Guilt from missing events

Never feel guilty for what you can and cannot do. I apologized the other day for being such a burden as folks carried my cushions and I hobbled into the restaurant. Mom said not to apologize and it is just wonderful for me to still be here. 

I used to avoid going to things early on. Then I realized I can either stay in my recliner and feel crummy or be with folks that care about me and feel crummy. But that was a decision I had to come to.

As far as energy keytruda is immunotherapy and for me it actually made me feel better. You might have something else going on maybe with your diet or exercise causing the lack of energy. One thing I recently found is a drink with the brand called orgain. Tastes good. Decent amount of protein. None of the crud others put in theirs. Also the brand naked has a lot of good juices. Also walking even when you don't feel like it even just around the inside of the house can help get your system going and more energy.

Artie

Never feel guilty for what you can and cannot do. I apologized the other day for being such a burden as folks carried my cushions and I hobbled into the restaurant. Mom said not to apologize and it is just wonderful for me to still be here. 

I used to avoid going to things early on. Then I realized I can either stay in my recliner and feel crummy or be with folks that care about me and feel crummy. But that was a decision I had to come to.

As far as energy keytruda is immunotherapy and for me it actually made me feel better. You might have something else going on maybe with your diet or exercise causing the lack of energy. One thing I recently found is a drink with the brand called orgain. Tastes good. Decent amount of protein. None of the crud others put in theirs. Also the brand naked has a lot of good juices. Also walking even when you don't feel like it even just around the inside of the house can help get your system going and more energy.

Artie

Never feel guilty for what you can and cannot do. I apologized the other day for being such a burden as folks carried my cushions and I hobbled into the restaurant. Mom said not to apologize and it is just wonderful for me to still be here. 

I used to avoid going to things early on. Then I realized I can either stay in my recliner and feel crummy or be with folks that care about me and feel crummy. But that was a decision I had to come to.

As far as energy keytruda is immunotherapy and for me it actually made me feel better. You might have something else going on maybe with your diet or exercise causing the lack of energy. One thing I recently found is a drink with the brand called orgain. Tastes good. Decent amount of protein. None of the crud others put in theirs. Also the brand naked has a lot of good juices. Also walking even when you don't feel like it even just around the inside of the house can help get your system going and more energy.

Artie

It sounds like you've been able to reset your own expectations to a "new normal" level of energy. It's too bad some of those around you don't understand that you need to live at that "new normal" for awhile. You're doing the right thing IMO in not exhausting yourself. I would say try not to listen too much some individuals around you who, to varying degrees, don't understand what you're dealing with. I've had to reset to a "new normal" for similar sounding reasons. I hope this situation improves around you.

It sounds like you've been able to reset your own expectations to a "new normal" level of energy. It's too bad some of those around you don't understand that you need to live at that "new normal" for awhile. You're doing the right thing IMO in not exhausting yourself. I would say try not to listen too much some individuals around you who, to varying degrees, don't understand what you're dealing with. I've had to reset to a "new normal" for similar sounding reasons. I hope this situation improves around you.

It sounds like you've been able to reset your own expectations to a "new normal" level of energy. It's too bad some of those around you don't understand that you need to live at that "new normal" for awhile. You're doing the right thing IMO in not exhausting yourself. I would say try not to listen too much some individuals around you who, to varying degrees, don't understand what you're dealing with. I've had to reset to a "new normal" for similar sounding reasons. I hope this situation improves around you.

Here is something to think about.

Since both you and your family are upset/sad about your inability to attend events. Have either of you considered using Skype, or another application, that would allow you to be at your home and contact someone at a party via video?  On their end they would need iPad or similar device that could be handed off to others at the party so you can "check in" and "visit" with family members? Your family would be able to see and hear you, you could be part of the gathering and have those memories, but would not need to go there or spend the entire time at the party.

You could use a smart phone, iPad or similar device or a computer… I'd recommend that they have a smart phone or iPad (they need wifi access) on their end.

Best

Here is something to think about.

Since both you and your family are upset/sad about your inability to attend events. Have either of you considered using Skype, or another application, that would allow you to be at your home and contact someone at a party via video?  On their end they would need iPad or similar device that could be handed off to others at the party so you can "check in" and "visit" with family members? Your family would be able to see and hear you, you could be part of the gathering and have those memories, but would not need to go there or spend the entire time at the party.

