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BMW

  • Post
    Janner
    Participant

    B!tch, Moan and Whine – for those who don't know.  I just need to do a little BMW!

    B!tch, Moan and Whine – for those who don't know.  I just need to do a little BMW!

    After learning last week that my Dad has advanced to stage III melanoma (already stage IV prostate cancer), my Mom gets a call from her derm today.  She had a biopsy last week.  She tells me this morning the doctor said she had melanoma.  I'm like "WHAT????"  I guess the doc actually said the lesion was worrisome for melanoma.  So the derm calls her today with the results.  Luckily, I was there at the time and I talked to the derm.  She was diagnosed with Lentigo Maligna – so an in situ lesion.  Not overly worrisome except my Dad has a real possibility that melanoma is what will kill him.  She doesn't need the same disease.  I'm adopted so my 3 primaries don't come from them, but what are the odds of having both parents with melanoma and me, too?

    Ok, back to your regularly scheduled program….

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  • Replies
      vickie
      Participant

      Jan

      I'm so sorry about both your Mom & Dad. I know you will be able to help them understand with all your amazing knowledge of MM.

      If it makes you feel less alone, my mom had most of her ear removed Monday from an SCC that her primary kept freezing off and they discovered it has spread to her salivary gland as well. My MIL is having an SCC removed from the bridge of her nose next week and had a mole biopsied on her back that was very suspicious for melanoma. I don't know which way to go or who to help first.

       

      PS Maybe they ARE your real parents and just told you you were adopted?  :)

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        Janner
        Participant

        Wow, that sucks about your Mom!  Let me know how that goes – and your MIL, too.  I know my Mom's prognosis is fine, and that this is just another bump in the road.  The irony part just gets to me.  And you know, I DO seem to be less "adopted" than my brother who is their natural son!

        smiley

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        Janner
        Participant

        Wow, that sucks about your Mom!  Let me know how that goes – and your MIL, too.  I know my Mom's prognosis is fine, and that this is just another bump in the road.  The irony part just gets to me.  And you know, I DO seem to be less "adopted" than my brother who is their natural son!

        smiley

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        JakeinNY
        Participant

        Going to a primary or a general dermatologist for suspected skin cancer is not the way to go as I learned (the hard way).

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        JakeinNY
        Participant

        Going to a primary or a general dermatologist for suspected skin cancer is not the way to go as I learned (the hard way).

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      vickie
      Participant

      Jan

      I'm so sorry about both your Mom & Dad. I know you will be able to help them understand with all your amazing knowledge of MM.

      If it makes you feel less alone, my mom had most of her ear removed Monday from an SCC that her primary kept freezing off and they discovered it has spread to her salivary gland as well. My MIL is having an SCC removed from the bridge of her nose next week and had a mole biopsied on her back that was very suspicious for melanoma. I don't know which way to go or who to help first.

       

      PS Maybe they ARE your real parents and just told you you were adopted?  :)

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      dian in spokane
      Participant

      I bet there are some undiagnosed melanomas in the elderly population too. I am SURE my dad had some when he died. He had terrible skin in his old age, from many years of working and playing in the sun.

      I'm sorry Jan, I know you have plenty on your plate right now.

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        Janner
        Participant

        I'm sure you're right, Dian.  In reality, my Mom has often been told that she's the one who needs to watch her skin.  She sees a derm regularly.  That's why we were so surprised when my Dad ended up with melanoma as his skin is much better than hers.  This probably could have stayed on my Mom and not been an issue – at 83, things aren't growing all that fast.  At the same time, why tempt fate.  She'll survive a large WLE and hopefully no other issues.  I could just do without another "issue" right now!  Thanks for your support!

        ~j~

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        Janner
        Participant

        I'm sure you're right, Dian.  In reality, my Mom has often been told that she's the one who needs to watch her skin.  She sees a derm regularly.  That's why we were so surprised when my Dad ended up with melanoma as his skin is much better than hers.  This probably could have stayed on my Mom and not been an issue – at 83, things aren't growing all that fast.  At the same time, why tempt fate.  She'll survive a large WLE and hopefully no other issues.  I could just do without another "issue" right now!  Thanks for your support!

        ~j~

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      dian in spokane
      Participant

      I bet there are some undiagnosed melanomas in the elderly population too. I am SURE my dad had some when he died. He had terrible skin in his old age, from many years of working and playing in the sun.

      I'm sorry Jan, I know you have plenty on your plate right now.

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      Kimmer
      Participant

      Well, goodgollygosh Jan.

      I guess it just shows that your family loves life and played in the sun.  It is freaky though.  Does your mom love tennis as well?

