, search for a counselor in your area, and try to remember that you are going to be ok.
Wishing you all the best,
-
- December 30, 2016 at 10:22 pm
If you are finding yourself unable to move forward with life after your very good diagnosis, then you should seek professional psychological help. You need someone you can talk to about your fears and anxiety and how to deal with it, because it is above the realm of normal at this point. You have an extremely high likelihood of never dealing with melanoma ever again. I know you've heard it before, but just wanted to say it again.
My best advice besides finding a professional counselor is to get off this forum and do not Google anything about melanoma. There is no more information you need to know. You've had it taken out and taken care of. Coming here will only increase your anxiety and cause more harm to you psychologically.
I hope you can get past this, you're very young and you have a very very long life ahead of you.
Remember one thing: life is never a given, for anyone. Cancer or no cancer diagnosis, everyone takes risks with their life when they get into a car or other activities that have high chances of serious accidents. NO ONE can predict the future and NO ONE knows how long their life span will be. Embrace the health and life you have right now and continue to do it every day you wake up.
Take a breath, search for a counselor in your area, and try to remember that you are going to be ok.
Wishing you all the best,
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:16 pm
Hello Jenn,
Thank you so much for the response, it really did help me out a lot. I am trying to seek psychological help because I know that I need it. Thank you for sending positive thoughts because all of them make me feel better. I want to move on and I know that I will eventually just needed help in dealing with the process. Again, thank you for the encouragement.
Wishing you the best as well.
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:16 pm
Hello Jenn,
Thank you so much for the response, it really did help me out a lot. I am trying to seek psychological help because I know that I need it. Thank you for sending positive thoughts because all of them make me feel better. I want to move on and I know that I will eventually just needed help in dealing with the process. Again, thank you for the encouragement.
Wishing you the best as well.
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:16 pm
Hello Jenn,
Thank you so much for the response, it really did help me out a lot. I am trying to seek psychological help because I know that I need it. Thank you for sending positive thoughts because all of them make me feel better. I want to move on and I know that I will eventually just needed help in dealing with the process. Again, thank you for the encouragement.
Wishing you the best as well.
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:05 pm
Everybody on this forum understands the challenges with a melanoma diagnosis. The mental portion is real…so don't feal abnormal about the anxiety. But also be reassured that your diagnosis/prognosis is very good.
Some suggestions for coping and stuff you can do that will actually make a difference going forward. Get good pictures of your entire body. I don't mean glamour shots…the down and dirty detailed shots. Take like 75 -100 pictures from every angle…and from far away and then close up.
I see a dermatologist every 3 months and he has done 25-30 biospopies which are almost nothing on a relative scope of what else i/we have to endure. He has his pictures and I have my own and we compare anything suspicious or has changed. (you probably won't need to go more than once per year is my guess)
It doesn't really matter who takes the picture…save them on a flash drive and move on with living your life.
…and have some fun…
Michel
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:18 pm
Hello Michel,
Thank you so much for the encouragement, I have done pictures of my body before, but I will definitely be doing more detailed ones at this point. I want to move on and realize I need help doing that and your guys responses have meant so much to me.
Best wishes to you Michel
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:18 pm
Hello Michel,
Thank you so much for the encouragement, I have done pictures of my body before, but I will definitely be doing more detailed ones at this point. I want to move on and realize I need help doing that and your guys responses have meant so much to me.
Best wishes to you Michel
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- December 30, 2016 at 11:18 pm
Hello Michel,
Thank you so much for the encouragement, I have done pictures of my body before, but I will definitely be doing more detailed ones at this point. I want to move on and realize I need help doing that and your guys responses have meant so much to me.
Best wishes to you Michel
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- January 1, 2017 at 2:27 am
I had a stage 2A melanoma 6 years ago. It was pretty serious…involving a WLE with a 2 cm margin that required reconstruction of my heel. I went for a full month between my initial diagnosis and my final staging. I managed to handle that very scary time by actively doing things to take my mind off of my health.
Ideas to keep your mind occupied:
1) If you don't exercise regularly…joing a gym. Working out is one of the best way to balance your body chemistry, put your mind at ease, and give you a general feeling of well-being.