You could use a smart phone, iPad or similar device or a computer… I'd recommend that they have a smart phone or iPad (they need wifi access) on their end.

Best

Here is something to think about.

Since both you and your family are upset/sad about your inability to attend events. Have either of you considered using Skype, or another application, that would allow you to be at your home and contact someone at a party via video?  On their end they would need iPad or similar device that could be handed off to others at the party so you can "check in" and "visit" with family members? Your family would be able to see and hear you, you could be part of the gathering and have those memories, but would not need to go there or spend the entire time at the party.

You could use a smart phone, iPad or similar device or a computer… I'd recommend that they have a smart phone or iPad (they need wifi access) on their end.

Best

Hi,,

Try not to feel guilty in not able to attend family events. I did not want to go any were when on treatment at first due to feeling rough. Worrying if I go out might need toilet due to GI issues,it is very hard for others who are not in your situation to fully understand how you feel. I understand they want you there present but you have to do what is best for you at present. A thought if a family event just go for a short while then go home. I have a large family so lots of things going off all the time but I go if ok or for a bit but do not feel guilty if cannot go my family very understanding. 

Do what is best for you, take care 

scooby

Hi,,

Try not to feel guilty in not able to attend family events. I did not want to go any were when on treatment at first due to feeling rough. Worrying if I go out might need toilet due to GI issues,it is very hard for others who are not in your situation to fully understand how you feel. I understand they want you there present but you have to do what is best for you at present. A thought if a family event just go for a short while then go home. I have a large family so lots of things going off all the time but I go if ok or for a bit but do not feel guilty if cannot go my family very understanding. 

Do what is best for you, take care 

scooby

Hi,,

Try not to feel guilty in not able to attend family events. I did not want to go any were when on treatment at first due to feeling rough. Worrying if I go out might need toilet due to GI issues,it is very hard for others who are not in your situation to fully understand how you feel. I understand they want you there present but you have to do what is best for you at present. A thought if a family event just go for a short while then go home. I have a large family so lots of things going off all the time but I go if ok or for a bit but do not feel guilty if cannot go my family very understanding. 

Do what is best for you, take care 

scooby

Speaking as a family member, I would recommend sitting down with your family members and making sure they really understand how you are feeling. I think it is often assumed.  Looking back I wished we discussed things like this more often.  A social worker in your oncology program can also help with explaining to family how you might be feeling when going through surgery and treatments and how they can better support you.  Just a thought…

Speaking as a family member, I would recommend sitting down with your family members and making sure they really understand how you are feeling. I think it is often assumed.  Looking back I wished we discussed things like this more often.  A social worker in your oncology program can also help with explaining to family how you might be feeling when going through surgery and treatments and how they can better support you.  Just a thought…

Speaking as a family member, I would recommend sitting down with your family members and making sure they really understand how you are feeling. I think it is often assumed.  Looking back I wished we discussed things like this more often.  A social worker in your oncology program can also help with explaining to family how you might be feeling when going through surgery and treatments and how they can better support you.  Just a thought…

PamelaA, You need to give up on the guilt.  No one can make you feel guilty except you.  Your family is sad to be missing you and they clearly don't understand what you are going through.  Keep that perspective – they don't understand – that's not your fault.  You need to do what you need to do to recover and get healthy.  That is nothing to feel guilty about.  We cannot control how others feel about our situation so let it go.  You deserve to take care of yourself right now.  Give yourself permission to do so – guilt-free.

PamelaA, You need to give up on the guilt.  No one can make you feel guilty except you.  Your family is sad to be missing you and they clearly don't understand what you are going through.  Keep that perspective – they don't understand – that's not your fault.  You need to do what you need to do to recover and get healthy.  That is nothing to feel guilty about.  We cannot control how others feel about our situation so let it go.  You deserve to take care of yourself right now.  Give yourself permission to do so – guilt-free.

PamelaA, You need to give up on the guilt.  No one can make you feel guilty except you.  Your family is sad to be missing you and they clearly don't understand what you are going through.  Keep that perspective – they don't understand – that's not your fault.  You need to do what you need to do to recover and get healthy.  That is nothing to feel guilty about.  We cannot control how others feel about our situation so let it go.  You deserve to take care of yourself right now.  Give yourself permission to do so – guilt-free.