1 week pre-op and freaking out!

Kim

I can understand your fear.  I will admit that from the day I heard my diagnosis, I've been taking a xanax in the evening just to calm my mind.  I took my daughters ipod with me for the SNB tracer and they let me listen to it.  It took my mind off of the little pokes they do around the melanoma site.  I've had 5 surgeries in the past 9 years and I still freak out every time.  I was told that there was only a 20 percent chance it had spread to my lymph node.  I found out 2 weeks laster it had, but the rest of my nodes were clear and it was only a tiny  amount that they found.  The odds are with you. 

You aren't alone.  We are all hear for support.

Amy S. in Michigan

Kim

I can understand your fear.  I will admit that from the day I heard my diagnosis, I've been taking a xanax in the evening just to calm my mind.  I took my daughters ipod with me for the SNB tracer and they let me listen to it.  It took my mind off of the little pokes they do around the melanoma site.  I've had 5 surgeries in the past 9 years and I still freak out every time.  I was told that there was only a 20 percent chance it had spread to my lymph node.  I found out 2 weeks laster it had, but the rest of my nodes were clear and it was only a tiny  amount that they found.  The odds are with you. 

You aren't alone.  We are all hear for support.

Amy S. in Michigan

Kim

When you go in for your pre-op visit and talk to the anesteologist (sorry about the spelling) make sure to tell them about your last experience.  If they know of the issue then they can prevent.

I do know that I've never woken up with a tube down my throat but my husband is not allowed in until I am through with the recovery part. At least in Charlotte where I've had my last several surgeries I wake up and there is a nurse by my side who is montering me. If I have pain they take care of it, if I'm cold they get me blankets ect. That nurse does not leave my side till I'm totally conscience and ready to be moved to the next section where once they take my vitals another time then they go and get my husband.

The Dr will have talked to your husband while you are in recovery. You will probably ask your husband many times what the Dr said but you won't remember what he says.  The Dr will most likely tell your husband that you are recovering and how many nodes he took out and maybe something about your recovery. They will not have the final results of the pathology for a few days.  As my urology oncologist has told us, he will not speculate on the results. He once told someone that everything looked good and it turned out it was not. He said he learned his lesson that one time and now will not predict.

Take this time to have fun with your children. Take them to the zoo, shopping, whatever, just keep busy.  Being busy helps and it also will reasure your children.

Oh yeah, for me the worst part is putting in the IV. Now they numb the area first for me and I no longer dread that part.

Linda

stage IV since 06  ….  more surgeries than I care to remember …. NED 2 months

Kim

When you go in for your pre-op visit and talk to the anesteologist (sorry about the spelling) make sure to tell them about your last experience.  If they know of the issue then they can prevent.

I do know that I've never woken up with a tube down my throat but my husband is not allowed in until I am through with the recovery part. At least in Charlotte where I've had my last several surgeries I wake up and there is a nurse by my side who is montering me. If I have pain they take care of it, if I'm cold they get me blankets ect. That nurse does not leave my side till I'm totally conscience and ready to be moved to the next section where once they take my vitals another time then they go and get my husband.

The Dr will have talked to your husband while you are in recovery. You will probably ask your husband many times what the Dr said but you won't remember what he says.  The Dr will most likely tell your husband that you are recovering and how many nodes he took out and maybe something about your recovery. They will not have the final results of the pathology for a few days.  As my urology oncologist has told us, he will not speculate on the results. He once told someone that everything looked good and it turned out it was not. He said he learned his lesson that one time and now will not predict.

Take this time to have fun with your children. Take them to the zoo, shopping, whatever, just keep busy.  Being busy helps and it also will reasure your children.

Oh yeah, for me the worst part is putting in the IV. Now they numb the area first for me and I no longer dread that part.

