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Sugery this Thursday
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Sugery this Thursday

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Sugery this Thursday

  • Post
    • June 3, 2013 at 11:42 pm
    flvermonter
    Participant

      Hi, I am on again and stressed but on the computer.  Don't want my husband to feel my stress on top of his own.   We go down to Tampa for Dr Zager removing the rest of the lymph nodes on his right side.  We were told 2 – 3 days in the hospital, with first night in icu.  Will have a drain for 4-6 weeks, and lung surgery on 6/20 with Dr Toloza at Moffit.  That surgery will result in about 5 days in the hospital.

       

      Hi, I am on again and stressed but on the computer.  Don't want my husband to feel my stress on top of his own.   We go down to Tampa for Dr Zager removing the rest of the lymph nodes on his right side.  We were told 2 – 3 days in the hospital, with first night in icu.  Will have a drain for 4-6 weeks, and lung surgery on 6/20 with Dr Toloza at Moffit.  That surgery will result in about 5 days in the hospital.

       

      One good thing is his stress test last week was ok and the cardiologist gave his permission for the surgeries.  I guess I am just worrying about what will be next.  He feels fine physically so no symptons.  I have questions about after the surgeries.  Will he had radiation for the melanoma and the lung cancer?  Both doctors mentioned probably radiation treatment.  Not sure how that works other than I hear 5 days a week for 6 weeks.

      None of the doctors said any more about the spot on his liver and as I read the doctors notes (THorasic and Melanoma), it states how all the tumors are growing, since the pet scan.  I guess I am looking to relieve stress typing on the board here and it does help.  Bottom line, I am just scared.

      Thanks, Mary

    Viewing 8 reply threads
    • Replies
        • June 4, 2013 at 12:50 am
        LibbyinVA
        Participant
          Hi, Mary – Of course you are afraid. You are dealing with a scary disease. This is the best place to brings your fears because we have all been there and really do know how you feel. We try to be strong for our loved ones which leaves us with no one to express our feelings to. All of which just increases our anxiety and fear. Your husband is probably just as afraid, but husbands and wives usually find it easier to talk to someone else, or not talk about it at all.

          I have always felt that my husband and children had and continue to have a bigger burden to carry than I do. As the patient I somehow felt more in charge. However, all they felt was fear about losing me. This is difficult to explain, but I think if they had talked about it more, on a site like this, they might not have been so scared.

          So, keep coming here when you feel scared. There are so many compassionate people here. This board was my lifeline when first diagnosed. I was dx’ed in 2005 at stage 3b and am about to celebrate my 8th year NED anniversary. Hope my story will give you some hope.

          Just keep coming here whenever you want and there will be someone here to give you hope and compassion.

          Wishing your husband all the best. Take care.

          Libby

          • June 4, 2013 at 12:50 am
          LibbyinVA
          Participant
            Hi, Mary – Of course you are afraid. You are dealing with a scary disease. This is the best place to brings your fears because we have all been there and really do know how you feel. We try to be strong for our loved ones which leaves us with no one to express our feelings to. All of which just increases our anxiety and fear. Your husband is probably just as afraid, but husbands and wives usually find it easier to talk to someone else, or not talk about it at all.

            I have always felt that my husband and children had and continue to have a bigger burden to carry than I do. As the patient I somehow felt more in charge. However, all they felt was fear about losing me. This is difficult to explain, but I think if they had talked about it more, on a site like this, they might not have been so scared.

            So, keep coming here when you feel scared. There are so many compassionate people here. This board was my lifeline when first diagnosed. I was dx’ed in 2005 at stage 3b and am about to celebrate my 8th year NED anniversary. Hope my story will give you some hope.

            Just keep coming here whenever you want and there will be someone here to give you hope and compassion.

            Wishing your husband all the best. Take care.

            Libby

            • June 4, 2013 at 12:50 am
            LibbyinVA
            Participant
              Hi, Mary – Of course you are afraid. You are dealing with a scary disease. This is the best place to brings your fears because we have all been there and really do know how you feel. We try to be strong for our loved ones which leaves us with no one to express our feelings to. All of which just increases our anxiety and fear. Your husband is probably just as afraid, but husbands and wives usually find it easier to talk to someone else, or not talk about it at all.

              I have always felt that my husband and children had and continue to have a bigger burden to carry than I do. As the patient I somehow felt more in charge. However, all they felt was fear about losing me. This is difficult to explain, but I think if they had talked about it more, on a site like this, they might not have been so scared.

              So, keep coming here when you feel scared. There are so many compassionate people here. This board was my lifeline when first diagnosed. I was dx’ed in 2005 at stage 3b and am about to celebrate my 8th year NED anniversary. Hope my story will give you some hope.

              Just keep coming here whenever you want and there will be someone here to give you hope and compassion.

              Wishing your husband all the best. Take care.

              Libby

              • June 4, 2013 at 1:07 am
              washoegal
              Participant

                Mary,

                I can't blame you for being frightened.  You and your husband are going to have a rough several weeks.  There is one thing I have learned with oncologist, that is to stop them and slow them down and ask them questions.  If they have not mentioned the spot on the liver ask them.    Are you sure the spot on the liver is a tumor, it may very well not be.

                You caught the lung cancer very early so hopefully there will be a complete cure.  The radiation is generally only for lung cancer, is is usually not effective for melanoma. 

                Make sure you understand how to care for the drains before you bring your husband home.  Again, don't be afraid to ask questions more than once.