2) Seek out a new hobby
3) Write down a list of engaging things to think about instead of your health…then keep that list at arms reach at all times…and grab it the moment your mind wanders to your health issues (particularly the all-mighty "what if" scenarios).The bottom line is you are not in this alone. When I went through my nightmare in 2010, I also had nobody to turn to…and I found this forum very helpful. Just try NOT to read the really scary postings. They were not meant for your eyes.
Hang in there. Time heals (almost) all wounds. You will get past this! In time, you will be able to put it all in perspective. It is indeed very difficult at first to accept that the Universe would put you on this path. But…since my experience with cancer, I have met many people who have conquered cancer…some multiple different bouts of cancer. Shit happens. Hey…what if we are here just to be judged by how we handle ourselves in times of crisis or despair?
Be strong!!!
Happy New Year!!!
Mark
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- January 1, 2017 at 2:27 am
I had a stage 2A melanoma 6 years ago. It was pretty serious…involving a WLE with a 2 cm margin that required reconstruction of my heel. I went for a full month between my initial diagnosis and my final staging. I managed to handle that very scary time by actively doing things to take my mind off of my health.
Ideas to keep your mind occupied:
1) If you don't exercise regularly…joing a gym. Working out is one of the best way to balance your body chemistry, put your mind at ease, and give you a general feeling of well-being.
2) Seek out a new hobby
3) Write down a list of engaging things to think about instead of your health…then keep that list at arms reach at all times…and grab it the moment your mind wanders to your health issues (particularly the all-mighty "what if" scenarios).The bottom line is you are not in this alone. When I went through my nightmare in 2010, I also had nobody to turn to…and I found this forum very helpful. Just try NOT to read the really scary postings. They were not meant for your eyes.
Hang in there. Time heals (almost) all wounds. You will get past this! In time, you will be able to put it all in perspective. It is indeed very difficult at first to accept that the Universe would put you on this path. But…since my experience with cancer, I have met many people who have conquered cancer…some multiple different bouts of cancer. Shit happens. Hey…what if we are here just to be judged by how we handle ourselves in times of crisis or despair?
Be strong!!!
Happy New Year!!!
Mark
-
- January 1, 2017 at 2:27 am
I had a stage 2A melanoma 6 years ago. It was pretty serious…involving a WLE with a 2 cm margin that required reconstruction of my heel. I went for a full month between my initial diagnosis and my final staging. I managed to handle that very scary time by actively doing things to take my mind off of my health.
Ideas to keep your mind occupied:
1) If you don't exercise regularly…joing a gym. Working out is one of the best way to balance your body chemistry, put your mind at ease, and give you a general feeling of well-being.
2) Seek out a new hobby
3) Write down a list of engaging things to think about instead of your health…then keep that list at arms reach at all times…and grab it the moment your mind wanders to your health issues (particularly the all-mighty "what if" scenarios).The bottom line is you are not in this alone. When I went through my nightmare in 2010, I also had nobody to turn to…and I found this forum very helpful. Just try NOT to read the really scary postings. They were not meant for your eyes.
Hang in there. Time heals (almost) all wounds. You will get past this! In time, you will be able to put it all in perspective. It is indeed very difficult at first to accept that the Universe would put you on this path. But…since my experience with cancer, I have met many people who have conquered cancer…some multiple different bouts of cancer. Shit happens. Hey…what if we are here just to be judged by how we handle ourselves in times of crisis or despair?
Be strong!!!
Happy New Year!!!
Mark
-
- December 30, 2016 at 11:05 pm
Everybody on this forum understands the challenges with a melanoma diagnosis. The mental portion is real…so don't feal abnormal about the anxiety. But also be reassured that your diagnosis/prognosis is very good.
Some suggestions for coping and stuff you can do that will actually make a difference going forward. Get good pictures of your entire body. I don't mean glamour shots…the down and dirty detailed shots. Take like 75 -100 pictures from every angle…and from far away and then close up.
I see a dermatologist every 3 months and he has done 25-30 biospopies which are almost nothing on a relative scope of what else i/we have to endure. He has his pictures and I have my own and we compare anything suspicious or has changed. (you probably won't need to go more than once per year is my guess)
It doesn't really matter who takes the picture…save them on a flash drive and move on with living your life.