      (Must admit that at first I just thought that you had a new car.)

      I am sure sending good thoughts to y'all.  It must be a lot to take in at once.

      Take good care, K.

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        Janner
        Participant

        Kimmer!

        I WISH it was a beamer BMW, lol.  That would be a lot more fun to handle!

        My Dad did everything outside.  Tennis, golf, skiing, swimming, even sun bathing to get his vitamin D for his health.  My Mom learned to golf and play tennis so she could do some things with him.  But she was always more conscious of her skin and wasn't a sun worshiper.  She didn't really tan like my Dad but she didn't burn a lot either.  She has black hair but not really fair skin, but not olive either.  You know how things were 30+ years ago.  No sun block and the sun wasn't really considered an enemy.  My Mom has tons of age spots (lentigos) on her face an arms.  So did her Mom.  Both her parents had early skin cancers frozen/removed.  I was certain when I talked to her derm that this would be Lentigo Maligna just given her skin appearance.

        Mom had cataract surgery yesterday only to have this news delivered after she got home.  It was a long day and I was venting.  She'll be fine, but it is still something I wish I didn't have to deal with, and the irony part really gets me!

        Thanks!

        Janner

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        Nancylee
        Participant

        You really do have your hands full these days. Its a good thing you have the new husband to help you get through all this. Men are good for something.  Well.. in your case a few things.

        I am always available to vent and bang on tables. I will help you make a lot of noise.

        Nanner. ( haha! I felt I should follow the theme.. Janner.. kimmer..!!)

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        Janner
        Participant

        You should call me and we could b!tch and moan and whine about everything!!!!  Might not solve a dang thing, but it sure would be fun!!!!

        Luv ya,

        ~j~

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        Kimmer
        Participant

        So sorry 'bout the 'kimmer' thing…last year when this site changed, I tried to register with a bunch of my other aliases (Kim in AL, Kim the one in FL, Floridogz, etc.) and nothin' worked for some reason.  Out of frustration, I typed it 'kimmer' which is what most friends wind up calling me (that or k.).  It worked for the registration, so here I am.

        Just thought I would 'splain.  It is kind of a kewl theme though.

        Take good care, k.

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        Janner
        Participant

        When I first joined MPIP, there were a boatload of Jan's.  Janet, Jan, JustJan… and them some.  I have a friend who calls me Janner so it seemed a good choice to be differentiated from the other Jan's.  Nowadays, I don't see too many Jan's here.  But Janner is who I'll always be on this site – just different enough to stand out.  Apparently unisex, too, as I've often been mistaken for being male!.surprise

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        Janner
        Participant

        When I first joined MPIP, there were a boatload of Jan's.  Janet, Jan, JustJan… and them some.  I have a friend who calls me Janner so it seemed a good choice to be differentiated from the other Jan's.  Nowadays, I don't see too many Jan's here.  But Janner is who I'll always be on this site – just different enough to stand out.  Apparently unisex, too, as I've often been mistaken for being male!.surprise

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        Kimmer
        Participant

        So sorry 'bout the 'kimmer' thing…last year when this site changed, I tried to register with a bunch of my other aliases (Kim in AL, Kim the one in FL, Floridogz, etc.) and nothin' worked for some reason.  Out of frustration, I typed it 'kimmer' which is what most friends wind up calling me (that or k.).  It worked for the registration, so here I am.

        Just thought I would 'splain.  It is kind of a kewl theme though.

        Take good care, k.

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        Janner
        Participant

        You should call me and we could b!tch and moan and whine about everything!!!!  Might not solve a dang thing, but it sure would be fun!!!!

        Luv ya,

        ~j~

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        Nancylee
        Participant

        You really do have your hands full these days. Its a good thing you have the new husband to help you get through all this. Men are good for something.  Well.. in your case a few things.

        I am always available to vent and bang on tables. I will help you make a lot of noise.

        Nanner. ( haha! I felt I should follow the theme.. Janner.. kimmer..!!)

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        Janner
        Participant

        Kimmer!

        I WISH it was a beamer BMW, lol.  That would be a lot more fun to handle!

        My Dad did everything outside.  Tennis, golf, skiing, swimming, even sun bathing to get his vitamin D for his health.  My Mom learned to golf and play tennis so she could do some things with him.  But she was always more conscious of her skin and wasn't a sun worshiper.  She didn't really tan like my Dad but she didn't burn a lot either.  She has black hair but not really fair skin, but not olive either.  You know how things were 30+ years ago.  No sun block and the sun wasn't really considered an enemy.  My Mom has tons of age spots (lentigos) on her face an arms.  So did her Mom.  Both her parents had early skin cancers frozen/removed.  I was certain when I talked to her derm that this would be Lentigo Maligna just given her skin appearance.