                Mary

                Stage 3

                  • June 4, 2013 at 3:17 am
                  flvermonter
                  Participant
                    hello, thanks

                    you are right.. I need to ask about the liver dpit again. Dr Zager said he was not worried as was small and could be anything.
                    will also make sure I understand about the drsins. for when he is home.

                    thanks mary

                    • June 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                    NYKaren
                    Participant
                      Dear Mary,
                      You are spot on… This is just me, but when my husband tells me how worried he is about me, I feel soo guilty, and sometimes even angry. Once I lost it and said “I have enough on my plate, go tell someone else how worried you are!” Nice, right?
                      So you are definitely in the right place.
                      BTW, once you’re home, the hospital/doctor can probably have a visiting nurse come check on the drains.
                      You are both in my thoughts, please post when you can.
                      Karen
                      • June 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                      NYKaren
                      Participant
                        Dear Mary,
                        You are spot on… This is just me, but when my husband tells me how worried he is about me, I feel soo guilty, and sometimes even angry. Once I lost it and said “I have enough on my plate, go tell someone else how worried you are!” Nice, right?
                        So you are definitely in the right place.
                        BTW, once you’re home, the hospital/doctor can probably have a visiting nurse come check on the drains.
                        You are both in my thoughts, please post when you can.
                        Karen
                        • June 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm
                        NYKaren
                        Participant
                          Dear Mary,
                          You are spot on… This is just me, but when my husband tells me how worried he is about me, I feel soo guilty, and sometimes even angry. Once I lost it and said “I have enough on my plate, go tell someone else how worried you are!” Nice, right?
                          So you are definitely in the right place.
                          BTW, once you’re home, the hospital/doctor can probably have a visiting nurse come check on the drains.
                          You are both in my thoughts, please post when you can.
                          Karen
                          • June 4, 2013 at 7:17 pm
                          flvermonter
                          Participant

                            Thanks to all of you.   Hugs, Mary

                            • June 4, 2013 at 7:17 pm
                            flvermonter
                            Participant

                              Thanks to all of you.   Hugs, Mary

                              • June 4, 2013 at 7:17 pm
                              flvermonter
                              Participant

                                Thanks to all of you.   Hugs, Mary

                                • June 4, 2013 at 3:17 am
                                flvermonter
                                Participant
                                  hello, thanks

                                  you are right.. I need to ask about the liver dpit again. Dr Zager said he was not worried as was small and could be anything.
                                  will also make sure I understand about the drsins. for when he is home.

                                  thanks mary

                                  • June 4, 2013 at 3:17 am
                                  flvermonter
                                  Participant
                                    hello, thanks

                                    you are right.. I need to ask about the liver dpit again. Dr Zager said he was not worried as was small and could be anything.
                                    will also make sure I understand about the drsins. for when he is home.

                                    thanks mary

                                  • June 4, 2013 at 1:07 am
                                  washoegal
                                  Participant

                                    Mary,

                                    I can't blame you for being frightened.  You and your husband are going to have a rough several weeks.  There is one thing I have learned with oncologist, that is to stop them and slow them down and ask them questions.  If they have not mentioned the spot on the liver ask them.    Are you sure the spot on the liver is a tumor, it may very well not be.

                                    You caught the lung cancer very early so hopefully there will be a complete cure.  The radiation is generally only for lung cancer, is is usually not effective for melanoma. 

                                    Make sure you understand how to care for the drains before you bring your husband home.  Again, don't be afraid to ask questions more than once.

                                    Mary

                                    Stage 3

                                    • June 4, 2013 at 1:07 am
                                    washoegal
                                    Participant

                                      Mary,

                                      I can't blame you for being frightened.  You and your husband are going to have a rough several weeks.  There is one thing I have learned with oncologist, that is to stop them and slow them down and ask them questions.  If they have not mentioned the spot on the liver ask them.    Are you sure the spot on the liver is a tumor, it may very well not be.

                                      You caught the lung cancer very early so hopefully there will be a complete cure.  The radiation is generally only for lung cancer, is is usually not effective for melanoma. 

                                      Make sure you understand how to care for the drains before you bring your husband home.  Again, don't be afraid to ask questions more than once.

                                      Mary

                                      Stage 3

                                      • June 4, 2013 at 11:20 pm
                                      Cindy VT
                                      Participant

                                        Of Course you are scared.  Its a scarey thing to go through.  If you have faith its a good time to use it, if not, talking about it with people who understand helps.  I sincerely hope he will go through his surgery well.  You can't look to forward, its better if you just think about now and go from there. 

                                        I wish you and your husband the best.

                                         

                                        Cindy VT

                                        Stage IIIB

                                        • June 4, 2013 at 11:20 pm
                                        Cindy VT
                                        Participant

                                          Of Course you are scared.  Its a scarey thing to go through.  If you have faith its a good time to use it, if not, talking about it with people who understand helps.  I sincerely hope he will go through his surgery well.  You can't look to forward, its better if you just think about now and go from there. 

                                          I wish you and your husband the best.

                                           

                                          Cindy VT

                                          Stage IIIB

                                          • June 4, 2013 at 11:20 pm
                                          Cindy VT
                                          Participant

                                            Of Course you are scared.  Its a scarey thing to go through.  If you have faith its a good time to use it, if not, talking about it with people who understand helps.  I sincerely hope he will go through his surgery well.  You can't look to forward, its better if you just think about now and go from there. 

                                            I wish you and your husband the best.

                                             

                                            Cindy VT

                                            Stage IIIB

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