…and have some fun…
Michel
-
- December 30, 2016 at 11:05 pm
Everybody on this forum understands the challenges with a melanoma diagnosis. The mental portion is real…so don't feal abnormal about the anxiety. But also be reassured that your diagnosis/prognosis is very good.
Some suggestions for coping and stuff you can do that will actually make a difference going forward. Get good pictures of your entire body. I don't mean glamour shots…the down and dirty detailed shots. Take like 75 -100 pictures from every angle…and from far away and then close up.
I see a dermatologist every 3 months and he has done 25-30 biospopies which are almost nothing on a relative scope of what else i/we have to endure. He has his pictures and I have my own and we compare anything suspicious or has changed. (you probably won't need to go more than once per year is my guess)
It doesn't really matter who takes the picture…save them on a flash drive and move on with living your life.
…and have some fun…
Michel
-
- January 2, 2017 at 3:24 am
Hi there Anon; my name is Charlie and I've been at this Melanoma thing a while (extending my hand for a virtual handshake).
I see you have a sweaty palm——————–that's okay.
It's a tough thing to find out that none of us are getting out of here alive , then only to find out that YOU might be on the short list.
It's okay to flip out a bit about that news, really it is.
Here is the rub,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you want to spend your life hoping about living or worrying about dying?
Spend your days wringing your hands about dying? Melanoma wins.
Spend your time using your head for something besides a hatrack and focus on livng ? You win.
To me, it has always been a matter of working the problem………….that is to say define the problem and then find a solution or a compromise………………….but WORK THE PROBLEM
If you just can not get your head around the fear of croaking from cancer………..then find a professional to help you through that.
If you do not thinnk you have had adequate clinical guidance in the actual nuts and bolts of your diagnosis, then find a professional to help you through that.
There are tools available to you to help you through this; but you must define what you want and reach out.
Most of all…………………………..WORK THE PROBLEM as you see it.
The absolute best first step you have taken is to write down your emotions in order to organize yur thoughts.
Cheers,
Charlie S
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- January 2, 2017 at 3:24 am
Hi there Anon; my name is Charlie and I've been at this Melanoma thing a while (extending my hand for a virtual handshake).
I see you have a sweaty palm——————–that's okay.
It's a tough thing to find out that none of us are getting out of here alive , then only to find out that YOU might be on the short list.
It's okay to flip out a bit about that news, really it is.
Here is the rub,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you want to spend your life hoping about living or worrying about dying?
Spend your days wringing your hands about dying? Melanoma wins.
Spend your time using your head for something besides a hatrack and focus on livng ? You win.
To me, it has always been a matter of working the problem………….that is to say define the problem and then find a solution or a compromise………………….but WORK THE PROBLEM
If you just can not get your head around the fear of croaking from cancer………..then find a professional to help you through that.
If you do not thinnk you have had adequate clinical guidance in the actual nuts and bolts of your diagnosis, then find a professional to help you through that.
There are tools available to you to help you through this; but you must define what you want and reach out.
Most of all…………………………..WORK THE PROBLEM as you see it.
The absolute best first step you have taken is to write down your emotions in order to organize yur thoughts.
Cheers,
Charlie S
-
- January 2, 2017 at 3:24 am
Hi there Anon; my name is Charlie and I've been at this Melanoma thing a while (extending my hand for a virtual handshake).
I see you have a sweaty palm——————–that's okay.
It's a tough thing to find out that none of us are getting out of here alive , then only to find out that YOU might be on the short list.
It's okay to flip out a bit about that news, really it is.
Here is the rub,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you want to spend your life hoping about living or worrying about dying?
Spend your days wringing your hands about dying? Melanoma wins.
Spend your time using your head for something besides a hatrack and focus on livng ? You win.
To me, it has always been a matter of working the problem………….that is to say define the problem and then find a solution or a compromise………………….but WORK THE PROBLEM
If you just can not get your head around the fear of croaking from cancer………..then find a professional to help you through that.
If you do not thinnk you have had adequate clinical guidance in the actual nuts and bolts of your diagnosis, then find a professional to help you through that.
There are tools available to you to help you through this; but you must define what you want and reach out.
Most of all…………………………..WORK THE PROBLEM as you see it.
The absolute best first step you have taken is to write down your emotions in order to organize yur thoughts.
Cheers,
Charlie S
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