        Mom had cataract surgery yesterday only to have this news delivered after she got home.  It was a long day and I was venting.  She'll be fine, but it is still something I wish I didn't have to deal with, and the irony part really gets me!

        Thanks!

        Janner

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      Kimmer
      Participant

      Well, goodgollygosh Jan.

      I guess it just shows that your family loves life and played in the sun.  It is freaky though.  Does your mom love tennis as well?

      (Must admit that at first I just thought that you had a new car.)

      I am sure sending good thoughts to y'all.  It must be a lot to take in at once.

      Take good care, K.

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      BillMFl
      Participant

      Did you mean WBM?? Wide bowell movement? Cause thats kinda shitty news for your parents. I guess the odds were 100% for you guys.  Well I can personally testify that nothing gets better as we get older. For them to be in their 80's they have already beaten the odds and almost everyone in that age group is dealing with something serious health wise. But you got a good reason to BWM and they are lucky to have a knowlegeable person like you for advice etc.   

      Saw Vickie post, any high water Vickie? Saw that the harbour there got some big waves. Planning on going out that way next fall.

       

      Back to Janner, will be out west sometime later this year. Hope to visit places in Utah that I haven't seen yet.

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        Janner
        Participant

        No question about it, Bill.  It doesn't get easier or better as we age.  My parents have actually done a decent job avoiding lots of ailments, but the age of 80+ seemed to be a big milestone.  Dad's had 4 cancers dx after 80 (if you don't count basal and squamous cell).  Mom has done better, but is struggling more mentally and emotionally with being old.  Life is quite intimidating to her now.

        So, where in Utah haven't you explored?  It's a decent size state and there ARE amazing areas that aren't National Parks, etc. 

        Hope all is hanging in here in your neck of the woods.  Pat doing ok???

        Janner

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        Janner
        Participant

        No question about it, Bill.  It doesn't get easier or better as we age.  My parents have actually done a decent job avoiding lots of ailments, but the age of 80+ seemed to be a big milestone.  Dad's had 4 cancers dx after 80 (if you don't count basal and squamous cell).  Mom has done better, but is struggling more mentally and emotionally with being old.  Life is quite intimidating to her now.

        So, where in Utah haven't you explored?  It's a decent size state and there ARE amazing areas that aren't National Parks, etc. 

        Hope all is hanging in here in your neck of the woods.  Pat doing ok???

        Janner

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      BillMFl
      Participant

      Did you mean WBM?? Wide bowell movement? Cause thats kinda shitty news for your parents. I guess the odds were 100% for you guys.  Well I can personally testify that nothing gets better as we get older. For them to be in their 80's they have already beaten the odds and almost everyone in that age group is dealing with something serious health wise. But you got a good reason to BWM and they are lucky to have a knowlegeable person like you for advice etc.   

      Saw Vickie post, any high water Vickie? Saw that the harbour there got some big waves. Planning on going out that way next fall.

       

      Back to Janner, will be out west sometime later this year. Hope to visit places in Utah that I haven't seen yet.

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      MichaelFL
      Participant

      Dad has a mildy atypical, and as of a few months ago, brother has stage one as well. I was adopted too, does that count?

      Bes wishes with your dad.

      Michael

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      MichaelFL
      Participant

      Dad has a mildy atypical, and as of a few months ago, brother has stage one as well. I was adopted too, does that count?

      Bes wishes with your dad.

      Michael

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      Suzan AB
      Participant

      I want to BMW too!!!  BMW, BMW, BMW…MFer!  Phew…now that feels better.  On-topic, Off-topic, seriously we have rules to post by as if the stress of having the "Beast" isn't bad enough?  Funny!  Does the line form only one way?  Crap, i am frustrated, angry, hopeful, confused, peaceful, angry.   i am a popper-in, popper-out…that is how I handle stress I look for options, connections and when my stress level gets too high…I become invisible.  The stress of losing my home to cover medical costs, the stress of applying for disability social security (worked the majority of my adult life…26 years) only to be told that I have to wait 6 months because I worked during my previous treatments. Well, Whoo Hoo for me.  On top of that, I get to wait 2 years before I can apply for medicare because I am only 57…can I hear Whoo Hoo again! 

      We used up our retirement paying for insurance co-pays, and the like these past 4 years.  Loss all the equity we had in our home…bought at the high 2006 placed large amount of cash down-the-fricken housing market drain.  We wanted to refi and buy a small 5th wheel or something we could manage so we could travel and see this country…haahahaha BMW, BMW, BMW somemore!…Refi…no such luck!!!  Gets pretty bad when your family tries to help raise funds via an online fundraiser…How do you say…I am HUMBLED!   