Linda

stage IV since 06  ….  more surgeries than I care to remember …. NED 2 months

Hi Kim

I know how you feel, it is really hard.  I had a c-section then 3 months later had the same procedure as you (with very similar pathology).  It was a really difficult time with the not knowing and having a very young baby and toddler to care for as well as a difficult recovery being off my feet for a month.  I hope you manage to get some time out from being a carer so you can look after yourself properly.  It is a big lesson that I am still learning that I need to look after myself first – without you everything falls down.  I'm still not sure what words might help somebody with the waiting and not knowing, none of us know for sure what is going to happen to us in the future.  It is very frightening especially with the little ones to think of.  I do know though that you have a really good chance it will be negative – I am not sure of the exact stats but the odds are very much on your side and you just need to remember that.  Make sure you take time out, go for walks etc and just look after yourself mentally and physically.  A couple of friends of mine were of huge support (and they weren't the ones I expected to be!) so talk to people and see who can help you deal with it as not everybody can.  Anyway, my 2c worth. Best wishes

Hi Kim

I know how you feel, it is really hard.  I had a c-section then 3 months later had the same procedure as you (with very similar pathology).  It was a really difficult time with the not knowing and having a very young baby and toddler to care for as well as a difficult recovery being off my feet for a month.  I hope you manage to get some time out from being a carer so you can look after yourself properly.  It is a big lesson that I am still learning that I need to look after myself first – without you everything falls down.  I'm still not sure what words might help somebody with the waiting and not knowing, none of us know for sure what is going to happen to us in the future.  It is very frightening especially with the little ones to think of.  I do know though that you have a really good chance it will be negative – I am not sure of the exact stats but the odds are very much on your side and you just need to remember that.  Make sure you take time out, go for walks etc and just look after yourself mentally and physically.  A couple of friends of mine were of huge support (and they weren't the ones I expected to be!) so talk to people and see who can help you deal with it as not everybody can.  Anyway, my 2c worth. Best wishes

HI Kim,

Great ideas on taking the ipod, doing things to take your mind off things, Linda walked you through what to expect.

So, I want to pick up your "what ifs."  What if crap is getting old? That's a huge one we all think about. If something's there, it's there and growing and getting huge, and spreading who knows where…Sound about where your mind is going? I remember that's where mine went.

Brief mole history: my dreadful mole started noticeably changin in March 2008. I finally got the nerve to start calling derm offices for appt to get it removed in late April-early May, that time frame. None could see me till Sept-Oct. Finally after several calls I took a Sept 28th appt. I knew by how my mole had changed and looked that it was cancerous. When it started bleeding in JULY, I was beyond positive. I was taking classes on the Duke campus, went to a Duke Urgent Care that afternoon, got it removed. Canceled the Sept 28th appt. Learned a week later it was melanoma and they had already made me an appt with Duke onc.  Remember, if I hadn't been where I was and if it hadn't started bleeding, I would have held to that thing 2 and a half more months.

I asked my surgical onc, a mel spec, later what would have been the outcome had that scenario played out instead of what happened. And he told me that it would have been the same results…mel in first sentinel node..maybe, maybe might have begun moving into a second…no major changes.

So, what's there now is what will be there in a week.

What if they find something? They'll tell you and your husband. They'll give you recommendations based on what they find. You'll freak out a little more then get your head together and make a plan. You'll deal with it and do what you have to do.

What if there's a complication? You'll be surrounded by topnotch doctors and nurses of various kinds with various abilities and specialties. You will not be alone. They'll handle it. Depending on the potential complication, it may increase your recovery time, you may need an extra day in the hospital, again, you'll handle the particular ccomplication as it needs to be handled because you'll do what you have to do.

Chances are in your favor that there will be no complications for your particular procedure and they'll send you home that evening…yes, they generally don't keep you.

People will say the stats are in your favor for this or that, the problem is that all stats, the positive side and the negative side are made up of people that the things happened to. While stats are usually in someone's favor, that doesn't mean you won't be that small stat after all. I've found myself in that spot several times. It happens. it's no fun when it happens to you, so you're doing well to ask your questions.

So, another way to get over being freaked out, besides the ways you've been given, are to understand that whatever happens, it's workable and usually fixable. Have a plan in mind..if I have to stay the night… if they find something I'll…talk with your husband, don't leave him out…how will he help pick up the pieces if you're in bed a few days…?Make a plan.  That might help.

