thebunches

We go to the surg onc on Monday for my husband's first consult after seeing the derm, and he is probably either a Stage I or Stage III. I don't know which of us is more afraid. I think we can handle Stage I…but my husband says if it's more advanced, he doesn't want to live with chemo or anything like that. I don't know what to do. I want to fight this with everything we've got, but I also want to respect his wishes.

So my question is… how long have you had mel, and at what Stage are you now?

We go to the surg onc on Monday for my husband's first consult after seeing the derm, and he is probably either a Stage I or Stage III. I don't know which of us is more afraid. I think we can handle Stage I…but my husband says if it's more advanced, he doesn't want to live with chemo or anything like that. I don't know what to do. I want to fight this with everything we've got, but I also want to respect his wishes.

So my question is… how long have you had mel, and at what Stage are you now?

Oops, Clark Level is FOUR (IV).

Oops, Clark Level is FOUR (IV).

THANKS, Janner! So I assume that when the nurse at the derm office told me on the phone that it's "Stage 4", she meant Clark Level IV which is an entirely different scale?! This is only at Stage 1?!?!

Are these always connected to a lymph node?

Getting further surgery to get rid of it is FINE with me… we have just been going back and forth with him "not seeing our kids grow up", figuring out life insurance, etc etc etc. It sure would have been nice if the derm office hadn't completely FREAKED us out by saying "Stage Four"!!!!!!!!!

I will definitely keep you all updated as I know we will have questions in the future and in starting to deal with this disease. I think we both thought we were handed a pink slip and this was the end of the line. I do anxiously anticipate what the surg onc will have to say, but at least at this point, we can try to tread water instead of drown. Right?

THANK YOU all again for your helpful words and your replies. I know you've all been there before, but there's just nothing like it when you get a phone call that says, "You have cancer."

It is my prayer now that this is the worst one in his body, and that we will catch any others in the very early stages. Hugs to each and every one of you…words cannot express my gratitude.

Hi there! Based on the feedback we got from my husband's surgical oncologist, here's what your path report probably means:

Thickness (also called the Breslow depth) of 0.75 mm = this is actually LESS than what my husband's thickness was; this is what the doctors typically use to discern the status of the cancer. 0.75 is somewhat thick, but in the grand scheme of things, still very manageable.

Level of Invasion = this is actually NOT your husband's "stage" of cancer. This is the Clark's Level. (My husband's was Level IV, which I originally thought that was the Stage. These are two TOTALLY different things.)

Ulceration = this just means if it is oozing or leaking any sort of liquid…blood, pus, drainage, etc.

Mitotic Rate = My husband had the exact same rate: <1/mm2. This means that the melanoma is NOT spreading at a brisk pace; it is very slow-growing (a GOOD thing!!).

Path Stage = T1a; this is just another way of the doc figuring out the status of the cancer. This is on the LOW side of the path stages. (Another GOOD thing)

My husband had the WLE (wide lateral excision) and the SNB (sentinel node biopsy). When all was said and done, the total size of the melanoma was 1.2mm (not much deeper than your husband's 0.75mm), and they took two lymph nodes that showed that that's where the cancer COULD have spread if it was going to spread. (It didn't, and both lymph nodes showed NO SIGNS of cancer.)

After all is said and done, now my husband has a great big scar (about 10 inches) along with a smaller one where they removed the two lymph nodes. HE IS AT STAGE ONE and we now go back for 3-month follow ups wtih his dermatologist for awhile. If there were a "good" diagnosis under melanoma, this would be it. If you have to have cancer, it doesn't get much "better" than this stage.

In all reality, your husband is probably NOT a Stage III…that is more than likely the Clark's Level III. (The dermatologists can sometimes be very confusing.)

Make sure your husband sees an oncologist who SPECIALIZES in melanoma and not just a general oncologist to treat this disease. If you can find a melanoma specialist in a dermatologist, get them as well.

Keep your chin up…I know it seems like the world may be ending, but I assure you, things can get better. Hugs to you; we're all here if you need us.

Hi there! Based on the feedback we got from my husband's surgical oncologist, here's what your path report probably means:

Thickness (also called the Breslow depth) of 0.75 mm = this is actually LESS than what my husband's thickness was; this is what the doctors typically use to discern the status of the cancer. 0.75 is somewhat thick, but in the grand scheme of things, still very manageable.

Level of Invasion = this is actually NOT your husband's "stage" of cancer. This is the Clark's Level. (My husband's was Level IV, which I originally thought that was the Stage. These are two TOTALLY different things.)

Ulceration = this just means if it is oozing or leaking any sort of liquid…blood, pus, drainage, etc.

Mitotic Rate = My husband had the exact same rate: <1/mm2. This means that the melanoma is NOT spreading at a brisk pace; it is very slow-growing (a GOOD thing!!).

Path Stage = T1a; this is just another way of the doc figuring out the status of the cancer. This is on the LOW side of the path stages. (Another GOOD thing)

My husband had the WLE (wide lateral excision) and the SNB (sentinel node biopsy). When all was said and done, the total size of the melanoma was 1.2mm (not much deeper than your husband's 0.75mm), and they took two lymph nodes that showed that that's where the cancer COULD have spread if it was going to spread. (It didn't, and both lymph nodes showed NO SIGNS of cancer.)

After all is said and done, now my husband has a great big scar (about 10 inches) along with a smaller one where they removed the two lymph nodes. HE IS AT STAGE ONE and we now go back for 3-month follow ups wtih his dermatologist for awhile. If there were a "good" diagnosis under melanoma, this would be it. If you have to have cancer, it doesn't get much "better" than this stage.

In all reality, your husband is probably NOT a Stage III…that is more than likely the Clark's Level III. (The dermatologists can sometimes be very confusing.)

Make sure your husband sees an oncologist who SPECIALIZES in melanoma and not just a general oncologist to treat this disease. If you can find a melanoma specialist in a dermatologist, get them as well.

Keep your chin up…I know it seems like the world may be ending, but I assure you, things can get better. Hugs to you; we're all here if you need us.

Thanks, Janner! You're probably right; I was just happy to hear it hadn't spread and probably forgot to listen to the rest of it. I will check the reports just to be sure. 🙂

Thanks, Janner! You're probably right; I was just happy to hear it hadn't spread and probably forgot to listen to the rest of it. I will check the reports just to be sure. 🙂

Thanks, Dian! With the hundreds of thousands of people with mel, I know that the few who answer here are only the tip if the iceberg in "poll responses". However, it is nice to know that there are other people in the same boat, and that my husband doesn't have to throw in the towel after just this initial report.

It is definitely a very scary diagnosis…but we are putting our faith in God and we know He will bring us through each and every day.

Thanks, Dian! With the hundreds of thousands of people with mel, I know that the few who answer here are only the tip if the iceberg in "poll responses". However, it is nice to know that there are other people in the same boat, and that my husband doesn't have to throw in the towel after just this initial report.

It is definitely a very scary diagnosis…but we are putting our faith in God and we know He will bring us through each and every day.

NicOz, how did you cope with getting that news with a 3-year-old child at home? (Congrats on your three years, by the way! That's awesome!)

NicOz, how did you cope with getting that news with a 3-year-old child at home? (Congrats on your three years, by the way! That's awesome!)