jenniperry

And you in mine.  I think about you guys so much too!  I can't even stand it that you guys are going through this!

And you in mine.  I think about you guys so much too!  I can't even stand it that you guys are going through this!

thank you Cate.  So sorry about your father.  I lost my father when he was only 41 to a heart attack, then my husband died at 41 from melanoma.  I hated I never got to say goodbye to my dad.  I got to say good bye and I love you every day all day until Brian passed, but I had to watch him suffer too.  Both are so hard.  Take care, and thanks for taking time to respond.

thank you Cate.  So sorry about your father.  I lost my father when he was only 41 to a heart attack, then my husband died at 41 from melanoma.  I hated I never got to say goodbye to my dad.  I got to say good bye and I love you every day all day until Brian passed, but I had to watch him suffer too.  Both are so hard.  Take care, and thanks for taking time to respond.

Thanks Patrick.  I'll never forget at Valentines crying because I hadn't been able to leave and get him a card and some friends of his had brought him about ten to pick from for me.  I felt so bad he had a card for me and I didn't have one for him.  He said, you prove how much you love me every day!  I knew he was right, I didn't need to get him a card, I said I love you verbally and in everything I did everyday to care for him.  I definitely know I did every single thing I could do to take the best care of him, including giving him his biggest wish, to stay at home and not have to go to a hospital.  He is definitely in a better place than here now. 

Thanks Patrick.  I'll never forget at Valentines crying because I hadn't been able to leave and get him a card and some friends of his had brought him about ten to pick from for me.  I felt so bad he had a card for me and I didn't have one for him.  He said, you prove how much you love me every day!  I knew he was right, I didn't need to get him a card, I said I love you verbally and in everything I did everyday to care for him.  I definitely know I did every single thing I could do to take the best care of him, including giving him his biggest wish, to stay at home and not have to go to a hospital.  He is definitely in a better place than here now. 

Definitely trying to forget the sickness and remember all the lovely things about our life.  We had so much extra time afforded us and we took advantage of it for sure!  He got a glimpse of heaven and shared so much love with us.  What a beautiful life!

Definitely trying to forget the sickness and remember all the lovely things about our life.  We had so much extra time afforded us and we took advantage of it for sure!  He got a glimpse of heaven and shared so much love with us.  What a beautiful life!

I read your blog!  Love how honest you are about it.  People just don't get how dangerous this cancer is.  I've been burned before and peeled more times than I can count.  I'm going next Thursday to get checked by a Dermatologist.  I told Brian before he died I was going to get checked even though I have no moles.  Always better to be safe than sorry.  Brian's page on facebook is BOP Fights Melanoma.  He fought so hard and lived incredibly long for what he had.  Found the cancer in his liver and lungs in December 2009, found it in his meninges and spinal fluid in December 2010, he died March 5th, 2011.  What  a  fighter!

I read your blog!  Love how honest you are about it.  People just don't get how dangerous this cancer is.  I've been burned before and peeled more times than I can count.  I'm going next Thursday to get checked by a Dermatologist.  I told Brian before he died I was going to get checked even though I have no moles.  Always better to be safe than sorry.  Brian's page on facebook is BOP Fights Melanoma.  He fought so hard and lived incredibly long for what he had.  Found the cancer in his liver and lungs in December 2009, found it in his meninges and spinal fluid in December 2010, he died March 5th, 2011.  What  a  fighter!

Thank you Sherron.   I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's amazing how fast it can take over and take away the life you share.  I'm still very angry, but really just at the cancer!  It's such a stupid disease!  It just really frustrates me.  I will always miss my Brian and the beautiful life we built.  We had planned so many things in life. I am trying to take baby steps forward toward a new normal. 

Thank you Sherron.   I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's amazing how fast it can take over and take away the life you share.  I'm still very angry, but really just at the cancer!  It's such a stupid disease!  It just really frustrates me.  I will always miss my Brian and the beautiful life we built.  We had planned so many things in life. I am trying to take baby steps forward toward a new normal. 

Thank you Donna.  So amazed people take time to respond.  I know so many are suffering.  Still praying for someone to find the cure.

Thank you Donna.  So amazed people take time to respond.  I know so many are suffering.  Still praying for someone to find the cure.

Hospice is here three days a week and tons of support from friends.  My mom was supposed to come, however at the last minute decided to head south to stay with my sister because she was having threats of miscarriage.  I was very upset, as she didn't even call to tell me she wasn't coming, I heard that from my sister.  I haven't spoken to her since asking her to come.  I've been doing this mostly alone.  His brother came for almost 5 days and that was a huge help and his mom came at the beginning for 11 days.  Now it's mostly friends showing up to chat.  He really won't let anyone help him except me, but is still ambulatory, which is amazing in itself.  Most things I've read on leptomeningeal disease untreated is at most 4-8 weeks and we are going on week 9.  I'm just tired and scared.  Thank you for the encouragement.