Hoping all goes well and they find nothing. If they do find something, we'll help you deal with it. Will be thinking about you friend.

Grace and peace,

Carol

HI Kim,

Great ideas on taking the ipod, doing things to take your mind off things, Linda walked you through what to expect.

So, I want to pick up your "what ifs."  What if crap is getting old? That's a huge one we all think about. If something's there, it's there and growing and getting huge, and spreading who knows where…Sound about where your mind is going? I remember that's where mine went.

Brief mole history: my dreadful mole started noticeably changin in March 2008. I finally got the nerve to start calling derm offices for appt to get it removed in late April-early May, that time frame. None could see me till Sept-Oct. Finally after several calls I took a Sept 28th appt. I knew by how my mole had changed and looked that it was cancerous. When it started bleeding in JULY, I was beyond positive. I was taking classes on the Duke campus, went to a Duke Urgent Care that afternoon, got it removed. Canceled the Sept 28th appt. Learned a week later it was melanoma and they had already made me an appt with Duke onc.  Remember, if I hadn't been where I was and if it hadn't started bleeding, I would have held to that thing 2 and a half more months.

I asked my surgical onc, a mel spec, later what would have been the outcome had that scenario played out instead of what happened. And he told me that it would have been the same results…mel in first sentinel node..maybe, maybe might have begun moving into a second…no major changes.

So, what's there now is what will be there in a week.

What if they find something? They'll tell you and your husband. They'll give you recommendations based on what they find. You'll freak out a little more then get your head together and make a plan. You'll deal with it and do what you have to do.

What if there's a complication? You'll be surrounded by topnotch doctors and nurses of various kinds with various abilities and specialties. You will not be alone. They'll handle it. Depending on the potential complication, it may increase your recovery time, you may need an extra day in the hospital, again, you'll handle the particular ccomplication as it needs to be handled because you'll do what you have to do.

Chances are in your favor that there will be no complications for your particular procedure and they'll send you home that evening…yes, they generally don't keep you.

People will say the stats are in your favor for this or that, the problem is that all stats, the positive side and the negative side are made up of people that the things happened to. While stats are usually in someone's favor, that doesn't mean you won't be that small stat after all. I've found myself in that spot several times. It happens. it's no fun when it happens to you, so you're doing well to ask your questions.

So, another way to get over being freaked out, besides the ways you've been given, are to understand that whatever happens, it's workable and usually fixable. Have a plan in mind..if I have to stay the night… if they find something I'll…talk with your husband, don't leave him out…how will he help pick up the pieces if you're in bed a few days…?Make a plan.  That might help.

Hoping all goes well and they find nothing. If they do find something, we'll help you deal with it. Will be thinking about you friend.

Grace and peace,

Carol

I was not found of going through any of the mess either. I just kept saying this needs to be done. Heck, I did not even like the thought of having a mole removed on my first derm visit. I really did not like it AT ALL when he said he wanted to remove four of them. I actually walked in the door and said shit, shit, shit-I can't believe I am here and doing this. I am now glad I did, as if I did not, I am not sure where I would be today.

I do not think anything would bother me now if I needed to have it done. Mole removal, SNB, more WLE surgery. I have seen many times what the beast can do, and I will do my best to stay ahead of the beast.

You'll be fine. You can do it.

Michael 1b

I was not found of going through any of the mess either. I just kept saying this needs to be done. Heck, I did not even like the thought of having a mole removed on my first derm visit. I really did not like it AT ALL when he said he wanted to remove four of them. I actually walked in the door and said shit, shit, shit-I can't believe I am here and doing this. I am now glad I did, as if I did not, I am not sure where I would be today.

I do not think anything would bother me now if I needed to have it done. Mole removal, SNB, more WLE surgery. I have seen many times what the beast can do, and I will do my best to stay ahead of the beast.

You'll be fine. You can do it.

Michael 1b

How did it all go?

How did it all go?