Re: 1 week pre-op and freaking out!

HI Kim,

Great ideas on taking the ipod, doing things to take your mind off things, Linda walked you through what to expect.

So, I want to pick up your "what ifs."  What if crap is getting old? That's a huge one we all think about. If something's there, it's there and growing and getting huge, and spreading who knows where…Sound about where your mind is going? I remember that's where mine went.

Brief mole history: my dreadful mole started noticeably changin in March 2008. I finally got the nerve to start calling derm offices for appt to get it removed in late April-early May, that time frame. None could see me till Sept-Oct. Finally after several calls I took a Sept 28th appt. I knew by how my mole had changed and looked that it was cancerous. When it started bleeding in JULY, I was beyond positive. I was taking classes on the Duke campus, went to a Duke Urgent Care that afternoon, got it removed. Canceled the Sept 28th appt. Learned a week later it was melanoma and they had already made me an appt with Duke onc.  Remember, if I hadn't been where I was and if it hadn't started bleeding, I would have held to that thing 2 and a half more months.

I asked my surgical onc, a mel spec, later what would have been the outcome had that scenario played out instead of what happened. And he told me that it would have been the same results…mel in first sentinel node..maybe, maybe might have begun moving into a second…no major changes.

So, what's there now is what will be there in a week.

What if they find something? They'll tell you and your husband. They'll give you recommendations based on what they find. You'll freak out a little more then get your head together and make a plan. You'll deal with it and do what you have to do.

What if there's a complication? You'll be surrounded by topnotch doctors and nurses of various kinds with various abilities and specialties. You will not be alone. They'll handle it. Depending on the potential complication, it may increase your recovery time, you may need an extra day in the hospital, again, you'll handle the particular ccomplication as it needs to be handled because you'll do what you have to do.

Chances are in your favor that there will be no complications for your particular procedure and they'll send you home that evening…yes, they generally don't keep you.

People will say the stats are in your favor for this or that, the problem is that all stats, the positive side and the negative side are made up of people that the things happened to. While stats are usually in someone's favor, that doesn't mean you won't be that small stat after all. I've found myself in that spot several times. It happens. it's no fun when it happens to you, so you're doing well to ask your questions.

So, another way to get over being freaked out, besides the ways you've been given, are to understand that whatever happens, it's workable and usually fixable. Have a plan in mind..if I have to stay the night… if they find something I'll…talk with your husband, don't leave him out…how will he help pick up the pieces if you're in bed a few days…?Make a plan.  That might help.

Hoping all goes well and they find nothing. If they do find something, we'll help you deal with it. Will be thinking about you friend.

Grace and peace,

Carol