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6 months in and good news?
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6 months in and good news?

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › 6 months in and good news?

  • Post
    • December 8, 2019 at 4:13 am
    Hanaln
    Participant
      For those that don’t know my story, my 33 yo husband was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma is April 2019. The first dr that saw us was not a specialist And told my husband he would be lucky to live 3 years. Basing this on knowledge of a past melanoma my husband had and waiting on the new PET scan results. Well come to find out the next day he looks at the scans and says he is surprised to see no other cancer so that was good. But why give us a 3 year life sentence if you don’t have all the information? That continues to stick with and bother my in my most anxious moment. After that we changed to a melanoma specialist and have had better care. Last week my husband had his second set of scans since starting Keytruda and there was so signs of cancer. Just as his first scans showed. I feel like this is great news right?? It is hard to tell what the dr is thinking because I think they’ve been trained to not show too much emotion. I’m always worrying about my husband, our baby, the next scans, how our lives will look in a few years. Will it be our family unit or will I be a single mom and widow? I can’t go there because my thoughts get dark but I feel safe sharing on this site. I guess a few questions are, what are your experiences with doctors and how the deliver you scan news? Does it make sense to think that the longer he beats it without anything reoccurring the better? Or does it even matter? I’m trying to educate myself while also trying to sift through the information to see if there is any way to restrain my worry and anxiety
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        • December 8, 2019 at 7:57 am
        MelMel
        Participant
          I would not worry about what one non melanoma dr told your husband. Personally, I believe no Dr can nor should give such prognosis especially in light of enormous strides immunotherapy has had on melanoma outcomes. Rather concentrate on the positive outcome since your husband is having excellent results and is doing all he can to prevent a recurrence. Furthermore, he is being treated by a melanoma specialist and is in much better hands. As for relieving some pressure off yourself, I know you have a baby and it may be difficult, as well as it will take time but try to become a bit more self sufficient and less dependant on your husband. If anything by doing this, you will see that you will be o.k. come what may and this may offer you some much needed stress relief on being so dependent on your husband. This does not apply only because he has a melanoma diagnosis but I think it is a prudent thing for any woman to do regardless of her circumstance. You have everything going for you so please try to move your thoughts and actions into positive direction bit by bit. Fear is paralyzing and serves no purpose than to move people into action. Use your energy wisely.
          You are much stronger than you think!
          May your husband continue having success and may you spend the holidays surrounded by family, peace and love.
          Melanie
          • December 8, 2019 at 5:18 pm
          Bubbles
          Participant
            Hanaln,

            So sorry for the anxiety, worry and burdens I know you must face daily! While I was lucky to find effective treatment for my Stage IV melanoma, I was even more blessed to have the caretakers I have in my life. I know the weight we place upon you is huge, but our caregivers really carry us through. Never doubt the incredible gift you are to your husband. However, YES!!!!! EVERY single day that melanoma patients make it through is a blessing!! And not just emotionally either! Data and science is very clear that the longer a melanoma patient can maintain stability, gradual improvement and especially NED status – the BETTER!!! Kaplan Meier curves from many studies (you can use the search bubble on my blog if you want to read about them for yourself) demonstrate that the longer a patient maintains a positive status the more likely it is that that status will be maintained.

            There are no guarantees in life – and especially not in melanoma world – but your husband seems to be on the start of a good trend and is certainly lucky to have you and your little one in his life. Enjoy a wonderful holiday season. Yours, celeste

            • December 9, 2019 at 12:53 am
            Coragirl
            Participant
              Hello, reading your post I see myself i have all the same fears and worries. However over the past year I have been able to put those feelings away more often and in time you will be able to do that too. Each morning i wake up I say to myself I will not let melanoma take my day! Most days my mantra works. I am so happy to hear about your husband’s excellent scans. My husband’s doctors are the same way they don’t show too much emotion. It absolutely makes sense to believe that the longer he beats it the better, also remember if he does have something pop up on a scan that there is treatment and hope. I am hoping that you can take a breath and enjoy the holiday season and the great news of your husband’s health! Best wishes.
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