MRF-Logo2019-Horizontal-RGB
So very sad
REGISTER
The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Content within the patient forum is user-generated and has not been reviewed by medical professionals. Other sections of the Melanoma Research Foundation website include information that has been reviewed by medical professionals as appropriate. All medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor or other qualified medical professional.

So very sad

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › So very sad

  • Post
    • June 6, 2017 at 6:13 am
    Shaneswife
    Participant

      I'm so sad these past few days. I watched cancer in a single week span take my husbands cognition and comprehension away. It's taken away his independence as he has to be watched 24 hours a day. My heart is so broken and hurts for him. The rapid decline is so hard to watch and I can only imagine what it's like for shane. The brain damage caused by swelling in his brain appears to be a permanent condition as even a week at 16mg of dex hasn't resolved it. 

      My nerves are so shot that I'm experiencing hives constantly and scratching raw. I feel like they are caused from emotional pain as Benadryl doesn't even touch them. And as soon as I start to get anxiety they start too. How weird how the body reacts to stress. 

      I'm hoping that by tomorrow the hospice doctors are able to start engaging while we keep Shane at home for as long as we can. Our hpc doctors make house calls. 

       

      janis

    Viewing 9 reply threads
    • Replies
        • June 6, 2017 at 6:21 am
        lindanat
        Participant

          Oh Janis, I feel like I know you and Shane and I'm so sorry for what you are both going through.  My heart is pounding for you both and I'm wishing you both some peace and quiet.

          Linda

          • June 6, 2017 at 10:06 am
          sgreenberg
          Participant

            Very sorry to hear. You seem to be living my nightmare.

            • June 6, 2017 at 11:47 am
            keepthefaith11
            Participant
              Oh Janis, my heart is breaking for you. Having gone through a similar situation with my dad I know how difficult it is to see their cognition vanish away. Even though it might seem they are not aware of what’s happening I firmly believe they are. You have been an amazing caretaker and keep showering him with love, he will find peace with you there with him.Sending all my love and prayers to you.

              Annie

              • June 6, 2017 at 1:32 pm
              RitysMom
              Participant

                Janis,

                My heart goes out to you…you truly are living every loved one's nightmare. I pray that Shane is able to be pain-free, comfortable, and surrounded by those he loves. You also need to take care of yourself! I know that's easy for me to say. I appreciate your openness and honesty as you share what you're going thru. I may not have answers or words to make anything better, but I am here for you to vent to. <3

                • June 6, 2017 at 3:11 pm
                sister of patient
                Participant

                  There aren't any words Janis to say how much we feel your heartbreak and sadness … but please know that we do feel it and that we care deeply!! Holding special thoughts in my heart for both of you!!

                  Barb

                  • June 6, 2017 at 4:52 pm
                  jbronicki
                  Participant

                    I'm so sorry Janis, but I'm so glad you have the courage to talk about how hard your situation is, that's a big thing.  I know Shane must be so amazed at how much you have cared for him and how much stress you are willing to endure to be there for your loved one.  If you know nothing else, know that you are amazing caregiver and others of us look at that in awe.  I'm hoping hospice can give you a break.  My aunt once told me something that really helped when taking care of my dad, she said that let the caregivers like hospice take over so you can focus all your energy on just loving the person.   Many hugs to you and shane.

                    • June 6, 2017 at 5:32 pm
                    Shannon B
                    Participant

                      So so sorry…

                      • June 6, 2017 at 5:37 pm
                      Patrisa
                      Participant

                        Dear Janis,

                        i can so relate to what you are saying, i was in the same situation as you when it comes to anxiety… I eventually went to the doctors and was given antidepressants, was not able to pull through on my own…. the meds really helped me…

                        I can't imagine what you are going through though, Between Shane deciding to quit treatment and fearing the worst….

                        I am so sorry for both of you, I will pray for you both…

                        God be with you….

                        Love,

                        Patrisa

                        • June 6, 2017 at 7:59 pm
                        casagrayson
                        Participant

                          Janis, I'm so very sorry.   It sounds as if you could use something for the anxiety — very understandable at this stage.  Please ask your doctor for an Rx.  When my father lost cognition, the hospice nurses starting staying 24/7 (he was bedbound at the time).  Any chance of getting this kind of help?

                          • June 7, 2017 at 2:03 am
                          maperny
                          Participant

                            Dear Janis,

                            so very, very sorry to read this.  I know there are no words that can take away your pain but at least you can be reassured that we are all here for you in spirit and understanding.

                            You have been and continue to be an angel for Shane and I believe he feels every bit of love you can shower on him even if he cannot express his response to it.

                            May God bless you and help bring you strength and peace

                            Maria

                             

                        Viewing 9 reply threads
                        • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                        About the MRF Patient Forum

                        The MRF Patient Forum is the oldest and largest online community of people affected by melanoma. It is designed to provide peer support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. There is no better place to discuss different parts of your journey with this cancer and find the friends and support resources to make that journey more bearable.

                        The information on the forum is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.

                        Popular Topics