      Anyways, life has gotten tuff, real tuff with the illness, with the bills, with the you can't travel because "somebody" stole your American Dream…

      But heck, what are we Americans told to do when all we have is lemons…thats a good brainwashed American Ant….you make lemonaide and don't complain.  Don't complain because it is not polite.  Be Good, Smile, then say goodbye like Amy B. did.   If you are good in your veribage and don't make waves then perhaps they will like you…I say like this….

      Take me as i am, a beat-up crazy Fing-Fu Masta Su who will travel in her dreams!  Sunflowers to All…

      Suzan AB

      Stage IV Decision time…

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      Suzan AB
      Participant

      I want to BMW too!!!  BMW, BMW, BMW…MFer!  Phew…now that feels better.  On-topic, Off-topic, seriously we have rules to post by as if the stress of having the "Beast" isn't bad enough?  Funny!  Does the line form only one way?  Crap, i am frustrated, angry, hopeful, confused, peaceful, angry.   i am a popper-in, popper-out…that is how I handle stress I look for options, connections and when my stress level gets too high…I become invisible.  The stress of losing my home to cover medical costs, the stress of applying for disability social security (worked the majority of my adult life…26 years) only to be told that I have to wait 6 months because I worked during my previous treatments. Well, Whoo Hoo for me.  On top of that, I get to wait 2 years before I can apply for medicare because I am only 57…can I hear Whoo Hoo again! 

      We used up our retirement paying for insurance co-pays, and the like these past 4 years.  Loss all the equity we had in our home…bought at the high 2006 placed large amount of cash down-the-fricken housing market drain.  We wanted to refi and buy a small 5th wheel or something we could manage so we could travel and see this country…haahahaha BMW, BMW, BMW somemore!…Refi…no such luck!!!  Gets pretty bad when your family tries to help raise funds via an online fundraiser…How do you say…I am HUMBLED!   

      Anyways, life has gotten tuff, real tuff with the illness, with the bills, with the you can't travel because "somebody" stole your American Dream…

      But heck, what are we Americans told to do when all we have is lemons…thats a good brainwashed American Ant….you make lemonaide and don't complain.  Don't complain because it is not polite.  Be Good, Smile, then say goodbye like Amy B. did.   If you are good in your veribage and don't make waves then perhaps they will like you…I say like this….

      Take me as i am, a beat-up crazy Fing-Fu Masta Su who will travel in her dreams!  Sunflowers to All…

      Suzan AB

      Stage IV Decision time…

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      CKasper
      Participant

      Sorry to hear about all the CA in your family.  My family is the same.  MY dad died of Multiple Myleloma in 1988, My mother still alive breast cancer in 1998, my cousin blood line to my father died of Melanoma  she was 58 years old, I have had melanoma since the 1980s and I'm stage IIIB.  Stage III isn't as bad as they say it is…..at least not for me.  I refused treatment, that was in 2006 and I am still here.  My dad refused treatment for his disease and they said he'd live for 10 years with treatment and 6 months to a year without….he lived for 8 years without treatment.  My mother had a mastectomy and no other treatment and she is still here.  I have a friend who was diagnosed stage 4 melanoma in 2005, her treatment was with a naturalpath healer and she is still here.  Then there are those where treatment has really helped.  Its a personal decision.  My father in law had prostate cancer and went through agony with treatment that was 5 years ago and he is still here.  So who knows?  If you believe in a higher power, I think its really up to them. 

       

      CK

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      CKasper
      Participant

      Sorry to hear about all the CA in your family.  My family is the same.  MY dad died of Multiple Myleloma in 1988, My mother still alive breast cancer in 1998, my cousin blood line to my father died of Melanoma  she was 58 years old, I have had melanoma since the 1980s and I'm stage IIIB.  Stage III isn't as bad as they say it is…..at least not for me.  I refused treatment, that was in 2006 and I am still here.  My dad refused treatment for his disease and they said he'd live for 10 years with treatment and 6 months to a year without….he lived for 8 years without treatment.  My mother had a mastectomy and no other treatment and she is still here.  I have a friend who was diagnosed stage 4 melanoma in 2005, her treatment was with a naturalpath healer and she is still here.  Then there are those where treatment has really helped.  Its a personal decision.  My father in law had prostate cancer and went through agony with treatment that was 5 years ago and he is still here.  So who knows?  If you believe in a higher power, I think its really up to them. 

       

      CK

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